Deleting unmotivating MFP friends

13

Replies

  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    I delete people pretty frequently. It's just the internet so if they're clogging up by newsfeed with crap, bye bye. I doubt they even notice.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
    I just deleted over 30 people.

    I usually accept everyone, unless it's an obvious creepy guy with 5 friends who are girls and a blank profile or if it's someone eating 500 cals a day or bulimic.

    If they haven't logged on in over 2 weeks, I'll delete unless they've said they are going on vacation or something. I've also deleted whiny people who complain about their boyfriends/husbands, how they ate a WHOLE cheeseburger, etc. Lastly, I delete if the only exercise they continue to log is cleaning and they cry about not losing any weight.
  • enid71571
    enid71571 Posts: 16
    I only delete people if their comments annoy me, and I can see they aren't my kind of people. Sometimes I don't log for a long time because I am trying to learn how to eat and live WITHOUT being so dependent on the computer. I'm still here-still trying to lose weight. I appreciate the social support, but only when I need it. Does that make sense?
  • Afterblue
    Afterblue Posts: 78 Member
    Here is what I think friends are for.

    1. You comment on their progress, buck them up, cheer them on, congratulate them when they do good, and encourage them when they have a bad day.

    2. They do the same.

    A friend who never comments, or shares in your accomplishments/challenges when you have been consistent in posting in their feed? I don't think they are worth keeping on in the long run. A couple of weeks sure. Maybe they are not around, or are dealing with real life issues. But a friend who consistently demands or expects support and never offers you any ever, is not someone you'd want offline, so why would you keep them online?

    It is a two way street.
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    I've deleted people who used their status updates as a bizarre self-loathing 'Dear Diary' that they update hourly...

    I know, I've run into a surprisingly large number of people who do that. Pretty strange.
  • onyxgirl17
    onyxgirl17 Posts: 1,722 Member
    I'm still pretty new so haven't run into this yet.
  • ndearing0501
    ndearing0501 Posts: 145 Member
    I'm not trying to lose weight, but do this to be healthy and a motivation and support team for those who need it to lose weight. I log my foods and exercises every day. I love seeing those I know and those I don't know succeed in their goals. I have had a few ppl that I know and don't know stop logging after a week and I delete them. There's no point. If they want to succeed, they have to put time into it. Dedication and no excuses. It annoys me because I know one person in real life who really wants to lose weight, but constantly makes bad decisions and gets pissed that she doesn't lose weight. You really have to work hard, if u didn't everyone would be doing it. I kno she can, but she's very lazy. It makes me so disappointed.
    I understand where you are coming from, it's not motivating to yourself either and it makes you sad and disappointed for those you do know.
  • mandylanerocks
    mandylanerocks Posts: 100 Member
    I agree with pretty much EVERY post before me. I haven't deleted loads of people, but I've wanted to for almost EVERY reason posted!!!!!! I'm glad I'm not alone!

    It is a two-way street. I'm a very supportive person! online & in real life, haha. I want the same from people. I understand not everyone has the time, etc etc etc etc.... but still. send me a message or a comment or SOMETHING.

    luckily, I've encountered great people who have been supportive & realize that I am doing my best to support them, so they do the same for me.
  • Sabs_21
    Sabs_21 Posts: 65 Member
    I completely agree. I deleted my husband after 2 weeks of inactivity!

    Me too! lol
  • ancia03
    ancia03 Posts: 43
    I give people a chance. I understand we're all busy and sometimes cannot comment etc. but if it continues for over 2 weeks or so I jus delete them. Otherwise it will become Facebook 2. Collecting friends! - one of the reasons why I left Facebook
  • Tennessee2019
    Tennessee2019 Posts: 676 Member
    1 month is my limit when it comes to keeping friends on here or in my T.H.E. group
  • Sarah_Wins
    Sarah_Wins Posts: 936 Member
    I delete after a couple weeks, maybe less, unless I know they're on vacation. Or if I haven't heard one word from them since they FR me.
  • ndearing0501
    ndearing0501 Posts: 145 Member
    I completely agree. I deleted my husband after 2 weeks of inactivity!

    Me too! lol

    Haha so did I! But after a week!
  • jfrankic
    jfrankic Posts: 747 Member
    I just accepted a friend today (profile completely blocked) and then immediately deleted when I saw what she was doing to her body. She was on some "fad" diet and basically starving herself. Others had expressed concern on her posts and she just thanked them for their concern. I don't want my board filled with her posts about the unhealthy stuff she is doing - and seeing people congratulate her for it.

    I take care of people ALL day long with my 11 month old, my 3 1/3 year old and my 86 year old Alzheimer's lady we keep for 40+ hours a week. MFP is what I do for me. I don't need any other "kids". **rant over**
  • Libb3C
    Libb3C Posts: 56 Member
    I try and only delete anyone at least not logged for a month. I don't go in with intentions of deleting, I usually do it when I am looking for a friends page and notice others who are inactive. I've missed 1 day in over a year so I like having friends who are serious! I get that life happens, it is summer and many people have vacations and such.
  • Behavior_Modification
    Behavior_Modification Posts: 24,482 Member
    This is my support system. If you're not active, you're not a part of it. I don't have a set time or anything and it isn't personal - I have deleted my best friend and my sister - and as I tell anyone else, come find me when you decide to come back. I'll be here.
  • Beastette
    Beastette Posts: 1,497 Member
    *preleted*

    I like to plan ahead. You're welcome.
  • cmp_denver
    cmp_denver Posts: 44 Member
    I delete after one month. I give them the benefit of the doubt that they're on some fantastic vacation with no internet access, at one month though - I delete them.
  • fatboypup
    fatboypup Posts: 1,873 Member
    14 days unless your pregnant, dead or an Arabo
  • RobynMWilson
    RobynMWilson Posts: 1,540 Member
    I don't delete people unless they really, really offend me. If they're inactive they might come back. Why would inactivity bother me? I can't see it...

    ^^^^ yep! If they do come back, how motivating would it be if all their friends deleted them? People struggle with adapting to a healthier lifestyle. I mean, come on, how many times have all of us fallen off the wagon?? And if they're not writing on my wall or commenting on my diaries..well mayyyybe they're not just sitting around on MFP waiting for me to do something. As much as I'd like to think it's all about me, it really isn't lol
  • Kristy_Elizabeth
    Kristy_Elizabeth Posts: 435
    I don't really delete anyone unless they deactivate their account. I'm super active and involved sometimes and MIA at others. I don't mind if other people are the same way. A few people have deleted me and that's fine. If how I choose to participate or not on MFP is detracted from somebody's goals or whatever, then please delete away. =)
  • Melroxsox
    Melroxsox Posts: 1,040 Member
    yup 2 months is my cutoff....they will re-add you if you were of any use to them if they ever return is how I see it. I want the most supportive friends that are here daily on my friends list.....I do my best to encourage/advise/support my friends, and I would love the same back:)
  • Amryfal
    Amryfal Posts: 225
    i haven't deleted my sister, best friend, or fiancé, because i keep hoping they'll come back :) other than that, all the people i've friended have been very active. i have deleted a few people who A) spam my feed constantly with their latest weight loss product/personal website, because i didn't come here for ads, or B) eat way less than 1200 calories a day and swear it's healthy, because i don't need the ED triggers.
  • robpett2001
    robpett2001 Posts: 320 Member
    I've had several people become active again after having struggles for months, so I don't delete anyone I have had active conversations with, even if they go quiet for a few months. If they're having trouble, I'd rather be there for them when they come back.
  • maspicantexfa
    maspicantexfa Posts: 73 Member
    I don't think I've ever deleted anyone
  • KimL122
    KimL122 Posts: 270 Member
    I won't even lie I've only been on MFP sinve mid-May & I delete once you hit 10 days of no activity. Call it mean or whatever you want to call it but I really don't see a reason to keep you around if you aren't coming on to log. I found this site to be very motivating & people have said that I help motivate them as well, so if you aren't logging in there no motivation at all.....just my opinion.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I delete after one month. I think after one month, you've lost interest in being on here...

    Same. I check their profile before deleting, just to check for "I'm on vacation" messages, and most who've been inactive a month haven't really logged anything in about three months. Nothing showing on the food or exercise diary, no status updates or comments on posts or other people's profiles. That's someone who's lost interest in the site.
  • MelissaGraham7
    MelissaGraham7 Posts: 406 Member
    oh yes - reminds me, time to go do that! LOL :smile:
  • funkycamper
    funkycamper Posts: 998 Member
    I've never deleted anyone.

    On the other hand, I recently took a break from MFP because I just needed it. Now, the break was longer than I intended but this doesn't mean that I quit eating well most of the time. Yeah, I slipped up a little more without regular logging in but I was still eating healthy most days.

    And, to top it off, I was doing a lot of very long bike rides in order to complete a 204-mile, 2-day bike ride in mid-July. Which I did. Yippeee!! So, it's not like absence here means that all people not posting aren't keeping up with a healthy lifestyle.

    Anyway, I came back and found that a lot of people had deleted me. I was so happy to share my success on this long bike ride and had few people to share it with. Made me sad.
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
    I think you know very quickly whether someone is the kind of person that you'd get along with in real life or the kind of person who would annoy the h@ll out of you. In real life one of my colleagues ALWAYS talks about how she wants to lose weight but all she does it make excuses - I'm too tired to exercise, I'm sick, my friend was eating ice-cream so I had to eat some, I was in a rush so I ate McDonalds and every second day is a 'cheat day'... I just can't be around that, I can't offer support to someone who doesn't even try!

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