What the newbie should know

Options
24

Replies

  • redhousecat
    redhousecat Posts: 584 Member
    Options
    These are good! Keep in mind though, that just because someone is not a veteran on MFP doesn't mean they aren't a veteran to logging eating/exercise (one should see my stack of notebooks). MFP is a tool, not a doctrine.
  • Dauntlessness
    Dauntlessness Posts: 1,489 Member
    Options
    I've only been not he site a week, so I am not an expect on the message boards AT ALL, however...

    Do you think a lot of the "friend adding frenzy" is based on Facebook mentality of teens who want to add hundreds of people as a sign of popularity? I know that I get many, many unsolicited adds on FB, and I always respond with, "Do I know you?" :angry:

    Obviously on this site, we are looking for people who are facing similar weight loss struggles. We want someone to cheer us on, has similar goals and motivations, etc.

    I see it all the time. Thats why its so important to send a message with a friend request too. I have no idea why people do that . Id rather have 5 close friends then 100 people I don't talk to.
  • Dauntlessness
    Dauntlessness Posts: 1,489 Member
    Options
    These are good! Keep in mind though, that just because someone is not a veteran on MFP doesn't mean they aren't a veteran to logging eating/exercise (one should see my stack of notebooks). MFP is a tool, not a doctrine.

    QFT! Thats a really good point.
  • Jellyphant
    Jellyphant Posts: 1,400 Member
    Options
    One of the more popular complaints the veteran mfps like to b!tch about is using the search bar in the forums before posting a topic.
  • tater05
    tater05 Posts: 7 Member
    Options
    :smile: Very well said !!
  • AlanLeMay
    AlanLeMay Posts: 20
    Options
    Great post! Well said and very true.
  • gaylynn35
    gaylynn35 Posts: 854 Member
    Options
    Thanks for the advise. I am fairly new here also, on day 31. I love reading all of the posts. Good Luck to everyone on their journey!! :smile:
  • 62clpowell
    62clpowell Posts: 87 Member
    Options
    I new to (mfp) signed up a while ago but really haven't used it...your posting was very well sad & I so agree with it :wink:
  • PittShkr
    PittShkr Posts: 1,000 Member
    Options
    If your photo is all boobs, butts, thongs and/or groin, I am not going to be friends with you. This website is about fitness, not about how much attention you can get. It has nothing to do with "I love my body now I wanna show it off". Great, take a pic in a tasteful bikini or workout clothes. Skin is not the problem, the problem is the poses and attitude in which the picture is taken.

    ???What about the people that have lost a lot of weight and now are proud of what they have and like to show others what can be done with motivation and support from their friends?
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
    Options
    I am super active on MFP and love all my friends. I found that when I add people that are new to the site it takes them a little while to understand MFP etiquette while making new friends. I hope I don't come off as too pushy! haha

    1. Fill out your profile. If you haven't taken the time to tell me about yourself people are less likely to become your friend. We don't know anything about you and if you haven't taken the time to tell us who you are, what makes us think your going to take the time to be active on this site?

    2. Put a profile picture in. Even if its an avatar, don't leave it blank. I prefer to see your face because it shows your being accountable for where you are in your journey but I understand if people don't want to put it up there because of security reasons too.

    3. If your photo is all boobs, butts, thongs and/or groin, I am not going to be friends with you. This website is about fitness, not about how much attention you can get. It has nothing to do with "I love my body now I wanna show it off". Great, take a pic in a tasteful bikini or workout clothes. Skin is not the problem, the problem is the poses and attitude in which the picture is taken.

    4. If your the type of person who trolls profiles to see who you can hook up with-even married people, go away. Get a life.

    5. Write on your friends statuses and be supportive. Expecting others to support you without giving anything back makes us think you are the type of person who thinks they are "entitled" to it. I have said it 100 times and will say it again, I am not your Momma and the only satisfaction I need is to see you succeed without getting anything in return.

    6. Don't be a negative Nancy. Its one thing to have a bad day and ask for support but if you complain every single day, people are going to get sick of you bringing them down.

    7. This is your journey and you need to take responsibility for it. No one is going to do this for you. If you are the type of person who blames other for your slip ups saying stuff like "I binged tonight because no one commented on my status" or basing your willpower on others support, well that's not going to work. Your making the choice to eat that brownie, not us.

    8. If your going to friend someone, write something in the message! Why do you wanna be their friend? Where did you see their profile? Are you friends with any of their current friends? The problem with blank messages is that it makes us think your a troll or trying to sell us something. The only time I see this as okay is in the "Intro group" if you have already commented on the thread.

    9. Do not only come online to raise money for your race/walk/whatever or try to sell us something.

    10. If you don't have experience, don't pretend to know what your taking about. Telling a veteran of MFP who has been very successful what they are doing right/doing wrong when you haven't any experience, well, that's not going to make for a happy friend. I don't think most vets expect you to worship them or anything, or even listen to them... they do expect respect for their successes and the time they put in to achieve them. It invalidates their hard work.

    11. Finally, Be nice! If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. Support your friends! Have fun! Open up! This website can build some amazing friendships if you let it. I have friends on here that I talk to every day for years now. You can too. :)

    sorry to edit

    You have to add....12. Don't ask stupid questions. There are such a thing as a stupid question and if you ask one you will most likely be ridiculed.
  • PibblesRun
    PibblesRun Posts: 236 Member
    Options
    Im new and this stuff is just common sense to me, but guess lots of people dont have common sense anymore! I do want to say, just because your new doesnt mean you dont have experience. I have lost over 100 lbs before, just had a baby and gained most of it back during pregnancy so thats why im on here now!
  • olong
    olong Posts: 255 Member
    Options
    The key to this advice (which I completely agree with - Especially # 5 & #8) is this advice is for those who are interested in being active with MFP. A reply poster says MFP is a tool, and they're right. If you're only using MFP as a tool and not interacting with others, then the advice doesn't apply to you. I don't "accept" MFP friends who do not give me a "why" they're asking to be friends, unless I know them in the real world, then the why is not a mystery. I drop MFP friends with no hesitation if I see they only take my help & support without giving in return. I usually do not accept male friends - I'm happily married and am very suspicious of trolling.
  • AJ_Pete
    AJ_Pete Posts: 863 Member
    Options
    Though I agree with the sentiment, I think this would be better posted on your profile as *your* guidelines and not as "What the newbie SHOULD know". Everyone is different. And I'm a fan of boobies. To each their own.
  • beertrollruss
    beertrollruss Posts: 276 Member
    Options
    Very well written. Should be permanently posted.
  • RedHeadDevotchka
    RedHeadDevotchka Posts: 1,394 Member
    Options
    And I'm a fan of boobies.

    Isn't everyone? :drinker:
  • grrrlface
    grrrlface Posts: 1,204 Member
    Options
    I can see what you're getting at but these seem like *your* preference rather than the majority of the MFP community. Maybe write this on your profile, they're certainly not rules that I would stick to being so strict about. :-\

    I'm all about fun, I don't care what you look like as long as you like to have a chit chat every now and then. It's meant to be fun and encouraging! This would put me off if I was a newbie! :-)
  • AJ_Pete
    AJ_Pete Posts: 863 Member
    Options
    And I'm a fan of boobies.

    Isn't everyone? :drinker:

    Especially yours, baby :love:
  • Tsunami79
    Tsunami79 Posts: 122 Member
    Options
    Thanks, I am a newbie here too, just joined to day, even though I don't plan on starting my weight loss until Sunday. I appreciate the information. I will fill my profile in this evening.

    I am also looking for friends, I have trouble getting motivated, with out support.

    Thank You,

    Avriel
  • jackpotclown
    jackpotclown Posts: 3,291 Member
    Options
    And I'm a fan of boobies.

    Isn't everyone? :drinker:
    Here here!!! \m/ :drinker:
  • VirtuousVal
    VirtuousVal Posts: 138 Member
    Options
    I am super active on MFP and love all my friends. I found that when I add people that are new to the site it takes them a little while to understand MFP etiquette while making new friends. I hope I don't come off as too pushy! haha

    1. Fill out your profile. If you haven't taken the time to tell me about yourself people are less likely to become your friend. We don't know anything about you and if you haven't taken the time to tell us who you are, what makes us think your going to take the time to be active on this site?

    2. Put a profile picture in. Even if its an avatar, don't leave it blank. I prefer to see your face because it shows your being accountable for where you are in your journey but I understand if people don't want to put it up there because of security reasons too.

    3. If your photo is all boobs, butts, thongs and/or groin, I am not going to be friends with you. This website is about fitness, not about how much attention you can get. It has nothing to do with "I love my body now I wanna show it off". Great, take a pic in a tasteful bikini or workout clothes. Skin is not the problem, the problem is the poses and attitude in which the picture is taken.

    4. If your the type of person who trolls profiles to see who you can hook up with-even married people, go away. Get a life.

    5. Write on your friends statuses and be supportive. Expecting others to support you without giving anything back makes us think you are the type of person who thinks they are "entitled" to it. I have said it 100 times and will say it again, I am not your Momma and the only satisfaction I need is to see you succeed without getting anything in return.

    6. Don't be a negative Nancy. Its one thing to have a bad day and ask for support but if you complain every single day, people are going to get sick of you bringing them down.

    7. This is your journey and you need to take responsibility for it. No one is going to do this for you. If you are the type of person who blames other for your slip ups saying stuff like "I binged tonight because no one commented on my status" or basing your willpower on others support, well that's not going to work. Your making the choice to eat that brownie, not us.

    8. If your going to friend someone, write something in the message! Why do you wanna be their friend? Where did you see their profile? Are you friends with any of their current friends? The problem with blank messages is that it makes us think your a troll or trying to sell us something. The only time I see this as okay is in the "Intro group" if you have already commented on the thread.

    9. Do not only come online to raise money for your race/walk/whatever or try to sell us something.

    10. If you don't have experience, don't pretend to know what your taking about. Telling a veteran of MFP who has been very successful what they are doing right/doing wrong when you haven't any experience, well, that's not going to make for a happy friend. I don't think most vets expect you to worship them or anything, or even listen to them... they do expect respect for their successes and the time they put in to achieve them. It invalidates their hard work.

    11. Finally, Be nice! If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all. Support your friends! Have fun! Open up! This website can build some amazing friendships if you let it. I have friends on here that I talk to every day for years now. You can too. :)

    sorry to edit

    [/quote]
    You have to add....12. Don't ask stupid questions. There are such a thing as a stupid question and if you ask one you will most likely be ridiculed.

    # Jacwhite22 Just to make a comment to your reply..

    As Jacwhite just demonstated...There are some very narcissistic, egotistical and arrogant
    individuals on MFP. Who have the mindset that "I think I am better than you!!! " just ignore them
    or report them to MFP staff for inappropriate behavior that violates the Terms of Service of this site.

    The correct statement is that There are never ANY Stupid questions. There are so many who have
    never had the knowledge or behaviors on how to live a "Healthier LifeStyle".

    Like my profile states (example below) "The purpose of a MFP friendship is to help educate others who are
    unaware of what a healthier lifestyle" requires.

    Thank you Lect for your post! Great job & Very Nicely done Lect!

    Thanks all of you for sharing ALL of this advice!

    I have posted the following at the top of my profile. This is how I articulated what you basically said in your advice.


    From VirtuousVal's Profile:

    ♥♥♥ PLEASE TAKE NOTE ♥♥♥

    ♦♦♦♦♦Please add a message when sending a Friend Request, Thanks!

    ♦♦♦♦ Please introduce yourself and take a moment tell me why you would like to become MFP Friends.

    ♦♦♦ I will not post my MFP Friendship expectations or my rules on my profile. For it may seem to be
    unfair or judgmental. I do have a MFP friendship philosophy that is it common sense to most mature adults
    to comprehend, simply put to "Reciprocate" the basics of respect, motivation, inspiration, encouragement
    and the purpose of a MFP friendship is to help educate others who are unaware of a healthier lifestyle.
    Most of all, "CELEBRATE" one another’s goals achieved & successes.

    ♦♦ This is an ALL Gurlz-Peepz Zone for me. Any MFP Male Friend request on a case by case basis.
    I respect & honor My Husband and my commitment to my marriage.

    Best wishes to all of the Newbies on MFP. Stay encouraged and steadfast!

    Be Blessed in health, healing, and wholeness!
    Valarie aka VirtuousVal

    Bump this to save for later!

    Elephantbutt.gif

Categories