Feel like it's slipping away

Options
My motivation that is, my will to carry on, my belief that I can ever be anything but fat. Somehow I feel like I'm not meant to be beautiful, slim, and fit. I really want to be toned and gorgeous, and turn heads, but I don't know if that can ever happen. Do you think some people are just meant to be in the background, dull, there for others, but never having anything for themselves?
I feel so inadequate, the women, bar one, that I'm doing the c25k with are starting week 5 today and want to start with the 20 minute run, which I don't feel I can do yet, I just feel like I'm holding them all back. I'm on the same page as one of the ladies, which is great, but even she's faster than me. I'm really overweight and asthmatic, which is worse at this time of the year anyway, but I still feel like I should be faster.

I don't know what I need, a slap maybe, no idea.
«13

Replies

  • TXHunny84
    TXHunny84 Posts: 503 Member
    Options
    same here...
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
    Options
    You sounds SO down.

    You have done something amazing - you've decided to lose weight for yourself and your baby. More importantly, you've decided to exercise - which will make you so much healthier and happier.

    20 minutes is a long run. When I started running, my goal was to run just to the next street lamp. Then I walked to the next one. Then I ran the third. I didn't even do that until I had been walking for a while.

    All that matters is you START. One day at a time.

    The reason I have the fish on my counter is from Dora from Finding Nemo. Remember her motto: JUST KEEP SWIMMING JUST KEEP SWIMMING JUST KEEP SWIMMING.

    Good luck.
  • cathomer
    cathomer Posts: 88
    Options
    haha, that made me giggle, thank you, must remember that!

    Yes, it's only one run, it's meant to be the last one, we're currently running five minutes for the longest stretch. I'm doing really well, but most of the others are just so much fitter than me. I can run really well sometimes, but other times I get so out of breath, I'm not sure what determines how well I run, it's always the same time of night, I never eat first.

    keeping on swimming...
  • mynameiscarrie
    mynameiscarrie Posts: 963 Member
    Options
    if you compare yourself to others, you will always fall short. Stop doing that. Do this for yourself and if others are ahead then it is what it is. You need to be the best version of you, not anyone else. Feel better! You can do this!
  • Elen_Sia
    Elen_Sia Posts: 638 Member
    Options
    My motivation that is, my will to carry on, my belief that I can ever be anything but fat. Somehow I feel like I'm not meant to be beautiful, slim, and fit. I really want to be toned and gorgeous, and turn heads, but I don't know if that can ever happen. Do you think some people are just meant to be in the background, dull, there for others, but never having anything for themselves?
    I feel so inadequate, the women, bar one, that I'm doing the c25k with are starting week 5 today and want to start with the 20 minute run, which I don't feel I can do yet, I just feel like I'm holding them all back. I'm on the same page as one of the ladies, which is great, but even she's faster than me. I'm really overweight and asthmatic, which is worse at this time of the year anyway, but I still feel like I should be faster.

    I don't know what I need, a slap maybe, no idea.

    Truth? You are as beautiful and valuable as you choose to believe.
  • rrrbecca11
    rrrbecca11 Posts: 477
    Options
    Do ANYTHING but give up. If you give up, you'll never get ANYWHERE. I know you know this, but write it down and put it everywhere you can see it. Bathroom mirror, fridge door, dresser mirror...

    Do ANYTHING but give up.
  • Phaedra2014
    Phaedra2014 Posts: 1,254 Member
    Options
    My motivation that is, my will to carry on, my belief that I can ever be anything but fat. Somehow I feel like I'm not meant to be beautiful, slim, and fit. I really want to be toned and gorgeous, and turn heads, but I don't know if that can ever happen. Do you think some people are just meant to be in the background, dull, there for others, but never having anything for themselves?
    I feel so inadequate, the women, bar one, that I'm doing the c25k with are starting week 5 today and want to start with the 20 minute run, which I don't feel I can do yet, I just feel like I'm holding them all back. I'm on the same page as one of the ladies, which is great, but even she's faster than me. I'm really overweight and asthmatic, which is worse at this time of the year anyway, but I still feel like I should be faster.

    I don't know what I need, a slap maybe, no idea.

    Winning the mental battle is the biggest challenge in anything we take on in life. You're listening to your inner gremlin. Don't. It's just a self-defeating voice. Make yours louder and stay on track.
  • BeeRobin
    BeeRobin Posts: 160 Member
    Options
    My motivation that is, my will to carry on, my belief that I can ever be anything but fat. Somehow I feel like I'm not meant to be beautiful, slim, and fit. I really want to be toned and gorgeous, and turn heads, but I don't know if that can ever happen.

    First and foremost--you are beautiful. Your profile photo shows a beautiful young woman. If you are determined to loose weight, don't hold in your head some other idea of beauty. That's YOU now. Instead, think of how fit and healthy you will be.
  • lindsaycoil
    lindsaycoil Posts: 5 Member
    Options
    if you compare yourself to others, you will always fall short. Stop doing that. Do this for yourself and if others are ahead then it is what it is. You need to be the best version of you, not anyone else. Feel better! You can do this!

    ^^^^^^^^She is very smart!!
  • lkplibra
    lkplibra Posts: 147 Member
    Options
    I think the last thing you need is a slap, rather a hug would be better. Don't judge your self by others, but mark your progress with your self. I'm sure your health has improved as well as your time since you started your running. You are doing great. Don't be so hard on your self. You wouldn't let a friend talk to herself that way, be a decent friend and don't beat up a good person (you!)
  • JenMull44
    JenMull44 Posts: 226 Member
    Options
    haha, that made me giggle, thank you, must remember that!

    Yes, it's only one run, it's meant to be the last one, we're currently running five minutes for the longest stretch. I'm doing really well, but most of the others are just so much fitter than me. I can run really well sometimes, but other times I get so out of breath, I'm not sure what determines how well I run, it's always the same time of night, I never eat first.

    keeping on swimming...

    You have already lost 75 lbs......BRAVO !!! Keep running, one day you will be running and it will click and you will
    realize that you are doing it on your own and at your own pace.
    DONT GIVE UP !!!
  • bobthesmogs
    bobthesmogs Posts: 58 Member
    Options
    You're already beautiful!!!
    Please don't judge and compare yourself against others. There's always going to be someone slimmer, faster, smarter, funnier, or whatever .... that's just the way the world is.
    Try to start comparing yourself to how far you could run last year, last month etc and you'll see that you're improving.
    Stop whining and feeling sorry for yourself, cause you wont achieve anything that way, don't make excuses to alienate yourself from your exercise group. Just keep going, minute by minute, hour by hour, day by day! Make yourself a promise that when August 7th comes around next year, you'll be a better version of you!
    You've a gorgeous smile and beautiful children who are going to want you around for a long time. But most importantly do this for YOU!
  • MeanSophieCat
    MeanSophieCat Posts: 200 Member
    Options
    Asthma can be a BIG motivation killer. I really struggle with mine in the summer months. One thing I've found is helpful is to change my goals when my asthma is bad to ensure I don't lose motivation.

    October through May I can easily run 30+ minutes. June through September I have to run 5 minute intervals. When my asthma is bad I also change up my exercises to things that don't challege my breathing as much - like yoga or standard sets of weighlifting (with rest periods).

    You are meant to be whoever you want to be. We recreate ourselves every day.
  • lciupa
    lciupa Posts: 48
    Options
    Do ANYTHING but give up. If you give up, you'll never get ANYWHERE. I know you know this, but write it down and put it everywhere you can see it. Bathroom mirror, fridge door, dresser mirror...

    Do ANYTHING but give up.


    Buy the brightest sticky notes you can find, and post nice sayings everywhere you can! I had them on my fridge for a while< inside cupboards, bathroom mirror...you name it! I did this before I was trying to lose weight, I was just down in the dumps about some emotional things.
    It works, and if nothing else it brings a smile to your face about how crazy you must look to others!
  • marthathebear
    Options
    In your picture holding the baby, you are beautiful. I don't know why you would ever feel less than. Maybe you are just not ready for the next step in C25K. There is nothing wrong with taking it at your own pace. You can't really judge yourself by anyone else. Live your own life, exercise at your own pace and even if you fail, start over and NEVER QUIT. Each step is a victory in itself. Handle today's challenges today and face tomorrow when it gets here, that's all you can do. If you give up now you'll always wish you had kept going.
  • homerjspartan
    homerjspartan Posts: 1,893 Member
    Options
    My motivation that is, my will to carry on, my belief that I can ever be anything but fat. Somehow I feel like I'm not meant to be beautiful, slim, and fit. I really want to be toned and gorgeous, and turn heads, but I don't know if that can ever happen. Do you think some people are just meant to be in the background, dull, there for others, but never having anything for themselves?
    I feel so inadequate, the women, bar one, that I'm doing the c25k with are starting week 5 today and want to start with the 20 minute run, which I don't feel I can do yet, I just feel like I'm holding them all back. I'm on the same page as one of the ladies, which is great, but even she's faster than me. I'm really overweight and asthmatic, which is worse at this time of the year anyway, but I still feel like I should be faster.

    I don't know what I need, a slap maybe, no idea.

    (SMACK)
    "YOU CAN ACT LIKE A MAN"

    Sorry. Godfather was on this weekend. Seemed appropriate.

    I workout day in and day out with an ex-Navy guy who is stronger than me in every way. He gets faster gains, more definition, and better results and we do the exact same routine, take the same protien, and eat similar. I hate him.

    Everyone is different. The same exercise will have different effects on different people. Do your best and stay motivated. You are being healthy for you, not to keep up with someone else.

    :smile:
  • jbobb15
    jbobb15 Posts: 29 Member
    Options
    Its been a while since I've looked at the c25k program, but aren't you supposed to be able to walk 20 minutes without stopping before you begin the program? It's a great goal, and running has always been THE THING to help me incinerate calories. I whole heartedly believe its the way to go. And YOU CAN run a 5k! Make smart mini-goals to get to that point. If your group leaves you feeling lousy about yourself, then they aren't for you. Move on. Setting a realistic goal with un unrealistic timeline is the same thing as setting an unrealistic (aka unachievable goal.) And doing that will only injure your self-confidence further. I'm not saying you shouldn't push yourself, but your post sounds so defeated. I just want you to make smart goals and see you succeed.
  • azcout
    azcout Posts: 13
    Options
    Hang in there. This is a long journey. Some days feel terribly overwhelming. You are going to screw up. We all have times (at least I do) where we don't do things "the right way". It is ok though. If you make a mistake for a meal or for a day let it only be that. Get right back on the horse.

    MFP is amazing. I have tried everything and always just been fat. This program is really working though. I have a lot left to go but am really enjoying taking my life back. You will as well :)
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
    Options
    I feel the same way sometimes, but I just suck it up and keep at it. If I don't get skinny, at least I'll be more healthy.
  • ethompso0105
    ethompso0105 Posts: 418 Member
    Options
    @cathomer, you're beautiful and you have gorgeous children. Are we all meant to be slender and society's perception of "beautiful", no, not really. But that doesn't mean that we can't be gorgeous and wonderful in other ways. There's no need to "be in the background, dull, there for others, but never having anything for themselves"...this is YOUR life and you can chose to live it as you wish!

    For years I was a chubby wallflower because my perception was that people wouldn't like me because of my weight. I let my weight become who I was. A couple years ago I was given the opportunity to be the female romantic lead in a community theater musical. Those roles are typically left for the slender, "perfect" girls. When I thanked the director for the opportunity he told me that he hadn't even noticed my weight--rather, he saw that my personality and skills transcended that barrier.

    It was an act to start with, of course, but if you believe in yourself enough, then you will have the confidence to believe you're beautiful, and believe you're worth so much more. Take a look at yourself...notice what you love about you. Play those things up. Of course keep pushing yourself to do better, be better, but also take time to know that you're wonderful, just because you're you.

    "No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." -Eleanor Roosevelt

    :smile: Best of luck!