Not pregnant, just fat
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This has happened to me 4 times!
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Once was on my birthday, my boyfriend bought me a facial and I went in and laid down on the table and the lady said "You didn't fill out in the paper work that you are pregnant".... I said "im not" and during the entire facial I had to fight back tears.
WORST. BIRTHDAY. EVER.0 -
Totally understand. I had not seen a friend of mine for several months due to busy schedules. Apparently she saw me out someplace but did not say hello. She later saw my mom and asked her to tell me congrats. My mother asked her what she was congratulating me for. At the point the she told my mom to congratulate me on being preggers, my mother almost fainted. Mom thought I was preggers and had not told her. Needless today, later I got a very upset mother calling me, which turned into a very embarassed me. I hadn't even realized I had ained enough weight to be confused by a friend that I was preggers. *face palm* I am working on a new me now.... feeling better every day.
Feel free to add me if you need more support.0 -
This has become a running joke between my best friend and I because I get asked AT LEAST 1-2 times a month if I am pregnant. Its borderline ridiculous! You can look at my body and see I have extra weight....ugh, so annoying and awkward when I have to respond "Um, no". UGh....0
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I have been asked 3 times this year, once in a round-about way. A friend that I hadn't seen in a while went out of his way to come up to me to say "Congratulations," I said "for what?" He looked at me funny and said "for this beautiful day." I totally saw right through that but nice try.
The worst is when you are so dumbfounded that you don't even think to respond quick enough. One day at lunch time, I was in the elevator at work, with a plate of food (not a large plate of food either). We frequently have elevator issues in our building so you are always worried that you will get stuck in it. Of course it was also crowded, this lady says to me, "if we get stuck in here we can all share your lunch." Then as she goes to get off on her floor, turns to me and says "Good thing we didn't get stuck, I could never take food from a pregnant lady." How incredibly rude. I didn't get to respond because I was in shock.
Also had this happen to a coworker, a patient asked her when she was due. She said "No children for me," then the lady said "oh, well children are wonderful." My coworker being the smarty pants that she is says "It's not my choice."
I think the best solution for this epidemic of stupid, rude people is to make them feel so bad for asking.
Talk about motivation.0 -
You know girls, it's as much the fault of these awful shirts ya'll seem to be wearing (and I know it's all the stores sell). When a shirt is cinched below the shest and loose below, even a supermodel is gonna look like she has a bump.0
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You know girls, it's as much the fault of these awful shirts ya'll seem to be wearing (and I know it's all the stores sell). When a shirt is cinched below the shest and loose below, even a supermodel is gonna look like she has a bump.
I know what you mean - the empire waist is NO GIRL'S friend.
However, on the day of my "incident", I was wearing a dress with a cinched waist, which somehow makes the pregnant comment even worse!0 -
My mother's friend saw me on the street and went to talk to my mother so she could congratulate her on her new grandchild.
She was very confused at the time, until the woman explained to her that saw me on the street and I had a belly.
My mother made confiscated the dress I was wearing at the time, and I never saw it again! :laugh:
It wasn't the dress, of course...0 -
You know girls, it's as much the fault of these awful shirts ya'll seem to be wearing (and I know it's all the stores sell). When a shirt is cinched below the shest and loose below, even a supermodel is gonna look like she has a bump.
This is true. When I was pregnant, half my "maternity" shirts were just regular shirts because everything has that empire waist lately.
That being said, (((hugs))) to ALL of you ladies, and I hope you all use these hurtful experiences to fuel your fire and determination to get healthy and reach your goals!! I had some very hurtful comments when I was heavier, and I finally learned that even though you can't control other people's thoughtlessness, you CAN control your response to it. If you let it get you down and keep you down, they win. But if you use that experience to make yourself stronger, tougher, and fitter, YOU win. :flowerforyou:0 -
This happened to me once as well, at a friend's baby shower. I just brushed it off to all the blind old women having baby fever... but sadly, I know better. : ( I was drinking wine at the time and the lady was horrified. We all had a good laugh, and I pretended to be fine but so wasn't.
My new rule: never EVER ask a woman if she is pregnant unless you can see a foot sticking out.
I never ever ask anyone if they are pregnant unless they mention it first....0 -
This happened to me recently. My boyfriend and I went on a cruise to the Bahamas, and one night we attended the Captain's Dinner. We were dressed formally and I felt like we looked nice, so I asked someone to take some pictures. I posted them on facebook once we came back, and a woman that I used to babysit for emailed my boyfriend on FB. (I was logged on to his at the time). She said, congratulations! you look like yall had fun! i didn't know jessica was pregnant! ....
i just looked at the message and i said, she isn't pregnant...
I had never been so hurt in my life.0 -
OMG!
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Reading this gave me a great sense of camaraderie. I so feel for all of you. People can be so clueless--it is not polite to ask about a woman's reproductive habits in any case! I can't even count how many times I've been asked such things (almost always by other women)--even when I was in high school and swam for ~4 hours each day and was much thinner. I know I carry all of my weight in my chest and stomach, but still. The worst is when someone tries to give up their seat for me on the bus or train--that hurts the most because they are just trying to be polite. Usually I would just go home and cry after something like this happened, but the last time someone asked me, it really motivated me to take charge of my habits. I joined MFP shortly after.0
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Who ARE these people that ask such rude, personal things? I'm so sorry that happened to you, but you now know that you're not alone! The only time anyone said anything to me was two weeks after my first son was born. A coworker of mine saw me as I was going to see my Ob/Gyn and she asked, "when are you due?" I just laughed and said, "He's in the car seat. Born two weeks ago." I did not add, "dumba$$," but I wanted to. She was MORTIFIED. I actually thought it was funny.
I've had some very hurtful things said to me about my weight over the years. Feel free to add me...I'll be very supportive and can share some war stories with you. :flowerforyou:0 -
This has happened to me 4 times!(
Once was on my birthday, my boyfriend bought me a facial and I went in and laid down on the table and the lady said "You didn't fill out in the paper work that you are pregnant".... I said "im not" and during the entire facial I had to fight back tears.
WORST. BIRTHDAY. EVER.
Well... I guess I can now add #5 to my list. Just happened AGAIN 2 days ago( 0 -
Hello and welcome here. You can do anything you put your mind too. I hope you have a great day and feel free to add me if you wish.
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Got asked that question at Christmas by my husbands aunt. My response was "No just fat!!!" She said that her daughter has heard from someone that I was. Haha very funny!! Totally know where you are coming from. You can lose that weight. Seems we are trying for about the same goal, mine is 75 and I have lost 19 so far. Good Luck!0
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You are young, and you will lose fast...if you stay with it and I am sure you will....I look pregnant too, but, because I am pass that...no one would say that to me, they know I am alittle overweight.0
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bump0
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That happens to me a lot. It is embarrassing and hurtful! I'm happy that you have have lost 72 pounds! That's awesome!0
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This has happened to me twice... its pretty mortifyingly embarassing... yuck. Would love the support to! 0
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I've gotten asked that a few times too. My friend's mother put her hand on my belly and asked if I was expecting. I got super embarrassed and told her no. I think we were both pretty embarrassed at that point.
It sucks, it makes you feel bad but clearly it happens to a lot of women. Ya can't let it get to ya
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Aw, I'm so sorry you ladies have all had this horrible experience! There is a small comfort in knowing that other people have been there before too. For a really long time after I had my baby people at work were constantly asking me when the baby was due - this would happen several times a week. Eventually I got to the point where I'd be like "August"... and they'd give me this funny look because it'd be June or July and then I'd finish my sentence with, "of 2009!" I can empathize with the running into the breakroom/bathroom and bursting into tears!0
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Happened to me, too! So glad I'm not alone! It happened twice! Twice! I was working the front desk of a hotel and a guest I was checking in asks how I'm feeling. I reply 'okay' (with weird look) and then he asks when I'm due. I replied that I wasn't pregnant. He looked mortified and apologized. Another time it happened, also at the hotel, only a woman who asked. I blamed bad posture and promptly sucked in my stomach and stood up straight. Her response was to laugh and say she loved food, too and patted her stomach. LOL. And here I am, MFP. 6 pounds down, 34 more to go!0
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I think its a good idea to let the person know that you're NOT pregnant. They should feel embarrassed. I'm not sure I'm the only one that feels this way but I think its a kinda rude. Especially if they are just assuming you're pregnant. It's almost as bad as when someone asks you to guess their age. LOL!0
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An employee at a lunch spot I go to often said to me a couple weeks ago: "How exciting! I didn't know you were expecting!". There were at least five people within earshot at the time, and because I was too embarrassed to announce that I wasn't in fact pregnant - just fat - I just nodded and smiled, effectively lying about being pregnant.
I'm really going to miss eating there.
So... this reality check has helped me realize that I have, in fact, lost control of my weight, and it's time to get back on track!
I have lost about 6 lbs so far, and have a long way to go, but I feel good about it. Just making the decision to start and make changes was the hardest part for me so far. My first short-term goal is to lose 20 lbs by the end of October (so, 14 more to go).
If anyone is looking for a MFP buddy to help keep them accountable and motivated, and want to do the same for me, please feel free to add me!
Good luck everyone!
That happened to me a few months ago. I was at little gym with my 2 year old, and some 5 year old girl asked me if there was a baby in my belly. Im not sure her mom heard her but i was kinda offended, her mom called her over at that minute so i didnt have to answer. not sure if coincednence or mom heard it. but was pretty embarrassed.0 -
feel ur pain!0
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I'm so sorry that happened to you. I know how awful it feels! 22 pounds ago, a gentleman at my work asked me if I was pregnant. I smiled and said, "No, just fat."
After he walked away, I went to the break room and cried. I also never wore that shirt again! I will never EVER ask a woman if she is pregnant. If you are not 100% sure, you should not ask!
You can do this! I'll add you and give some encouragement. Good luck! Just let this make you stronger. And in a few months, go back to that lunch spot and show of your new and improved self!
I had this happen to me before as well. I donated that shirt to goodwill as soon as I got home from work.0 -
This has happened to me before. The first time was about a year after our son was born. We were at a party for a friend of my husband's & I was wearing a denim dress. My husband's friend comes up to us & says to my husband, "You didn't tell me your wife was pregnant again." My husband burst out laughing & I just walked away. Needless to say, we left soon the party soon after that because I was completely embarrassed. :huh:0
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Looks like it's happened to a lot of us! My husband and I adopted our two children, I was at my skinniest when my daughter was born and people were surprised to see me with a new baby. Fast forward 13 years and a nail tech asked me if I was pregnant . Again, "No, I'm just fat". I was mortified and so was she. I used to wonder what it would feel like to be pregnant but I don't want to look pregnant when I'm not!!0
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I have been asked this before as well, and i was only 17 at the time. I know that 17 year olds can and will become pregnant but i'm not one of those girls.
I was horrified, and i was ready to cry. Not only that i have had 2 other employees as me that, that i work with and i have had a guy customer ask me that as well.
I was so angry at them and myself for even looking as if i was pregnant.0
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