does anyone else ever feel so alone?

My husband is on board with me and pursuing fitness goals, and that helps tremendously. But for a long time he was not on the same page as me. As hard as that was, I continued to make our family favorites, just in new healthier ways. Heres the thing though... most of the time as women we hold the power, LOL! We do the grocery shopping! So, if all that is in your house is healthy food, they will have no choice but either starve (HA!) or eat healthy stuff. I know this is not rocket science but for me it was very enlightening.

Some people don't get it BUT it can be done one meal at a time. you will have good and bad days, try to remove yourself or eat before the pizza comes. fill up on the good stuff before you can eat the bad. You won't ave too much room for the bad. When to people around you see you are serious they will do one of 2 things. support you or start leaving you alone. when people stop drinking alcohol, the alcohol drinkers stop hanging out with the ex drinkers. I hope i said that right. LOL. I stopped ordering at work with people and eventually they stopped asking me. I know you feel alone, but you have to take the lead here for yourself. If the people around you care, eventually they will get it. let them know how much their support is appreciated. some times people are watching to see if you are serious or not. They are not going to make it easy. I work with the fattest people I have ever seen up close. I am not being mean just truthful. They order out all of the time. eat all day. Last Friday they actually brought ice cream, caramel, chocolate and strawberry syrup and sugar cone bowls in for sundaes, I was pissed, upset, and mad that I had to do the right thing for me. REMEMBER THE LETTERS F L A B. We tend to eat when we are Frustrated, Lonely,
angry or Bored. breathe, do something other than eat! you will be fine !!!!!

My husband is the same. He wants me to stop losing he says i have lost enough. It is hard cause i want to hear u look beautiful how u r but its your body. I wanna feel comfortable in my own skin. Which i currently do not. He is starting to try and workout some but not eat healthy like i am really trying very hard to do. I would b lost on this journey if it wasnt for mfp! So glad i have such amazing people on here going through the same thing.

There is a lot of support here, but I can imagine how difficult that must be for you. Maybe if he orders pizza get him to order half veggie and just have one piece. It's all about living in an overindulgent world and having balance. It's hard to find that balance, but it sounds like you have the determination. Also, I pray when I feel defeated. It helps. Good luck!

This is why I joined this site. Many times I have tried to get together with others locally to lose weight, who want to lose weight, and it doesnt seem to work out. There are some that skip diet to diet not understanding that unfortunately they are failing for one reason or another, or there wont be a yo yo issue. Plus, most dont want to hear my ideas because its eat right and stay active, not a pill, strict meal plan or spend loads of money, so I end up on my own, out of the loop.

Oh gosh, my heart was so sad to read your reply, but I too deal with depression and my eating goes up and down, depending on it.
One thing I like is that you aren't alone even though it may seem like it....your not alone....

I technically have "support" as in my parents buying my type of food (I still live at home), but emotional support was not only non existent, but it went as far as them intentionally putting me down. I can't say I always handled it gracefully and with maturity, but somehow I just ignored them. I'm pretty good at getting through things alone. Of course it still hurts, but you just have to push through. Now that my journey is over all is good

i doing it alone. i've told no one, not even my hubby. he can have his pizza etc and i'll have what i want, he knows i'm eating healthy but nothing more. i don't want to have to deal with the naysayers and the 'oh go one just a bit won't hurt' people. its odd but i'm enjoying having my own little secret, my lttle victorys over the scales, no one saying hows it going etc. for me doing it alone is a good thing, i know its not for everyone and there is some fantastic support on here.

My husband has his supportive days, but overall he does his own thing. Yes, I do the grocery shopping. However, he will go out for junk food in a heart beat. I can cook a nice healthy dinner and he'll stop for fast food on the way home. This is life. We've talked and this is where we are. So. We have an understanding-he doesn't get ME fast food unless I ask specifically for it. Which 99% of the time I don't. If he brings home chips or other junk food, then it's fair game for everyone, including the kids. If I find the bag or box open and find myself unable to resist it I will take it and throw it in the trash. The end effect is the same for him as if I'd eaten the whole thing. So he never knows which happened. Result-he keeps more of the opened containers in his office and away from me. (I can resist a closed container.)

On the other side, I try to keep healthy stuff around for me. I try to make it healthy stuff that I *really* like so I won't be jonesing for what he brings home. But if junk food starts singing it's siren song, I shut it up by throwing it out. Ah well.

A message for those wanting huge body transformations and lifestyle changes: Remember that this journey is something you will start alone......if you are hell fire bent on success know that the person to your left and to your right will fail.............You have to accept this and keep moving forward........You are all the support system that you need because you hold all the cards.........if you don't go workout its nobody's fault but your own that you didn't pull your big *kitten* off the couch and get it done!!!! In this journey there is no room for excuses......If you are like me I have spent a great deal of my life making them and regreting them. Its nice that people support what you are doing but know this.........a lot of them will talk **** about you when you walk away...........not because of what you are doing its because of what they are not doing! So that is the alone part............read it and know it WILL happen and when it does rejoice because you will know you are going in the right direction! A lifestyle change............its time to make some tough decisions.........I know there where a lot of people in my life that never made my life any easier..........These are the people that rolled there eyes when I said I can't go here or there because I was on a diet and needed to stay focused or told them I needed to go to the gym..........These are the people that now ask me OMG what are you doing to loss the weight............Inside I just smile knowing even if I told them what I have done to loss this much weight they will never really do anything with that information. A lot of these people I had to cut loose because there lifestyle was not condusive to mine........you will have to make a choice at some point about this..........some more drastic than others.........Knowing that if I have friends with the same goals and lifestyles in mind then my lifestyle change doesn't seem like a change anymore it seems normal. So to sum all this up: Misery loves company................and it is a lonely place at the top!!!!!!!! So find as many people as you can to hang out with you up there!!!!!

I know I can't be the only out there that is trying to reach fitness goals totally alone, and without support (other than from mfp pals). How do you deal with it? How do you handle feeling isolated from your family? I have had so many "heart to heart's" with my husband about trying to be more supportive, and what that means to me. He never really responds, and 10 minutes later is ordering pizza and wings. i know being healthy isn't important to him, but I would think supporting me would be important to him?

Anyway, this post isn't about relationship problems lol I'm just wondering how other people are able to stay so strong, dedicated, and so focused when everyone around them is tearing them down?

I've adapted the mindset - ALL OR NOTHING. I'm 100% focused on what I want to eat, and how I want to exercise. Everyone offers a lot of advice and opinions - I listen and smile politely, but ultimately do what works for me. When I cook for others, I always make my food separately. I do the type of exercise that works for me. Most people tell me I'm crazy, too strict, work-out too much or too hard, that I eat too much or too little.... and you know what? I'm getting in shape while they're still where they were a year ago. I've noticed the best of my friends being jealous and trying to sabotage me by baking my favorite cake or meeting me with a venti caramel mocchiato in their hand (my favorite) after I've said so many times I don't want those for a while. Guess what? I still pass it. I don't crave it. I don't want it. They've wasted their money and hopefully learned a lesson

BE SELFISH and put yourself first. I've tried pleasing everyone else and forgotten who I was as a result. Now I'm focused, determined... and wish the same for you

whiskeygemini put it beautifully!

I am alone, too. But not sad about it. If someone asks about the loss, I say I am eating healthy. As Whiskeygemini said, when someone asks, even if you told them what you did, they wouldn't be interested in it, really.

You have to realize this is your journey, no one else's. Whether they support you or not should not be that big of deal. Because what you are doing is for YOU after all! Sure its nice to have those you love dearly support you and encourage you. But truth of the matter is, many never truly will.
They have their own agendas.
Often friends, as well as spouses feel threatened when we make ourselves better people. Whether its when we quit smoking, or drinking and partying and they continue. Whether its that we choose to eat healthy/exercise/lose weight. They are afraid we will change, become better people and they will lose us in their lives. That is THEIR selfishness rooted in their own issues, and truly has nothing to do with us. Its their insecurities!!!!

When you feel down because you are not getting support, you might look within yourself to see why your own support of yourself isn't enough, and why you feel you need another persons support to validate what you are doing.

People do come and go in our lives, but the one who will never leave us, is ourself. We need to make our own self our biggest supporter. That isn't selfish, it isn't narcissistic, its called self preservation.....

Good luck to you!

This makes me sad but you're in the right place.

My husband wasn't really on board for the first few months until all MY healthier choices helped HIM to lose 15 pounds. Of course he SAYS he did that. I know it's my change in shopping habits---no junk, more real foods and if I want dessert I have to make it...which usually means I don't eat dessert much..hahaha.

Give it time, maybe he will see this as an investment in yourself.

(Also eating better saved us money since we can fit in our clothes again!)

Good luck, feel free to add me. I'm here daily.

I have the same feeling. Even though my husband and my family try to be supportive. And I thank them for that, but I am mainly alone. I just recently started to add friends and it has helped me a lot!

Some people don't get it BUT it can be done one meal at a time. you will have good and bad days, try to remove yourself or eat before the pizza comes. fill up on the good stuff before you can eat the bad. You won't ave too much room for the bad. When to people around you see you are serious they will do one of 2 things. support you or start leaving you alone. when people stop drinking alcohol, the alcohol drinkers stop hanging out with the ex drinkers. I hope i said that right. LOL. I stopped ordering at work with people and eventually they stopped asking me. I know you feel alone, but you have to take the lead here for yourself. If the people around you care, eventually they will get it. let them know how much their support is appreciated. some times people are watching to see if you are serious or not. They are not going to make it easy. I work with the fattest people I have ever seen up close. I am not being mean just truthful. They order out all of the time. eat all day. Last Friday they actually brought ice cream, caramel, chocolate and strawberry syrup and sugar cone bowls in for sundaes, I was pissed, upset, and mad that I had to do the right thing for me. REMEMBER THE LETTERS F L A B. We tend to eat when we are Frustrated, Lonely,
angry or Bored. breathe, do something other than eat! you will be fine !!!!!

Honestly this is the best advice anyone could give you. If you need anyone to talk to about it then just do exactly what you are doig right now Talking through it and understanding that you are not alone with these problems will help you get through it. Best wishes :flowerforyou: