How soon is too soon?

Foxypoo61287
Foxypoo61287 Posts: 638 Member
in Chit-Chat
to say I love you? I have a friend who has been with her boyfriend, maybe 3 weeks. Last week they were already using the 3 words. I love you. Is there no meaning to that word anymore? I understand that you can care about someone deeply. I LOVE my daughter. I have a boyfriend, I CARE about him a lot. But I don't see myself saying I love you that soon especially first (Never have been the first one) My ex even proposed after being with me for 1 month. I don't think that you know a person well enough to know if you LOVE them that soon. What was the soonest you or your loved one said I love you, and how long did it last after that?
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Replies

  • doomspark
    doomspark Posts: 228 Member
    The first time I saw my wife, I was smitten. 17 years later, we're still together, and I'm still madly in love with her.
  • bennysammysofie
    bennysammysofie Posts: 331
    so sappy...and stupid for them...but im sure its puppy love so throw out the rules!
    Funny story about me once. I was dating a girl for about a month or so and she invited me to her moms wedding. I went and at one point the person conducting the wedding told everyone to hold the hands of their significant other. So, even though I felt weird about it and feeling even more weird that she was up next to her mom, I went up and held her hand. I then hear the words, "Face the person you love, look them in the eyes, and tell them how much you love them." Well...I told her, "I like you alot"....I was so embarassed!
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    depends on whether carnal pleasures have taken place. but I always say use the words within 7 years of meeting a woman.
  • RealWomenLovePitbulls
    RealWomenLovePitbulls Posts: 729 Member
    I do think that people throw the word around way too often and way too fast.
    on the other side of that, sometimes you just know it's right.
    I met my husband when I was 17, I had "dated" a few guys but nothing serious cuz it just wasn't there.
    Then I met Jeff, when he first asked me to go out with him, I was kinda like " i dunno" I told my mom "there's this guy at works, he wants to go out, he's okay, but he kind of gets on my nerves" she said "you'll marry him"
    a couple weeks later, I was head over heels. the love word came out, but it just felt so natural, it actually sorta slipped out.
    he did try to propose a few months later, and i told him it was too soon, we didnt even really know each other and were too young to think about marriage yet anyway.
    (shoulda took him up on it, cuz it took us 4 more years to get engaged, even though we were living together and we did plan to get married eventually, just hadnt made it official)
    2 and 1/2 more years later (7.5 years after we started dating) we tied the knot!
    We have been married a little over a year now, and i'm still head over heels!!!
    point is, sometimes you just know, and other times it's just the initial infatuation
  • Pedal_Pusher
    Pedal_Pusher Posts: 1,166 Member
    Why would you care?
  • Jules2Be
    Jules2Be Posts: 2,238 Member
    Why would you care?

    :flowerforyou:
  • LeenaRuns
    LeenaRuns Posts: 1,309 Member
    When you know, you know. I'm in love with someone on MFP and he knows it :blushing:
  • cordianet
    cordianet Posts: 534 Member
    Did you love your daughter the moment you laid eyes on her or did it take 6 months?
  • mandydanyele
    mandydanyele Posts: 121
    Why would you care?

    This :/
  • 2143661
    2143661 Posts: 566 Member
    When you know, you know. I'm in love with someone on MFP and he knows it :blushing:

    exactly!
  • Allie_71
    Allie_71 Posts: 1,063 Member
    Why would you care?

    Exactly. It's pretty subjective. Some people can feel it right away, and feel comfortable saying it, or some need to wait. It's a profound feeling and emotion that is so different for everyone...
  • Ohmydaze
    Ohmydaze Posts: 403 Member
    3 days. I was 14, and I dumped him then, because he scared me a little. He cried.

    Current BF.. well we SAID it after about 4 months.. but looking back, I don't think I knew what love really was. I cared about him a lot, but I think love is word that is tossed around far too casually. He's my first love :smooched:
  • apedeb09
    apedeb09 Posts: 805 Member
    I said I love you to my husband 2 weeks after I started dating him when I was 14 in Highschool... that was 9 years ago. We're still together.
  • yankeesforever
    yankeesforever Posts: 14
    If you really love someone, it is never too soon (or too late) to tell them. When it comes to love, the greatest gift of all, there is never a wrong time for the truth.
  • Tors1984
    Tors1984 Posts: 25
    My husband and I said we loved each other within about 2 weeks. Today we have been together 6.5 years and we've been married 2 years next Wednesday!
  • Sharyn913
    Sharyn913 Posts: 777 Member
    Who can know EXACTLY what love is? How often are people together for years, and after they break up and find someone new, they will claim they didn't know what love was until meeting the new person? Love is a feeling that comes and goes and it's hard to pin point exactly how it is felt.
  • WowingOverWhinging
    WowingOverWhinging Posts: 59
    Why would you care?

    Did you consider that she's talking about her friend and may be concerned about her? It's not a crime to be curious about something.

    I have a friend who practically did the same thing. She's dating this guy and within the space of a month and a half she'd gotten her first boyfriend, lost her virginity, said I love you, had a pregnancy scare AND moved in with him - key and everything. Now, in that case, that's too fast. I don't see how people can say I love you that fast, especially when they have no other relationships to compare it against. Most are just in love with the idea of love. Depending on the situation for your friend, I guess it's up to her really as long as she's happy and tactful.
  • sho3girl
    sho3girl Posts: 10,799 Member
    The first time I saw my wife, I was smitten. 17 years later, we're still together, and I'm still madly in love with her.
    ^^^ this SO needs a massive LIKE button
  • amandajam2012
    amandajam2012 Posts: 82
    I said "I love you" to my current bf after only three weeks of dating. Actually it slipped out. I called him a dork or something and he goes "why did you call me a dork" and my response was "you're a dirk because I love you". I immediately started blushing and I covered my mouth. He gave me a hard time and was like "awe you
    Love me I knew you'd say it first" I was embarrassed bc I didn't mean to say it but as I thought about it I knew I meant it. The next night we were watching tv and he leaned over and whispered I love you too in my ear. I was afraid i was imagining things so u didn't say anything back. And finally the next night laying in bed I said I love u to him and he said it back. We are one if those couples that have pretty much been inseparable since our first date. Most people think we have moved way to fast. But I mean who is to but a time scale on these things. Only we know what's in our hearts and our heads.
  • Krissy366
    Krissy366 Posts: 458 Member
    If you really love someone, it is never too soon (or too late) to tell them.

    This. And the reality is there are many degrees of love. I have never loved two people in exactly the same way or for exactly the same reasons. Does the fact that my love isn't always the same mean that the love didn't count before? Love is complex, and sometimes it does happen VERY quickly, sometimes it grows slowly. Sometimes is last forever and sometimes it fades, but that doesn't mean it isn't real.
  • LonLB
    LonLB Posts: 1,126 Member
    Never.....Until they do, and you feel the same way.
  • debussyschild
    debussyschild Posts: 804 Member
    Those words entered my husband's and my relationship about 2 months in. We were having a ball drinking rum boogies and hanging out with his family. We rolled in the snow on the way back to where we were staying. If rolling in the snow together isn't love, I don't know what is! LOL Been together almost 4 years, married for about 1.5 of them. I wouldn't say we rushed anything. It is possible to know that you love someone that early on. What bothers me is when people try to apply arbitrary and ridiculous time tables to love. Love doesn't follow a schedule, so don't try to make it. :heart:
  • legs_n_bacon
    legs_n_bacon Posts: 478 Member
    I think, maybe, everyone is different, what is right for them may not be right for you? I don't know...
  • dodihere
    dodihere Posts: 490
    After talking on the phone for three weeks before we decided to meet, my husband said he knew he was going to marry me. Three weeks after we met he told me he loved me. We married a year later. I am 39 years old and WAY too mature for stupid, cutesy, over emotional type of love. And I did it anyway.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
    My husband and I fell in love before he ever worked up the courage to ask me out. 4 years and one child later, we love each other more and more each day.

    Don't hate on your friend just because it takes you longer to love.
  • hongruss
    hongruss Posts: 389 Member
    Did you love your daughter the moment you laid eyes on her or did it take 6 months?

    Six months & then only in certain light Bwahaha.

    Russ
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    Who cares if they're using the "L" word. How does it effect your life?

    Every one is different. Some people say it immediately. Some people it takes months or even years to say it. Just because one couple decides that they're in love within three weeks of meeting (hell people get married within weeks of meeting each other!) doesn't mean they're "throwing the word around" and that it has "no meaning".

    Chill out and be happy for them. They aren't causing you or anyone else any harm by saying they love each other so why get your panties in a bunch over it? It has nothing to do with you.
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    Did you love your daughter the moment you laid eyes on her or did it take 6 months?

    I think that's different. Parental love and romantic love are not the same thing.

    To answer your question, my bf said it after 2 months. I thought it was the right time. Different strokes for different folks though. :)
  • shammxo
    shammxo Posts: 1,432 Member
    I think that those are feelings that take awhile to develop. I've been with my boyfriend (officially) for only a few weeks. But we've been seeing one another for a couple of months. He told me that he loves me, and I didn't say it back.

    I don't know. I think that initially when you're in the honeymoon phase, there are strong feelings but they aren't necessarily 'love'.

    Love stays. Infatuation is superficial.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Love is a very intense emotion. It occurs at different levels. The problem is that "I love you!" is a term that is implied for all types of love. I have said "I love you" to my ex-husband (when we were married), my parents, my children, my boyfriends, my friends, people I work with, teachers I had in high school, people I went to church with... yada yada yada!

    Romantic love also has different levels at different times. Just because they said it early doesn't mean that they aren't in love and it doesn't mean that it is forever. I think people have to understand these things when they say that to someone.

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