Scared to be thin

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  • MissShancey
    MissShancey Posts: 464
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    I feel like i keep sabotaging my self because im scared to reach my goals
  • WaterBunnie
    WaterBunnie Posts: 1,370 Member
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    Yes I am too but have set my goal to chubby rather than fat and hope I'll be happy there rather than becoming someone I've never been. I also figure my skin will fit me better if I don't try to go all the way!
  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,326 Member
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    doesnt sound ridiculous to me. there was a period of time when i was in shape thin and at my goal weight. i gained weight for very specific psychological reasons (using the extra weight as a cushion between me and other people, especially men because i used to get a lot of unwanted and unsafe attention). now i'm slowly becoming ready to release that cushion.

    part of the reason why i'm OK with going the slow route and taking my time to shedding the weigh is because i know it's going to take about that amount of time for me to gradually let go of those fears.
  • JB5349
    JB5349 Posts: 135 Member
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    I am so with you - although I have only managed to lose 29 with MFP I have lost 50 in total. I have been helping my mother out alot and every time I see her she keeps saying that she can not believe I am losing so much weight. I know she is trying to encourage me but I hear something different. I know that I do the same thing as well with the sabotage. I have wanted to be under 210 lbs for such a long time that when I finally did get under 210 lbs I have been eating like crazy ever since and I have gained again. Very discouraging and frustrating at the same time. I just can not seem to stop sabotaging myself.

    I keep hoping that this time it will be different. My goal for today is to just get through without eating over my calories and for the rest I will try to deal with that tomorrow.
  • shorty35565
    shorty35565 Posts: 1,425 Member
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    I've been doing this almost a year and I'm 57lbs down. I am SO ready to be thin! But at the same time, I'm scared. I'm scared of how much loose skin I will have. That scares me so much that sometimes I cry about it. Because I don't want an abomination for a stomach :(
  • stagegoddess
    stagegoddess Posts: 101 Member
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    i've gotten down to just above 200# twice in the past few years (having been about 175# & 5'10 previously) and both times sabotaged myself into gaining back 30-40# each time.....soooooooooo not cool. its bc i see how good i look/feel and only want attention on my call. i take a short break from my workouts/eating right then it becomes never.

    this is the first time i've sought help for weight loss and i'm really glad i did bc i finally feel like i have a support system and tools at my disposal and i'm realizing when i emotionally eat and splurge too much. i usually work 2 jobs back to back and never have time for friends/family so whenever i do have free time i see each interaction as a reason to celebrate--which means making bad eating choices. so no more. being aware of my actions and their consequences is really helpful.

    so thank you MFP and everyone else on here who is opening up and sharing, it really does help me and i feel different this time around loosing weight and taking control of my life.
  • ctwm84
    ctwm84 Posts: 31 Member
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    I am worried about how it may change my relationship with my husband. We have a great marriage, but I have always been overweight the entire time we have been together. Some men get really insecure when their spouses lose weight, and become jealous and paranoid and start trying to sabotage them to make them fat again. On the flip side, what happens if I lose the weight and want to do more active things that he doesnt want to do and I end up wanting to spend a lot less time with him becaue my interests may change and not include him. My husband is normal weight but he has bad knees and a bad shoulder and is not a go out and "play hard" kind of guy.
  • lacewitch
    lacewitch Posts: 766 Member
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    i self sabotage as soon as people notice me / my weight loss. i have something inside me that doesnt believe i can be attractive or that i don't deserve to be

    so at least once a week i try this:

    today. i am going to enjoy my awesomeness! (this is my challenge for the day)
    I put on nice clothes ( that i couldn't fit into previously. I do my hair and put on make up and i am going to feel fab all day. it doesn't matter if someone comments or not because today it's all about me!
    if they have a compliment I am going to smile and say thanks as meaning fully as possible and then I am going to make sure that i accept that compliment i my head! I am going to accept it not get embarrassed by it
    and if no one makes a comment that's great to because the people around me a accepting the new me and it has become normal - this is the new me and it's not going to change!

    and i'm doing this because i AM going to get healthy i AM going to get toned and I deserve to think that i am attractive ( irrelevant of other peoples opinions) and be happy with myself- i AM NOT going to sabotage myself again. so i have to change, shut up that inner voice that tells me i can't or there is no point or to give up.

    every time i get self doubts i am trying to find one thing I like about the new me! i.e. i can touch my toes, i can hang upside down of a poledancing pole etc. nothing to do with how i look but something GOOD!
    or i just tell myself to shut up and do something i enjoy ( phone a firend, get a manicure, whatever)

    i am still not good at this: i have been loosing the same 10lb for 2 years, but i have lost it and this time i am going to work on the next 10 even though i am starting to get comment s on the street!
  • cathomer
    cathomer Posts: 88
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    I think I'm kinda scared of not meeting my expectations when I get there, as long as I'm fat I feel I've got some excuse for being rubbish, but if I'm still rubbish when I'm slim then I'll be scared that it's just who I am.
    I'm also scared that I'll never get there, that I'll lose some, put it back on, and I'll just keep on like that, never getting thin.
  • lacewitch
    lacewitch Posts: 766 Member
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    today. i am going to enjoy my awesomeness! (this is my challenge for the day)
    I have put on nice clothes ( that i couldn't fit into previously. I have done my hair and put on make up and i am going to feel fab all day. it doesn't matter if someone comments or not because today it's all about me!
    if they have a compliment I am going to smile and say thanks as meaning fully as possible and then I am going to make sure that i accept that compliment i my head! I am going to accept it not get embarrassed by it
    and if no one makes a comment that's great to because the people around me a accepting the new me and it has become normal - this is the new me and it's not going to change!

    and i'm doing this because i AM going to get healthy i AM going to get toned and I deserve to think that i am attractive ( irrelevant of other peoples opinions) and be happy with myself- i AM NOT going to sabotage myself again. so i have to change, shut up that inner voice that tells me i can't or there is no point or to give up.

    i am not married, and i am just offering some thoughts
    but you could sign up for a challenge such as a 5k and get him to support you and then have a healthy picnic together after.

    it sounds very un-romantic but schedule things - so if you work out Wednesday after work ask if it's ok to have a late dinner so you can eat together or have wednight as fitness/ your won time and have thursday as date night and do something you wouldn't normally do even if it's just sitting on the porch and watching the stars

    maybe you could find an exercise he could do - swimming or cycling may not be that hard on his knees and if you start gradually together - obviously i don't know here what the issue is but maybe you could talk to a doctor and get some exercises you can do together ?
    the final thing and possibly the hardest ( for me anyway)
    have you talked to him about your fears?
  • PSGPolly
    PSGPolly Posts: 868 Member
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    I am so glad you posted this question! I have lost 130 pounds and am at my lowest weight in 30 years. In the past the fear has lead me to sabotage the weight loss journey and I'm still not confident it won't happen again. I love being fitter, healthier and able to do things normal people take for granted but I'm also scared so much of the time and don't know who I am anymore. My head has not caught up with my body.

    I've hit a plateau and that makes it harder as I am also so scared of going back to my old half life. But I want to see this as a positive- an opportunity to learn some more so that I can conquer those demons that lead me down a really destructive path, and to learn these things before I reach goal weight.

    I am really grateful for the support I have received and think that is one of the major keys to my success so far. Can I get to goal weight and more important, can I maintain my weight loss? I still don't know. Life is tough at times but so much more difficult when I was in the obese range.
  • hanneberries
    hanneberries Posts: 119 Member
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    I kinda am.

    I've never been thin in my whole life, so, when I get there, it's going to be strange. I hope that confidence comes with it.
  • tinchick
    tinchick Posts: 59 Member
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    This may sound utterly ridiculous considering the site I am posting this one but...
    Is anyone else slightly (a lot) scared of being thin and reaching their goals?

    I've been at this weight loss thing seriously for about 3 years, in that time I've lost 28lbs and kept it off, I'd like to loose another 28lbs by this time next year. I've been obese since I was about 4years old and so the concept of being thin is completely alien to me, I'm genuinely scared of the thought. Anyone else?

    Tasha x

    I'm with you on that. I've been overweight for about ten years (or a little less than half of my life), so there is a part of me that is scared to finally lose the weight and be thin. It's just such a foreign concept. Also, there is a certain amount of safety in staying bigger; it is the comfort zone. But I just have to keep thinking that it's ok to be scared, but I can't let that stop me from my goals.

    If you keep doing what you've done, you'll keep getting what you've gotten.
  • nicholettebell
    nicholettebell Posts: 414
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    Been there! Actually, I'm still kind of there. I've been overweight since I was 12 so being fat was all I ever knew. When I first tried to do the "losing weight" thing, I lost 50 lbs and people were starting to notice. That really freaked me out. I was always one to hide in the background, praying no one would look at me. Well, I quickly gained 30 lbs back. At that time I was really beating myself up over it. I thought, "Why do I care what others think about me or even if they look at me. I'm doing this for ME. Not them." So, I did it. I still can't quite gauge how big/small I am. But I've read that it takes years for the mind to finally catch up to the body. Now I am concerned if I can maintain the loss. I'm hoping that being constantly aware of what I eat and how I exercise will help with the continued success.

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