Significant other NOT supportive about weight loss?

rocksyraeis
rocksyraeis Posts: 194
in Health and Weight Loss
hey so im 22yrs old im 5'1 and i was recently 125 pounds, ive always had a self confidence issue after i gave birth well i immediatly started a weight loss regimen and an exercise program ive been doing it for over a year now i started out excellent losing about 1-11/2 pounds a week well then my boyfriend decides that instead of wanting me to cook healthy tacos and pizza were our diet so i gained about 10 back then we moved into our house.

When we moved it was winter and i decided i wanted a bikini body again like my before prego body, ive since lost about 5 pounds gained it back and am now at a 7pound loss and still losing this morning he decided to tell me i wasnt eating enough i have about 1200-1300 calories a day and that i was gonna end up in the hospital and blah blah blah. I dont understand why he iant supportive dont most guys want their partner to be in shape? He also give me FAR more attention sexually wise then he used too! When we met i was 112 pounds and he was always all over me after i gained 60 with pregnancy he would say i was beautiful but wasnt nearly as touchy i dont get it! Ok rant over! Anyone else have this?

Replies

  • stfriend
    stfriend Posts: 256 Member
    What is your exercise like? Also, if you have a new baby, that can put a damper on romance and it might have nothing to do with weight. The way I see, too, if I'm cooking we eat how I want to eat (healthy). If he's cooking I usually have to make a few adjustments to my meal but he's getting better.
  • summer_cici
    summer_cici Posts: 24 Member
    My boyfriend says he doesn't mind what I look like or how heavy I am. And he is very supportive when I am trying to do something about it.

    BUT I could tell that he would get annoyed about me going on about my body issues and problems with my weight. So I decided to actually do something and start watching what I eat ect. and using the community aspect on MFP I feel like I can ask fitness questions and talk about the things that would just otherwise annoy/bore the bf lol.

    Maybe your other half notices your anxiety about your image and in turn that makes him feel uncomfortable. Also, I read that in relationships people can get lazy and slip into habbits such as ordering fast food and cooking convenient but less healthy stuff. I'm trying to work on this at the moment haha! But good luck to you!! x
  • rocksyraeis
    rocksyraeis Posts: 194
    What is your exercise like? Also, if you have a new baby, that can put a damper on romance and it might have nothing to do with weight. The way I see, too, if I'm cooking we eat how I want to eat (healthy). If he's cooking I usually have to make a few adjustments to my meal but he's getting better.

    I NEVER do the samethings everyday i base my exercise on my calories i never burn less then 200 a day Cardio boxing is my favorite i know the baby might of had something to do with it but now shes 19mo has her own room and is very independent (more then her own good recommends haha!) he LOVES me in shape i can see it but i dont understand why he is almost against it at the same time.
  • rocksyraeis
    rocksyraeis Posts: 194
    My boyfriend says he doesn't mind what I look like or how heavy I am. And he is very supportive when I am trying to do something about it.

    BUT I could tell that he would get annoyed about me going on about my body issues and problems with my weight. So I decided to actually do something and start watching what I eat ect. and using the community aspect on MFP I feel like I can ask fitness questions and talk about the things that would just otherwise annoy/bore the bf lol.

    Maybe your other half notices your anxiety about your image and in turn that makes him feel uncomfortable. Also, I read that in relationships people can get lazy and slip into habbits such as ordering fast food and cooking convenient but less healthy stuff. I'm trying to work on this at the moment haha! But good luck to you!! x


    He does get annoyed when i talk about my issues with myself...what a sweet thought :) thankyou
  • jealous_loser
    jealous_loser Posts: 395
    Sometimes they don't get it.

    My boyfriend is trying to support me, but he keeps saying I look great. Not that he is complaining about what I have lost. Some guys think that weight loss is a chick thing and they don't understand the body issues their ladies have.
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
    Sounds like he loves you and is worried.

    It can be scary when someone loses a lot of weight really fast. He may also be thinking of you as a mom now and not as a sexy lady.

    Or he may be afraid of losing you.

    Smile. Be reassuring. Show him all the healthy stuff you're eating. And kiss him so he has to stop talking!
  • oOMusicBabii
    oOMusicBabii Posts: 494
    I think he is feeling your insecurities and doesn't know how to respond.

    Mine tells me how much he loves me now (more of me to love) and how sexy I am now but is also excited and supportive of me losing weight (looking forward to super sexy me and being more in shape to kick his butt at all the active stuff we do).

    I think maybe you guys should sit down and talk about it...it's definitely bothering both of you.
  • laurenw1992
    laurenw1992 Posts: 62
    Sounds like he loves you and is worried.

    It can be scary when someone loses a lot of weight really fast. He may also be thinking of you as a mom now and not as a sexy lady.

    Or he may be afraid of losing you.

    Smile. Be reassuring. Show him all the healthy stuff you're eating. And kiss him so he has to stop talking!

    Love this, try not to get angry with him when he's being like this. Let him say his piece and try to explain it rationally, men are confusing sometimes!

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