over protective parents

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  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Opinion:

    They should've discussed their child rearing ideology before having children. They'll never mesh if they don't find a common ground. Very confusing for kids.

    The kid is his step kid.......his wife wants him involved but only just enough to say she has a father figure

    Oh no no no no no. NOOOOOOO. Don't make me get on my soapbox about this.


    Sidebar: These are your friends. What's it to you how they raise their kid?


    He's my friend from childhood, and I go thru much of wht he does because I have a step daughter.

    Little advice. Biology is ALWAYS going to trump your desire to be the girl's father figure. ALWAYS! Let mom have her way when she insists. My ex just can't get a handle on that because he thinks I am just doing it so wrong! I don't care what he thinks anymore. They are my kids and I will raise them my way by myself if I have to.
  • RocketsGirl
    RocketsGirl Posts: 346 Member
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    Opinion:

    They should've discussed their child rearing ideology before having children. They'll never mesh if they don't find a common ground. Very confusing for kids.

    The kid is his step kid.......his wife wants him involved but only just enough to say she has a father figure

    and there is the problem. she will never change and will probably never see him as her child real father.
  • healthychanges1
    healthychanges1 Posts: 110
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    There is such a thing as over protective parenting. My parents were super overprotective and it caused me to rebel in every way possible. In the end, my parents loosened up and I calmed down. They learned from me (their first kid) and raised my sister differently and she respects their boundaries. Every kid is different, but I don't think over protective is beneficial in any case.

    I was the same way as u.....I told him to just back off, and if the kid acts out his wife will come to him for help. Being a step parent is hard!!!!

    Yeah, I guess it's "her" kid and therefore her parenting style. I wish that little girl luck! And I wish her parents luck too if she turns out anything like I did, haha. :drinker:
  • BIG_Lew
    BIG_Lew Posts: 513 Member
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    Opinion:

    They should've discussed their child rearing ideology before having children. They'll never mesh if they don't find a common ground. Very confusing for kids.

    The kid is his step kid.......his wife wants him involved but only just enough to say she has a father figure

    How would you know that's what she wants or is doing?? Seems a bit of a leap...


    We communicate regularly. Because we both are going thru similar situations
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    Really seems like Baby Boomers were much better parents than the current crop.

    I slept over at a friend's house when I was 3. She slept over at mine. No one ever got hurt.

    Can't believe how paranoid people are. When the kid is 18 and steps outside of the glass house, they're screwed.
  • TheirEllie82
    TheirEllie82 Posts: 162 Member
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    The first time my son went to spend the night with a friend their dog bit him and he ended up in the hospital for 3 days. I had been to the person's house multiple times and my son knew their dog well and it was an unprovoked attack (I know because I was there)...needless to say I understand the mother's fear because he hasn't spent the night anywhere other than with family and he is now 8
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
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    I let my son have sleep overs. I don't let him sleep out. I know what goes on in my house. I have no idea what goes on in anyone else's.

    Good things his friend's parents aren't over protective or they wouldn't be allowed over at your house and your son would never have anyone to play with.

    With young kids it is important to know their friend's parents so you can allow your child to experience some freedom. Growing up my friends and I were constantly over at each other's houses all the time because our parents knew each other. There is no reason it can't be the same today.

    And once the kids get older (teenagers), at some point we need to be able to trust them. Will they get hurt and make stupid decisions? Yes, but that is how we learn. We need to let our kids learn through experience as well.

    Right because sleep overs at 7 are a vital part of growing up. And playing during the hours of the day when he is awake doesn't count? What will happen to my child if he's not allowed to sleep at someones house. Oh NO!!!! He's 7. Lots of **** could happen to a 7 year old. He isn't 14. But hey, you raise yours how you want and I will raise mine how I want. Thanks. :drinker:
  • BIG_Lew
    BIG_Lew Posts: 513 Member
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    Really seems like Baby Boomers were much better parents than the current crop.

    I slept over at a friend's house when I was 3. She slept over at mine. No one ever got hurt.

    Can't believe how paranoid people are. When the kid is 18 and steps outside of the glass house, they're screwed.

    Soooooo Tru!!!!
  • stfriend
    stfriend Posts: 256 Member
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    To answer the question about overprotectiveness. At 7 my kids were allowed to sleepover at the houses of their grandparents or other relatives (well known). If they had a friend who's parents we knew we would have allowed that. Now that they are 12 they have more freedom. They have a close group of friends that trade off on the sleepovers and we're good with that. Our kids also know, however, to call home if they need to and they know what is or isn't appropriate behavior from adults. If they didn't, sleepovers would be out. I think you have to be somewhat overprotective but not forever.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Really seems like Baby Boomers were much better parents than the current crop.

    I slept over at a friend's house when I was 3. She slept over at mine. No one ever got hurt.

    Can't believe how paranoid people are. When the kid is 18 and steps outside of the glass house, they're screwed.

    Absolutely agree with you here. We are supposed to be teaching these kids how to be independent, functioning adults! Refusing to let them leave your side is only going to keep them at your side. Coincidentally, that relative that I mentioned has a 19-yo shut-in for a daughter.
  • jhigg11
    jhigg11 Posts: 121 Member
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    I am super overprotective when it comes to my kids spending the night at other peoples houses. I have a tight circle of friends that I have gotten to know, and we allow our children to spend the night. I wouldn't let my kid spend the night at someones house I don't know or have just met. Maybe it's because I watch the news, or know a few people who's children have been victimized, I just don't want my children to ever experience anything so life altering. My daughter is 7, she is be no means capable of fending off someone, or able to get herself out of a bad situation.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    Really seems like Baby Boomers were much better parents than the current crop.

    I slept over at a friend's house when I was 3. She slept over at mine. No one ever got hurt.

    Can't believe how paranoid people are. When the kid is 18 and steps outside of the glass house, they're screwed.

    Absolutely agree with you here. We are supposed to be teaching these kids how to be independent, functioning adults! Refusing to let them leave your side is only going to keep them at your side. Coincidentally, that relative that I mentioned has a 19-yo shut-in for a daughter.
    The sad part is, I'm a part of Gen Y. I was just raised by baby boomers.
    Don't even get me started on the whole "spanking is abuse" garbage.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
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    Opinion:

    They should've discussed their child rearing ideology before having children. They'll never mesh if they don't find a common ground. Very confusing for kids.

    The kid is his step kid.......his wife wants him involved but only just enough to say she has a father figure

    How would you know that's what she wants or is doing?? Seems a bit of a leap...


    We communicate regularly. Because we both are going thru similar situations

    You and HIM do... not you and her (based on what you've said). You're getting one side of the story.
  • MassiveDelta
    MassiveDelta Posts: 3,311 Member
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    Prophylactic Parents!
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    I am super overprotective when it comes to my kids spending the night at other peoples houses. I have a tight circle of friends that I have gotten to know, and we allow our children to spend the night. I wouldn't let my kid spend the night at someones house I don't know or have just met. Maybe it's because I watch the news, or know a few people who's children have been victimized, I just don't want my children to ever experience anything so life altering. My daughter is 7, she is be no means capable of fending off someone, or able to get herself out of a bad situation.

    I can understand that. But you have people that you can trust. I'm not suggesting that I would ever let my daughter go to a total stranger's house. I'm talking about parents that never let their kids leave the house.
  • DontStopB_Leakin
    DontStopB_Leakin Posts: 3,863 Member
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    I am super overprotective when it comes to my kids spending the night at other peoples houses. I have a tight circle of friends that I have gotten to know, and we allow our children to spend the night. I wouldn't let my kid spend the night at someones house I don't know or have just met. Maybe it's because I watch the news, or know a few people who's children have been victimized, I just don't want my children to ever experience anything so life altering. My daughter is 7, she is be no means capable of fending off someone, or able to get herself out of a bad situation.

    I can understand that. But you have people that you can trust. I'm not suggesting that I would ever let my daughter go to a total stranger's house. I'm talking about parents that never let their kids leave the house.
    ^This. I'm not gonna let my kid go spend the night at Joe the Hobo's house. Mainly because Joe the Hobo lives under I-35.
  • jboccio90
    jboccio90 Posts: 644 Member
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    Really seems like Baby Boomers were much better parents than the current crop.

    I slept over at a friend's house when I was 3. She slept over at mine. No one ever got hurt.

    Can't believe how paranoid people are. When the kid is 18 and steps outside of the glass house, they're screwed.

    That's a really unfair statement.

    Just because no harm came to you or your friend doesn't mean children your age werent getting molested or murdered. Now with internet news is spread more so then back when the baby boomers were raising their children. So naturally, parents are more aware of what could happen.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Really seems like Baby Boomers were much better parents than the current crop.

    I slept over at a friend's house when I was 3. She slept over at mine. No one ever got hurt.

    Can't believe how paranoid people are. When the kid is 18 and steps outside of the glass house, they're screwed.

    Absolutely agree with you here. We are supposed to be teaching these kids how to be independent, functioning adults! Refusing to let them leave your side is only going to keep them at your side. Coincidentally, that relative that I mentioned has a 19-yo shut-in for a daughter.
    The sad part is, I'm a part of Gen Y. I was just raised by baby boomers.
    Don't even get me started on the whole "spanking is abuse" garbage.

    I'm a gen-X-er myself. I think the problem is the media (I pretty much blame them for all social problems, lol). The media has become so sensationalistic and people feed into that all the time. It wasn't like that 20 and 30 years ago. Personally, I maintain the 'don't always believe what you read and hear' mentality.

    And besides... the theory of random suggests that any possible outcome can and will occur at some point in time. That doesn't meant that it occurs every time. Why live in fear of hypotheticals?
  • BIG_Lew
    BIG_Lew Posts: 513 Member
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    Opinion:

    They should've discussed their child rearing ideology before having children. They'll never mesh if they don't find a common ground. Very confusing for kids.

    The kid is his step kid.......his wife wants him involved but only just enough to say she has a father figure

    How would you know that's what she wants or is doing?? Seems a bit of a leap...


    We communicate regularly. Because we both are going thru similar situations

    You and HIM do... not you and her (based on what you've said). You're getting one side of the story.

    I would agree but I've seen it for myself. If her kid does sumthn she blames everyone but her kid. Gives her kid a hug and tells her it will be ok.....smdh
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    Really seems like Baby Boomers were much better parents than the current crop.

    I slept over at a friend's house when I was 3. She slept over at mine. No one ever got hurt.

    Can't believe how paranoid people are. When the kid is 18 and steps outside of the glass house, they're screwed.

    That's a really unfair statement.

    Just because no harm came to you or your friend doesn't mean children your age werent getting molested or murdered. Now with internet news is spread more so then back when the baby boomers were raising their children. So naturally, parents are more aware of what could happen.

    Could happen is not the same thing as will happen. You deprive your child of independence if you fail to teach them how to evaluate and accept risk.

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