bad jokes that we'll probably go to hell for
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KatyBugs1724
Posts: 74
in Chit-Chat
shoot em at me!!! I need a laugh. from jokes that are so terrible that they're hilarious. Here's mine to you:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He wanted to visit his cousin, McNugget.
I've got another:
What's worse than being eaten by zombies?
The holocaust.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
He wanted to visit his cousin, McNugget.
I've got another:
What's worse than being eaten by zombies?
The holocaust.
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Replies
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A baby seal walks into a club.0
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This is just a gross stupid one.....
What's grosser than gross?
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Biting into a hotdog and finding a vein in it :sick:0 -
This is a naughty one....
What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?
A... c o c k ... that stays up all night.
(edited because of the stupid word filter ^^^)0 -
What are the naughtiest animals on the farm?
Brown chicken, brown cow.....0 -
I would post some but I have already been warned by the mods that my jokes are not welcome =(0
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The only one I have you've probably all heard before... But here goes...
A little boy and little girl were outside playing, the little boy starts to laugh, the little girl asks the little boy "What's so funny?" He pulls down his pants and says "I have one of these and you don't". Little girl gets upset, runs inside and cries to her mom, about 5 minutes later she comes back outside laughing, the little boy asks "What's so funny?" The little girl pulls down her pants and says "My mama said since I have one of these, I can get as many of them's I want."
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where does the general keep his army?
In his sleevie
What's a cow with no legs?
Ground beef
How are a chicken and a grape alike?
Theyre both purple, except for the chicken
How do crazy people go through the forest?
They take the psycho path!0 -
A brunette a redhead and a blonde are all in the doctors waiting room... all three pregnant
The Brunette says, "I'm having a boy because well he took charge."
The redhead says, "Guess I'm having a girl as I didn't give him a choice."
The blonde starts crying, the others look at her and ask what's wrong the blonde replies between sobs, "I'm going to have puppies!"0 -
Blonde wakes up under a cow and says, "Oh not you four guys again."0
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A rich man is trying to decide which of three girlfriends to marry, so he gives each of them $10,000 and tells them, "Come back in a month and tell me how you spent it, and then we'll discuss marriage."
Girl number 1 worries about losing the money, so she hides it under the bed, and returns the full $10,000.
Girl number 2 thinks the guy obviously wants a looker, so she gets a complete makeover--hair, clothes, spa treatments, the works.
Girl number 3 decides to invest the money, and makes 15 percent in a month, and comes back with $11,500.
So which of these girls does he marry?
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The one with the biggest tits, of course.0 -
(found this on on Tumblr)
Why did Sara fall off the swing? She had no arms.
Knock. Knock.
Who's there?
Not Sara.0 -
(Friend told me this one, not sure whether she made it or not though)
Wanna hear a dirty joke? Billy played in the mud.
Wanna hear a clean joke? Billy took a bath with Bubbles.
Wanna hear another dirty joke? Bubbles was his next door neighbor.0 -
This is definitely a "go to hell for" joke:
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
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Getting her back into her wheelchair.
I'm Sorry!!0 -
If you laugh at this, you may as well knock on the gates of hell and ask for early entry..
www.dead-baby-joke.com/1 -
Heaven was getting crowded so they formed a new policy that you had to have a really crummy day to get in.
The first guy to enter heaven after the policy says the following:
"I get home early from work one day at my third-floor apartment and hear some rustling in the bed. I bust through the door, my wife is half naked in the living room, but I can't find her lover. So I go to the balcony and see this guy hanging off it by his fingertips. I step on his fingers and he falls, but a bush breaks the fall. So I looked for the first thing I could find, which was a refrigerator, and I throw that down at him and he dies. But then I have a heart attack."
Second guy enters and says: "I was doing some repair work on the fourth floor but I slip and fall to the third. I'm literally hanging by my fingertips off the balcony, and some *kitten* comes out, steps on my fingers, then throws a refrigerator on my head."
Third guy enters heaven, it's Bill Clinton. St. Peter says, "Well you know the policy, how did you die?"
Clinton says, "Okay, get this--I'm naked inside this chick's refrigerator..."0 -
This is definitely a "go to hell for" joke:
What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable?
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
Getting her back into her wheelchair.
I'm Sorry!!
You did a good job! You're the only one who made me LOL literally... So THANKS!
You were supposed to write a joke like that. It's terrible, but so funny.0 -
Heaven was getting crowded so they formed a new policy that you had to have a really crummy day to get in.
The first guy to enter heaven after the policy says the following:
"I get home early from work one day at my third-floor apartment and hear some rustling in the bed. I bust through the door, my wife is half naked in the living room, but I can't find her lover. So I go to the balcony and see this guy hanging off it by his fingertips. I step on his fingers and he falls, but a bush breaks the fall. So I looked for the first thing I could find, which was a refrigerator, and I throw that down at him and he dies. But then I have a heart attack."
Second guy enters and says: "I was doing some repair work on the fourth floor but I slip and fall to the third. I'm literally hanging by my fingertips off the balcony, and some *kitten* comes out, steps on my fingers, then throws a refrigerator on my head."
Third guy enters heaven, it's Bill Clinton. St. Peter says, "Well you know the policy, how did you die?"
Clinton says, "Okay, get this--I'm naked inside this chick's refrigerator..."
GOOD ONE!0 -
i heard this from the Crow and it's still funny.
Jesus Christ walks into a motel, hands the clerk 3 nails and asks, "Can you put me up for the night?"
Of course jesus saves, he's a jew.
What's more rare than a sober irishman? construction workers working.
What do you call a dead blond behind the couch? Last years hid and seek winner.0 -
Three dogs are in a vets waiting room. The first dog asked the second dog what he’s there for. They are putting me down. Oh no, say’s the first dog, why?
The second dog say’s Well, see I’ve been chasing the postman for years & yesterday I finally caught & bit him. The first dog say’s Well my master just completely remodeled the inside of his house & I didn’t like it cause my scent wasn’t there anymore. So I marked everything I could find while my master was sleeping.
So he is putting me down too. The Third dog says well this is my masters new girlfriend. She runs around the house all the time without her closes on, which makes me horny. So this morning as she was getting out of the shower & bent over to wipe up the water on the floor I jumped on her giving it to her!
The other dogs say so that’s why they are putting you down. No say’s the dog she brought me here to get my nails trimmed.0 -
How many Jews can you fit in a car?
2 in the front, 2 in the back, and 10 million in the ashtray0
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