Suggestions for better coping mechanisms?

Exercise.

Sorry, it's not the answer you want to hear, but it's the best answer.

My dogs! They are an absolute joy and give unconditional love always and really appreciate you. If you don't have a pet is it something you can consider

I need to do something to keep my hands and mouth busy when I'm feeling depressed, otherwise I'll start eating...I've began playing my clarinet again. (Used to play in high school) Not only does it keep me busy, but the music is also very soothing.

I keep a journal and before eating out of emotions, I talk about it in my journal. By the time I write it out and read it again, I'm not wanting the food to comfort me. There must be things you "love" to do even on bad days. Set yourself up to do those things when you get to this point. I struggle with excercise, but I tell myself I don't have to do a lot, just something, also "fake it till you make it" mentallity helps. If your belief is that eating will help you on bad days, you will always choose the food. We tend to do the things we believe. Good luck.

It can be frustrating when the thing you do to comfort yourself makes you feel worse in long run. I would suggest thinking about other activities that make you smile or happy. If it isn't exercise, then don't do it. (Don't do it with the hopes of making you feel good, do it because you believe in the benefits.) Some of my coping mechanisms are talking to friends, watching a movie, watching tv, reading a book, shopping, writing, changing my scenery, etc. Those all work, but not when I'm really down. And when I feel like that I just throw a huge pity party and work through my issue. I wrote down all the stuff that was bothering me, all the people and what they had done, no matter how trivial it seemed and put in al spreadsheet. Then I went through and answered what would have to happen for me to get over that offense. And at the end, I realized I only had an issue with a couple of things, not 40 like I thought, that I had "fixed" the majority of the problems, they were just all emotionally connected. By sorting through them, I disconnected them from each other and could see that I had made progress on most of my issues.
Since you had so many big issues occur in a short amount of time, you probably have them all mashed together and that makes them seem overwhelming. You also probably put a lot of feelings on the back burner because you had immediate needs that had to be handled right then. You didn't have the luxury of dealing with your emotions at the time. And now that it's been three years, you or others thing you should be over it, but your not. Try just delving into the issues, letting yourself feel what you feel and see if that doesn't give you a different perspective. I hope that helps! : )

It's exercise for me, too. I ONLY listen to my iPod when I'm walking, and it's full of music that always keeps me going, even if I'm not going very fast. Last summer, I had one very rough month, and I spent a lot of time out walking. I found that if I walked long enough (sometimes to the point of exhaustion, it felt), then I could walk back in the door and not have that need to stuff my face quite as much.

One thing that seems to help me is playing games, whether it's pogo.com, a crossword, soduku, just something. It keeps my hands busy, my mind busy, and it's good for your brain. The time seems to go by faster than expected as well. And if you want to combine exercise and games, try some of the XBox Kinect games. They are fun, and they involve movement, so you get both in one!

I don't know if you've considered it or tried it, but seeing a councelor is something that helps me to cope with the rough stuff in life. I initially started seeing her for mild anxiety, but also discovered that I was still harboring grief from the loss of a loved one from over 10 years ago that quite often would lead me to emotionally overeat, and also contributed to anxiey. Since seeing her, I go twice a month, I've learned to recognize my emotional eating patterns and have been able to employ some of the meditation techniques she taught me to overcome the cravings as well as the anxiety. I would recommend it to anyone! Plus, sometimes its just good to be able to unload all of the stuff most of us tend to keep bottled up. I think emotional and mental weight can outweigh us physically sometimes.

If you don't think counseling is your thing, then I would definitely recommend meditation, and even prayer if you're a spiritual person. A few other things that might help: if you play an instrument or have always wanted to learn now would be a great time, call up a close friend and plan a girls night, get a pedicure, read a book, and last but not least, hit the gym (I'm still working on this one too!!). Best of luck to you!

For me, music helps a great deal, and writing, but then I've been a long term writer. This last was a bit surprising to me, but recently I've been doing yoga. Not classes but an app that I found for my ipad. It's very simple, very peaceful.

I completely understand. I moved 3000 km away from my all of the people I know to a remote northern community and I've struggled with depression more than ever since the move. Pushing yourself to exercise is hard, so don't until you feel better.

I have lots of hobbies and a cat. I knit, crochet, make jewelry, cross stitch, play computer games, garden, sculpt. I have so many hobbies because some days you will wake up, and none of them will be appealing (it's part of the depression), so I find a new one. Take a trip to the local craft store, and pick something new to try!

EDIT: I also totally forgot about reading. Two nights ago I read a young adult fiction book in one sitting.