Suggestions for better coping mechanisms?

Exercise.

Sorry, it's not the answer you want to hear, but it's the best answer.

My dogs! They are an absolute joy and give unconditional love always and really appreciate you. If you don't have a pet is it something you can consider

I need to do something to keep my hands and mouth busy when I'm feeling depressed, otherwise I'll start eating...I've began playing my clarinet again. (Used to play in high school) Not only does it keep me busy, but the music is also very soothing.

I keep a journal and before eating out of emotions, I talk about it in my journal. By the time I write it out and read it again, I'm not wanting the food to comfort me. There must be things you "love" to do even on bad days. Set yourself up to do those things when you get to this point. I struggle with excercise, but I tell myself I don't have to do a lot, just something, also "fake it till you make it" mentallity helps. If your belief is that eating will help you on bad days, you will always choose the food. We tend to do the things we believe. Good luck.

It can be frustrating when the thing you do to comfort yourself makes you feel worse in long run. I would suggest thinking about other activities that make you smile or happy. If it isn't exercise, then don't do it. (Don't do it with the hopes of making you feel good, do it because you believe in the benefits.) Some of my coping mechanisms are talking to friends, watching a movie, watching tv, reading a book, shopping, writing, changing my scenery, etc. Those all work, but not when I'm really down. And when I feel like that I just throw a huge pity party and work through my issue. I wrote down all the stuff that was bothering me, all the people and what they had done, no matter how trivial it seemed and put in al spreadsheet. Then I went through and answered what would have to happen for me to get over that offense. And at the end, I realized I only had an issue with a couple of things, not 40 like I thought, that I had "fixed" the majority of the problems, they were just all emotionally connected. By sorting through them, I disconnected them from each other and could see that I had made progress on most of my issues.
Since you had so many big issues occur in a short amount of time, you probably have them all mashed together and that makes them seem overwhelming. You also probably put a lot of feelings on the back burner because you had immediate needs that had to be handled right then. You didn't have the luxury of dealing with your emotions at the time. And now that it's been three years, you or others thing you should be over it, but your not. Try just delving into the issues, letting yourself feel what you feel and see if that doesn't give you a different perspective. I hope that helps! : )

It's exercise for me, too. I ONLY listen to my iPod when I'm walking, and it's full of music that always keeps me going, even if I'm not going very fast. Last summer, I had one very rough month, and I spent a lot of time out walking. I found that if I walked long enough (sometimes to the point of exhaustion, it felt), then I could walk back in the door and not have that need to stuff my face quite as much.

One thing that seems to help me is playing games, whether it's pogo.com, a crossword, soduku, just something. It keeps my hands busy, my mind busy, and it's good for your brain. The time seems to go by faster than expected as well. And if you want to combine exercise and games, try some of the XBox Kinect games. They are fun, and they involve movement, so you get both in one!

I don't know if you've considered it or tried it, but seeing a councelor is something that helps me to cope with the rough stuff in life. I initially started seeing her for mild anxiety, but also discovered that I was still harboring grief from the loss of a loved one from over 10 years ago that quite often would lead me to emotionally overeat, and also contributed to anxiey. Since seeing her, I go twice a month, I've learned to recognize my emotional eating patterns and have been able to employ some of the meditation techniques she taught me to overcome the cravings as well as the anxiety. I would recommend it to anyone! Plus, sometimes its just good to be able to unload all of the stuff most of us tend to keep bottled up. I think emotional and mental weight can outweigh us physically sometimes.

If you don't think counseling is your thing, then I would definitely recommend meditation, and even prayer if you're a spiritual person. A few other things that might help: if you play an instrument or have always wanted to learn now would be a great time, call up a close friend and plan a girls night, get a pedicure, read a book, and last but not least, hit the gym (I'm still working on this one too!!). Best of luck to you!

For me, music helps a great deal, and writing, but then I've been a long term writer. This last was a bit surprising to me, but recently I've been doing yoga. Not classes but an app that I found for my ipad. It's very simple, very peaceful.

I completely understand. I moved 3000 km away from my all of the people I know to a remote northern community and I've struggled with depression more than ever since the move. Pushing yourself to exercise is hard, so don't until you feel better.

I have lots of hobbies and a cat. I knit, crochet, make jewelry, cross stitch, play computer games, garden, sculpt. I have so many hobbies because some days you will wake up, and none of them will be appealing (it's part of the depression), so I find a new one. Take a trip to the local craft store, and pick something new to try!

EDIT: I also totally forgot about reading. Two nights ago I read a young adult fiction book in one sitting.

Zen ironing , (the concept my aunty Olwen gifted to me and in turn I gift to you) divide the jobs you have to do round the house into manageable chunks then pick one which you tend to feel better knowing it's out of the way and do that when you feel miserable because the feeling afterwards is 'Life may be crap but at least I got the..... done'
I get SAD and bouts of depression, up until recently kickboxing and grappling really helped with the low mood not because of the exercise aspect but because honestly, sometimes, it feels very very good to kick the everloving out of something , unfourtunatly the Drs now put the mockers on that method so I may well be joining you in the pity party corner

I do the same thing. When I am depressed I eat. its a bad habit I formed many years ago. I find talking to a friend and or going out and doing something fun helps a lot. Keep busy. If exercising is not the thing for you to keep busy- then find something fun that is. Music always picks me up. Of course you have to ensure its upbeat music not some sad song. Do you have friends or family you can call or be with when you get depressed? My cousin and I always call each other to vent and cry it out and the other one listens then says something funny to get the other one out of the funk. She lives in Boston and I live in NJ but we have been there for each other for years. Also, although I am not religious I am spiritual. My faith has helped me thru many very rough times such as breast cancer, losing my job, and losing my husband to brain cancer 6 months ago. If you dont have anyone to talk to - I will be your friend. You can vent with me.

Consider seeking professional aid. A therapist that specializes in greif may be of benefit to you. Or you might benefit from a therapist that can help you combat your depression. A good therapist will guide you through your issues and teach you healthy coping strategies. I really think that alot of times people just need someone to talk to and therapy does that for you. Talking through you feelings can be so helpful.

But if you are not thinking that this is something for you, I think that other posters have good suggestions. Working out is a great stress reliever.

Find supportive friends. It is hard - especially as an adult. But find a group of people you meet with regularly and eventually you'll find those in that group you like. Talking will make you feel better. Not just talking about problems, but talking about good things too. Or just silly things.

Being with other people doing other things takes you out of yourself. And that's what you need.

Reading groups, library volunteers. Boating groups (see you in that kayak). Join a choir or a bowling team. Work on the PTA. Volunteer at a homeless shelter.

Learn tai chi. Yoga has lots of skinny people but tai chi is great for people of all body sizes and all levels of starting activity. My husband teaches tai chi and teaches a class for people in wheel chairs and for senior citizens. It gets you out of the house and gives you people to talk with. If you can't find one at the Y or a community club, many senior centers offer them and they're happy to have young folks there too.

Seriously. When you're happier, it will be easier to be healthy. And you'll want to work harder to get and stay healthy.