Does it discourage anyone else...

I have lost almost 40 lbs, 16% of my body weight, down 4 pants sizes. But, nobody seems to notice. I know... I am doing this for me, not anyone else, but, a little positive reinforcement sure wouldn't hurt anything. I WILL keep going and reach ALL of my goals for ME! Sorry, just felt the need to vent to others that might understand.
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Replies

  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
    I have lost almost 40 lbs, 16% of my body weight, down 4 pants sizes. But, nobody seems to notice. I know... I am doing this for me, not anyone else, but, a little positive reinforcement sure wouldn't hurt anything. I WILL keep going and reach ALL of my goals for ME! Sorry, just felt the need to vent to others that might understand.

    I would be discouraged too if that were the case. Do you have before pics?
  • Have you bought new clothes? Wearing the same big clothes can cover up your wonderful achievement.
  • drmerc
    drmerc Posts: 2,603 Member
    Have you bought new clothes? Wearing the same big clothes can cover up your wonderful achievement.

    I think its his pretty frequently the cause
  • starracer23
    starracer23 Posts: 1,011 Member
    I agree with the above posters...
  • 1Kristine1
    1Kristine1 Posts: 697 Member
    No one had noticed four pant sizes? Thats a major difference, good work by the way. I find some people are quicker to notice and others are really slow, like it takes 30lbs before someone says "have you lost weight?".
    Otherwise people might notice but havent said anything, because they dont know what to say or they could be a tad jealous. Who knows.

    Do you have before and after pics? If so, you could post them and others usually have a better eye to noticing changes even when we dont see them ourselves.

    I wish more of my friends would notice but one of my close friends did say that I looked really good and that she could tell I was loosing weight and looked close to how I had in highschool. Which was soo nice of her, she usually isnt mushy like that. HAHA. Compliments are nice once and awhile.

    Goodluck with the weightloss! Keep at it. 40lbs is major.

    Edit: Yes I also agree, if you are wearing the same clothes. Even if they are baggy/loose they could be masking the loss.
  • chip305
    chip305 Posts: 63 Member
    I really only have before pictures, and yes I have bought new clothes, nothing I had fit anymore, I have went from plus size down to misses sizes. Oh, well, it will come with time, I'm sure. Just a down day I guess.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    How do your clothes fit? Maybe your clothes aren't revealing your new figure.

    Has you weight always fluctuated up and down? Maybe they don't realize that you are actively attempting to lose and that this just isn't a brief low in your normal weight fluctuations.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    YES! When I was losing I dropped 2 sizes and not one word from co-workers. I mentioned it to my husband, who works for the same company, one day and he said "Really, people mention it to me all the time." Now that I've kept it off a few have mentioned it to me, but I still don't know why they mentioned it to him and not me.

    It didn't slow me down because I really was doing it for me, but I gotta admit a "You look great" or "How much have you lost?" would have been nice.
  • taintedbutterfly18
    taintedbutterfly18 Posts: 189 Member
    That is a wonderful achievement! Don't let people get you down.
  • sempertracy
    sempertracy Posts: 50 Member
    Tell people about your success, nothing wrong with tooting your horn. The more people who know your struggles the more who enjoy in your achievements. I think people sometimes don't comment because they don't know if one is trying to lose weight or something else like a medical condition.
  • 1Kristine1
    1Kristine1 Posts: 697 Member
    Just wait for it. Youll lose like another 5lbs then EVERYONE around you will say something. It happens weirdly like that.
  • CorinthiaB
    CorinthiaB Posts: 488 Member
    I will venture to say that they have noticed. However, they may not know how to compliment you on the change. Some people often time won't say anything because they don't know how you will receive it. They would have to be impaired visually not to notice you have gone done 4 pants size. BTW Congrats!
  • jennco3
    jennco3 Posts: 72 Member
    Some people just don't say anything. It took me dropping 60 lbs for anyone to say a word. Im sure you are doing great and look amazing! Keep it up.
  • sometimes its hard to tell if its people you see everyday, maybe plan a lunch with someone you haven't seen in months? ;)
  • katheern
    katheern Posts: 213 Member
    Some people are also hesitant to say anything because they aren't sure if it's insulting in some way (I'm sure some people can find a way to turn it into an insult :grumble: ). But I'm sure they ARE noticing because it's a huge change. No one really said anything to me (other than very close friends and family) until I reached about 50lbs.
  • whitsoule
    whitsoule Posts: 3 Member
    People may notice but not say anything because they wouldn't want to imply that you needed to lose weight? Though, it wouldn't hurt to say, "You look great today" even if they didn't reference weight loss specifically.

    Good job on the 40 lbs - that is a TON of work and you must be developing new life habits to commit to that kind of loss. Good for you!

    Don't give up - what you are doing is inspirational and HARD and you should be proud of yourself (and enjoy all those new clothes in the misses section!) ;-):happy:
  • michelle2482
    michelle2482 Posts: 33 Member
    I feel like it's an awkward thing at times to talk about someone else's weight, even if the results are positive. Perhaps your friends feel the same way?
  • DeniseBromley
    DeniseBromley Posts: 123 Member
    People may be noticing but not saying anything - this was the case with me awhile back. I went to a committee meeting and nobody said anything, even tho I had lost over 30 lbs..but the next day, a friend who is also on the committee, called me and said that I was quite the topic of discussion after I left - everybody was commenting on the weightloss, but didn't want to say anything, because they didn't know me well enough.
  • shani251
    shani251 Posts: 145 Member
    YES! When I was losing I dropped 2 sizes and not one word from co-workers. I mentioned it to my husband, who works for the same company, one day and he said "Really, people mention it to me all the time." Now that I've kept it off a few have mentioned it to me, but I still don't know why they mentioned it to him and not me.

    It didn't slow me down because I really was doing it for me, but I gotta admit a "You look great" or "How much have you lost?" would have been nice.

    this happened with me - people didn't say a word to me but talked to my boyfriend about it all the time.
  • MommaRou56
    MommaRou56 Posts: 68 Member
    I still don't know why they mentioned it to him and not me.

    I have had several men tell me, after we discussed it, that they would never have brought it up to me because they had been taught (by their wives and/or mothers) to NEVER say anything to a woman about her weight. Even if you are telling someone they look like they have lost weight, some will take offense at your implication that they needed to lose weight. I have had far more women say things to me than men. Plus, in our ever litigious society, any compliment about how good you look, especially with regard to your body, can be misconstrued and a cause for a lawsuit in an office setting. But keep up the good work! It looks like you and I are on the same weight loss road and near the same spot! And I FEEL so much better than I did before and have so much more energy! :)
  • katicasi82
    katicasi82 Posts: 121 Member
    In Ireland it's considered rude to comment on some ones weight...good/bad! (unless you're REALLY close)
  • _KatieKat
    _KatieKat Posts: 224
    Have you bought new clothes? Wearing the same big clothes can cover up your wonderful achievement.

    ^^ this
  • Savemyshannon
    Savemyshannon Posts: 334 Member
    YES. It discourages me. But I think it depends on who you are seeing. For instance, my boyfriend hadn't noticed my weight loss because he saw me every single day, so the changes were so subtle and gradual that it never really clicked in his mind that I was different. But I ran into a coworker the other day that I hadn't seen in a month due to different schedules and she couldn't believe how different I looked!

    I also agree that people may not want to say anything. Sometimes it's awkward pointing out weight loss because it's a big flashing sign that you were once fat. Congrats on your achievements, though, and don't let this get you down. You're doing fabulously.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    I have lost almost 40 lbs, 16% of my body weight, down 4 pants sizes. But, nobody seems to notice. I know... I am doing this for me, not anyone else, but, a little positive reinforcement sure wouldn't hurt anything. I WILL keep going and reach ALL of my goals for ME! Sorry, just felt the need to vent to others that might understand.

    My nutritionist told me that it takes 40 pounds of loss for close family to notice, 80 lbs of loss before friends notice and 80+ for acquaintances to notice...

    when she told me that I thought she was crazy, but it seemed to hold true...my family started to notice at 40 pounds, my friends at 60-80 and my "rarely see them" co workers at plus 80 pounds...

    four jean sizes seems like a lot but sometimes I think people just that wrapped up in what is happening in their lives.
  • BrazenHarpy
    BrazenHarpy Posts: 81 Member
    I had a coworker who dropped almost fifty pounds. It took me MONTHS to notice. When I finally did, it took even longer for me to say something because I was so embarrassed that I hadn't noticed in the first place.

    So yeah, definitely don't let the lack of notice discourage you. Most likely you will be talking with one of your coworkers a couple of weeks from now, and they'll do some bizarre double-take and go, "uh, am I crazy, or did you lose a TON of weight?"
  • Heypapajinx
    Heypapajinx Posts: 12 Member
    I have lost weight thus far, not a significant amount, but enough to notice a difference in the way my clothing fits as well as how my body looks. The only person supplying feedback about noticing was my boyfriend and frankly, I feel he is obligated to say that for fear of *dagger eyes*. None of my friends or co-workers metnioned it and I felt the same; in a slump thinking "I must be kidding myself, I must still look exactly the same despite all my efforts! :( ".

    Alas! This was not the case! I recently got together with two separate people at two separate times completely unrelated to my friends/co-workers that have/had no idea that I have been on My Fitness Pal or working out and BOTH commented "Wow! What have you been doing!? You look like you've lost weight!" - FINALLY! SUCCESS!! Then I thought about it; the people I see everyday wouldn't really notice it, even if they did, they know I'm trying to lose weight and probably assume that I KNOW that I've lost weight. Now the people who have no idea have a better vantage point! I say, don't be discouraged! Just know that YOU have done the work, lost the weight, and trust me, the compliments will come when you LEAST expect it! CONGRATULATIONS!
  • Colemanlo1
    Colemanlo1 Posts: 30 Member
    I am 5 pounds away from my goal weight and have been working for months! I heard the first comment about it today and it was great. I know how discouraging it can be but hang in there because as you said, you are doing it for you! And WE are impressed here at MFP! :) Heck my husband didn't even say anything till I brought it up. But you KNOW people are noticing it. Congrats!
  • gingerjen7
    gingerjen7 Posts: 821 Member
    YES! When I was losing I dropped 2 sizes and not one word from co-workers. I mentioned it to my husband, who works for the same company, one day and he said "Really, people mention it to me all the time." Now that I've kept it off a few have mentioned it to me, but I still don't know why they mentioned it to him and not me.

    It didn't slow me down because I really was doing it for me, but I gotta admit a "You look great" or "How much have you lost?" would have been nice.
    I think sometimes people are afraid to say something, in case they're wrong. I had a meeting with one of my coworkers yesterday who I haven't seen in a while, and I thought she looked a bit slimmer, but I was afraid to ask, "Have you lost weight because you look really good?" for fear that if she'd infer that she must have looked bad before, which would be doubly hurtful if she hadn't lost any weight and it was just her clothing. Plus, most of the time when someone notices or mentions weight loss, it's because the person was carrying a few extra pounds to begin with. How many times have you looked at a slender person and said, "Gosh, have you lost weight? You look great!" Probably very few because you're less likely to notice it. A natural assumption tends to be that someone who is heavier is sensitive about their weight or appearance, so you should avoid bringing it up. Unless someone has announced that they are making lifestyle changes, I avoid talking about their weight or appearance. Kind of like pregnancy: if someone hasn't announced they're pregnant, I'm not going to congratulate them on it--what if they're not pregnant! And, there's unintentional, health related weight loss. What if you asked what someone was doing to lose weight and they said, "I've got cancer." "Oh, well you look fabulous, keep it up!" :laugh: But seriously, I just keep my mouth shut unless someone has made it clear what's going on. If they don't want to tell me, I would assume they don't want me to know or hear my opinion about it.
  • gin_gin
    gin_gin Posts: 184
    no one has noticed I lost weight but I don't let that deter me when I go down in clothing size
    or just feel better in general to me thats a better feeling than someone noticing
  • gavini
    gavini Posts: 248 Member
    based on your ticker, you are half way there give or take right? people might be uncomfortable saying anything because they may think you look better but know you still have a couple pounds to lose in which case, if they said something, and you havent lost weight then they basically just called you fat because it happens to be the dress today or the lighting that makes you look thinner, does that make sense? especially for co-workers who in most offices, probably never REALLY look at you because they are more focused on the job, the project the task that they are talking about with you instead of being focused on you. that may not be the case in your office but i think it is in many offices where people arent un-friendly but they arent exactly buddies with their co-workers.

    i lost 20 lbs in about 9-10 months and no comments, maintained that weight then two or more years later i lost 10 lbs in 3 or 4 months and i started getting comments about my weight loss all of a sudden and honestly, i didnt like it and was embarrassed by it, felt like they thought i was a fat *kitten* before, perhaps this is the type of thought that is going through co-workers minds.

    regardless, congrats on your GREAT progress, and just wait until christmas time or some big family function when everyone will be like "damn! what happened to you!?!"