Deprive yourself..it's the best way
Replies
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You are right on! Thanks for sharing this. I'm with you, if I have to give up ever having a piece of pie at a gathering then yeah, it would really be depressing. I am losing steady and I still have my treats. By the way, yours sound pretty good too;) I think my smoothees are really a treat. I had some apple crisp at my sisters a week ago and saw chips in her cupboard and literally stuffed 5 or so in my mouth, LOL!! It was also fun, literally fun for me to get home the next day and start on my own foods:) So again, I guess it is that moderation thing;) hugs, denise:drinker: :drinker:I eat three meals a day and I eat snacks. I do my best to eat healthy things. BUT... in the evening I have something sweet and it's usually frozen yogurt, strawberry banana that is only 100 calories a half cup. And usually with a 50 calorie waffle cone LOL. Shame on me. Honestly isn't that the beauty of this program? Learning to eat better, learning portion control, learning to exercise regularly. No one says we have to deprive ourselves and I can tell you for one, if I have to completely cut all that stuff out of my diet, I might as well throw in the towel now. I drink the occasional diet soda, I eat lower calorie chips and I even have a cookie now and then. This is a life style that I will have to learn to live with if I ever want to resemble a normal person and not the fat cow I was when I started.0
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[/quote]The mind-set is alive and well "don't eat anything and you won't be fat anymore".
I freely admit I used to have that mind set. I don't anymore. But what I do works for me. If what someone else does works for them, that's great! But if I want someone to critique my diary, I'll ask for volunteers. ;DThat's great, whatever works for you. I have the same mind-set on that. One thing I will continue to do is have an open-mind about what others have learned. I may not agree but some of it might just get me one step closer to a healthier way of doing things. Hey and if it's more pleasant than torture I am all for that:drinker: :drinker:
I have an open mind. I have learned a lot from being here. But having diabetes makes it a lot different for me. I cant do everything everyone else suggests. But its ok....I am doing good.
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As I said in another post, a treat is fine every now and then. I should have added though if food is the main reward a person gives themselves then there may be a food addiction problem. 100 years ago no one would have felt deprived for not eating sweets every day or even every week.
Yes, this. To say that when you lose 50 lbs you're going to celebrate by going out to eat, you've kind of missed the point. Also, try to get out of the habit of using food to "make it all better" if you do that. Awww, you have to work 12 hours today? You DESERVE that quatro frappo mega frozen latte with sprinkles and extra whip! Awww, you had a bad day? You need cheesecake! Awww, you lost your baseball game? Let's go get pizza! Awww, your loser boyfriend ditched you? You need to sit on the couch with three pints of Ben & Jerry's and a spoon and watch Toddlers and Tiaras! Yeah, not so much.
I like to celebrate or reward myself with some "me time"
When I've been really busy with work, had a bad day, leg and back went out again, whatever the problem of the day may be at any given stressful time I like to just do nothing. I usually have a few movies saved on the dvr and if I will put aside the time to lay on my couch with my dogs and watch something or just take a nap. Sometimes in the middle of the week if I don't have any work in the afternoon I might just spend some time watching spongebob. The show makes me giggle and I feel like I deserve a break.
If I have been doing early morning visits for a long time I always look forward to the day they end for a while, I don't reward myself by eating, I stay up a little later for a night and spend the morning relaxing. It's still something to look forward too.
I don't feel rewarded for eating any type of food. We have to eat to survive. I eat foods I like the taste of and enjoy cooking big meals once in a while. But food isn't a reward, it's something we need to survive. Rewards should be fun. I eat every day of my life whether I've been good or bad. I still think going to see a movie is treat for myself.0 -
I predict that one day you set aside will become less important with time. Not that I won't always want a treat but honestly, my "wants" and cravings have changed in only 55 days here on MFP! Your deal is similar to how I live my life now. I have days, and usually it is one a week, where I just want to grab something unhealthy. Gads, I never want to be so strict or hard on myself that I can't join in on something like whatever!!:drinker: :drinker: Thanks for sharing your uplifting and encouraging post!!:flowerforyou: DeniseThe thing I found about depriving myself is that I can only do it for so long and then something happens, and I break down and eat a "forbidden food" and it tastes so good that I just can't stop and before I know it, I'm not following my "diet" plan, have gained all the weight back plus more...and then I am angry and disappointed with myself so I eat even more to comfort myself. Vicious cycle. The plan I am following now (Choose to Lose) allows me to have one free day of eating. You'd think that would keep me from losing weight but I'm 8 pounds down since I started 6 weeks ago which is exceeding my goal of losing 1 pound a week. My other goal is to not just lose weight but to keep it off... something I can do for the rest of my life. Knowing that I get to eat whatever i want on Sunday, helps me stay on track and under my calorie limit the other 6 days...I may not lose as fast as others who don't have a free day but chances are I'll lose more weight and KEEP IT OFF in the long run. Since i've been watching alot of Olympics, I'm going to end by saying losing weight is not a sprint but a marathon. One must plan accordingly to make it to the finish line - reach goal weight AND maintain it. I've always made it a sprint (I want to be skinny now!) and ran out of steam (I can't eat another boring chicken and broccoli dinner) way before I reached my finish line. When I do get frustrated about how much weight I still have to lose, I tell myself, if I keep this up, next year, I will be at least 52 pounds closer to my goal. Best of luck and don't be too hard on yourself!0
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I personally believe that there is no reason to absolutely remove all the typically bad things from my diet. If I want a piece of chocolate, then I will plan my day accordingly and exercise more or adjust my food intake for the day to account for it.
I choose to eat HAPPY and it is working for me. I'm honest to a fault with my food journals, and I have had several people tell me that I'm doing something 'wrong' and they don't want to see that I indulged in a blueberry frozen yogurt with fresh cherries last week, or they feel the need to message me to inform me that two months ago I ate 10 coconut M&Ms in one day and that isn't an appropriate snack by their standards, well maybe they don't need to be my friend. As evidenced by my ticker, something I'm doing is going right.
If I, or anyone else on this site, is proud of food choices or exercise or a NSV at the end of the day, then who am I to throw a stone? I'm much more likely to be the person standing beside them, encouraging them towards their success. Every single day is a new day and an opportunity to succeed.0 -
I totally get this and thanks for writing about it!! I used to think about food more than anything else! Now I think about it because I am keeping a diary but I think of it as fuel. Sometimes I don't want food at all but I know I "need" to eat to fuel my activities. Whole new mind-set and loving it. On Facebook I see people posting all these recipes, it's like food is their life, their meaning for being here. Wow, talk about being set free and it all started thanks to MFP!! :drinker: :drinker:As I said in another post, a treat is fine every now and then. I should have added though if food is the main reward a person gives themselves then there may be a food addiction problem. 100 years ago no one would have felt deprived for not eating sweets every day or even every week.
Yes, this. To say that when you lose 50 lbs you're going to celebrate by going out to eat, you've kind of missed the point. Also, try to get out of the habit of using food to "make it all better" if you do that. Awww, you have to work 12 hours today? You DESERVE that quatro frappo mega frozen latte with sprinkles and extra whip! Awww, you had a bad day? You need cheesecake! Awww, you lost your baseball game? Let's go get pizza! Awww, your loser boyfriend ditched you? You need to sit on the couch with three pints of Ben & Jerry's and a spoon and watch Toddlers and Tiaras! Yeah, not so much.
I like to celebrate or reward myself with some "me time"
When I've been really busy with work, had a bad day, leg and back went out again, whatever the problem of the day may be at any given stressful time I like to just do nothing. I usually have a few movies saved on the dvr and if I will put aside the time to lay on my couch with my dogs and watch something or just take a nap. Sometimes in the middle of the week if I don't have any work in the afternoon I might just spend some time watching spongebob. The show makes me giggle and I feel like I deserve a break.
If I have been doing early morning visits for a long time I always look forward to the day they end for a while, I don't reward myself by eating, I stay up a little later for a night and spend the morning relaxing. It's still something to look forward too.
I don't feel rewarded for eating any type of food. We have to eat to survive. I eat foods I like the taste of and enjoy cooking big meals once in a while. But food isn't a reward, it's something we need to survive. Rewards should be fun. I eat every day of my life whether I've been good or bad. I still think going to see a movie is treat for myself.0 -
I'm with you!! Hey, I did the M&M thing but I had the regular peanut types:laugh:I personally believe that there is no reason to absolutely remove all the typically bad things from my diet. If I want a piece of chocolate, then I will plan my day accordingly and exercise more or adjust my food intake for the day to account for it.
I choose to eat HAPPY and it is working for me. I'm honest to a fault with my food journals, and I have had several people tell me that I'm doing something 'wrong' and they don't want to see that I indulged in a blueberry frozen yogurt with fresh cherries last week, or they feel the need to message me to inform me that two months ago I ate 10 coconut M&Ms in one day and that isn't an appropriate snack by their standards, well maybe they don't need to be my friend. As evidenced by my ticker, something I'm doing is going right.
If I, or anyone else on this site, is proud of food choices or exercise or a NSV at the end of the day, then who am I to throw a stone? I'm much more likely to be the person standing beside them, encouraging them towards their success. Every single day is a new day and an opportunity to succeed.0 -
Oh you are in good company then because I know many here with diabetes as well as numerous other ailments. I thought I was going to be all alone in my "category" but I am not now that I have been here awhile and met more peeps:)The mind-set is alive and well "don't eat anything and you won't be fat anymore".
I freely admit I used to have that mind set. I don't anymore. But what I do works for me. If what someone else does works for them, that's great! But if I want someone to critique my diary, I'll ask for volunteers. ;DThat's great, whatever works for you. I have the same mind-set on that. One thing I will continue to do is have an open-mind about what others have learned. I may not agree but some of it might just get me one step closer to a healthier way of doing things. Hey and if it's more pleasant than torture I am all for that:drinker: :drinker:
I have an open mind. I have learned a lot from being here. But having diabetes makes it a lot different for me. I cant do everything everyone else suggests. But its ok....I am doing good.
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Some people encounter temptations every single day (at their jobs, for instance) and do need to deprive themselves at least most of the time if they want to see any progress. They may be celebrating not eating that piece of birthday cake because now they'll have room for the full nutritious meals they had planned. They may be celebrating because they don't want empty calories most of the time. Just because something tastes good doesn't mean we have to have it.
For those who want to fit in cake every day or week, seriously go for it. If you can make that work in your life, all the more power to you. Your body is not mine, and I won't judge you for how you go about your health and fitness and weight loss. It's more trouble to me than it's worth to eat the cake most of the time. Some people would even rather have the binge or the setback for a couple of weeks than try to drive themselves crazy fitting in treats when they just aren't that important to them.
Don't be sad for me, OP. It's not sad. It's just food. I love junk food like anyone else, but I also love not eating empty calories most of the time. I feel better all around even though it means not always getting what I want. :flowerforyou:0 -
No I'm not offended. I am sorry you have this condition. I am not a doctor but I will continue to talk about good health as I believe it to be. I won't tell you I know how to help someone that is dealing with what you are but I do believe there are others here that are dealing with it as well.
I will say that I am very proud of you for speaking up and not being afraid to tell people about what you battle. One thing I learned from what I will call an addiction for me in my 20's, was that speaking up and telling people began the process of setting me free from it.
I am glad we are both here, deniseTRIGGER WARNING
I see people so happy they only ate 600 calories and didn't have a cookie, glass of wine, beer or a piece of Wedding cake. I have eatin not only more nutritious foods since I've found MFP but I also have not deprived myself of something yummy and not within the realm of "healthy nutrition", yes, the dreaded "empty" calories. I am still here and still losing weight and gaining muscle.
The mind-set is alive and well "don't eat anything and you won't be fat anymore".
I'm not here to start a debate. I simply want to explain things from the other side of the coin. For the past few weeks, I've been eating 250-800 cals a day (with the exception of one binge day that was 1,100). Am I happy when I stay under my goal? yes, because if not I beat myself up over it badly. It's a struggle every day for me to eat something because I'm overwhelmed by feelings of guilt and embarrassment for letting myself down (eating, or "messing up" my progress). I know it's not healthy. I'm trying to get better. It's hard.
Every time I look at a food label, this is what I see:
and then I get disgusted and lose my appetite. This is something that goes through my head before every time I eat:
I don't like being this way; it's scary and I don't feel like I can control it. But like I said, I'm trying to get better. I just wanted you to understand my point of view. Eating disorders are nothing to be proud of. Sorry if I offended anyone, as it was not my intention.0 -
"I choose to eat HAPPY and it is working for me."
This!
Also, for me, I found that not eating back my calories was not helping. Eating back my calories, and adding more protein to my diet, has really helped me drop both lbs. and sizes. Everyone's different and for me deprivation is not the way to go. Fitness is a journey and we all have to make our own path.0 -
thanks Ray:) I am going into the medical profession and although I will just be most likely, the gal that greets people when they come in, I want to help folks. I hate seeing people suffer and I know I can't fix anyone I can maybe share something that will help. And honestly, sometimes it just freaks me out, like I faint at the sight of blood(well I did once when I was little)I want to faint at the sight of someone that is suffering from deprivation.
deniseGREAT POST!!! :flowerforyou: :drinker:0 -
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Yes, this. To say that when you lose 50 lbs you're going to celebrate by going out to eat, you've kind of missed the point. Also, try to get out of the habit of using food to "make it all better" if you do that. Awww, you have to work 12 hours today? You DESERVE that quatro frappo mega frozen latte with sprinkles and extra whip! Awww, you had a bad day? You need cheesecake! Awww, you lost your baseball game? Let's go get pizza! Awww, your loser boyfriend ditched you? You need to sit on the couch with three pints of Ben & Jerry's and a spoon and watch Toddlers and Tiaras! Yeah, not so much.
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I agree with this but was laughing when I read "....and watch Toddlers and Tiaras"! Only been on MFP since June so I like to see what works for people . I have found for me making small gradual changes, such as drinking more water instead of eliminating certain foods right off the bat, has allowed me to keep off the few lbs. I've already lost.0 -
It's just turning out to be much easier for me to lose weight and eat healthy now that I refuse to think of most of the things I used to eat on a daily basis as food.
Pastry? Nope, not food.
Bread? Not food.
Sugar? Not food.
Things that are not food to me aren't tempting like they were when I thought of them as 'junk food' or 'moderation food' or 'treats'. Just so much easier to think of all that as 'not food'!0 -
"I choose to eat HAPPY and it is working for me."
This!
Also, for me, I found that not eating back my calories was not helping. Eating back my calories, and adding more protein to my diet, has really helped me drop both lbs. and sizes. Everyone's different and for me deprivation is not the way to go. Fitness is a journey and we all have to make our own path.
^ditto0 -
I've experienced some of this and now I cringe I ever did it, glad you are here, deniseAs an eating disorder therapist, I see it a lot and it makes me cringe as well when I hear people so proud that they ate so little. That I believe is the real reason that "diets dont work". If you deprive yourself so much, how in the world are you going to enjoy life??? Plus thinking about the side effects of the low calorie diets including sluggish metabolism, poor concentration, no energy, and obsessive thinking about foods.0
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OMYgosh, when are we going to have this?? Just tell me the time and place!! Woohoooooo!!I dont deprive myself of anything. I just eat less and within my calorie range... I dont believe in dieting one bit. I do believe in enjoying the simple pleasures of life tho and if thats a baileys run cream oreo cheese cake then by god i'm gonna have it! lol (but thats just me)0
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For me, I don't consider, "Someone offered me a cookie and I turned it down," to be a victory.
My idea of a victory is, "I met my nutritional goals and still had room for a cookie. Or three."
THIS!
^this and this0 -
For me, I don't consider, "Someone offered me a cookie and I turned it down," to be a victory.
My idea of a victory is, "I met my nutritional goals and still had room for a cookie. Or three."
SO true! Love this!0 -
i couldnt agree more0
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I hear you, I don't buy those treats, I admit, I eat goodies at other peeps houses, Good thing they all live far enough away I can't just run over there, LOL!!For the most part i agree, its okay to have little treats once in awhile. However, not everyone has that will power yet and its better if they deprive themselves from the food. Im doing great but i still cant eat cool ranch doritos. I would eat the whole bag. Maybe one day.0
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There is no point in depriving yourself because if you do for a lengthy period of time, it will eventually end in binge of some sort. Keep it all in your daily calorie count and if a special occasion comes along, try to do more cardio exercise that day and the following day so as not to gain. It's a matter of adopting a cleaner way of eating and being careful. I have just started the marathon again, some day I'll be a winner like I have been many times before but it's a matter of making the eating style permanent. Paltee0
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This is my way, baby steps:) Glad we are both here:) denise
Yes, this. To say that when you lose 50 lbs you're going to celebrate by going out to eat, you've kind of missed the point. Also, try to get out of the habit of using food to "make it all better" if you do that. Awww, you have to work 12 hours today? You DESERVE that quatro frappo mega frozen latte with sprinkles and extra whip! Awww, you had a bad day? You need cheesecake! Awww, you lost your baseball game? Let's go get pizza! Awww, your loser boyfriend ditched you? You need to sit on the couch with three pints of Ben & Jerry's and a spoon and watch Toddlers and Tiaras! Yeah, not so much.
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I agree with this but was laughing when I read "....and watch Toddlers and Tiaras"! Only been on MFP since June so I like to see what works for people . I have found for me making small gradual changes, such as drinking more water instead of eliminating certain foods right off the bat, has allowed me to keep off the few lbs. I've already lost.
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'good health' really isn't eating junk food when you feel it is moderate, when you gave the calories and when you want it. I'm not saying it's bad, but I wouldn't call it goid health either. It is probably better than most of us were previously doing with our diets...0
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That is so true, we have a tendency to be so hard on ourself, chances are that we are going to have to be carefull regarding what we eat for the rest of our lives, so we may as well be easier on ourself and try to make wise choices and include exercise in our daily routine. Paltee0
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If I missed answering anyones post so far, forgive me. I guess I learned a certain etiquette on message boards and it's stuck with me. When someone replies it's just as if I am sitting at a round table discussion for me.
So thanks everyone for your input!! I especially appreciate those that don't quite agree because I respect folks that speak their minds, plus, I am open to learning. Everything I say about fitness or nutrition has been taught to me. Much of it I have experienced now, in at least a small way. Enough to know that it's working for me in losing fat, gaining muscle and feeling a lot younger(did I mention I actually feel younger?:laugh: Now that's a bonus!:drinker: :drinker:
denise0 -
TRIGGER WARNING
I see people so happy they only ate 600 calories and didn't have a cookie, glass of wine, beer or a piece of Wedding cake. I have eatin not only more nutritious foods since I've found MFP but I also have not deprived myself of something yummy and not within the realm of "healthy nutrition", yes, the dreaded "empty" calories. I am still here and still losing weight and gaining muscle.
The mind-set is alive and well "don't eat anything and you won't be fat anymore".
I'm not here to start a debate. I simply want to explain things from the other side of the coin. For the past few weeks, I've been eating 250-800 cals a day (with the exception of one binge day that was 1,100). Am I happy when I stay under my goal? yes, because if not I beat myself up over it badly. It's a struggle every day for me to eat something because I'm overwhelmed by feelings of guilt and embarrassment for letting myself down (eating, or "messing up" my progress). I know it's not healthy. I'm trying to get better. It's hard.
Every time I look at a food label, this is what I see:
and then I get disgusted and lose my appetite. This is something that goes through my head before every time I eat:
I don't like being this way; it's scary and I don't feel like I can control it. But like I said, I'm trying to get better. I just wanted you to understand my point of view. Eating disorders are nothing to be proud of. Sorry if I offended anyone, as it was not my intention.
Thank you for sharing your story. I do hope that you are getting help for your eating disorder. It is a scary road and I understand exactly how you feel. I think that this thread is trying to in some subtle ways combat eating disorders as they are a dangerous road. When you do eat to little you have a lot of side effects and it is scary. I am glad that it is scary for you and not victorious feeling.0 -
I agree that deprivation is not the answer, and definitely not a lifestyle change... unless you truly don't want to ever eat that stuff again.0
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I agree that deprivation is not the answer, and definitely not a lifestyle change... unless you truly don't want to ever eat that stuff again.
Why? Why is it all or nothing? I choose to deprive myself of what I want most of the time for something I want more--better health. I do have junk food sometimes, but yes, I deprive myself of it most of the time. It's a much healthier lifestyle for me than fitting it in whenever I want it.
I do consider the victory turning down the cookie and making a healthier for me choice.0 -
I think several people who utilize MFP don't quite understand the difference between eating simply to nourish and eating for enjoyment. I have been criticized for not eating the caloric goal set forth for me everyday. I do not physically nor emotionally need to consume that many caloires a day. I have a large body. MFP has set forth nutritional goals that are unneccesary to actually nourish my body, therefore I eat what is necessary and only eat out of hunger and nourishment, not enjoyment. Our bodies were not meant to be dumpsters and all food consumed should be used to power and energize us. That being said, I find no fault in the allowance of an unhealthy snack every now and again. I, on rare occasion, allow myself to have a few alcoholic beverages or a piece of pie, maybe even a scoop of ice cream, but a continual allowance is unneccesary and unhealthy. Therefore, I respectfully must disagree.0
This discussion has been closed.
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