► MFP ALL ★ TEAM ◄

I am starting this as a new team for those of us who started out needing to and/or still need to loose 1/2 of our body weight or more.

Nothing against anyone else- but there are some other threads/groups for this- but they seem to have died. I found it a bit disheartening to join groups and see that the person/people "leading" the group had only lost less than 10lbs in a years time. (I realize many of them probably stopped coming to the site- I'm guilty of doing that).. but I know I can bring lots of inspiration to the group= because I am there and have been there- I am already down 66lbs from a start weight of 350! Nothing motivates me more on this site than others who have lost more than I currently have- or who have lost as much as I want to lose!

Someone once said it so well- we have a different set of emotional issues we are dealing with vs. someone who has 20 or 30 lbs to loose. I could write a book about what I've gone through in my life so far. Some ways that it has effected me:
- growing up feeling alone and isolated.
- being teased in school and at home
- having no self esteem
- avoiding gym class at all costs- especially when we did our swimming unit
- skipping eating lunch at school because i was too embarressed to eat in front of others
- never going on a date or being asked out
- never going to a single school dance
- having my "best friends" tease me
- having my best friends share sodas together- but they refused to let me drink out of their glasses because I was "gross"
- having a cousin call you "sledge hammer" all the time when you jumped on their trampoline and having your aunt and uncle not say and word and just ignore it.
- not fitting very well in the desks at high school
- hearing someone in 6th grade say behind your back, "I bet she weighs 200lbs" and realizing at that very moment- that there was no fooling anyone- people knew how much you really weighed.
- being able to wear your moms clothes in 6th grade



as I got older- things changed..
- How pathetic is it to have to say that I've never dated anyone I haven't met online?
- going out with your healthy sisters and having a group of guys hit on them- and the ENTIRE group completely ignores you- as if you aren't even a person and aren't even there
- hearing guys making bets with each other at the table behind you on which one is going to "go hit on the fat girl"
- realizing that men stop and hold doors and go out of their way to be polite and nice for your healthy sisters/friends- and how rude they are to you.. especially when you're alone.
- realizing you can't fit into rides at amusement parks
- realizing you can't do active things with your children
- realizing that you've allowed yourself to let your children learn your bad habits and see them going down the same path
- being pregnant and having family members comment on how they cant even tell your pregnant when you're 9 months along, "well you never look very pregnant.. you always just look big" (gee thanks!)
- having your joints make funny (bad) noises everytime you walk up a stair
- being embaressed to go out to eat- especially at a buffet
- prefer to stay home- rather than go out and be seen in public
- not be able to buy the clothes YOU really want- but instead are stuck finding something that fits and usually looks old-ladyish, doesn't fit right or is extremely overpriced
- HATE clothes shopping and come home crying because you realize in the fitting room mirror that it doesn't matter WHAT you wear- there is no way to hide the way you really look.
- going out with a bunch of friends to the movies and being mortified because they make a joke of the super skinny guy sleeping with a very large woman and having everyone mock him for it etc... Don't get me started on Shallow Hal either...
- being mortified when you see pictures of yourself and realize that you don't look like the 150lb person you see in the mirror staring back at you. (realizing that you really ARE THAT big)
- doing anything you can to avoid eating in front of people
- getting into huge fights because your healthy family doesn't understand why you don't want to walk up to the window at the ice cream store and order ice cream for everyone and bring it back to the car
- having your blood pressure taken at pregnancy check-ups and having a note in your chart for the nurses to make sure they use the really really large cuff
- having an ultrasound done and having the tech make you hold up your stomach flab so she can get better pictures- but missing the seeing the entire thing on the tv- because you can't see it over your stomach
- constant yeast infections between skin folds- no matter how much you shower
- having others not realize why you don't just "jump up"= i mean really? I'd like to see them tie gallons of water around their wastes and arms and legs to equal the extra weight I carry- and then i'd like to see them TRY and make it through one day!
- Holding up all of your stomach 'fat' to get a glimpse of what it would feel like if the weight wasn't there anymore
- feeling self conscious knowing that i breathe loudly and quickly get out of breathe and the worst is when someone says, "are you ok?" and look at you like you're about to have a heart attack. "No really, I'm fine- I just walked quickly down the hallway"
- seeing pictures of yourself and seeing that you don't have any facial features- it's just all covered in fat
- the dreaded double and triple chin
- feeling like you aren't a person
- getting into cars and wondering if the seat belts are going to fit around you or choke you to death
- being so ashamed to do "mundane" things, like wait in line to get on an elevator. and you can't help but think that people are giving you those looks and wondering, "she should be taking the stairs!" or avoiding getting on elevators with people in them because you are so ashamed knowing they are probably thinking, "oh god, here comes the fat girl.. hope it can hold it"




I am 30. I have 3 beautiful daughters (ages 9, 3 and 1). I am an entrepreneur and own my own company. I am also a full-time college student. I could sit here and write for hours all of the things I've gone through and the countless pain it has caused me. There was a point 6 or so years ago that there was a big campaign out for learning to accept your curves etc... and I bought into that for a long time- that i was fine just how I was.. and then one day I realized- sure curvy girls are sexy- but there is a BIG HUGE difference between a healthy curvy girl and a girl who is morbidly obese. I began to become repulsed- and that is what sorta kicked my butt to get things changed. I was repulsed by others who looked the same as me- so why shouldn't I be repulsed by who I had let myself become? I was tired of being looked at in public as a monster.

At my lowest point in my life- I was 353lbs. Simply by cutting out fast food- I dropped 100lbs. And then through 2 pregnancies and a few years- I yo-yo'd between 250 and 199.. I'd get back up to 299 and it'd freak me out- because it was the dreaded 300 that i swore i'd never get to (and i did) and so it would kick my butt into gear and I'd drop back down to 250... but then the emotional problems came through- and people would start to notice the weight and make comments about how great i was looking- and I felt like my wall was down- so I'd start gaining the weight back and rinse and repeat.

I've since dealt with those emotional issues and found myself angry thinking about how many times i'd lost those 50lbs... if i had just kept loosing without gaining- i would have been at my goal weight LONG LONG AGO! So thankfully, here I am now- 66lbs down... and so proud of that! My family is a huge support system for me and I honestly don't know where I would be without MFP!

How much can I inspire you?