Internet Dating

Earlier today, I posted a comment asking my MFPers whether or not they thought online dating was a good thing (I asked because there are not a lot of guys up to my standards around me and I was wondering if online dating should be an option).

Well ... I started getting the most hilarious responses. Like this one:

"I went on two dates through an online dating site. One guy was kinda creepy and wouldn't tell me what he did for a living except to tell me he worked nights as a "cleaner" (he used his fingers to make the quotations marks when he said cleaner), and the other told me he used to be a male prostitute who slept with other men for money and still spoke to a few of his regulars. Needless to say I haven't tried online dating again."

What is your most hilarious story concerning online dating and the guy/girls that you met through a dating site. I need a good laugh ... keep them coming, please!!
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Replies

  • letswalk
    letswalk Posts: 32 Member
    I met a guy online and we exchanged phone numbers.....turns out all he wanted was phone sex. As soon as I found that out, I hung up on him and changed my number! LMAO!
  • Pebble321
    Pebble321 Posts: 6,423 Member
    I have had lots of internet dates - and am now married to a lovely man that I met on Match.com four years ago.

    If I leave aside the ones who were just creepy or who were "separated but still living with the wife" (code for married, I soon learnt!)...
    the oddest time was when I complimented my date on his shoes (Doc Martins I think, and rather cool) and he said "don't worry, they aren't dead men's shoes". That's when I found out he worked as an undertaker!
  • hillm12345
    hillm12345 Posts: 313 Member
    I tried a couple of online dates before meeting my now fiance.. and apparently neither one of them could read. Both of them were the exact opposite of EVERY bullet point I was looking for. Needless to say, my online dating career didn't last long .
  • astina2727
    astina2727 Posts: 149 Member
    I didnt online dating 2 times, the first guy i actually moved out of state for....he was a crazy for sure and I moved back home...however the second man i dated we talk for one year over the phone almost every night. I fell madly in love he actually moved over to me in my state and we have been together ever since. january will be 3 years together and 4 years of knowing one another. I really do think its good lol
  • RubyRubixcube
    RubyRubixcube Posts: 258 Member
    I met a bf (lasted 2+ years) on myspace, he moved over from the other side of the country to come live with my mom and I, unfortunately he had to go back home after losing his job here and it put too much strain on us after him being around for so long going back to long distance was a deal breaker. It can work, I've known people to be married for years from online dating... I guess its just another way to meet people now :)
  • monicalosesweight
    monicalosesweight Posts: 1,173 Member
    Oh, I have a whopper. I joined Eharmony and met what I though was a really nice guy. We shared common interests...even talked a bit on the phone. Well, we finally arranged to meet and then I get an email from the Eharmony site where he told me he'd changed his mind. Apparently, he'd found his calling....I'm not joking.....he decided to become a priest. That was definitely funny. I was actually very skinny and attractive at that point. I don't know if he was just seeing if he'd be tempted or what. Needless to say, I didn't renew my membership.
  • GO_NadZ_xO
    GO_NadZ_xO Posts: 445 Member
    I met my current boyfriend online. He moved half way across the country and lives with a friend near me! We've had out ups and downs. He misses his family and we get sick of each other sometimes. Some days I wish we were still Long distance! haha.
    But I love him loads and I think we'll be okay :D
    Not funny, but yeah, thats my life story lol.
  • nothing1994
    nothing1994 Posts: 1,936 Member
    I met my current boyfriend online. He moved half way across the country and lives with a friend near me! We've had out ups and downs. He misses his family and we get sick of each other sometimes. Some days I wish we were still Long distance! haha.
    But I love him loads and I think we'll be okay :D
    Not funny, but yeah, thats my life story lol.


    Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... sooooooooooooo CUTEEEEEEEEE



    I Need some loving :cry:
  • _Sara_A_
    _Sara_A_ Posts: 113 Member
    My previous 2 boyfriends as well as my current boyfriend I met online. My current boyfriend and I have known each other since January 1st, 2012, and have been living together since May. Both of the other guys I met I dated for a few months each. My family loves my boyfriend and if they could they would gladly adopt him, infact my dad asked me how come I didn't meet him 10 years ago? lol
  • Mine is funny how I even met my boyfriend. I was on all the dating sites and I kept getting guys from Brazil etc wanting me to date them. I'm like ummm hello.......USA here not Brazil or Africa or where ever. Some guys would IM me and then I'd read their profile and they would say I do not want to date fat chicks. I'm like -.- did you not read or look at the pictures...I was honest and said hey I'm not skinny photos prove it. So I gave up on it. I started playing online multi player games due to some coworkers at work wanting to play. I then go on Second Life and started to play that as well. Met a couple of odd balls, but then lo and behold one day I met my boyfriend on there. We started talking, found out he lived in the same state as me, and we hit off since then. Been dating since March. We hardly even play the game anymore, and I never would have imagined I would find someone playing a video game.
  • GO_NadZ_xO
    GO_NadZ_xO Posts: 445 Member
    I met my current boyfriend online. He moved half way across the country and lives with a friend near me! We've had out ups and downs. He misses his family and we get sick of each other sometimes. Some days I wish we were still Long distance! haha.
    But I love him loads and I think we'll be okay :D
    Not funny, but yeah, thats my life story lol.



    Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... sooooooooooooo CUTEEEEEEEEE



    I Need some loving :cry:

    haha all you need is a playstation 3, COD and internet connection haha!
  • jkc041709
    jkc041709 Posts: 31 Member
    About 5 years ago I was on Match.com. I was talking to/emailing two guys. The first guy was great - he and I had a lot in common and I really couldn't wait to go on a date with him. The second was intriguing but we had nothing in common and I just couldn't see it going anywhere but I figured a date wouldn't hurt.

    The first guy and I had our first date on a Sunday. We meet at the local Applebee's (super classy lol). When we meet up there he was about 10 minutes late and told me that his friend dropped him off because he didn't have a car. That's when I thought I smelled alcohol on his breath but figured I was just being crazy. After he commented on liking "the geometry of my face" (I couldn't make that up if I tried lol) and pounded back the drinks I started to realize that I wasn't crazy and he actually showed up to our date drunk. Turns out we really didn't have much in common and it was just really awkward. Finally the end of the date arrives and I just want to get ou

    Sorry this got so long lol!! Basically, there is a chance you may come across a real "winner" like guy number one but there are guys like number 2 out there as well. Good luck with whatever you decided!! :)
  • nothing1994
    nothing1994 Posts: 1,936 Member
    I met my current boyfriend online. He moved half way across the country and lives with a friend near me! We've had out ups and downs. He misses his family and we get sick of each other sometimes. Some days I wish we were still Long distance! haha.
    But I love him loads and I think we'll be okay :D
    Not funny, but yeah, thats my life story lol.



    Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww... sooooooooooooo CUTEEEEEEEEE



    I Need some loving :cry:

    haha all you need is a playstation 3, COD and internet connection haha!


    I HAVE THOSEEE, but no man... or woman... or anythinggg!!!!!!!!!!! :sad: :sad: :sad:
  • CarleyLovesPets
    CarleyLovesPets Posts: 410 Member
    Guy asked me out, but then he made it into a double date and brought a RIDICULOUSLY SEXY FRIEND.
    Guy said he was 5'6 - and he was my height (5'3).
    All he talked about was how he was on welfare and lived with his parents.
    Bought two 50 dollar shirts with said government welfare money.
    Kept trying to hold my hand.
    Told me I have beautiful hair and then started to PET ME.
    Went out for dinner and was the slowest eater I have ever seen (we had to wait around 20 extra minutes then everyone else for him to finish, wtf?)
    Then he kept drinking my drinks that were rather expensive.
    At the end he even said "I'm going to come home with you tonight" and cuddled up to my arm... I laughed and said "No. No, you're not".

    Next day he texts me "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?" Like he was my father or something.

    Yeah, he didn't get a second date.
  • johns0227421
    johns0227421 Posts: 26 Member
    I've had a lot of good dates I've meet from online sites. But most often I meet people who want me to pay their bills :-(
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
    I met my husband on a site (can't remember it and it doesn't exist now) in July 2006, months later we started talking on the phone, he proposed to me on the phone in April 2007, we met for the first time in person in July 2007, and got married in a court house in November 2007. I moved to where he's from in Indiana when we got married, went through a deployment in January 2009-2010, we move closer to my family in Arkansas in February 2011. Our 5 year wedding Anniversary is in November :heart:
  • Met an interesting one who made it to date 3 (impressed right there? I was!) He was a little full of himself, but thought hey why not... Met him at his place because he was going to make dinner for us both after I'd had a killer week at work and didn't want to contemplate going out for dinner an dressing up.
    Long story short, got there, he was drunk, he lived in a bungalow out the back of his parents place (he was 33), he bought all the food and couldn't cook (so I had to cook while he watched tv getting drunk)....then he introduced me to his childhood teddy bear that he slept with................... BAM I'M OUT! Changed my number and never returned to the bar i met him at.
  • monicalosesweight
    monicalosesweight Posts: 1,173 Member
    So have we lived up to your expectations? Are you laughing enough yet?
  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
    I once dated a guy I'd met online for a few months. He was a cool dude but he had some anxiety issues. After a few months I decided I wasn't feeling it any more and I broke up with him. His anxiety response kicked in and... he vomited. Several times. Throughout the whole breakup. MOST AWKWARD THING EVER.

    However, I also met my current boyfriend online through a dating site. We've been together for over a year and I couldn't be happier :) Luck of the draw!
  • suzieqcookie
    suzieqcookie Posts: 314 Member
    i have two great ones:

    first guy stared at my chest for almost the entire date then blurted out "i hate big breasts, they're just repulsive. Seriously.. those (pointing to mine) are just GROSS!!" THEN we split the bill, there was an extra nickle left over, he thought my drinks were more expensive and i told him he could eat that nickle.

    next guy i dated we call George (as in the bug bunny cartoon "i will love it and pet it and squeeze it and love it) because he had to at ALL TIMES have atleast one finger on me. At one point i got up to take a call and my pony started slipping out, so i took it off and he gasped! (he was following me closely) then came running up behind me, scooped up my hair in his hands and smelled it...big deep breath... then fanned it out across my back, scoop, smell, twist it around in his hand... ugh.
  • Dyetcoke1
    Dyetcoke1 Posts: 54 Member
    If u are young I hear one in 5 relationships start online. But I tried the over 40 sites....all 40 plusses want twenty somethings...no matter how balding pudgy, uneducated or poor. My advice DO NOT reply to the freetrial (usually lowest rank in site). They are SOO Cheap dont want to go anywhere (that would cost money) and tend to "like" hikes, hunting, fishing...again, cheap and just want to do what they like, not you.
  • Mr_Bad_Example
    Mr_Bad_Example Posts: 2,403 Member
    Once, I went on a date with a girl who told me that she had two dogs... and that she set places for them to eat with her at her kitchen table. Every evening. Not once in a while, mind you... but every single evening of her life.

    I never did take a chance on a dinner date at her place... but if I had, I would have brought some Milk Bones.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    I met my husband on Match.com, so it can work. BUT!

    But before I came across him, I also met a man who cried when the Pens lost the Stanley Cup. Cried. Like his mother had died in a fire -- that ended out month long love affair. I also met a man who "wanted to make my insides vibrate". He was hot, so I was I like "ALRIGHT!". And he TOTALLY did. Then I realized he was about as interesting as a rock and my insides needed a break from vibrating.

    ETA: bjleech is my husband and I've never heard that story...
  • Mr_Bad_Example
    Mr_Bad_Example Posts: 2,403 Member
    I met my husband on Match.com, so it can work. BUT!

    But before I came across him, I also met a man who cried when the Pens lost the Stanley Cup. Cried. Like his mother had died in a fire -- that ended out month long love affair. I also met a man who "wanted to make my insides vibrate". He was hot, so I was I like "ALRIGHT!". And he TOTALLY did. Then I realized he was about as interesting as a rock and my insides needed a break from vibrating.

    ETA: bjleech is my husband and I've never heard that story...

    I told her that story, she just didn't remember because there are so many. But, how did anh720 pass the test to become my wife? When I asked her out to see the movie "Zack and Miri Make a Porno", she said yes without blinking. If a girl takes you up on a date to see a movie that has 'Porno' in the title, she's a keeper.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    I met my husband on Match.com, so it can work. BUT!

    But before I came across him, I also met a man who cried when the Pens lost the Stanley Cup. Cried. Like his mother had died in a fire -- that ended out month long love affair. I also met a man who "wanted to make my insides vibrate". He was hot, so I was I like "ALRIGHT!". And he TOTALLY did. Then I realized he was about as interesting as a rock and my insides needed a break from vibrating.

    ETA: bjleech is my husband and I've never heard that story...

    I told her that story, she just didn't remember because there are so many. But, how did anh720 pass the test to become my wife? When I asked her out to see the movie "Zack and Miri Make a Porno", she said yes without blinking. If a girl takes you up on a date to see a movie that has 'Porno' in the title, she's a keeper.

    Well, I used to make them, so.... :drinker:

    But seriously, time to stop threadjacking.
  • I met the guy I am currently with online. I spilled coffee on him on the first date and he still asked me out for a second date.
  • conkle23
    conkle23 Posts: 171 Member
    I met a girl off myspace when I was younger. She told me to come hang out with her at this hotel cause her sister was getting married so that is where she was staying. Well we ended up having sex the night we met, and she cried right after we had sex (AWKWARD, she felt like a *kitten* she said) haha well short story, we ended up being together for almost 2 years, my first love. And now to this day she is still one of my good friends hahah.
  • browneyedgirl7928
    browneyedgirl7928 Posts: 910 Member
    I didn't meet this guy online, it is a funny story.

    I was at a local show for a poplar local band that I am not a fan of. All my friends went and so I went too. After nearly getting dropped down the stairs by security I was having just a crappy night. Since this band is so popular it was very crowded. I was getting trampled on left and right. I was trying to make my way to a corner and stay put until it was over and this nice guy comes and holds the crowd off me while I get through. After the show was over we got to know each other and he asked me out. I said sure -- he was fairly good looking and what I thought was a nice guy so we exchange numbers. Bad idea.

    Guy was seriously obsessed with texting and calling. So much so it was getting on my nerves and I wanted to cancel the date. I'm picky and my friends said give it a chance and just ignore the texts and calling.

    Day of date I'm getting dolled up and he's texting me throughout the day, I reply occasionally. I'm headed out the door to get in my truck when he texts me -- he's at HuHot, does he mind if I pay for my dinner. I don't mind going dutch on the first date, but I prefer for that to be discussed ahead of time and he had plenty of times to ask me in his 5000 text messages over a two day period.

    I arrive at HuHot and he already has a drink and some food ordered. Gee thanks for waiting. But that didn't shock me the most. His arm is in a big black sling from his shoulder to his hand!! I was like what the heck happened to you? Proceeds to tell me he fell in the shower that day and separated his shoulder. I was like and you didn't feel it was necessary to tell me that today when you texted and cancel the date? He said he wanted to keep the date no matter what. I would have understood canceling for a separated shoulder. HuHot is the last place we should be for a date. I'm in a wheelchair and need help carrying my bowls, he's down to one arm, he can barely carry his own bowls at this point, but we got it to work. Food was good. Conversation was lousy.

    Like his texts he just didn't shut up the entire time. I just smiled and nodded and wanted the date to end. I didn't know people could talk about themselves and so much. TURN OFF (literally and physically!)

    Waitress brings the bill, but there is only ONE bill, MINE? I was like he ate too, how come you don't get a bill? Tells me he prepaid before I got there. WHAT? You can do that? He's like I do that all the time at restaurants so I can leave right away when I'm done eating. Yet, you are waiting for me to pay MY bill. HuHot is one of my favorite restaurants and I have never prepaid nor ever had the option to prepay. After telling this to friends they guessed he had a coupon for a free meal and used that before I got there. Classy!

    I'm getting in my truck and he wants a kiss. I'm like uh uh, no way. I was still in shock over the prepaying. I found it odd and yet funny at the same time.

    I really thought candid camera was following me. First the text asking me to pay, then the arm brace, then telling me at the end he prepaid, and me not saying two words all night. This couldn't possibly be a real date!!

    That was our one and only date!
  • ItsMeMaryW
    ItsMeMaryW Posts: 119 Member
    Not funny but recently I was talking to a guy that really was chasing me hard. He wanted me to friend him on Facebook. I have pictures of my weightloss on there so I really didn't want to be friends. He insisted and I finally gave in and sent a friend request but first I asked if he could handle my pictures. Oh yes he had no problems at all with my weightloss.... As you can guess, he has not talked to me since. This is not the first time guys have gone away after they know I've lost weight. Really??? I am healthier and more fit than I have ever been in my life...
  • AeiriMuse
    AeiriMuse Posts: 254 Member
    Heh. I have quite the story about my boyfriend and I. When I was 11, I got my very first internet connection to the family computer. I loved to write so I joined some MSN RP groups. (RP = Role play. However, not the kind of role play adults do... not exactly. It was for story content rather than sexual content. lol) I became involved with a lot of wolf rp groups (I loved and still love wolves.) and ran into a good friend of mine named Trace. She turned around and, over an AOL chat room, introduced me to Jake. He was 9 at the time and apparently he used to be intimidated by my ability to type fast and my writing.

    We've kept in contact off and on ever since. During high school, it turns out we both had super crushes for one another but never actually had the guts to say anything. Then the hurricanes hit Louisiana and he fell of the grid for a couple years.

    Then, two years ago, about this time of the year actually, I get a random text, "Is this Nona?" It turns out it was him after a long journey of stalking me online for about a month trying to figure out how to contact me again. (Yay for an old DeviantArt message.) We talked for about a month over Skype after he taught me how to use it. Spent more and more time, every day, talking to one another.

    We fell back into crushing on each other almost immediately. Finally, one night before hanging up, I instinctively said, "I love you." It brought us to talking about our old crushes on one another and finally the decision to date even though it was online and long distance. After a year and two visits (My visit there to meet his family at Christmas and his trip here to visit my family right before my birthday) he decided to move here with me. I've never been happier and we've recently (2 months ago) moved out of my dad's house and on our own with roommates. :)