38, tall, dark and well....not too bad

agriffiths73
agriffiths73 Posts: 108 Member
in Introduce Yourself
Hi - I'm Andrew, 38 and in need of losing some weight. I'm one of the people who at 6' 2" and 240lbs is always told they are obese! I don't feel obese and when I stand up straight, I don't look it either - but I've got tired of counting the chins in the mirror, and having to breathe in to get the belt done up, and run out of breath all the time.

In November 2010 I became a dad, and now he's got to the age he is into everything and going everywhere I want to be able to keep up with him, that means losing the flab that's above my belt preventing me from leaning all the way down, and getting fitter so I'm not about to pass out after 5 mins of exercise.

I've already lost about 10 lbs in a month by cutting out bad food, alcohol, and reducing meal portion size (my wife hasn't even noticed, and seems to raise an eyebrow when I say what I'm doing, like it won't last) and I'm committed to making this the last time I have to lose weight, and keep it off.

I joined a gym at the start of this year, and went a load, but work demands I travel sometimes, and I got ill a couple of times, so it was intermittent at best. I also get up in the night when the little guy wakes, and get him back to sleep, and get him up in the morning after putting him to bed at night, so now I don't get to leave home early enough to get to the gym, have a work out and get to work, and my wife doesn't get up for over an hour after I do, so I can't just get the little guy up and hand him to mum and go.

So, now I have to find time in my busy day to try to get to the gym (I've also got my pushbike back on the road, which was greeted by another eyebrow raise at home...and will use this when back from my hols twice a week to go from our home to our stables, do a boxing workout and cycle home).

I don't get to go out, I don't have a circle of friends, and don't get any support or encouragement at home, so figured I'd find some in the anonymity of the Internet.
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Replies

  • Slendermike
    Slendermike Posts: 1,776 Member
    You sound like me 180 days ago. I am 6'2" 41 yrs old and weighed 249lbs. Aftr joining this site, I am nor 202 and have a great support system and friends. I eat healthy, drink tons of water and work out but I have been slacking lately. A little more support is always a good thing - friend request sent
  • ashblonde1
    ashblonde1 Posts: 31
    Well, you have come to the right place.

    I am sure your wife doesn't mean to be unsupportive. She is probably just pre-occupied with the baby and the household, etc.

    How much would you like to lose? I am not a big believer in gyms as being the most important aspect of this process, and I think you will find it easier if you try to do things that incorporate your child and work around your busy lifestyle.

    Have you thought about getting a baby seat for your bike so that you can pull your son along? Or do the 30 Day Shred at home. It take 23 minutes, and it works. It is circuit training with small weights. I really like it because my boyfriend is not into outdoor activities (he plays soccer once a week with his friends) but he does this at home with me and swears by it.

    If you need anyone to talk to, let me know.

    :)
  • agriffiths73
    agriffiths73 Posts: 108 Member
    Preoccupation seems to be more Facebook related - as it's me that does the housework when I get home and at the weekends.

    And Mike - STOP SLACKING!!! :)

    Thanks for the welcome, and I've looked at getting the wee man on the bike, but it's just too dangerous on narrow lanes with nutters in Range Rovers too busy with texts to notice people on a bike.

    I've got some stuff at home that I'll put up at the stables, and we're planning to move soon too if our house sells, so I'll rebuild my old gym setup at the new house, it's in storage at the mo, so I can just go and use that when I need to.

    I have noticed that I can sit closer to my desk these days :)
  • Jimmytreatingtons
    Jimmytreatingtons Posts: 128 Member
    Had to check this post twice as i though someone had copied my story! lol

    Seriously know exactly how you feel and the reasons you are doing it. Made an effort 2 years ago and dropped 4+ stone put some back on as I wasn't happy with how I felt and neglected myself whilst putting it back on for various reasons. I have kept up with the gym Spinning classes and that ticked me over until a few weeks back when I chose to get back on the horse.

    Loads of people on here with a huge amount of opinions and massive amount of support that I am sure you will find useful.

    Welcome to MFP Good luck with your adventure!
  • sarahcuddle
    sarahcuddle Posts: 349 Member
    Have you tried really talking to your wife about how you feel? It's going to be hard if you haven't got her to back you up. You can certainly find friends to support you on here. I think this site is great. It's helped me lose a stone (14lb) so far. You can do stuff at home like exercise dvd'd and stuff and there are some good clips on utube covering workouts. I have kids and they are off school for the holidays at the moment which makes exercising difficult when I have to look after them. I have started running, the couch to 5K programme (www.NHS.uk). They have podcasts you can download to an mp3 player or mobile phone and introduce you gradually to running. It only takes half an hour and I do it in the evening when I have someone to watch the kids. Alternatively I take them to the park, or swimming. Could you walk /jog with the pram? Logging all your food is the most important thing though.

    Hope this helps, good luck

    Sarah
  • agriffiths73
    agriffiths73 Posts: 108 Member
    Hi Sarah - running isn't for me, but will look at a lot of other alternatives. And the little guy prefers to walk, so I get some reasonable exercise picking up 20kgs of wriggling person and depositing him on my shoulders, or holding him on my hip, or chucking him in the air.

    Tried to talk a load, but just doesn't get anywhere ('I don't understand calories, I just eat what I want and eat sensible amounts, and don't overeat')
  • knightreader
    knightreader Posts: 813 Member
    request sent, it's long, but explains how i was in your shoes.
  • agriffiths73
    agriffiths73 Posts: 108 Member
    request sent, it's long, but explains how i was in your shoes.

    Ah, so that's why I couldn't go to the gym this morning - you were in my shoes :)......
  • wisters
    wisters Posts: 84 Member
    request sent, it's long, but explains how i was in your shoes.

    Ah, so that's why I couldn't go to the gym this morning - you were in my shoes :)......

    LOL!!!
  • jen_bd6
    jen_bd6 Posts: 501 Member
    Welcome. You came to the right place! :) I wish you luck in your journey, and I am sure you can find many people here who could help to provide the support needed to help you be successful.
  • 7funnygirl7
    7funnygirl7 Posts: 1,176
    You have to do this for "you" and nobody else... If you want the success, you gotta own it all~the good, the bad, and the ugly! You're in the right place, now just make it right for YOU....Best wishes! :)
  • agriffiths73
    agriffiths73 Posts: 108 Member
    You have to do this for "you" and nobody else... If you want the success, you gotta own it all~the good, the bad, and the ugly! You're in the right place, now just make it right for YOU....Best wishes! :)

    Thank you - it is very much for me, so that I can be here for my little man, to feel good about myself, how I look, feel etc. Losing your hair is bad enough, but when your face looks like a partially deflated ball, yeah - that's time to change :)
  • Lauran845
    Lauran845 Posts: 71 Member
    I do not support whining about your wife in a public forum. I think you might need to get yourself right totally, not just weight-wise. I am not trying to make you feel bad about anything in your life either, I just see a lot of excuses and finger pointing. Look at your health, relationship and child as priorities in your life and personally you need to rank each of them by importance. You can schedule time to exercise, like you would any work meeting, you can take a walk during your lunch. Some exercise is always better than NO exercise. If your wife is as neglectful to you and your child as you make her out to be, hirer a babysitter while you go to the gym, or cancel your membership and take your child to a park and walk around the jungle gym while they play. Like another person suggested, get a dvd to work out at home.

    My point, and I apologize if I have offended in anyway, MOVE YOUR BUTT! Incorporate your family into your new healthy lifestyle and when your wife doesn't come out and congratulate you for trying to make positive changes, don't take it so hard. You didn't get where you are overnight, so an overnight change is probably not easy for her to accept. My husband doesn't eat and exercise beside me, but he understands when we eat different things for dinner because it is more important that we eat together than the same thing.
  • laurensgettingfit
    laurensgettingfit Posts: 41 Member
    welcome, pretty sure your not alone with the spouse who raises an eyebrow... haha I've seen it a few times on here and I experience it too. I don't really care, he can think what he wants when I lug my ab circle/door gym/etc through the door (....OK I did sneak them in).

    Welcome to most mother's problem (you must be a great help to your wife)- waking in the night, early mornings, etc and fitting in exercise with housework etc. Hubby and I "take turns" parenting, he gets a couple of hours to himself and I do too on weekends or whatever.

    As others have suggested exercise DVDs, home equipment is great with kids. You can do it when and if they ever go to bed, just don't let him/her have her daytime nap my son was June 2010 and if I don't give him a day nap he's in bed at 6pm easily. My daughter is nearly 4 so 7pm is always her bedtime if not earlier so that gives me the night to myself. Which then gives me 2-3 hours until I go to bed to do housework/exercise/etc

    Can I just say that it does get easier to find time as the kids get older. My older one is only just over 2 years older then yours and she is SOOOO awesome, she does exercise DVDs with me, loves to watch me exercise and it becomes normal. They used to bug me all the time to hold them on my lap while I was on the exercise bike now they're over it.
  • 69saab
    69saab Posts: 24 Member
    Same boat....
    6'2" Started at 282# beginning of the year, and now at 215'ish :-)
    Sending request... the more support the better.
  • eighty90
    eighty90 Posts: 4
    Hey! I don't know the protocol around here for "supportive" responses, but hopefully, you'll understand the positive intent: Of course, you're only presenting one side of the story, but... anyway: You put your son to bed at night. You get up in the middle of the night if your son wakes up. You wake up with him in the morning. You do all the housework when you get home from work. Your job requires travel... so I'll make the leap that your work is also full-time. Don't think you said anything about your wife's responsibilities, or what her days are like.

    It's possible that a BIG part of this process for you will be to learn how to negotiate... and, if need be, just take what you need for yourself (within the context of "reasonable" and "fair"). It sounds like you're a "Nice Guy". That's NOT a good thing. Being a good guy is a good thing. But... Nice Guys aren't really nice at all. They push down their own needs (usually for their wives and girlfriends) and are full of anger and resentment and passive aggressiveness because of it. And, a LOT of them are overweight because food helps them stuff down all their healthy assertiveness. It takes awhile, but you can get past all of this by loving yourself and treating yourself as the most important person in your life. You are. And then you'll be an awesome dad and a truly loving husband who can smile and kiss his wife when she raises an eyebrow. And THIS stuff... although you'll be doing it only for yourself... she'll definitely notice. Good luck!
  • agriffiths73
    agriffiths73 Posts: 108 Member
    I do not support whining about your wife in a public forum. I think you might need to get yourself right totally, not just weight-wise. I am not trying to make you feel bad about anything in your life either, I just see a lot of excuses and finger pointing. Look at your health, relationship and child as priorities in your life and personally you need to rank each of them by importance. You can schedule time to exercise, like you would any work meeting, you can take a walk during your lunch. Some exercise is always better than NO exercise. If your wife is as neglectful to you and your child as you make her out to be, hirer a babysitter while you go to the gym, or cancel your membership and take your child to a park and walk around the jungle gym while they play. Like another person suggested, get a dvd to work out at home.

    My point, and I apologize if I have offended in anyway, MOVE YOUR BUTT! Incorporate your family into your new healthy lifestyle and when your wife doesn't come out and congratulate you for trying to make positive changes, don't take it so hard. You didn't get where you are overnight, so an overnight change is probably not easy for her to accept. My husband doesn't eat and exercise beside me, but he understands when we eat different things for dinner because it is more important that we eat together than the same thing.

    Hi - I just said she wasn't supportive, not that I need her to come running out and hug me for each pound I lose. I have incorporated my son into the healthier lifestyle and I spend plenty of time with him when I'm home, I try to chose hotels with a gym so I can work out while I'm away - and I am moving my butt - thanks for the encouraging words.
  • aholly70
    aholly70 Posts: 577 Member
    HI You have come to the right place,my friends are not supportive at all,but my husband is so i'm lucky in that way.But I do eat different I have celiac diease,so I don't have alot of low calorie foods,but i weigh and measure everything,and i'v lost 11lbs.But i have to workout,I have a gym in my home plus about 20 DVD's,I don't like getting bored with working out. you may add me if you wish for support.
  • tinamatteson
    tinamatteson Posts: 125 Member
    If you stick to this and really see it through, your wife will notice and be impressed. Just keep at it, rather than talking about it. I did this with my husband (in the past I had started working out many times, only to give up a couple months in) and after I lost 25 lbs he was inspired to start exercising and losing some weight himself.
  • GaidenJade
    GaidenJade Posts: 171
    I do not support whining about your wife in a public forum. I think you might need to get yourself right totally, not just weight-wise. I am not trying to make you feel bad about anything in your life either, I just see a lot of excuses and finger pointing. Look at your health, relationship and child as priorities in your life and personally you need to rank each of them by importance. You can schedule time to exercise, like you would any work meeting, you can take a walk during your lunch. Some exercise is always better than NO exercise. If your wife is as neglectful to you and your child as you make her out to be, hirer a babysitter while you go to the gym, or cancel your membership and take your child to a park and walk around the jungle gym while they play. Like another person suggested, get a dvd to work out at home.

    My point, and I apologize if I have offended in anyway, MOVE YOUR BUTT! Incorporate your family into your new healthy lifestyle and when your wife doesn't come out and congratulate you for trying to make positive changes, don't take it so hard. You didn't get where you are overnight, so an overnight change is probably not easy for her to accept. My husband doesn't eat and exercise beside me, but he understands when we eat different things for dinner because it is more important that we eat together than the same thing.

    Sometimes I wonder if people ACTUALLY read the OP. He wasn't whining. He was telling us his story. :noway:
  • 21June
    21June Posts: 99
    Have you tried running though? My husband once weighed a bit more than you and never used to run but now loves it! He's also around your height and used to be a 42 inch waist but is now down to 34 inches! He also works out at the gym or exercise bike at home and sometimes goes out on his road bike with a friend. Hope this helps and good luck with your weight loss journey. :smile:
    Hi Sarah - running isn't for me, but will look at a lot of other alternatives. And the little guy prefers to walk, so I get some reasonable exercise picking up 20kgs of wriggling person and depositing him on my shoulders, or holding him on my hip, or chucking him in the air.

    Tried to talk a load, but just doesn't get anywhere ('I don't understand calories, I just eat what I want and eat sensible amounts, and don't overeat')
  • llm1607
    llm1607 Posts: 58 Member
    I do not support whining about your wife in a public forum. I think you might need to get yourself right totally, not just weight-wise. I am not trying to make you feel bad about anything in your life either, I just see a lot of excuses and finger pointing. Look at your health, relationship and child as priorities in your life and personally you need to rank each of them by importance. You can schedule time to exercise, like you would any work meeting, you can take a walk during your lunch. Some exercise is always better than NO exercise. If your wife is as neglectful to you and your child as you make her out to be, hirer a babysitter while you go to the gym, or cancel your membership and take your child to a park and walk around the jungle gym while they play. Like another person suggested, get a dvd to work out at home.

    My point, and I apologize if I have offended in anyway, MOVE YOUR BUTT! Incorporate your family into your new healthy lifestyle and when your wife doesn't come out and congratulate you for trying to make positive changes, don't take it so hard. You didn't get where you are overnight, so an overnight change is probably not easy for her to accept. My husband doesn't eat and exercise beside me, but he understands when we eat different things for dinner because it is more important that we eat together than the same thing.

    Sometimes I wonder if people ACTUALLY read the OP. He wasn't whining. He was telling us his story. :noway:

    Well said.

    Often some people don't know how to show support for fitness and weight loss.
    As everyone has said, you have joined the best place. People in the same boat, and know how your feeling. Well done on making the first step :-)
  • Mandie69
    Mandie69 Posts: 65 Member
    I have been over weight for quiet a few years and although I am 5ft 10" I was always told "yes but you are tall"!! however at 17 stone I decided that I needed to really sort myself out. Diets don't work as you stay on them, lose wieght and then stop and put it all back on and then some! I came back to MFP and gained support from other members that help you. Be hoest when you have had a day that wasn't too healthy and you will be amazed as to how well you do.
    The other thing I did was invest in a fitbit, i monitor the amount of steps I do in a day and then set myself goals as to how many I want to do each day and try to increase it...its all calaories burned and you will be surpried as to how competitive you will get with yourself. I starte doff hitting around 7k steps per day and now my average aim is between 16-18k per day which is burning about 600 cals (it also links in to MFP so helps with your targets ect.)

    Keep going as it will all be worth it and do it for you eventually your wife will appreciate you efforts when she see the changes in you both mentally and physically.
  • Philllbis
    Philllbis Posts: 801 Member
    I was in the same situation as you except I was a bit heavier. 7 months ago I was 255lbs at 6'1. Today, I'm still 6'1 (heh) but I'm at 176lbs. The key is finding something you can live with and sustain. Find an exercise program that interests you and when you get bored find something else to keep you moving. Find what works for you. Here are the things that worked for me,

    Water - drink lots! You hear this mentioned all the time. It not only makes you feel better, especially after working out but it helps with your skin.

    Exercise - You need to burn off the fat you've accumualted and exercise is the only way to do it. I hated it when I started out. I thought I couldn't do it. It was too tough, I was meant to be fat, etc.. I pushed through and you'll eventually get to the point where you know you can do it and might even actually enjoy it.

    Heart rate monitor - Get one! This is a great motivator and gives you more of an accurate measurement of calories burned. When you start to get fit you'll want this to make sure you're working enough to get a good workout.

    MFP- Log everything you put into your mouth! This is for you so if you have a bad day, log it. Log every day. Logging your food also keeps you accountable and you'll actually start thinking about what you're eating biefore you eat it.

    Stay positive! You'll have days when you don't feel it. Even on those days just keep at it. Consistency is the key here. Keep moving and watching your diet and you'll have fewer days when you don't feel motivated.
  • agriffiths73
    agriffiths73 Posts: 108 Member
    Hey Phill - thanks! That's where I've gone wrong a lot before I guess, got bored along the way and then the next thing I see is a spare chin - who needs spare chins?
  • Arilysal
    Arilysal Posts: 46 Member
    hello there, good luck on your journey and i understand when you have family who doesnt seem enthusiastic about supporting you in your new ways; it could be frustrating, angry even but dont be dishearten. When you do reach your goal you might be surprised to see them joining you! :)
  • wisters
    wisters Posts: 84 Member
    Well, you have come to the right place.

    I am sure your wife doesn't mean to be unsupportive. She is probably just pre-occupied with the baby and the household, etc.

    How much would you like to lose? I am not a big believer in gyms as being the most important aspect of this process, and I think you will find it easier if you try to do things that incorporate your child and work around your busy lifestyle.

    Have you thought about getting a baby seat for your bike so that you can pull your son along? Or do the 30 Day Shred at home. It take 23 minutes, and it works. It is circuit training with small weights. I really like it because my boyfriend is not into outdoor activities (he plays soccer once a week with his friends) but he does this at home with me and swears by it.

    If you need anyone to talk to, let me know.

    :)

    Please, please, please...be soooo careful when riding bikes on the road. I had a very dear friend hit by a motorist while he was cycling and I still can't believe that he is gone. He was riding in the late morning on a bright day, wearing proper gear (to be seen) on a country road and should have been safe.
  • wisters
    wisters Posts: 84 Member
    Hey Phill - thanks! That's where I've gone wrong a lot before I guess, got bored along the way and then the next thing I see is a spare chin - who needs spare chins?

    The "fat face", losing neck is a huge reason I got started! Makes perfect sense to me ;-)
  • MorganLeighRN
    MorganLeighRN Posts: 411 Member
    Welcome to MFP! You have come to the right place. I lost 10 lbs on my own but was stuck in a rut. I joined MFP and have lost 8 more lbs. I also just did my first half marathon on Saturday. You have to do this for yourself and for your son. Maybe if your wife sees you getting healthy it will motivate her! It has motivated my husband and my 7 y/o son (my son isn't over weight, he's a twig really, but it is teaching him great life long habits).

    Feel free to add me as a friend! And best of luck to you on your journey!!!
  • XstaciejoX
    XstaciejoX Posts: 1
    Hello Andrew,

    My name is Stacie. I just wanted to wish you the best of luck and I hope that after time your wife will give you the support you need and deserve.

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