Any Adults Who Are Living At Home???

Smiling_Sara
Smiling_Sara Posts: 203 Member
in Chit-Chat
I'm in a situation that I have been kind of bummed about. I'm 33, and have been living at home with my parents for a couple years, trying to save up enough money for a condo or small house. I haven't always lived at home. I moved out on my own at 19, moved back at 21, and out again at 23, and came back home at 31. Most days I am very great-ful that they have allowed me to stay here.
( I do pay them some money every month to help out with expenses. )

That all being said, I fear that my confined space has made me more bummier feeling and a little claustrophobic in my own living space. I went from an entire apartment to one room ( and some space in an attic )

I make decent money, but I am single. I know people who make it on less then I make, but they struggle, and someday soon I do want to buy a place of my own instead of putting money toward rent and somewhat struggling.

I sometimes feel like living here is giving me a complex though. Again, I don't have much room at all, my parents keep everything, ( not as bad as hoarders, but think a mild case of it )

Is anyone here in a situation like this? Or have been? How were things, how did they turn out? Please don't tell me I am alone in this. I need people I can relate too here, and I know one other person in real life who has had this happen to them.
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Replies

  • Leiki
    Leiki Posts: 526 Member
    I want to save money as well, so my bf and I are staying at his dad's place, and his dad is a hoarder. We used to have our own apartment last year, but pretty much all of our money went into the house, utilities, food, etc... Now we pay the bills and buy most of the food, and we stay rent free, so I understand your situation.
  • newadventuresofoldmascaria
    newadventuresofoldmascaria Posts: 3
    I'm the same age and also living at home. I'm saving up to go back to college though (since I never finished in the first place). It's not uncommon in this economy for adults to be living at home. It doesn't reflect badly on you as a person.
  • lukeout007
    lukeout007 Posts: 1,237 Member
    My wife and I are living with her parents with our 2 children as well. We originally moved in because her dad had cancer and needed help. His cancer is gone but now we've found that rent prices have gone up significantly and we can no longer afford rent. So we're saving to buy a house (which we've figured out can actually be cheaper monthly depending on how much we spend).

    So no...you're not alone. And yes...it does suck.
  • RMuske
    RMuske Posts: 271 Member
    I have moved in and out of my moms house quite a few times since I turned 18.. I was very appreciative of her help in those times. I don't make a lot of money and I rent. I would move back home in a heart beat if my mom and I didn't hate each other when we live together. I don't have cable or internet at my house because I am stingy and I don't make a whole lot of money but I get by and I really do love the independence. I say hang in there until you have the money to get the place you want. If that means hanging in there for a few more years so you can afford a home so be it.

    As long as you aren't like me and can't live at home I say why not?!
  • RobynMWilson
    RobynMWilson Posts: 1,540 Member
    I'm almost in the exact same situation. Moved out when I was 23, got married, divorced and 3 yrs after my divorce I got laid off from my job and had to move back home. It's NOT easy! They are not as clean as I am and although not hoarders, definitely clutter hounds! And they don't eat very well either and now that Mom is retired she's taken to stockpiling junk food in the house. So I've taken to cooking most of my weeknight meals ahead of time and freezing them for weeknight dinners. Most of my stuff is in storage but I, too, went from a house to a bedroom. And that's my only workout space so I downgraded my queen bed to a twin so that I can work out too. I feel your pain mama!
  • Maddi_InBetweenDays
    Maddi_InBetweenDays Posts: 177
    Hey! I am in a very similar situation. I got ill around 2008, lost my job because of it, so no apartment, no benefits, nada! I had to move a province away to live with my mom and stepdad. I have a small suite above their garage, but stuff like the kitchen is all shared in the main house. Thankfully there is no rent, I have my own expenses and I buy food etc. I was only able to find part time work and I recently lost that. I do feel bad, I see ppl my age having families and long term relationships and RRSP's etc. I am scraping to get by and really don't see an opening to get ahead or establish a future. It's a bummer. But, this situation has led me to get a handle on my health, start an exercise program and lose weight. I still need to get my butt in gear when it comes to my future.
  • CherryOnionKiss
    CherryOnionKiss Posts: 376 Member
    I think saving up for a house is pretty good move.
  • Cyngen
    Cyngen Posts: 557 Member
    I think you have a good plan in mind and working towards it. It's not easy in this economy. I've had my children move back now and again, they needed the help, I could help. Good luck. I think you'll do just fine.
  • maremare312
    maremare312 Posts: 1,143 Member
    Maybe you could find a roommate to share expenses if you want to move out? Save up what you can to improve stuff down the road?

    I've moved in and out from my mom's for various reasons. I worked as a fast food manager right out of high school, and when I decided to quit that I moved back in to go to college. I don't really feel like I live "at home" though since this isn't the house I grew up in and I just live with my mom (my dad has been out of the picture for a long time). I would rather live with my mom as my roommate than anyone else though, we get along well and stay out of each other's way. I actually have more of the house than she does.

    I do have a bf of almost 3 years, and neither of us are ready to move in together or get married (due to financial situations/job loss, and just our personalities and independence levels).
  • Dayna5K
    Dayna5K Posts: 136 Member
    I'm 34, been back with my parents for 2 months, doing the same as you and trying to save $$.

    In a lot of other cultures this is not unusual. Families stay together and help each other until they die. Nothing wrong with that :-)

    Follow your heart and do what you think is best for you and your family mentally, spiritually and financially. Screw what everyone else says.
  • MikeM53082
    MikeM53082 Posts: 1,199 Member
    I'm in a situation that I have been kind of bummed about. I'm 33, and have been living at home with my parents for a couple years, trying to save up enough money for a condo or small house. I haven't always lived at home. I moved out on my own at 19, moved back at 21, and out again at 23, and came back home at 31. Most days I am very great-ful that they have allowed me to stay here.
    ( I do pay them some money every month to help out with expenses. )

    That all being said, I fear that my confined space has made me more bummier feeling and a little claustrophobic in my own living space. I went from an entire apartment to one room ( and some space in an attic )

    I make decent money, but I am single. I know people who make it on less then I make, but they struggle, and someday soon I do want to buy a place of my own instead of putting money toward rent and somewhat struggling.

    I sometimes feel like living here is giving me a complex though. Again, I don't have much room at all, my parents keep everything, ( not as bad as hoarders, but think a mild case of it )

    Is anyone here in a situation like this? Or have been? How were things, how did they turn out? Please don't tell me I am alone in this. I need people I can relate too here, and I know one other person in real life who has had this happen to them.

    I think the most important question is what made you move home at the age of 31 when you had a decent paying job? I know people who have been laid off, foreclosed on their home, and had to move back in with their parents. I don't think I've met anyone that just decides to move home in their early 30's when they have a good paying job.

    Does your situation have anything to do with taking care of your parents? Taking care of an aging parent is definitely a valid reason for moving back home in your 30's.
  • nxd10
    nxd10 Posts: 4,570 Member
    I was at the other end of it - as the parent. And yeah, it can be hard for everyone. It can also be a way to get to know each other as adults.

    But it's often the best way to get what you want in the long haul. We always talk about how great it was in the past with multi-generational families. Then when people move in together to save money, we criticize them.

    Most people do this at some point in their lives. that's what families are for.
  • innocenceportrayed
    innocenceportrayed Posts: 569 Member
    I'm almost 22 and I live at home for a number of reasons:

    1. I was in a legal guardianship with my GREAT grandparents, yes, that says great.
    2. That being said, they took the time out of their retirement to raise me, so I WILL stick around to help them as they're getting older (83 &79--they have their 60th wedding anniversary this november!)
    3. They pay for my college(private college....about 9,500 a semester not including books -___- )
    4. I don't pay rent, I have my own apartment on the property, live completely separate by about 100 feet inbetween the houses. I have a boyfriend who is more than welcome to move in and he wouldn't pay rent either...infact my parents absolutely love him and are surprised we aren't married yet.

    I don't feel bad for living at home and it's not just because it's free(I have to work for it....they're able enough to do most things but I do cook and clean their house as I feel I owe them for everything I've become....except fat, that's my own fault. LOL
  • kiminikimkim
    kiminikimkim Posts: 746 Member
    If you've been living with your parents for a couple of years without paying rent, you should easily have saved $1000 - $1500 a month. By now you should have at least $24,000 for a downpayment.

    If you're unable to save $1000 a month, then I don't see you ever moving out because owning a home cost $1000+ per month (incl property taxes, utilities etc).

    If you're going to continue living there, at least pay your parents a decent rent, they deserve it.
  • MDawg81
    MDawg81 Posts: 244 Member
    I'm 31, and have a disability. My situation may be different than everyone being with parents because of the economy, but it sucks just as much. But no, you're not alone in the predicament.
  • paris458
    paris458 Posts: 229 Member
    I had lost my job, broke my leg and my bf left me with no way to pay for our place. I had to move back with my mom. I stayed there and went to school because it was easier and helped me save money. I just bought a 4plex in december and gave one unit to my mom for letting me stay there all those years.

    You are a girl no guy cares that you live at home. There are some cultures where a woman lives at home until she is married.

    Dont worry about what anyone else thinks. Its better you save money to buy your own place and have something someday then to throw it away on rent every month and still have nothing in a few years. Times are not the same as it used to be, its hard to afford living on your own.
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
    i live with my parents but i have 2 kids and i'm single and don't have a job.

    i see nothing wrong with saving money for your future.
  • Welshie_girl
    Welshie_girl Posts: 107 Member
    this is really disgusting. you have a job. move out. wow.

    Your bleached yellow hair is disgusting ... I deal with people all day long and it still amazes me how stupid they can be.
    As to the original post... No you are not alone...I moved out when I was 23 but my brothers stayed until now. My brother is 32 just moved out last month, my other brother is 36 saved enough to buy a house. So keep you head up and save save save so you can get out :)
  • KristysLosing
    KristysLosing Posts: 683
    While I cannot say I've been in that situation, I wish you the best. If I ended up on my own, it would be super tough. I have a coworker who has made it work after she got divorced, but they didn't own a house. While it seems we have jobs here, that's not always the case. Good jobs can be hard to find. Good luck my friend!
  • SoViLicious
    SoViLicious Posts: 2,633 Member
    I think you need to believe that you will be fine. Just make the commitment and move. You did it once you can do it again, this time will be better.
  • TanzaMarie
    TanzaMarie Posts: 94 Member
    I'm 31 and living at home and I get it. I was about to buy a house in 2009 and got laid off. Basically I am working part time while starting my own grant writing business My parents have been incredibly generous and understanding and we generally get along well, but I miss the independence I used to have. It is frustrating seeing other people look like the have their life together and are moving forward. Remember you are moving forward too, just differently. If you had no goals or ambitions that would be one thing, but that's not the case, hold your head high.
  • LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo
    LaMujerMasBonitaDelMundo Posts: 3,634 Member
    I'm already 33, single, have a job & still living with my parents but in my case since I came from 2 family oriented culture & don't live in the US so this is something to do with the culture though I also want to live by myself. Anyhow I don't see anything wrong with kids living on their own.
  • iiiEllie
    iiiEllie Posts: 224 Member
    I'm 24, I live in a duplex that my parents own. My boyfriend and I got lucky that my parents let us stay in the other side or the place for next to nothing, 250$ a month, all utilities included. I've always been lucky in the sense that my parents make sure I can have my space and distance while still maintaining a good relationship with them.

    I wish you well and there is NOTHING wrong with being at home to safe for your future, you're only 33, you aren't 50. Just make sure you are focusing on saving money for what you want in your future. The only way I stick to a budget and saving money is to write everything out monthly and stick to cash while throwing the rest into our savings account.

    Just make your time at home count so your future is what you want it to be.
  • Saffyra
    Saffyra Posts: 607 Member
    Owning a home is a lot more than just a down payment, let me say from experience!!

    I would suggest that maybe owning a home isnt the best thing for you but I dont know your true situation. Renting is NOT a bad thing!

    Also, if living with your parents is affecting your mood and outlook on life, its time to move out whether its into a house or not.

    I cant even tell you how happy I got once I left. Sure it was nice not to have rent but mentally and emotionally it was brutal. Moving out may have saved my life.
  • rhonniema
    rhonniema Posts: 522 Member
    I'm 24 and I'm still at home.
    You are not alone.
    Many, if not all my friends from college still live at home with their parents.

    I'm still at home because I live in NY so rent is not affordable on my salary.
    I only work part time (actively looking for another job).

    I do help my mother out with expenses though, so it's not like I'm squatting, even though I feel like I am sometimes.
    She is working on putting me on the deed though.

    ETA: Majority of the people that I work with are always complaining about struggling to pay the rent & I wouldn't want to be in that position.
  • txcaveman
    txcaveman Posts: 167 Member
    My situation:

    Married with a kid. Work is HARD! I have no free time to just do what I want... And my entire paycheck goes to paying bills. I can't even save very much money for expensive things like a bigger house, new car, or vacations.

    Did I say In order to just survive I've got to work A LOT! It's wearing me out.

    So, how did you do it... I mean convince your parents to let you move back home? I may give it a shot.
  • lilacsun
    lilacsun Posts: 204 Member
    If you've been living with your parents for a couple of years without paying rent, you should easily have saved $1000 - $1500 a month. By now you should have at least $24,000 for a downpayment.

    If you're unable to save $1000 a month, then I don't see you ever moving out because owning a home cost $1000+ per month (incl property taxes, utilities etc).

    If you're going to continue living there, at least pay your parents a decent rent, they deserve it.




    Depends on where a person lives. Here in Michigan you can buy a house for anywhere from $26000-$100000 the average house in a nice neighborhood $85000
  • sarahg148
    sarahg148 Posts: 701 Member
    SOOOOO not alone! I was in a relationship that ended. During that relationship I was living at his house, went back to school and had to put things on credit cards while I was in school. Got out of school, started working, broke up with no real money to get an apt so parents offered me my grandmother's place to allow me to save up and pay off all of my debt. I am SO greatful to them for that. Another two years or so and everything will be paid off. So I don't LIVE with them, but they are paying the utilities and such for me and I'm also in my 30s...so yes, it sucks and can be a blow to the ole ego...but I'd rather deal with THAT then claim bankruptcy or struggle with barely paying rent, loans, insurance (car AND health), CCs, food, gas, utilities, cable, Internet, blah blah blah. I do have a full time job, but it's by commission and isn't predictable.
  • andreamkelly
    andreamkelly Posts: 169
    My adult children are 28, 26 and 25... The 26 year old and her husband and two kids lived with us for 5 1/2 year saving up for a home of their own. Most of the time my daughter was going to college to get her degree. Last September after graduating in December, they moved out when they purchased their own home. I absolutely loved being able to have my grandchildren so close and seeing them as they grew. I know it was hard on them not having their own place, but they had the entire upper floor to themselves.. still not a lot of privacy though.

    We were empty nesters for about 4 months when the 28 year old moved home from out of state. He has been with us since January and not only is a great help around the house, he is helping us to finish landscaping the back yard. He is really anxious to get out on his own again, but knows it's not smart to leave until he can support himself without going into debt.

    I think you are really smart to save to buy your own place and be ahead of the game before you leave again. Good luck !!!
  • vmclach
    vmclach Posts: 670 Member
    If you've been living with your parents for a couple of years without paying rent, you should easily have saved $1000 - $1500 a month. By now you should have at least $24,000 for a downpayment.

    If you're unable to save $1000 a month, then I don't see you ever moving out because owning a home cost $1000+ per month (incl property taxes, utilities etc).

    If you're going to continue living there, at least pay your parents a decent rent, they deserve it.



    Depends on where a person lives. Here in Michigan you can buy a house for anywhere from $26000-$100000 the average house in a nice neighborhood $85000

    http://www.trulia.com/home_prices/Michigan/

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