Any Adults Who Are Living At Home???

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  • catshark209
    catshark209 Posts: 1,133 Member
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    Would it be any different if the OP was a man? I've met countless girls who would criticize men (who are even younger than the OP) that still live at home. I have a good friend that was online dating and would totally drop a guy if she found he was still living at home and over 30. Actually most women I know would do the same exact thing.

    It seems that women are the first to stick up for another women who still lives at home and are beyond critical when they meet a guy who's doing the same thing.

    Discuss.

    Not so. I wouldn't judge because I don't know what his situation is.
    I live at home right now. I live in the Stockton/Modesto area of California..look up our housing crisis and how bad crime and the economy are here. Stockton declared bankruptcy recently and it sucks azz here. I'm home because frankly I can't afford to even rent in a decent area...I can afford to live on my own in the rude ghetto(we had three homicides in three days), but I won't put my son through that. I pay my share of the bills and I help them out with the upkeep of the house. My father is 82 and can't get up on the roof to clean the gutters etc. I do it. They watch my son while I'm at work and I do the rest. Men will not date me once they find out I live at home, and people look down at me. Guess I would be "cool" if I was homeless?
    So yeah with the economy being the way it is here in California, I would never rule out a man just because he lives at home.
  • cherylhirons
    cherylhirons Posts: 37 Member
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    What is family for I would die for my children so I certainly will be there when they are in need! Oh yes and I move my husband and daughter in with my parents, we are finally back on our feet, and will be completely grounded when I can get a job, oh darn because I'm unemployed am I gonna get trashed now, because not being able to contribute financially to my family feels awesome! As for the first poster, do what you need to do to make your future more secure. If your parents are willing! When you get frustrated go workout, I think I ate when I got frustrated:(.
  • Ocarina
    Ocarina Posts: 1,550 Member
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    I could never do it!! Not in a million years. Even in desperate times. There's always a place to live for dirt cheap. Or roommates.

    I'm 24. Moved out at 20. I couldn't get a long with my parents for the life of me. And they scare me with how they conduct their lives. I'm way more mature then they are in their 50s.

    We get along great after I moved out! I haven't had any regrets in 4 years.

    I firmly believe you can save money anywhere. We save it by living cheaply, budgeting, and spending less. We do not live deprived lives... nor do we make a whole lot.

    I think that if you have doubts about it maybe you need a battle plan? There's nothing wrong with living at home but if you aren't happy that way then figure a way out to move on or out. Purchasing a house doesn't end all the bills or obligations to save. You still have to keep saving up and paying something... heat/gas, insurance, payment, taxes, and maintenance. You could rent for cheap and still save. Would be win-win.

    If anything, make sure you have a plan for your life. Nothing worse then just being in limbo and not taking advantage of the time you have.
  • pen_thief
    pen_thief Posts: 78 Member
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    With the way the current economy is, no one born after Jan. 1, 1980 should be criticized for living at home. It is Generation Y (commonly cited as birth years 1980-1994) that has taken the worst of the current economic downturn. Census data showed about 14.2% of all young people ages 25 to 34 are still living in their parents' homes as of 2011.

    http://finance.yahoo.com/news/Middleclass-income-fell-in-cnnm-1748504813.html?x=0

    http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2010/12/10/number-of-adult-americans-living-with-their-parents_n_795185.html

    It is harder for young adults to have independence. Unemployment is highest for those under 30 and the jobs that most 20 somethings have pay paltry amounts compared to the 20 somethings of 20-30 years ago.

    You've got that right. 27 and living at home because of school and emergency surgery medical debt (no insurance because I was in school and could barely afford the shirt on my back). My mom and I are like a team for now. She likes me living at home and we help each other out. We have our arguments but they're rare and we get over them quickly. I drive her to work and do my in-home job while she's at hers (transcription - the pay sucks, but at least I'm putting the English degree to use). I pay rent like you as well. I do a lot of cooking and overall handi-woman stuff. It's really hard out there for single people to even afford a one-room apartment that's halfway decent - especially if you've got any type of debt over your head. I'm talking about single people who can't land the $20 an hour jobs. The ones who gets stuck being waiters or doing what I'm doing because no one's hiring or you've been let go from the good job you had.

    I wish I'd never gone to college so I could at least have a chance on my own. I wish I'd have taken better care of myself in school so I didn't need the gallbladder removal surgery. But that's in the past, so what are you going to do? I've got to find joy in life somewhere, even if it's sitting having a cup of coffee, reading with a candle lit nearby. Money can bring temporary pleasure, but that does not equate to fulfillment with your life. So while I have goals for myself, I won't hate every day of my life and refuse to be happy just because I'm not there right now. It's pretty clear at this point that I'll need a partner to help me with expenses, but I don't believe in marriage for financial reasons. So for now, this is my sitch. I'm neither going to refuse to live nor give up on my goals. I'm just doing what I can for now, and anyone who doesn't approve is free to gtfo of my business.
  • sunrise611
    sunrise611 Posts: 1,850 Member
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    I did it for a while; lots of people do it to save money. There is no shame in it but it can be a difficult adjustment.

    Keep in mind that it is temporary and stay focused on your goal. That will make it easier.
  • AmyFett
    AmyFett Posts: 1,607 Member
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    I wish I was able to live with my mother, I really need her right now, but of course, I'm on my own completely with my kids, bleh
  • Sharyn913
    Sharyn913 Posts: 777 Member
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    You are NOT alone.

    When I was 20 years old, my then-boyfriend proposed after he finished Navy boot camp. When he completed all of his training and was stationed 700 miles away, we got married and I moved out (at 21) We BOUGHT our own house, with no help. 2+ years later, his father fell extremely ill, so he left the Navy and we moved home and back in with my parents who were just miles from his family. Nine months after we moved home, his father passed away. We moved back to Georgia (from MD) to try to save our house and set up life again in Georgia. Without the military, it was hard to find employment and make ends meet. Jobs were now scarce. We moved back home a second time and have been here now for two years. We live in one of the richest counties in the country and it's near impossible to even find a one bedroom apartment for under $1,000. We're trying... and our goal is to be out by the new year.

    But know there are a ton of people in your situation, it's not easy, and you are not alone!!
  • dottheallison
    dottheallison Posts: 42
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    24 living at home. Helped my folks move across the country almost 3 years ago and decided to stay. Doing my best to save money while paying off my car and helping with house bills. Since they don't allow me to pay rent, I also have my mom (who has a disability) on my cell phone plan in case for some reason the phone bill can't be paid and help with groceries and kids where I can.

    It's tough being a family of 8 (I'm the oldest of 6, my next youngest brother just moved back home) in this economy, on top of being in the age range that got screwed to begin with. But I'm workin' on it! I hope this isn't forever, but I'll probably be in my parents house until I pay off my car, figure out how to handle school loans, and decide which side of the country I want to stay on!
  • Smiling_Sara
    Smiling_Sara Posts: 203 Member
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    Thank you for all the replies. I will add more tomorrow, but I should say that I make a decent living in my area, and if it was matched with another person bills would not be a problem. I could prob make it on my own, in fact, not prob, I could, but it would be really tight, and I wouldn't be able to save much. I am doing this for my future, to ensure that I can purchase a place with enough of a down payment that my mortgage wouldn't be more than a 1/4 of my take home pay.

    And as to why I haven't saved money previously, I had some credit card debt, and a out patient surgery that cost me over $3000 out of pocket ( with my health insurance that cost me a little over $200 a month ) I wanted to clean up those things and then start stashing money, which I have been over the course of the last several months.

    Thanks for all the comments again everyone. =) I do have a plan, it's not written down, so I should get on that, but I do. I don't plan to just live with my folks forever.
  • TheMaidOfAstolat
    TheMaidOfAstolat Posts: 3,222 Member
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    Right now, in these trying times I think it has become the norm.

    My daughter and I live with my former in-laws. Yep, you read that right....my former in-laws. I had my daughter at 18, married at 19, divorced at 26. I have a degree in criminal justice and no agency or department has been hiring except interdepartmental changes in nearly two years. I refuse to work fast food or waitress because I want to spend time with my daughter. No sense having a job or career when you never see your family. My ex was lazy....he did sit around all day getting high, drunk, and playing video games. Those were some of the factors in why I left him.

    While living with my former rents can be tough at times, I appreciate everything they do for me and my daughter and in turn I do as much of the house work and lawn maintenance that I can. I take care of their pets while they are at work or on vacation. I do work on occasion and I pay for my own food, gas, car insurance...ect.

    Best of luck...just hang in there. Since you do not have a child or other dependent it wouldn't be too horrible to rent a small one bedroom for a while. If I were to rent I need to find a place that has two bedrooms and allows three dogs. Not easily done for under $2000 a month plus utilities.
  • recoiljpr
    recoiljpr Posts: 292
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    My wife and I worked our tails off for years to be where we are now (I worked two jobs and went to college). I know for the first 10 years of our marriage I was working 80+ hours a week at a job out of college I hated; but made really good money at. I missed a lot with our first 3 kids, honestly most of their early life. But, we saved every penny and lived incredibly meekly. Now though, those years have paid off. I was able to move to different job (with normal work hours) and my wife is now able to go back and finish her phd (she is still working as teacher as well) . We are able to very comfortably live now with our 4 kids, and spoil them (and ourselves). Sometimes its about what sacrifices are you willing to make now in order to be at a certain place further down the road. If I had it to do all over again, I would do the same thing because of the life it is now allowing us to live.

    I was raised by a single mom living on a Texas teachers salary and I lived my youth with my mom at my Grandmothers house. My wife and I have never have had to live with our parents; but we have had her parents at one point living with us and her brother & his wife. We helped them get back on their feet during those times and they are all doing well now in their own lives. I think family is about helping each other out and being there for each other. If there is a valid need, I don't see a single thing wrong with moving back in with your parents. I know with our 4 kids, we will be the same way.

    That being said, the free room/board/bills, etc will only last as long as our kids are working at moving their life forward (education, job, etc). I think it's only wrong if someone who lives with their parents is not actively working towards a goal but just freeloading.
  • PrincessNikkiBoo
    PrincessNikkiBoo Posts: 330 Member
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    bump
  • anaboneana
    anaboneana Posts: 195 Member
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    I'm home for the summer from college and I'm 20. It's strange because my parents know that I sometimes go out to drink (yes, underage...) and I feel the need to tell them where I'm going every time I walk out the door, even though they don't ask. I have a very good relationship with my parents though. They're the best - completely understanding of anything and eager to listen to me and give me advice freely about things most people would probably try hiding from their parents (drinking, sex, drugs, silly life hardships, et cetera). I was struggling with major depression throughout my year away at school and developed a stronger bond with my rents over this summer... It's going to be tough to say goodbye, again. lol

    I've come to realize how precious the time I spend with them is. (Then again, I have an older dad who was nearly dead on me a few times over my life.. so I have reason to believe that any day could be my last with him. And, as for my mom... Well, she's my best-est friend.)
  • FoxyMcDeadlift
    FoxyMcDeadlift Posts: 771 Member
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    I live at home and im 26. I moved back after my dad died and now im sort of stuck in limbo because my job doesnt pay great and i have no one to live with. Some days its the worst thing ever, other days the best. I dont have any love life prospects and thats the only thing it gets in the way of anyway, so nevermind
  • paris458
    paris458 Posts: 231 Member
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    Would it be any different if the OP was a man? I've met countless girls who would criticize men (who are even younger than the OP) that still live at home. I have a good friend that was online dating and would totally drop a guy if she found he was still living at home and over 30. Actually most women I know would do the same exact thing.

    It seems that women are the first to stick up for another women who still lives at home and are beyond critical when they meet a guy who's doing the same thing.

    Discuss.

    I may seem like an *kitten* but yes it is different. As a friend I would understand that you would have to live at home since its hard times, but if you are living at home or dont have a job why are you dating? You cant go to dinner, you cant plan a future so is he just looking to move out of his parents place and into mine?
  • Smiling_Sara
    Smiling_Sara Posts: 203 Member
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    Would it be any different if the OP was a man? I've met countless girls who would criticize men (who are even younger than the OP) that still live at home. I have a good friend that was online dating and would totally drop a guy if she found he was still living at home and over 30. Actually most women I know would do the same exact thing.

    It seems that women are the first to stick up for another women who still lives at home and are beyond critical when they meet a guy who's doing the same thing.

    Discuss.

    I may seem like an *kitten* but yes it is different. As a friend I would understand that you would have to live at home since its hard times, but if you are living at home or dont have a job why are you dating? You cant go to dinner, you cant plan a future so is he just looking to move out of his parents place and into mine?


    This may sound contradictory coming from me, but I don't see a difference at all. Why would it be? Just becuase a person happens to be male? I"ve always had the attitude of I pay my own way. ( which is where the condradictory part comes in, since I am currently living at home, but I do pay my parents some money ) I think as long as they have some long term goals in mind, and are not being lazy, I don't see a problem with it. Esp if they are saving, or cleaning up debt to make a better future for themselves.
  • Pedal_Pusher
    Pedal_Pusher Posts: 1,166 Member
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    Relying on anyone but myself would a million percent suck, you need to get in the game.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
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    Would it be any different if the OP was a man? I've met countless girls who would criticize men (who are even younger than the OP) that still live at home. I have a good friend that was online dating and would totally drop a guy if she found he was still living at home and over 30. Actually most women I know would do the same exact thing.

    It seems that women are the first to stick up for another women who still lives at home and are beyond critical when they meet a guy who's doing the same thing.

    Discuss.

    I may seem like an *kitten* but yes it is different. As a friend I would understand that you would have to live at home since its hard times, but if you are living at home or dont have a job why are you dating? You cant go to dinner, you cant plan a future so is he just looking to move out of his parents place and into mine?
    Ha, so it's totally ok for a woman to be looking to move out of the parents place into a guy's place? What a pathetic attitude.
  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    What a strange question...

    Isn't your home where you live? Everyone lives at home, unless they are homeless.
  • chivalryder
    chivalryder Posts: 4,391 Member
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    If you've been living with your parents for a couple of years without paying rent, you should easily have saved $1000 - $1500 a month. By now you should have at least $24,000 for a downpayment.

    If you're unable to save $1000 a month, then I don't see you ever moving out because owning a home cost $1000+ per month (incl property taxes, utilities etc).

    If you're going to continue living there, at least pay your parents a decent rent, they deserve it.

    This

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