Does wanting to be thin = not valuing overweight people?
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Does anyone else run into people who think they are somehow “mean” for wanting to be thin?
I had a woman say to me on Facebook the other day that she was “surprised to learn that I am so ‘anti-fat’”.
I’m not anti anyone. I think everyone should be comfortable in their own skin. If you are comfortable being 200+ lbs and happy with yourself, good for you. Just because I want to be 120 to be happy with myself doesn’t mean I don’t respect you. I just don’t want the same things for myself that you want for yourself.
I don’t know. I asked this person to elaborate and she said that my weight loss posts make me come across as only valuing thin people.
Why does the desire to lose weight = only valuing thin people? I don’t have anything against overweight people, I just prefer not to be one of them. It’s not healthy. It doesn’t look good on me.
Has anyone else ever run into this kind of attitude?
Not sure how it goes for everyone, but this is my take on some mentalities. Somehow you got the idea in your head that you wanted to lose weight. That idea could possibly be attributed to society's ideals of what you should weigh (or completely different reasons, that's just what people think of first). If you lived in a box your whole life and never talked/interacted with anyone else, would you still want to lose weight? Wanting to lose weight can be seen as someone being conditioned to just go along with the ideals of society. So people will say, you only want to lose weight because society trained you to think that way, therefore you are one of them, therefore you are anti-fat. I suppose a good question for them would be, if you did live in a box and not interact with anyone and still wanted to lose weight, would you be considered anti-fat still?
In short, people make assumptions about people based on what appears to them to be the most obvious answer. If they are assuming things about you, they probably aren't that close of a friend anyways. They are essentially making the assumption that if you hadn't been conditioned to think how you do that you would have no other reason to want to change.0 -
@nbhobbes, I've never heard obesity described as being a disease. It is thought provoking although I'm willing to bet the guy in the gym wasn't putting this much thought into the concept. Apply the same logic to other 'product of lifestyle' diseases.
Can you truly "cure" obesity or is it a matter of addressing the pernicious behaviours? Obesity is a consequence of over-eating AND lack of exercise; exercise alone won't "cure" obesity... unless you create an obsessive exercise habit... which is great until your body starts to fail due to overuse injuries... and if you haven't addressed the eating habits by then, watch the weight soar!!
There are medications, treatments and surgical interventions designed to address obesity. In fact, there is an entire branch of medicine called bariatrics dedicated to the treatment of morbidly obese people. I'm pretty sure bariatric specialists don't tell their patients to drop and give 'em 50.
Do people "catch" addictions? Do smokers "catch" cigarettes or alcoholics "contract" booze? If anything, obesity is more difficult to address than either of these addictions because people must eat to survive whereas they can survive nicely without tobacco or alcohol.
Personally, I don't want to be thin. My personal goals are more about feeling healthy and happy. I didn't like the "me" who is overweight so I'm changing "me" into someone that I like!
IMHO obesity is more of a result of a life style and choices that an individual makes. I'll grant that there are legit medical reasons but by and large obesity is easily a result of decisions made by the individual.
The big difference as you pointed out between booze, smokes and food is that there is a chemical addiction involved. Sorry your not "addicted" to eating cake. Not like a junkie is to his chemical addiction. One can opt to stop eating as a matter of choice far easier then overcoming any of the additions.
But we are moving away from the core element of the argument. Most food isn't something that makes you chemically dependant like the chemicals in cigarettes or alachol.
I really can't see obesity, and the lack of exercise and poor dieting habbits that bring it about as being more difficult to kick then an addiction to some substance.
Junkies trying not to get high have to exert far more self controll to resist the temptation then someone who knows damn well that eating a dozen doughnuts for breakfast most likely isn't a good idea. Bariatrics treats the condition. But unless the individual changes their decisions and life style you can't expect to get different results.
I don't think there is a cure per say in a medical sense, it's more of a cultural thing and a result of the individual opting to over eat.
I know the reason I gained as much weight as I did was due to the fact I ate too much and drank too much beer. Added to the fact I wasn't getting a whole lot of exercise this really added up.
So a change in eating and drinking habbits was necessary so I can get to where I wanna be. With that in mind the overall goal isn't just to drop the pounds and end up in flux from where I was to where I want to be all the time. The goal is to get where I wanna be and maintain that.
Nobody wakes up one day and is all of a sudden obese. Nobody ever got obese from sharing needles or from having unprotected sex. (Pregnancy doesn't count as being obese.)
Really any sort of solution to preventing obesinty in society has to involve encouragement in healthiher eating habbits and a focus on physical work outs. Ya know those two things that not a lot of obese people do. Diet and exercise. :P0 -
You should tell whomever told you that you only value skinny people to read some of your insights on stupid people.
I'm guessing she might fit right in! That or she's overly sensative about not being fit.
Never run into that attitude really.. I did overhear someone saying "Obesity is a disease" at the Gym once...
This struck me as odd for 3 things and I've never actually hated the fact that PF is judgment free before that moment. Especially since I was biting my tongue the whole way out the door..
REASONS WHY OBESITIY IS NOT A DISEASE
1) No other disease that I know of can be cured with exercise. Genearlly diseases requrie medication of some sort.
2) What the hell kind of quack doctor are treats diseases with physical exertion? Seriously if I went to a doctor and told him I was suffering from any number of ailments and he was all "Right drop and give me 50 push ups." I would walk out the door and never go back.
3) Generally diseases are something that you catch or is communicable. Not a by product of a life style.
I think there is a big culture of excuses that exists and subsequently people who actually are trying to stay motivated on hitting a goal get some backlash from resentment and bitterness...
Look at it this way.. When your done your diet you'll be looking, and feeling good. They will still be fat, stupid and biter. End result? YOU WIN!!!! HUZZAH!!
Not all diseases are physical. Alcoholism. Drug addiction. OCD. Many mental illnesses.
I stay away from the food "addiction" debate by using the term "compulsion" for the kind of disordered eating that leads to obesity to distinguish them from physical addictions, but the phenomenon is real, nonetheless. We recognize the kind of compulsive disordered eating that leads to extreme thinness as a class called "Eating Disorders". The eating behaviors that made many of us extremely overweight are very similar in nature.
We wouldn't treat anorexia as a character flaw and say that someone who struggles with it should just pull themselves up by their bootstraps and have a cheeseburger - it's more complex than that. Same with compulsive overeating.
As for the exercise: many Type II diabetics are treated with diet and exercise.
To the OP: There's nothing wrong with wanting to be a healthy kind of thin. If you haven't made any fat-critical remarks about yourself, then I'd say you're cool. Do think, though, if you've put yourself down for your weight. If you have, overweight friends could hear that as a put down toward any overweight people.0 -
Not sure how it goes for everyone, but this is my take on some mentalities. Somehow you got the idea in your head that you wanted to lose weight. That idea could possibly be attributed to society's ideals of what you should weigh (or completely different reasons, that's just what people think of first). If you lived in a box your whole life and never talked/interacted with anyone else, would you still want to lose weight? Wanting to lose weight can be seen as someone being conditioned to just go along with the ideals of society. So people will say, you only want to lose weight because society trained you to think that way, therefore you are one of them, therefore you are anti-fat. I suppose a good question for them would be, if you did live in a box and not interact with anyone and still wanted to lose weight, would you be considered anti-fat still?
If I lived in a box my first goal would be getting the hell out of the box!0 -
Not sure how it goes for everyone, but this is my take on some mentalities. Somehow you got the idea in your head that you wanted to lose weight. That idea could possibly be attributed to society's ideals of what you should weigh (or completely different reasons, that's just what people think of first). If you lived in a box your whole life and never talked/interacted with anyone else, would you still want to lose weight? Wanting to lose weight can be seen as someone being conditioned to just go along with the ideals of society. So people will say, you only want to lose weight because society trained you to think that way, therefore you are one of them, therefore you are anti-fat. I suppose a good question for them would be, if you did live in a box and not interact with anyone and still wanted to lose weight, would you be considered anti-fat still?
If I lived in a box my first goal would be getting the hell out of the box!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: If you always lived in a box, you may not find it unusual to be in the box. How do you know you would want to get out?0 -
That kind of sounds like her own issue. Being pro-YOUR-OWN-health does not automatically equate to being anti-everyone-else-who-does-not-have-the-same-goals-as-you.0
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Not sure how it goes for everyone, but this is my take on some mentalities. Somehow you got the idea in your head that you wanted to lose weight. That idea could possibly be attributed to society's ideals of what you should weigh (or completely different reasons, that's just what people think of first). If you lived in a box your whole life and never talked/interacted with anyone else, would you still want to lose weight? Wanting to lose weight can be seen as someone being conditioned to just go along with the ideals of society. So people will say, you only want to lose weight because society trained you to think that way, therefore you are one of them, therefore you are anti-fat. I suppose a good question for them would be, if you did live in a box and not interact with anyone and still wanted to lose weight, would you be considered anti-fat still?
If I lived in a box my first goal would be getting the hell out of the box!
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh: If you always lived in a box, you may not find it unusual to be in the box. How do you know you would want to get out?
Beacuse after a bit I would get bored...0 -
I don't think anyone is anti fat. Its simply about wanting to be healthy. A BMI between 20-25 if I remember means you will live the longest life. What's wrong with wanting to achieve that?0
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Not sure how it goes for everyone, but this is my take on some mentalities. Somehow you got the idea in your head that you wanted to lose weight. That idea could possibly be attributed to society's ideals of what you should weigh (or completely different reasons, that's just what people think of first). If you lived in a box your whole life and never talked/interacted with anyone else, would you still want to lose weight? Wanting to lose weight can be seen as someone being conditioned to just go along with the ideals of society. So people will say, you only want to lose weight because society trained you to think that way, therefore you are one of them, therefore you are anti-fat. I suppose a good question for them would be, if you did live in a box and not interact with anyone and still wanted to lose weight, would you be considered anti-fat still?
If I lived in a box my first goal would be getting the hell out of the box!
LOL0 -
That's why I only post dietary/fitness stuff here and not on facebook.
As far as wanting to be thin equaling a lack of value of overweight people? I'm not doing this to devalue anyone. I'm doing this because I value my health, my body, and what little time I have on this Earth (not dying or anything, it's just life is short). If being super smexy is a byproduct of all of this, I guess I'll just have to deal with it :happy:0 -
No, it doesn't. But I too am careful where I talk about my diet or fitness. My friends or family who weigh more get quite offended knowing I'm unhappy with my figure.
"Well if you are that small, I must look like a cow to you"
But that's quite simply not the way I see it.0 -
As my trainer once told me "No one actually wants to be big".
Everyone in life wants to be thin because society and media say thats how it has to be. When you struggle to get how you think you should be, you tend to lash out at others who are having an easier time then you, I feel at least. You sit and wonder how that person can complain out being fat/not losing weight when they are so much smaller then you.. Don't they see how much more weight you have to lose and why this is so hard for you? Why can't they just be happy with who they are and stop trying to one up you?
It's such a vicious cycle now a days... and I think if the media changed their perspective, that a lot of other peoples perspectives would change too.0 -
I'm anti-fat but only against fat on me. What other people get up to is their business. I can't stand seeing fat on my body. That's as far as it goes.
Agreed. If I see another fat person, I just see another fat person. If I see a thin person, I see a thin person. We are all people. If someone wants to lose weight...or not, that is their business, not mine. I know I am too fat because of health issues.0 -
I've heard complaints from people on FB that weight loss posts are annoying because it sounds like bragging. Because of this, I only put my weight loss stuff on MFP where there are like minded people. Not everyone is in the same place with their bodies. Sometimes people feel so ashamed about themselves that they lash out at others who are losing weight because it hurts less than lashing out at themselves.0
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I'm not anti-fat, if you're fat and okay with it then go you. If you're fat but working hard and making an effort you're inspirational.
What I hate is people who blame everything but themselves on their weight (or any other similar problems for that matter) and make no effort other than complaining and a lot of the time in my experience looking down on people who did make the effort.
It's not your thyroid (if it is then get a prescription and get on a healthy diet), you weren't born this way. You're fat because you eat more calories than your body burns and you don't get any exercise.0 -
does wanting to have more money make me not value people with less money?0
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Not exactly, but I understand the mentality and do get told that because I want to be (and am) a healthy weight I am obsessed with weight, which couldn't be further from the truth. I don't even own scales.0
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