When is it crossing the line in giving diet advice?

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LiveLifeLogically
LiveLifeLogically Posts: 41 Member
in Motivation and Support
I have had a few friends on my list that I have noticed make it to maybe half of their daily calorie goal...on a regular basis. I'll be the first to admit it that on certain days, I'm guilty as well. But not EVERY DAY. Sometimes I just don't feel like stuffing my face or I don't have time to log, but I think I'm right in the fact that it's not healthy to go on less than 600 calories a day, right?!

So my question is, do I say something to these individuals or leave them be. It's not healthy what they are doing, but I don't know where the line is to say, "hey, eat some more food!" What would you do?

Replies

  • love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
    love4fitnesslove4food_wechange Posts: 6,897 Member
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    I'd say something or unfriend them so that I don't have to constantly nag them (if things don't change).
  • mamagooskie
    mamagooskie Posts: 2,964 Member
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    If they don't ask then it's out of line to give advice. Personally I just delete people like that.
  • Sasssy69
    Sasssy69 Posts: 547 Member
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    I unfriend them. We obviously don't have the same goals, and I can't support someone who is trying to do this in an unhealthy way.
  • hippietofugirl
    hippietofugirl Posts: 430
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    I usually tell them they should eat some more food in a sort of joking way to see what their answer is and I'll continue to prod them for a day or two until I finally delete them.
  • emzmc
    emzmc Posts: 85 Member
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    If they don't ask for advice.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,248 Member
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    If they don't ask then it's out of line to give advice. Personally I just delete people like that.

    That's my take. People are bad enough about accepting advice when they ask for advice.
  • BeetleChe13
    BeetleChe13 Posts: 498 Member
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    I only say something if they are trying to get healthier and only eat so little out of ignorance. If they continue to degrade their bodies after they know better, then I delete them from my friends list. They could have their reasons though. Maybe they are bad about only logging the beginning of their day or are under a doctor's supervision.
  • Irish_eyes75
    Irish_eyes75 Posts: 475
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    I just delete. Everyone here is an adult and I don't give advice unless they ask and even then I don't really give diet advice because I'm still learning myself.
  • caraiselite
    caraiselite Posts: 2,631 Member
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    i would say something.
    i'm a controlling and judgmental person. i can't help telling people what to do
  • ironicusername
    ironicusername Posts: 73
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    Just leave it be or defriend them. I made the mistake of saying something and got a lot of slack for it. If they have an eating disorder they will most likely be in denial and be very defensive. They know they aren't eating right, so they really won't want to hear it. I'd prefer to just not have it on my f-list and see it everyday.
  • MemphisKitten
    MemphisKitten Posts: 878 Member
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    I am not shy about speaking up to my MFP friends who are obviously not eating enough calories. I know from experience that undereating only slows your metabolism leading eventually to weight GAIN. So I always comment on their diary posts or even send them a message explaining the importance of eating at least their BMR every day. All proven scientific data supports eating 200-300 calories (for women) and 300-400 calories (for men) every 3 hours beginning with breakfast and stopping with dinner will boost your metabolism and cause maximum calorie burn throughout the day. I'm not saying I know everything; but over the years I have learned from my own mistakes and taken some classes in college on health and nutrition. When I make a comment or send a message to a friend, I always try to be polite and understanding. All I want to do is help my friends get the best outcome possible and be the best they can be without suffering. I am so grateful I know what I do about diet and fitness, and I'm rarely hungry and have more energy than I ever have in my life. I think it's my duty to share what I know if it can assist people in reaching their goals. Also, if people don't like what I say to them, they can always just delete me as a friend. So please don't think you are being rude or mean by offering advice. Just make sure you do it politely. :wink:
  • LiveLifeLogically
    LiveLifeLogically Posts: 41 Member
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    Wow!!! Thanks everyone for the great responses! I really didn't expect that many so fast! I've been supportive to all MFP friends as best I can, always looking over their diaries to see what I can learn from them as well as what they can learn from me. I've said my two cents here and there but it doesn't look like my message is getting across to those individuals, so I agree with those of you who say if they don't have the goals to get fit and be healthy, then maybe we are not a great match as MFP friends. Thanks again everyone! Stay active, think positive thoughts, and keep hydrated!
  • LiveLifeLogically
    LiveLifeLogically Posts: 41 Member
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    Great advice!
  • ncthomas09
    ncthomas09 Posts: 322 Member
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    Let me say this from the experience of recently only getting half of my calories in for the day. No it's not healthy and Yes I totally agree to say something. I am currently dealling with gall bladder issues so everything I eat hurts and/or causes nausea. Today for instance I at a muffin at dinner (7:30pm) it is now 10:44 pm and I'm not hungry and I have a sharp pain in my side. (On a good note I am having surgery to remove it next week).

    On the days I KNOW I am under I log what I can but try to not complete my diary just so it doesn't post in the newsfeed. One day I accidentally completed it and I came in at a whopping 643 calories for the day. A friend on MFP commented "a little low today...are you ok?". I was very pleased to see that she noticed and I explained my situation since I had not posted anything about my problem. This has been going on for nearly a month now but I am trying to keep my friends on here updated now so they know I am trying to be as healthy as I can.

    So say something and see what the response is and decide from there if you want to delete. They may be having a problem you dont know about.
  • rcharlee
    rcharlee Posts: 182 Member
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    I delete them if they ask for advice and don't use it. I've lost a decent amount of weight eating above my BMR, and it just pisses me off when I share great adivce that I received here, and people just disregard it. I have one person on my list currently that is about to be deleted for eating too low and b*tching about not being able to lose after I spent a lot of time giving her the info I have received from Eat More to Weigh Less.

    *kitten* or get off the pot is what I say!
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    I would leave them be and this is why:

    1. They may not be tracking everything they eat - not everyone has a home computer (raises hand) and can log what they eat after they leave work or school.

    2. Sometimes the only things in a person's tracker is something they are test driving to see what the nutritional value would look like.

    3. Are they hindering your progress?

    I only track my exercise, not usually my food - too many people thought I was religiously tracking and gave me piles of sht about it. I track with my camera. I make sure I never eat anything that I wouldnt take a picture of. Keeps me from eating a fudge round and sunflower seeds and 6 beers for dinner. Like many others who have been at this for a really long time, I track in my head. UNLESS Im trying out a bunch of new things for a couple weeks - then those new things will be the only stuff in there.

    Would you unfriend me for that method?
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,039 Member
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    Well, I think it crosses the line when you offer advice before you are asked.. but I am pretty good about noticing when my friends don't log and asking them to please start logging again.

    The amount of food some is eating or not eating? I don't comment. Reading about how to eat more calories? I lurk all the time. I am now trying to stay within 5 lbs down or 2 pounds up of my current weight. So far, so good.

    I think we all know it is very important to live well nutrionally and we all know it's not good to be over or underweight.

    Some one that asks me for advice and doesn't use it? Eh, everyone is an adult here. And everyone gets to their goals their own way. Just a lot of smart people here it's a shame to see some of the posts where a positive role model who eats more and gets to their healthy weight continuously challenged or ignored. Seriously, people should at least try it if the other stuff isn't working for them.

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