How to tell him...

How do you tell the man (or woman?) you are seeing that they should workout with you... my last relationship didnt workout because he felt 'like i didnt see him enough and i hit the gym too often'...

do i really have to start looking for someone who is also into fitness and health like myself? I dont really mind if a man wasnt into it... i mean, its MY life and MY journey... just seems like its making dating hard?

Help!!

Replies

  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
    If you don't mind he's not into fitness, then don't expect him to get into fitness because you're in it. Now if he asks to come, or you invite him once, that's fine. But I wouldn't press the issue. Accept him for HIM.

    If the gym is that big of a deal, meet a man that likes the gym.
  • live2runnj
    live2runnj Posts: 157
    I would usually start with "Hey, wanna work out?"

    If that didn't work, try "You're pi**ing me off now! Let's go to the gym!"....

    Don't know what to tell ya after that.
  • If you don't mind he's not into fitness, then don't expect him to get into fitness because you're in it. Now if he asks to come, or you invite him once, that's fine. But I wouldn't press the issue. Accept him for HIM.

    If the gym is that big of a deal, meet a man that likes the gym.

    yeah, i date for who the person is... a'holes are usually the big handsome yoked men i used to go for... i dont have time for that drama! lol thanks for the adive! :D
  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    I would usually start with "Hey, wanna work out?"

    If that didn't work, try "You're pi**ing me off now! Let's go to the gym!"....

    Don't know what to tell ya after that.

    Hmm, does the 2nd attempt ever work??!
  • I would usually start with "Hey, wanna work out?"

    If that didn't work, try "You're pi**ing me off now! Let's go to the gym!"....

    Don't know what to tell ya after that.

    lol thanks
  • JAllen32
    JAllen32 Posts: 991 Member
    You don't "tell" them anything. You ask them to join you! Telling someone they need to hit the gym is going to cause hard feelings. "Wanna help me lift weights?" "Wanna go for a run with me?" Much nicer that way!
  • bikebanditandy
    bikebanditandy Posts: 15 Member
    I had the same issue with my ex... She told me I made her feel like needed to lose weight... although she was tiny already and this wasn't the case! There were many other reasons for the split, but upon talking about it again with her after the event, she still maintained I gave her a complex... :/
    How do you tell the man (or woman?) you are seeing that they should workout with you... my last relationship didnt workout because he felt 'like i didnt see him enough and i hit the gym too often'...

    do i really have to start looking for someone who is also into fitness and health like myself? I dont really mind if a man wasnt into it... i mean, its MY life and MY journey... just seems like its making dating hard?

    Help!!
  • live2runnj
    live2runnj Posts: 157
    I would usually start with "Hey, wanna work out?"

    If that didn't work, try "You're pi**ing me off now! Let's go to the gym!"....

    Don't know what to tell ya after that.

    Hmm, does the 2nd attempt ever work??!

    Second attempt works....

    The times it doesn't I move on to "I found this other hot chick at the gym! See you later."
  • YouAreTheShit
    YouAreTheShit Posts: 510 Member
    The most successful relationships have a high degree of intellectual and emotional compatibility along with quite a few common interests shared between them... clearly health and fitness is one that you value that prolly should be shared with your partner. IMO
  • jerbear1962
    jerbear1962 Posts: 1,157 Member
    Just ask if he wants to join you and let him know you don't mind if he doesn't.
  • live2runnj
    live2runnj Posts: 157
    The most successful relationships have a high degree of intellectual and emotional compatibility along with quite a few common interests shared between them... clearly health and fitness is one that you value that prolly should be shared with your partner. IMO

    Good lord.....

    So serious............. Do you hold a PHD?
  • HiKaren
    HiKaren Posts: 1,306 Member
    How do you tell the man (or woman?) you are seeing that they should workout with you... my last relationship didnt workout because he felt 'like i didnt see him enough and i hit the gym too often'...

    do i really have to start looking for someone who is also into fitness and health like myself? I dont really mind if a man wasnt into it... i mean, its MY life and MY journey... just seems like its making dating hard?

    Help!!

    Start Scoping the gym out for some hot buns..... : ) I'm sure you should find someone compatible there... If thats what you like in a relationship. You know, someone who enjoys working out... And sees the fun in working out with you.....
    And Your User Name Really Rocks!!!! We are helping Joan this Saturday in Lancaster....... ch ch ch ch ch ch ch ch Cherry Bomb.
  • weighlossforbaby
    weighlossforbaby Posts: 847 Member
    You shouldn't TELL them to workout with you when they don't want to but maybe ASK them if they would like to join you. If your looking for a person who is into fitness meet someone at the gym.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    I wouldn't *tell* him anything. I'll *ask* if he wanted to join me, but if he didn't (and usually, he doesn't), then that's just fine because this is only one aspect of my life and I don't expect anyone to share all of my interests.

    I think of exercise as part of my personal maintenance, like clothes shopping and basic grooming. No one has to do any of that with me. I'm not going to demand he go shoe shopping with me, or get his hair cut when I get a hair cut. But I do really appreciate it when he comes with me to races and acts as my own personal paparazzi. :heart:
  • TeachTheGirl
    TeachTheGirl Posts: 2,091 Member
    I agree with asking if he'd be interested to join.

    It's a hobby you enjoy, any person you get with should at least appreciate that!

    (By the way, I love your top, where did you get it?)
  • reyopo
    reyopo Posts: 210 Member
    The most successful relationships have a high degree of intellectual and emotional compatibility along with quite a few common interests shared between them... clearly health and fitness is one that you value that prolly should be shared with your partner. IMO

    Agree with the first part...not so much on the second. If there are enough OTHER common interests (music, culture, ideology), what's the big deal? I do yoga and Zumba (as well as lifting) at the gym, I wouldn't expect a guy to get in to those so much, nor have I seen too many in those classes that I'd want to date. It's more important to me that he like hiking, biking, camping and outdoor activities...that, and not have a terrible diet. That said, if he tried to tell ME not to do so much yoga...well, we'd have a problem!
  • Lone_Wolf70
    Lone_Wolf70 Posts: 2,820 Member
    How do you tell the man (or woman?) you are seeing that they should workout with you... my last relationship didnt workout because he felt 'like i didnt see him enough and i hit the gym too often'...

    do i really have to start looking for someone who is also into fitness and health like myself? I dont really mind if a man wasnt into it... i mean, its MY life and MY journey... just seems like its making dating hard?

    Help!!

    How much time do u spend at the gym that it interferes THAT MUCH?
  • How do you tell the man (or woman?) you are seeing that they should workout with you... my last relationship didnt workout because he felt 'like i didnt see him enough and i hit the gym too often'...

    do i really have to start looking for someone who is also into fitness and health like myself? I dont really mind if a man wasnt into it... i mean, its MY life and MY journey... just seems like its making dating hard?

    Help!!

    How much time do u spend at the gym that it interferes THAT MUCH?

    I work here AND do atleast and hour and a half to two hours mon to fri...?
  • ChristineMarie89
    ChristineMarie89 Posts: 1,079 Member
    if they don't understand don't be with them!! ask them straight out to work out with you and if they don't want to and complain about not having any time with you then tell them you tried.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    The most successful relationships have a high degree of intellectual and emotional compatibility along with quite a few common interests shared between them... clearly health and fitness is one that you value that prolly should be shared with your partner. IMO

    Good lord.....

    So serious............. Do you hold a PHD?
    Gonna guess you don't.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    How do you tell the man (or woman?) you are seeing that they should workout with you... my last relationship didnt workout because he felt 'like i didnt see him enough and i hit the gym too often'...

    do i really have to start looking for someone who is also into fitness and health like myself? I dont really mind if a man wasnt into it... i mean, its MY life and MY journey... just seems like its making dating hard?

    Help!!

    How much time do u spend at the gym that it interferes THAT MUCH?

    I work here AND do atleast and hour and a half to two hours mon to fri...?
    Are you expecting him to start spending that kind of time in the gym just because you asked?
  • JustJennie1
    JustJennie1 Posts: 3,749 Member
    The most successful relationships have a high degree of intellectual and emotional compatibility along with quite a few common interests shared between them... clearly health and fitness is one that you value that prolly should be shared with your partner. IMO

    I have to agree. People should have a lot of common interests if they are in a relationship. My husband and I do and we also have things that aren't shared for example craft fairs and girlie things. I love those. He doesn't but he will take me to them if I ask. There are sme things he does that's don't particularly like butnimwill do them with him because he enjoys it.

    Just ask hm to go to the gym with you or ask him if the time you spend ere would bother him.
  • bushidowoman
    bushidowoman Posts: 1,599 Member
    Do you have heavy workout days and light workout days?
    Stick to the gym on your heavy days. Invite him to dance, hike a mountain trail, bicycle, etc on your light days.
    And maybe reevaluate how much time you spend in the gym.
  • FlaxMilk
    FlaxMilk Posts: 3,452 Member
    If you don't care, just let any guy know upfront that you spend a good portion of the day at a gym, because it is both your job and your hobby. My husband and I work different schedules and don't get to see each other quite as much as couples that work the same schedule, but a bit of time apart is good. We also have very different interests. Some are the same, but some are not. And some of those are really important to one or the other of us, and we both respect that we are both different people and don't have to be the same.
  • dinosnopro
    dinosnopro Posts: 2,177 Member
    How do you tell the man (or woman?) you are seeing that they should workout with you... my last relationship didnt workout because he felt 'like i didnt see him enough and i hit the gym too often'...

    do i really have to start looking for someone who is also into fitness and health like myself? I dont really mind if a man wasnt into it... i mean, its MY life and MY journey... just seems like its making dating hard?

    Help!!



    Just go with the " guess what we're doing Tuesday night "

    But please, with all that is sweet and holy, don't make him do zumba.
  • How do you tell the man (or woman?) you are seeing that they should workout with you... my last relationship didnt workout because he felt 'like i didnt see him enough and i hit the gym too often'...

    do i really have to start looking for someone who is also into fitness and health like myself? I dont really mind if a man wasnt into it... i mean, its MY life and MY journey... just seems like its making dating hard?

    Help!!

    How much time do u spend at the gym that it interferes THAT MUCH?

    I work here AND do atleast and hour and a half to two hours mon to fri...?
    Are you expecting him to start spending that kind of time in the gym just because you asked?

    Nah, I WORK and workout... i dont need to see he all the time, just need to be understanding of the fact that im here alot, and if you want to see me more then you know where i am lol
  • How do you tell the man (or woman?) you are seeing that they should workout with you... my last relationship didnt workout because he felt 'like i didnt see him enough and i hit the gym too often'...

    do i really have to start looking for someone who is also into fitness and health like myself? I dont really mind if a man wasnt into it... i mean, its MY life and MY journey... just seems like its making dating hard?

    Help!!



    Just go with the " guess what we're doing Tuesday night "

    But please, with all that is sweet and holy, don't make him do zumba.

    HAHA id only ask him to spot me
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
    How do you tell the man (or woman?) you are seeing that they should workout with you... my last relationship didnt workout because he felt 'like i didnt see him enough and i hit the gym too often'...

    do i really have to start looking for someone who is also into fitness and health like myself? I dont really mind if a man wasnt into it... i mean, its MY life and MY journey... just seems like its making dating hard?

    Help!!
    How much time do u spend at the gym that it interferes THAT MUCH?

    I work here AND do atleast and hour and a half to two hours mon to fri...?


    Hmmm, I just perved your profile pics. Bribe them with sex. You're smokin hot.
    (there, that's better)
  • It's funny because with me and my husband it was reversed. He's a gym addict and has an amazing body and I've always been chubby and I got into the gym a few years ago. Sometimes you can have an affect on your partner in a good way. I owe him for introducing me to the gym.
    When we were dating he never pushed me into it, but I just wanted to share some common interests so I joined the gym and would go and it felt amazing and soon I was there more than him!
    I think maybe the next guy you date, if he's not into working out, maybe take a class together like spinning or yoga or something you like but would be easy for a beginner. He might decide he likes it on his own. Let him decide in the end and if he thinks the relationship is meaningful he will stick around. A lot of couples have different interests but they make it work so don't worry!
    But also give some guys at the gym a chance, they can't all be *kitten* :)
  • dinosnopro
    dinosnopro Posts: 2,177 Member
    How do you tell the man (or woman?) you are seeing that they should workout with you... my last relationship didnt workout because he felt 'like i didnt see him enough and i hit the gym too often'...

    do i really have to start looking for someone who is also into fitness and health like myself? I dont really mind if a man wasnt into it... i mean, its MY life and MY journey... just seems like its making dating hard?

    Help!!



    Just go with the " guess what we're doing Tuesday night "

    But please, with all that is sweet and holy, don't make him do zumba.

    HAHA id only ask him to spot me



    That's what I do for my wife