Lacking Self Control

Apparently it takes 21 days to get into a habit. Whether its eating healthily, exercising or just making small changes to yourself it's all gonna take time. Bare that in mind and don't be disappointed if you don't see results in a few days.

Honestly, when I first started I was EXACTLY like you. I started over many times, got disappointed and gave up.

But whatever reason this time I stuck with it (mostly thanks to this website and the support) and now exercising and planning my meals is the highlight of my days.

You didn't gain weight overnight so you're not gonna lose it overnight. It doesn't matter how long it takes you, you WILL reach your goals in the end and think how amazing you're gonna feel when you do.

I really wish there was some magic way to keep yourself strong. But unfortunately there's not. If there was, we would all be healthy and at our goal weight. I will give you one piece of advice. I am 54. I, like you, tried many times over the last 25 years to do this. I didn't succeed because I didn't want it bad enough. That's all there is to it. You have to want it. You have to want it more than you want to eat. You have to want it even though your muscles are telling you to go sit on the couch. You have to keep reaching down inside and pulling the strength back out of yourself. No one can do it for you. No one can make you do it. It's all up to you. How bad do you want it??? It you do - this is a great place to start!

The best way to start is to begin logging all your food. THat was really eye opening for me. I was honest and it scared me sometimes. But do it. Every meal. Every day. When you get that under your belt, begin to find ways to make your food more healthy. The better you eat, the better you feed your body, the better you will feel. The better you feel, the more you will want to move and you can begin toning up your body.

I'm sending you a site that you need to check out today. It will help you determine how much you need to be feeding your body so that IT CAN LOSE the weight. If you restrict your calories too low - you will not lose. You body needs to know that you are going to give it the correct amount of fuel each day.

And about the steep mountain to climb? Where are you going to be on that mountain this time next year? You may still be at the foot. Or you could be at the half way point or really close to the top! It's all up to you.

Lastly, read the success stories on here. Every day you feel like you have too much to lose, read a story. Some people on here have lost 100, 200 and there is one man on here who has lost over 300 pounds. Read the stories. As you do, you will find other people that are in similar situations as you. Make friends. Find people to support and encourage. It will help you.

Best of luck to you. Here's the info: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12 :flowerforyou:

Im starting my journey today. Honestly, I have started so many other times I am tempted to be very negative.
I am trying very hard to stay positive, because I know half the battle is in my head.

I realize I seriously lack self control. If I crave it, I get it. I almost never tell myself "no".
How do I begin to change this horrible habit? It seems like such a steep mountain to climb.

don't buy it in the first place ... then you can't eat it. not to sound mean but that's what i have come to do. make a well thought out HEALTHY grocery list. go to the grocery store and don't look at anything else. don't give yourself a chance to think; jus quickly grab what's on the list and keep it moving. once you get this in general practice, you won't even think of the bad stuff.

Also, I recommend reading the book "Brain Over Binge" if you have the chance. Very helpful read.

Pre-plan, don't buy binge triggering foods, don't shop when hungry, if you think you want to eat something log it first and see how it will impact your day.

You can totally do this. I have suffered from bingeging and purging off and on over the past few years. I have gone almost two months now without a true binge like I used to (easily consuming 2000 cals in one sitting) and haven't felt the need to purge even when I eat larger meals that make me feel full even though they're within my calories.

Im starting my journey today. Honestly, I have started so many other times I am tempted to be very negative.
I am trying very hard to stay positive, because I know half the battle is in my head.

I realize I seriously lack self control. If I crave it, I get it. I almost never tell myself "no".
How do I begin to change this horrible habit? It seems like such a steep mountain to climb.

I would recommend to start thinking about it as a way of life, not as a diet. One thing that has always worked for me is to have an 'off' day. I don't eat 'unhealthy' food during the week. And I give myself either Saturday or Sunday to eat some fries or some ice cream. That way if you have that craving during the week, you know you only have to wait a couple of days. Before long you start to not really care if you have that desert or not on your day off.

Just keep it mind it's not a whole 'day off'. You can't go crazy and eat crap all day, just one or two items.

I think that the idea that you just have to "tell yourself no" is the problem from the beginning. You are not telling yourself no; you are saying yes to something else. You just have to make yourself aware of it.

It's about weighing priorities. When people say "no" to eating sweets, it's not that they are simply good at dealing with deprivation, but rather that they are deciding that something else is more important. You have to focus on the "why" rather than the "what."

This is exactly what occurred to me when I started having success losing weight. Someone would offer me a cupcake and I would think, "How am I going to feel about that later? What effect is this sort of choice going to have in the long run?" When I stopped for a moment and thought of that, I suddenly didn't want it. It just didn't seem worth it. I knew that afterward, I'd have more negative than positive feelings about it, so I decided not to do that to myself.

Sometimes, I do think, "Yeah, I want that cupcake." And I'll eat it and feel good about it. Why? Because I'm honest with myself. I've weighed the options and picked that one out deliberately. I don't attach all sorts of meaning to it or feel guilty or see it as a "bad choice." It's just a different choice. I log the food and am done with it.

Start by logging all your food without trying to diet. Log it for a week and then review your log. See what you can give up or cut down on. Maybe a bit less fatty or fried foods next week. Maybe one ice cream/muffin/bagel less next week. Just one serving less. It will not make a big change because you will be able to have it tomorrow, just not today. Then next week cut something else out.

Overeating is like an addiction. Some people can stop 'cold turkey', some need to take baby steps. Whatever works for you - you need to find your way. If you can't give up some things completely, start by cutting down.

One more thing . Do not think about MFP as a diet website, because it is NOT. If you don't expect to see the results right away - you will keep going.

As for me - when I started logging my food, I realized how much calories go to snacks, so I cut down on snacking. When I feel like a snack I am thinking 'How long before lunch or dinner? Will I starve if I don't have that snack? No. So I might just wait' I still snack but not as often as I used to.

Good luck.

If you want it bad enough, you'll make it happen.

I keep my old bikini(size small that I haven't been in since I was 15--7 years ago) hanging on the back of my door along with a pair of capris that I can't fit into and they remind me daily that this is what I want and I know if you want it bad enough you'll make it happen.

And whenever I get negative and think I can't do it, I remember some famous quotes:

"Whether you think you can or you think you can't, you're always right" - Henry Ford
"Everyday may not be a good day, but there is good in every day"
"You gain courage, strength and confidence in which every experience you stop and look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot." -Eleanor Roosevelt.

One thing I do is if I want the bad thing, I eat a good thing first, carrots, 90 cal cerel bar, yogurt, whatever, and wait at least 30 minutes, if I still want it I have it, but usually I have forgotten about it and moved on. May be worth a try.

Im starting my journey today. Honestly, I have started so many other times I am tempted to be very negative.
I am trying very hard to stay positive, because I know half the battle is in my head.

I realize I seriously lack self control. If I crave it, I get it. I almost never tell myself "no".
How do I begin to change this horrible habit? It seems like such a steep mountain to climb.

don't buy it in the first place ... then you can't eat it. not to sound mean but that's what i have come to do. make a well thought out HEALTHY grocery list. go to the grocery store and don't look at anything else. don't give yourself a chance to think; jus quickly grab what's on the list and keep it moving. once you get this in general practice, you won't even think of the bad stuff.

^^^^ This is what I have done on the past two paydays. It works. If you spend all your grocery money on healthy food, then there's no money left for the junk. (at least not in my house )

If you get a craving, then note it in your food diary. I also agree about consistent logging. The food and exercise diaries in MFP are the reason that I have been able to translate my desire to be fit into an action plan. Think about it, plan it, then do it.

Welcome to MFP! :happy:

Apparently it takes 21 days to get into a habit. Whether its eating healthily, exercising or just making small changes to yourself it's all gonna take time. Bare that in mind and don't be disappointed if you don't see results in a few days.

Honestly, when I first started I was EXACTLY like you. I started over many times, got disappointed and gave up.

But whatever reason this time I stuck with it (mostly thanks to this website and the support) and now exercising and planning my meals is the highlight of my days.

You didn't gain weight overnight so you're not gonna lose it overnight. It doesn't matter how long it takes you, you WILL reach your goals in the end and think how amazing you're gonna feel when you do.

Thanks for this post. I've never tried to change my eating habits before this so I'm not sure how difficult it's going to be long term but I am seeing a bit of a struggle letting go of some of the things I've grown accustomed to eating on a regular basis.

Knowing that it takes about a month to even get into the routine makes me feel quite a bit better about my "slip ups" and cave-ins!

Like my yesterday's dinner... Not the healthiest of choices, but I knew I wanted it so I planned around it all day. I was mostly guilt-free since I managed to come in under my calories!

also, i am trying to make other changes, to help me feel differently,
i am playing my favorite kind of music all over the house when i am home, and kinda loud, too.
and trying to get up every 20 or 30 minutes and move around, even if it's only for 10 minutes. some days i am setting buzzer to remember to do this.
I am already feeling more flexible, more alive, more hopeful.

I am wearing better clothing, taking care of me, to help me see myself as better.

i am walking with my favorite music in my headphones, and doing a lil better, it's a lil easier already going up/down stairs, etc.


maybe, also besides focusing on staying in your calorie limit, and exercising, even if only walking for now,
try to think of other things that may give you a boost. Might help you develop a hopeful feeling inside...