Can't do it!!
joselo2
Posts: 461
I have been dieting for 3 months and it's been quite up and down, but I lost a stone so far. However, I feel like I am losing control and problems I had with binge eating and compulsive over eating is getting worse. Binge days are getting more and more frequent again, I am doing bad things again. This is really impacting upon my weightloss and I feel like I could gain back all my losses. It is total sabotage 
.
Also, my spending on food is getting silly again and that is making me really worried, financially. Does anyone else have this issue??
I am 21 is 3 days and this problem ruined my teens basically, I want rid of it now for adulthood, sick of it. I am getting some help from a specialist weight management course by the national health service from 20th, I just hope it works, it feels like my last resort.
xxxx
.Also, my spending on food is getting silly again and that is making me really worried, financially. Does anyone else have this issue??
I am 21 is 3 days and this problem ruined my teens basically, I want rid of it now for adulthood, sick of it. I am getting some help from a specialist weight management course by the national health service from 20th, I just hope it works, it feels like my last resort.
xxxx
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Replies
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You really want it??
Then do it!! You need to practice some self-control!! Not trying to be mean, but that's what you sounds like you need!!
I am guilty of this myself. I still indulge here and there and that is probably why my weight loss has been slow. But you have to know when it's just not worth it.
Before eating out and buying junk, eat something good for you. Never leave the house hungry, this is one thing I have learned.0 -
Whether you think you can do or can't do something, you're right.0
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You can take control!! you may also need to identify what causes you to do this, professional help may teach you the tools to be successful... Dont give up!!0
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Not to get too personal but are you eating your feelings? My mom died suddenly 3 years ago and I started eating my grief. I was in a binge cycle that I am working hard to break. I signed up on here almost a year ago but haven't been "ready" for it until now. Maybe you should see a counselor and see if it helps you.0
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Not being able to see your food log I can't say what you're eating and help make any suggestions. First off don't look at it as dieting...think of it as a lifestyle change. Have you tried eating many small meals instead of 3 big meals? Do you drink plenty of water? Get plenty of exercise? Have you set realistic goals? You have to face this one on one with yourself and you can do it. I keep nothing in the house that is bad, I only buy healthy for me foods. I have 2 or 3 snacks each day, usually some kind of fruit or veggies. I even have apples with a little peanut butter or carmel. I have carrots or celery with dip or cream cheese. Add me as a friend I'd enjoy helping any way I can.0
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I have found that losing slowly and steadily without trying to do it too quickly is helping me to not feel deprived. I set my MFP goal to lose 1/2 lb per week and I eat back all my exercise calories on top of that. You have to be meticulous with the tracking and never miss a day (since you're only working with a 250 calorie/day deficit this way) but it's been working and I'm actually losing a little faster than that.
Don't try to do too much too quickly. It's not sustainable. Set a modest goal and work towards that. Don't aim for 2 lbs/week... or even 1 for that matter. Do what you can do. Maybe set your goal to maintain for a bit until you're used to tracking everything? Then after a couple of weeks, set the deficit and do it.
Only you can do this for you.0 -
Do you know what causes you to eat? Is it stress? Depression? Do you eat to feel good? Have you sought out a counselor? ((hugs)) You can overcome this! The first step is identifying WHY you binge. Once you figure it out, then seek out ways to cope w/o food. Easier said than done, isn't it? But You really can do it!0
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I will reply better later because i have to get ready for work now, but thank you all. The thing is, self control, I got none, I wonder how you get it> I used to get so angry when people say I got not self control but i think they are right. Sorry for being really defeatist, I just can't think of much positive now because I feel nearly hopeless about it.0
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If you can get up for work each day you have self control. I am sure there are other examples of what you can control in your life. You can gain control over your eating & I am glad you have some help coming. In the mean time try baby steps of control ie not putting on what you have lost & controlling the exercise that you do every day. You can do this mate!0
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You really want it??
Then do it!! You need to practice some self-control!! Not trying to be mean, but that's what you sounds like you need!!
I am guilty of this myself. I still indulge here and there and that is probably why my weight loss has been slow. But you have to know when it's just not worth it.
Before eating out and buying junk, eat something good for you. Never leave the house hungry, this is one thing I have learned.
I'm sorry, but the OPs post makes me think it's a LOT more than a case of needing self control. Binge Eating is not simply a case of over indulging.
OP you could do with going to your doctor and seeing what help there is, or looking up what there is on the internet to help deal with binge eating. Maybe you need to start looking at yourself in a more kindly fashion? Geneen Roth might be a good place to start with a book of hers. She is very gentle and discusses our emotional attachment with food.
Be kind to yourself. You can't hate yourself in to changing. Not long term.
And all you are doing is using coping mechanisms that worked in the past to deal with stress or emotions. What you need to realise is that those coping mechanisms are no long serving the purpose they did, and they're not supporting you now.
Big hugs. You will get there. It's taken me 4 years of real self discovery to get to a place now where I feel ready to get healthy, but it doesn't mean the blips still don't sometimes happen. xxx0 -
Self control aka willpower is a skill and like many other skills it can be learned.
Set yourself small goals to start with - so just for today decide that you will eat healthily and make decisions re. food and exercise that are good for you. It's only one day after all....0 -
So - do you wanna end up like me??? Huge at 64 years old?? Wearing tents?? Possibly pre diabetic?? Bad knees and back??
NO!!! Then get back to it - remember YOU are the one putting food in your mouth, nobody else..... dig deep and find whatever you need to get going again - please0 -
Whether you think you can do or can't do something, you're right.
this... i love this quote!
that aside though, you maybe need to address the issues behind the overeating - you are eating your feelings instead of dealing wiht them. maybe a counsellor or something will help if you have had these problems for a while?0 -
I was a binge eater in a big way a few years ago. I was on this then on another account and I did find that it made my binges way more frequent too. Because I was focussing so much on my food and how many calories I was eating it was never out of my mind. If I went 1 calorie over my reccommended intake I would think 'What's the point and I would binge on 1000+ calories until my stomach felt like it was going to tear open! Personally, I decided to quit MFP and to actively work to take my attention away from food. I worked hard to get used to eating only 3 meals a day and maybe a snack. Maybe MFP isn't the place for you right now. You can lose weight without the obsession if you just take things one meal at a time which is something MFP isnt great for. I'm back on this now obviously. I feel like I am, for the most part, over my disorder but I do have to watch out to make sure I don't backslide.
Think about whether or not this site is good for you at this time.0 -
One thing that really helped me quit with the binge eating was getting rid of fatty horrible foods in my house!! I've replaced them with low calorie foods or even crunching on ice helps!! You WILL get there, it just takes time. Have you been doing compare pictures? Take a compare picture every month and the smaller you see yourself, the more motivated you'll be for the next month. Also allow yourself a small treat once a week maybe? I treat myself to a small takeaway each week so i have something to look forward too. Learn to say no if someone offers you a bag of crisps or something. My aim is to lose 2lb a week, may not sound much but it adds together and sometimes it's more than that! I'm not an expert, but i'm just telling you how i've coped with things. Good luck on your journey
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Check threads via the search function on binge eating. Binge eating isn't a lack of control issue. it's much more complex than that. To those who say "just dig deep and have some self control!" may not have an understanding of emotional eating, binge eating and other eating disorders. As this is the internets you'll have many people giving their opinion, which may not always be helpful without personal insight on an issue (opinions are like arseholes, everyone has one :happy: )
Overcoming Binge Eating by Christopher G. Fairburn is a great book, you can pick it up cheaply enough on Amazon. I've found it extremely useful and it helps me understand why I do it, and it's not because I'm lazy, greedy or weak willed. Good luck and keep your chin up, I know it can be hard :flowerforyou:0 -
You CAN do it - don't ever tell yourself that you can't do it because the whole process has to begin with believing whatever you choose to tell yourself. If you tell yourself you can't do it, then you won't do it.
It sounds like you have quite serious issues and it's good that you're seeking professional help for that. I hope you find it useful.
With regard to the financial aspect, have you tried setting yourself a budget and sticking to it? When you go food shopping, take out cash beforehand and don't take credit/debit cards with you so you can't go wild in the aisles. Set a realistic budget, and use a shopping list. Try and avoid walking past the problem foods. Another alternative is to buy your food online, so you can't be tempted by walking around the supermarket.
Good luck!0 -
Minn that is great advice. I just joined tonight and I must say that I was not ready until today. I thought I was ready but, life kept getting in the way. I am ready to do this for me. You are right this may not be where you need to be right now. But, you have to take a moment to yourself and think seriously about the next step you need to take in your life. I pray for you all the best.0
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Honey, step one is to throw the word 'diet' out of the window. If you 'diet' to get to a certain weight and then revert to normal once you've hit it, you'll just gain it all back. This is something you're going to do for the rest of your life. Healthy eating and regular exercise IS going to become your normal. It's a huge thing to take in when it's not really something you want, but eventually you fall in love with the way you look and feel and you never dream of going back.
That said, binge eating is often emotionally rooted and I understand that you are having a much more difficult time than someone without that issue would. I think weight loss will feel much easier and you will feel much better about yourself once you get some help for that, and I would encourage you to make that your priority, even if it means you have to stop logging calories for a while. Gotta have a good pair of running shoes before you try a marathon, right?
Whether or not MFP is what you need right now, I know you can do it and I know you will if you keep your goals in mind. Don't give up on what's important to you - I know and you know that's not what you want.0 -
It's not just binge eating, it's binge shopping. You can't eat a half a cheesecake if you don't have one in the house. When you buy fatty junk food on the promise that you won't over induldge you just set yourself up for failure. Clean out your cupboards and throw out everything that you know you shouldn't be eating. Find something else to do when you get that binge craving. For me it was sleep. I really enjoy sleeping. So when I was bored and craving I'd just go to bed. You can't eat if you're not awake. You're trying to change a lifetime of bad habits and behavior. You've never known how NOT to be fat. You can make this change but you have to understand that it does require change, and sacrifice. Weight loss isn't something that just happens to you. It's something that you make happen through pure force of will. You're fighting an addiction, just as strong as a drug habit. You have to decide that you're ready to leave your old life behind and try a new life. And that can be scary and uncomfortable and difficult. But that's the price each of us pays to become the person we want to be. I hope you find the strength to do this.0
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Thank you all for listening. I have to tell you I am quite young and immature and sometimes I get like this when I have a moan and whinge so thankyou for indulging me!!
I was just having a hard time, i am getting help though, the dr referred me and it begins on the 20th. I know lots of good tips and now you have told me some more on here (I like the idea of SLEEPING away an urge to eat!!!) I just have to try and follow them!
Sorry, what does eating your feelings mean? Sorry, I am not very clever!! I think it is half a cas that I have some sort of issue that needs help, and partly a fact of just I need more willpower,; I mean, there is no other way around losing weight!! I just have to try and learn that. Bhankiii, you are so right about binge shopping!! I think the ritual of buying the food is a part of what I get an urge to do. I think my diet gets busted before I even eat anything. Even before I BUY anything. Once i have DECIDED to buy it, that is it blown!! I tend to shop every day because keeping food in can be a risk, but I wonder if this is fuelling the shopping urge. I tried a new thing- I have bought 4 days worth of food and I am determined to stick to it. If I eat it before then I will have to starve a day or 2, hahaha!!
I had a talk with my sister today, she is older than me and she is very keen for me to lose weight. She was so delighted that I lost a stone, but she said she noticed I always struggle after the initial success (I have tried to diet many times before). She said some things to me that a re very hard to have to hear! Tht she thinks it is because I like the start bit when I can get lots of support but I am not willing to do the bit after when I should be becoming more self motivated and self reliant in my weight loss. She says she thinks I am immature (I told you!) and want to have people look after me instead of taking responsibility. She thinks I need other people to tell me I am doing good or bad instead of using my own resources. I was real upset hearing that but I think she is right because maybe why I needed to post here this is proof of that!! She loves me though, and that is hard to hear. But I definitely feel stronger today than yesterday anyways!
I feel like I got some insight into myself and that is a good start.
Thank you all for listening. Sorry about that xxxxxx0 -
I think weight loss coaching (http://www.dukandiet.com/Dukan-Coaching) can really help you stay focused and motivated, but I want to tell you- this journey is YOURS and yours alone. You have to understand that there are ups and down in weight loss (ask anyone on this forum who’s had to lose weight!), but they’ve lost the weight by keeping at it and NOT giving up. If you really want to lose weight, you’re going to have to do it by remembering that it will be hard, there WILL be days when you will probably see no result and that might make you feel disheartened, but if you keep at it, you WILL lose the weight. You can’t go wrong, if you never give up!0
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You can do this, start by using a smaller plate when you eat...it makes you think there's more to eat. It's a mind over matter thing. Eat what you want just in portion control. Eat more veggies they feel you up. And stop beating yourself up' we all fall down! YOU CAN DO THIS!
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I would look into Eat to Live. I started it 5 weeks ago and have lost 25 lbs since then. The first week I lost 10 lbs and have been losing 3 lbs/week steadily after the first week. I'm convinced it is the healthiest way to eat on the planet. I no longer count calories, eat until I'm satisfied, and cravings for unhealthy foods have pretty much vanished.
It's definitely worth considering.0 -
Do you have access to a medical professional?
It sounds like your problem might be with your emotions and mental state? (Not being mean or rude!!!)
If you had the ability to get evaluated by a medical professional, it would at least let you know if there is an underlying medical reason for your binging.
If it is not a medical issue. Perhaps it is dietary? If you are "depriving" yourself of foods that your body needs you may be creating scenarios where the binging is just your brain taking over to get at the sustenance your body is craving.
When you eat to lose weight, is your diet healthy? Have you tried to eat healthy and manage your calories?
I hope that you can sort things out and enjoy a healthy life style!0 -
Contol is very hard and I am fighting it all the time! I am an emotional eater and there is not a time I don't have some kind of emotion good or bad. Today I am taking self control in small doses. I can control from breakfast until lunch. If that is all I can do then I have controled that today. Maybe tomorrow I can control not eating from breakfast until lunch then from lunch until dinner.
that may take several days to get a grip on but then I can handle not eating between breakfast and lunch and lunch until dinner then I have learned not to eat between meals then I can add not eating after dinner. then when conqured start working on poritions
what I am trying to say is take it in steps you can handle if not you will not reach your goals we must walk and not run to keep from falling I hope this help and I hope I can apply it.
Have a blessed day 0 -
Whether you think you can do or can't do something, you're right.
My absolutely favorite quote by Henry Ford.
I write it on my mirror for some extra strength0 -
You can do this. You are NOT a failure. One day at a time. One pound at a time. There is no rush or pressure. Just do your little thing and it will happen. The good thing is you are noticing that you turn to food for comfort. Now, you must decide to turn away from the food when you are feeling overwhelmed. One of my friends says she gets out of the house. She removes herself from the food. I remind myself that overeating will not comfort me in the end. I will feel guilty and let myself down. You are going to have to decide that you REALLY want to lose the weight. It is up to you. Self control comes when your mind is set to finally lose the weight. It is your choice and all of the encouragement and "medical" intervention can not force it on you. Until your mind and heart are set on facing your weight and eating issues you will stay frustrated. Make small changes. Don't rush. Slow and steady wins the race. Best of luck to you.0
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Eating is an emotive issue
I was bulimic for 12 years and the althoguh have manged not to purge now - binging is stil very hard to overcome. Dont beat yourself up - your view of yourself is very negative - you put yoursef down and not just about your weight - start beign positive with yourself and change that little voice inside.
Learn to love you for you, and when you have done that try to loose weight - definitely recommend Geena Ford - good luck xxxxxxxx0 -
You really want it??
Then do it!! You need to practice some self-control!! Not trying to be mean, but that's what you sounds like you need!!
I am guilty of this myself. I still indulge here and there and that is probably why my weight loss has been slow. But you have to know when it's just not worth it.
Before eating out and buying junk, eat something good for you. Never leave the house hungry, this is one thing I have learned.
OP has an eating disorder. This is a mental health issue not a will power/self control issue.0
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