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  • Tony_Brewski
    Tony_Brewski Posts: 1,376 Member
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    I agree with Tara. Maybe it is her way of dealing with HER insecurities about her body...could be jealousy...could be fearful of you leaving her...could be causing her to take a hard look at her fitness level and "forcing" her to have to make decisions about her own body to "keep up" with you and your fitness...good topic to explore further....

    No changes on her side for fitness. Still doin what she always does. Complains complains complains... and if this is her way of showing insecurities over it... Ugh I am eff'd.
  • tripitena
    tripitena Posts: 554 Member
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    No, he doesnt show any less interest in me and he is always supportive.

    What bothers me is that a year ago when "we" decided we needed to lose some pounds and change our lifestyle he said things like"we need to lose weight". Now he doesnt say anything about "we" have lost weight. I have lost a good chunk and am continuing to to try to lose more. He lost 20lbs (needs to lose probably 40 more) and the subject pretty much vanished. Kinda bums me out:huh:
  • KBrenOH
    KBrenOH Posts: 704 Member
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    I would be over the moon if my husband started getting fitter; not that I don't love him but the pregnant belly thing he has going on isn't healthy.

    So I'd seriously talk to her about it. Maybe it is an insecurity issue.

    Good luck to you either way :drinker:
  • MireyGal76
    MireyGal76 Posts: 7,334 Member
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    the guy I was kind of seeing seemed to become more detached the better shape I got into... I think the six pack bugged him. I am kinda freaking intimidating to start with... maybe it's just too much.

    p.s. I would TOTALLY love to cuddle up to a hard body... just sayin
  • corn63
    corn63 Posts: 1,580 Member
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    I agree with Tara. Maybe it is her way of dealing with HER insecurities about her body...could be jealousy...could be fearful of you leaving her...could be causing her to take a hard look at her fitness level and "forcing" her to have to make decisions about her own body to "keep up" with you and your fitness...good topic to explore further....

    No changes on her side for fitness. Still doin what she always does. Complains complains complains... and if this is her way of showing insecurities over it... Ugh I am eff'd.

    You sound like you have the perfect marriage. Yikes.
  • MommaKit79
    MommaKit79 Posts: 852
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    OMG!!! SERIOUSLY CHIC?!?!?!?! I love my husband, dont get me wrong, and it doesnt bother me that he has a belly. BUT, OMG, if her was muscly and toned...OMG, i dont think we would ever leave the bedroom!!! :) Just Sayin'
  • gshoemaker06
    gshoemaker06 Posts: 264 Member
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    I used to. I think she was getting jealous that more ladies were showing interest in me (we were long distance as I was in college). It wouldn't have been an issue, aside from the fact that her jealousy created lots of issues between us.

    My current significant other is incredibly supportive and motivates me to be my best.
  • JPKemp
    JPKemp Posts: 25
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    I agree with Tara. Maybe it is her way of dealing with HER insecurities about her body...could be jealousy...could be fearful of you leaving her...could be causing her to take a hard look at her fitness level and "forcing" her to have to make decisions about her own body to "keep up" with you and your fitness...good topic to explore further....

    so her reasoning would be push him away and say some effed up stuff.... this is why doing what you don't believe in is silly to me. If she feels that way, shouldn't she want to hold him close and say 'damn I am lucky'?

    thank God I am not in that boat....

    Defense mechanism...
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
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    I lost my friend with benefits when I got down to a size 12.

    he said he liked bigger girls and he knew where i was headed.

    funny thing was that he'd been fluffy before and was getting super fit as well.

    that hurt that he wanted me to stay plump while he got ripped.

    i didnt answer, i just left and never contacted him again.

    :(
  • _Tara_R
    _Tara_R Posts: 688 Member
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    Have a significant other that seems to be less and less interested in you since you've been losing weight and toning up? Or am I the only one on this boat? My wife says "Its one thing to look at muscles, but gross I do not want to touch them or cuddle up to them."

    Wow!!! She must be crazy!!!
  • Tony_Brewski
    Tony_Brewski Posts: 1,376 Member
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    I used to. I think she was getting jealous that more ladies were showing interest in me (we were long distance as I was in college). It wouldn't have been an issue, aside from the fact that her jealousy created lots of issues between us.

    My current significant other is incredibly supportive and motivates me to be my best.

    She supports me dont get me wrong... I got a blank check for my fitness... I get the "you're doing good, looking really good" speaches.
  • MikeyD1280
    MikeyD1280 Posts: 5,257
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    I agree with Tara. Maybe it is her way of dealing with HER insecurities about her body...could be jealousy...could be fearful of you leaving her...could be causing her to take a hard look at her fitness level and "forcing" her to have to make decisions about her own body to "keep up" with you and your fitness...good topic to explore further....

    so her reasoning would be push him away and say some effed up stuff.... this is why doing what you don't believe in is silly to me. If she feels that way, shouldn't she want to hold him close and say 'damn I am lucky'?

    thank God I am not in that boat....

    Defense mechanism...

    a terrible one! cause this can conclude the relationship. Then 5 years will pass and she will regret it because she didn't mean it, and he will find someone to suit him....

    AND I hope DUC78 gets someone to appreciate him.
  • xandra
    xandra Posts: 101 Member
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    Question: Is your wife overweight? Maybe she is insecure and thinks that you will find someone else when you are fit and toned. Or that you will no longer find her attractive you you are fit and toned.
  • Katahna
    Katahna Posts: 326 Member
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    They. are. jealous. =]
  • tourettte
    tourettte Posts: 142 Member
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    My ex used to say: I'm ok with it if you are, but the moment you start losing *kitten* cm/inches I'll start complaining :D
  • 12skipafew99100
    12skipafew99100 Posts: 1,669 Member
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    I lost my friend with benefits when I got down to a size 12.

    he said he liked bigger girls and he knew where i was headed.

    funny thing was that he'd been fluffy before and was getting super fit as well.

    that hurt that he wanted me to stay plump while he got ripped.

    i didnt answer, i just left and never contacted him again.

    :(


    sad
  • faerie_queen
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    I can't believe she's saying that! :(

    My boyfriend said he'd love me no matter my weight but he sure is loving my toned legs! :blushing:
  • kytte
    kytte Posts: 323 Member
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    i don't have that problem, yet. but if i were in your shoes, i'd ignore that entirely. if she doesn't want to cuddle with you, then don't cuddle. she'll either come around, or something in that relationship will move along. it seems that part of what she says is personal preference, (and yes, some women feel that way about men=soft squishy teddy bears), and another part of it is her own insecurities. either way, it shouldn't stop you from being the person that you ultimately want to be.
    hth
  • apedeb09
    apedeb09 Posts: 805 Member
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    Nope... seems to be the opposite for me. :wink:
  • JPKemp
    JPKemp Posts: 25
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    I agree with Tara. Maybe it is her way of dealing with HER insecurities about her body...could be jealousy...could be fearful of you leaving her...could be causing her to take a hard look at her fitness level and "forcing" her to have to make decisions about her own body to "keep up" with you and your fitness...good topic to explore further....

    so her reasoning would be push him away and say some effed up stuff.... this is why doing what you don't believe in is silly to me. If she feels that way, shouldn't she want to hold him close and say 'damn I am lucky'?

    thank God I am not in that boat....

    Defense mechanism...

    a terrible one! cause this can conclude the relationship. Then 5 years will pass and she will regret it because she didn't mean it, and he will find someone to suit him....

    AND I hope DUC78 gets someone to appreciate him.

    I hope he does too...especially supporting him in ALL the POSITIVE CHANGES!!!! Everyone deserves that....