UGH!!!!!! Need advice

TxAngel79
TxAngel79 Posts: 318 Member
in Chit-Chat
Normally I wouldn't talk to complete strangers about this, but I need help! It seems that my husband does not want me...in an intimate way! I mean it's been a while, and he just came home from work on a break.....I had literally just stepped out of the shower...and NOTHING!! Instead he asks for some pain pills(that I have due to multiple kidney stones) not caring that I am almost out. Pats me on the stomach gives me a little peck and leaves. I thought I was beginning to look good, but I'm beginning to think not! So flipping frustrated!! How can I seduce my husband?!?!?! Any advice is welcome!

Replies

  • Mummyadams
    Mummyadams Posts: 1,125 Member
    Tell him someone from your gym has been checking you out - that should get his A into G
  • stfriend
    stfriend Posts: 256 Member
    Honestly it sounds like he was tired and in pain. It probably had nothing to do with you at all. I would simply wait until he's feeling better and try again.
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    Instead he asks for some pain pills(that I have due to multiple kidney stones) not caring that I am almost out.
    What? My guess would be either he's in severe pain and obviously not thinking about sex, or he's addicted to your pain killers. How do you just throw this little tidbit in the middle of the story like it's nothing?
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,450 Member
    Instead he asks for some pain pills(that I have due to multiple kidney stones) not caring that I am almost out.
    What? My guess would be either he's in severe pain and obviously not thinking about sex, or he's addicted to your pain killers. How do you just throw this little tidbit in the middle of the story like it's nothing?

    That. Plus why assume you aren't sexy if he doesn't want to jump you every time you think he should.
  • mfkn_Titanium
    mfkn_Titanium Posts: 131
    Give him the pain pills....a few shots of vodka....and then sit on his face. Works every time!
  • TxAngel79
    TxAngel79 Posts: 318 Member
    Instead he asks for some pain pills(that I have due to multiple kidney stones) not caring that I am almost out.
    What? My guess would be either he's in severe pain and obviously not thinking about sex, or he's addicted to your pain killers. How do you just throw this little tidbit in the middle of the story like it's nothing?


    Ok yes I didn't explain that. He says they give him energy and he's working 16 hour shifts. No he is not in pain! And no this is a long standing problem about the intimacy! I'm at a complete loss on what to do anymore!
  • Gr8ChangesAhead
    Gr8ChangesAhead Posts: 836 Member
    Give him the pain pills....a few shots of vodka....and then sit on his face. Works every time!

    This absolutley should work, excellent idea :tongue:
  • TxAngel79
    TxAngel79 Posts: 318 Member
    Instead he asks for some pain pills(that I have due to multiple kidney stones) not caring that I am almost out.
    What? My guess would be either he's in severe pain and obviously not thinking about sex, or he's addicted to your pain killers. How do you just throw this little tidbit in the middle of the story like it's nothing?

    That. Plus why assume you aren't sexy if he doesn't want to jump you every time you think he should.


    Point being he doesn't at all!! Maybe once a month if I'm lucky once every two weeks!
  • TxAngel79
    TxAngel79 Posts: 318 Member
    Give him the pain pills....a few shots of vodka....and then sit on his face. Works every time!


    I'll give it a shot!
  • Treesy72
    Treesy72 Posts: 230
    Text him some super sexy "money shots" of you and if that doesn't work then you may need to have a sit down talk with him. Maybe he's just in a rutt.
  • ZugTheMegasaurus
    ZugTheMegasaurus Posts: 801 Member
    Instead he asks for some pain pills(that I have due to multiple kidney stones) not caring that I am almost out.
    What? My guess would be either he's in severe pain and obviously not thinking about sex, or he's addicted to your pain killers. How do you just throw this little tidbit in the middle of the story like it's nothing?


    Ok yes I didn't explain that. He says they give him energy and he's working 16 hour shifts. No he is not in pain! And no this is a long standing problem about the intimacy! I'm at a complete loss on what to do anymore!
    Yeah, that's called opioid abuse. A bad sex life is probably the least of your problems; get him some help.
  • Mummyadams
    Mummyadams Posts: 1,125 Member
    Talk to him
  • IAM_WORTH_IT
    IAM_WORTH_IT Posts: 13
    Give him the pain pills....a few shots of vodka....and then sit on his face. Works every time!

    :laugh: love it! :bigsmile:
  • rozsbluejay
    rozsbluejay Posts: 303 Member
    Try to initiate it in the bedroom if it doesn't work by then...I would suggest talking.
  • RobynMWilson
    RobynMWilson Posts: 1,540 Member
    He's taking pain pills not prescribed for him? And how often does he do this? Narcotic painkillers, especially excessive use, will kill a man's sex drive!
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,284 Member
    Instead he asks for some pain pills(that I have due to multiple kidney stones) not caring that I am almost out.
    How do you just throw this little tidbit in the middle of the story like it's nothing?


    Ok yes I didn't explain that. He says they give him energy and he's working 16 hour shifts. No he is not in pain!

    That doesn't sound good.
  • TxAngel79
    TxAngel79 Posts: 318 Member
    I do not believe his addicted to the pills, he only takes them when working the night shift. To be honest this is a problem that has been going on for a while. We have talked about it! Things got real good then went back downhill! I know we all have ruts, but I just feel unwanted. I know he's not cheating, so that's not the problem.
  • dvcab
    dvcab Posts: 78
    Ask him you may not like what you hear but at least you will know and can deal with it
  • TxAngel79
    TxAngel79 Posts: 318 Member
    I have asked him, and his answer is sex isn't that big of a deal. Granted we have been together 10 years, but for a while in the beginning we could not keep our hands off each other! I'll admit I was the one who tried to get him into my bed first! He knew I was a girl who loved it when we got married! As I said we will have a talk, and afterwards we have two amazing weeks! Then it's back to the way it was! Example.....Last weekend we were at a big party lake. We were having a great time and he was showing me alot of attention! I was excited! When we got home nothing! I do admit that the next morning I woke him up and demanded it and got my way, but nothing since!
  • HogSandwich
    HogSandwich Posts: 146 Member
    the real issue now is that you two have already problematised sex.

    Can I suggest getting a little drunk, watch some porn, and see where it takes you? The less attention you can pay to the fact that its "been a while", the better.

    Also some new lingerie. Subtle doesn't appear to work on dudes so go straight out filthy.
  • ZugTheMegasaurus
    ZugTheMegasaurus Posts: 801 Member
    I do not believe his addicted to the pills, he only takes them when working the night shift. To be honest this is a problem that has been going on for a while. We have talked about it! Things got real good then went back downhill! I know we all have ruts, but I just feel unwanted. I know he's not cheating, so that's not the problem.
    A person doesn't have to be physically addicted for the behavior to be a red flag. People don't become addicts overnight; it's a gradual process that creeps up on you. If it were obvious, no one would ever do it. The things that stick out to me are that he is taking prescription painkillers that are prescribed to someone else and that it doesn't bother him that you will not have them if you need them in the future. That's at least worth a serious closer look.

    The other thing about it is that these behaviors don't exist in a vacuum. People do them for a reason, and these are often reasons that contribute to loss of interest in sex. Stress, problems in life, mood issues, mental issues, or a variety of other factors can really mess with someone's enjoyment of life and relationships.

    Of course, I can't say for sure what's wrong. But based on what you've said here, I think it deserves some serious attention and isn't just a case of a dry spell. If something's wrong, you'll help him. And if nothing is actually wrong, perhaps the extra attention will jumpstart something for you.
  • Irish_eyes75
    Irish_eyes75 Posts: 475
    I think you're in denial about the pain pills.

    As to the topic at hand: Communication: you have to talk to him and tell him how you feel but don't nag, whine or blame him. Also ask him if there's something going on with him that's causing his lack of interest in sex. I know most men don't want to talk about their feelings but he may surprise you.
  • TxAngel79
    TxAngel79 Posts: 318 Member
    I do not believe his addicted to the pills, he only takes them when working the night shift. To be honest this is a problem that has been going on for a while. We have talked about it! Things got real good then went back downhill! I know we all have ruts, but I just feel unwanted. I know he's not cheating, so that's not the problem.
    A person doesn't have to be physically addicted for the behavior to be a red flag. People don't become addicts overnight; it's a gradual process that creeps up on you. If it were obvious, no one would ever do it. The things that stick out to me are that he is taking prescription painkillers that are prescribed to someone else and that it doesn't bother him that you will not have them if you need them in the future. That's at least worth a serious closer look.

    The other thing about it is that these behaviors don't exist in a vacuum. People do them for a reason, and these are often reasons that contribute to loss of interest in sex. Stress, problems in life, mood issues, mental issues, or a variety of other factors can really mess with someone's enjoyment of life and relationships.

    Of course, I can't say for sure what's wrong. But based on what you've said here, I think it deserves some serious attention and isn't just a case of a dry spell. If something's wrong, you'll help him. And if nothing is actually wrong, perhaps the extra attention will jumpstart something for you.


    Thanks!
  • ElizabethRoad
    ElizabethRoad Posts: 5,138 Member
    He's taking your medication that you actually need, to give himself "energy". He values his high more than your well-being.
  • Glassjaw01
    Glassjaw01 Posts: 17
    As an ex user, pain medication will kill a sex drive almost all of the time.

    Also, it is very easy to hide a pain pill addiction. You may not know it, but he can be heavily addicted to this things. It is serious.

    And to those saying to drink alcohol with them......yeah...not a good idea. Its not even funny to joke about.
  • MrsBully4
    MrsBully4 Posts: 304 Member
    The painkiller abuse is serious. Like, SERIOUS-serious. Forget the sex issue, work on the painkiller issue.
  • trm981
    trm981 Posts: 42 Member
    I do not believe his addicted to the pills, he only takes them when working the night shift. To be honest this is a problem that has been going on for a while. We have talked about it! Things got real good then went back downhill! I know we all have ruts, but I just feel unwanted. I know he's not cheating, so that's not the problem.
    A person doesn't have to be physically addicted for the behavior to be a red flag. People don't become addicts overnight; it's a gradual process that creeps up on you. If it were obvious, no one would ever do it. The things that stick out to me are that he is taking prescription painkillers that are prescribed to someone else and that it doesn't bother him that you will not have them if you need them in the future. That's at least worth a serious closer look.

    The other thing about it is that these behaviors don't exist in a vacuum. People do them for a reason, and these are often reasons that contribute to loss of interest in sex. Stress, problems in life, mood issues, mental issues, or a variety of other factors can really mess with someone's enjoyment of life and relationships.

    Of course, I can't say for sure what's wrong. But based on what you've said here, I think it deserves some serious attention and isn't just a case of a dry spell. If something's wrong, you'll help him. And if nothing is actually wrong, perhaps the extra attention will jumpstart something for you.

    This is an excellent post. Something is really wrong with the situation you described. Casual prescription pain medication use can escalate quickly. My younger brother took it occasionally. Soon it wasn't occasionally. It was every day. In increasingly large amounts. Until he died two years ago at the age of 23 from overdosing on it.
  • Melroxsox
    Melroxsox Posts: 1,040 Member
    maybe he suffers from low Testosterone?
  • obrendao
    obrendao Posts: 318
    Anyone who uses painkillers for anything aside from their intended use is at the very least misusing them. And as with above poster, painkillers plus alcohol = severely hepatotoxic. Most painkillers are opioids combined with acetaminophen, and its the latter which is toxic to the liver.

    Definitely address the painkiller issue first, they are not to be used this way. It could be he is using them to cope with stress of nightshift work or other factors, which is a bad idea. The stress, the use of painkillers, all of it may seem benign right now but it has potential to snowball.

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