Anyone have anxiety/fear about their changing body??

I'm only down 5 lbs right now but my body seems to be changing by the day...and every morning it's like waking up on Christmas morning to see how I'm going to look/feel. I find myself kind of having mixed emotions...like excitement mixed with panic...about my body changing. As much as I've wanted to lose this weight and look different, it's almost as I'm afraid at the same time to have my body change into something I've never known. I'll get these brief moments of panic and it's almost as if I have a compulsion to go screw it up...go eat something bad...so that I can be "comfortable" again at the place (weight/body image) I've been living at for so long...but it's one that I hate. Am I completely crazy...does that even make any sense??? Just wondering if anybody else has felt this way during their journey.

Replies

  • hfzimmerman
    hfzimmerman Posts: 200 Member
    That's what has been holding me back / screwing me up. My entire life I've been huge I have never know what its like to be smaller or at a weight that's appropriate for my size. I hear these stories all the time about these people that lose a lot of weight and turn into completely different people which terrifies me. I also get the thoughts of what if I look funny thin/ fit etc?? What if my boobs go away and my butt goes away?? What if what if what if ..I panic about it constantly because I don't know...but if I'm being well stay big I know what I look like what people think of me what I think of myself. We just have to try and stay focused
  • TheVimFuego
    TheVimFuego Posts: 2,412 Member
    No, I can identify with that ... Sometimes I think that I don't 'deserve' whatever level of health I am aiming for. It's probably a low self-esteem thing that goes way back.

    Change is stressful, even successful change ... new image, new ways of thinking, new habits, new friends and even dumping ones that are toxic to whatever your health goals are, it's all tied in.

    The way I see it is that my body was born wanting to be optimally fit (I was lucky enough not to have specific health issues early in life so I can't blame genetics) and I have been doing my best to sabotage this with my nutrition, primarily. I've always been physically active so no issues there.

    Now I am working with my body I am just going to let it naturally pull me back to whatever level of health I can manage. It won't be as good as if I hadn't strayed from the path but it will be as close as I can get.

    I just stick with my plan ... eat natural, filling, nutrient-dense food and let the body sort it out, as it is designed to.
  • awillkies
    awillkies Posts: 53 Member
    wow what a great question! no. i finally welcome it. when i was pregnant, i gained a HUGE pregnant belly. i was okay with it because well i was pregant. but after my son was born though then the fear & anxiety kicked in. i tried my best to take it in stride. but being very small framed to begin with & never having had so much weight ever in my life; there i was left with it and especially since most of it carried right up in front!! but i've been slow to take it off (maybe i was holding on to some of it for security & maybe i didn't want my body to change because i had such memories of being pregnant) anywho... now i'm at the last leg... & i'm excited.

    thanks for posting this though. i always find it interesting &i think it's important to do some soul searching through this process.
  • rachellosesitall85
    rachellosesitall85 Posts: 497 Member
    Melissa,

    I feel the same way you do at times. I wasn't a fat/chubby child, but I used food to comfort and protect me and I'm still in the stage of protection even though I'm 27 now. I'm afraid of gaining too much attention and I'm not sure what I would do in those types of situations. I'm a pretty girl and my main fear is unwanted male attention and bad attention I can get from other females who think I'm competition once more of my physical features are exposed. I think you have to look at it as "growth" and doing something good for yourself. You're the same person whether you physically change or not. I see it as evolving, and perhaps getting a fresh new outlook on life. Now I'm wondering what it's like to look like the person I'm supposed to be/look like. I think as you continue doing good things for your body that you will grow to love the new you and I hope you do. It's scary, but I think it's something everyone feels when they make a huge change in their lives. I'm going to add you just in case you need support!
  • briannadunn
    briannadunn Posts: 841 Member
    I think that I too struggle with that. I would get down to 198 and bounce up to over 210 and back and forth for 4 years because I was afraid of more change and because of birthcontrol I had to workout very hard to lose a pound but it came back easily. I was so bad about not wanting to change I ate 10 donuts in a sitting..2 yrs later and a lot healther and losing my 5 th baby weight I am more comfortable losing the weight. It takes time to change your midset. Losing it slowly helps with adjusting to your image though. I am not looking forward to the loose belly skin though.
  • I'm scared that after all my hard work, I'm going to have loose skin. I have 120 pounds to lose (already lost 23 yay!) And I've been big my whole life. I'm 21, 5'7" and current weigh 268. I drink lots of water and from the beginning have done weight trainings along with cardio. I am losing it slowly on average of 1.5 pounds a week for the last two months. I just really hope I don't have problems with it. After waiting my whole life and however long it takes me to reach my goal weight(around 170), I just want to be beautiful. I know beauty is on the inside and I think I'm pretty but if I could get down in weight...I'd be sexxxxy! ;-)
  • MzKnappiiRed
    MzKnappiiRed Posts: 3 Member
    I personally understand what you're saying...that is exactly how I feel. I actually weigh myself everyday just to see how much I lose or gain. However, I was just talking to my bff yesterday and telling her how I'm soooo worried that I will have excess skin and I won't look right slim but I still wanna lose the weight just to see what it will look like. I think I deserve to look different especially since I have looked the same for so long but that doesn't change the nervousness I have about it. I agree with you though.
  • StellaHelms
    StellaHelms Posts: 3 Member
    Yep, sure do have some fears about changing. I'm in my 40's and the doctor told me it may make me look older. I said thats not much of an incentive. I've been in the health field most of my life and have seen what loosing drastic amounts of weight can so to people s bodies. I just hope I don't get the saggy skin, but I am eating right and exercising everyday now and do see good changes in the shape and the way I feel is great most of the time.
  • jopipa1
    jopipa1 Posts: 12 Member
    I completely understand what you're going through, it's definitely a struggle I go through every day!
    I try to think about the health benefits more than the actual physical change, it tends to keep me calm. Not to say I don't get super excited when I lose some inches and pounds ;)
    If you don't mind me asking, do you have a lot to lose?
  • ahmommy
    ahmommy Posts: 316 Member
    I think anxiety about change is totally normal and to be expected, it doesn't matter whether it's positive change or not. For example, having a baby is considered to be the best thing in life (usually). But it's also extremely stressful. Getting married is another example. Changing your whole body would fit right in, I think. You're going from what you know, what's comfortable, into the unknown and supposed-to-be-better. It WILL be better, but you aren't there yet so it's hard to really believe it.

    I think part of it also is fear of failure. The mindset of, "It takes so long and it's so hard, I probably won't make it anyway, so if I sabotage myself on purpose then I won't feel like a failure later."
  • I just left the Doctors office ...The doctor said to be conscious of any obsessive compulsive and turning into a fruit cake....lol ....I told him I was obsessive and it will benefit me for once......As for the Anxiety..... Some people have a hard time dealing with success. I know that may sound crazy but I have witnessed that numerous times on various subjects.
  • megalin9
    megalin9 Posts: 771 Member
    Yes. I was able to put on and button a size 14 pants the other day, which I don't think I've worn since MIDDLE SCHOOL, and it freaked me out! Needless to say, I bought the 16s, which is my pre-pregnancy size and really the smallest I've ever been as an adult, and they are baggy! I just wasn't ready yet to buy those 14s. I couldn't wrap my mind around it. Once I get where I HAVE to buy them, I know I'll be excited, but it was just that initial shock, I guess.
  • This has turned into a great thread and you guys have all given me things to think about...and I'm so glad I'm not the only one that thinks strange things...lol. I'm not quite sure what the fear is about...there's definite fear about loose skin and what I'll look like...but it's more than that...probably the increase in attention that may happen, which is something I'm not comfortable with (being noticed)...probably fear of failure...maybe fear of being noticed AND not feeling worthy. I'm not sure exactly yet...but I'm going to keep plugging away and pushing forward...even when my fears and anxieties tell my head that I need to screw it up now and go back to being "comfortably uncomfortable"...so bizarre right..not being comfortable being heavy, but then not being comfortable NOT being heavy. What is that!?? But thank you guys all for posting...this journey is definitely an inside-out one for sure! :)
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