psych

I am no stranger to diet and exercise. I have had success with Weight Watchers in the past, but the members didn't really talk about the things that are delved into in this forum and I'm not willing to spend the money on that when I don't really want to go to the meetings. They changed their system to a less user-friendly format, too, which turned me off. Strangely enough, I learned about the effects of carbs on my psyche and body when I went on the Atkins diet some years ago. I didn't lose any weight doing that, but I sure learned that carbs are a problem for me. I have never gone back to the kind of diet I ate before that, and by and large I eat what most people would call a "healthy" diet, high in fiber, moderate fat and protein, just too much of it. I usually enjoy exercise but these days I don't get to do it at the hour of the day I would like (in the evening) so it's become more of a chore. I do have to remind myself to drink more water, though. One thing I heard at a Weight Watchers meeting is that thirst is sometimes perceived as hunger, so it's better to drink some water first to determine if it's really hunger. That works when I do it, but I do still get hungry. Today, at this time of day, I am about 400 cal short of my day's limit. That's not much of a dinner, but I'll see if I can fill it out enough with vegetables to not wake up starving in the morning. Exercise is key to weight loss, but in my life to this point, even when I have seriously cut back on calories and dilligently exercised vigorously, it takes forever to lose weight. I've never lost more than 2 lbs per week unless I was sick enough to not eat for days. And I rarely get sick.
I'm also having trouble imagining continuing to eat the way it would be necessary to eat to maintain the weight loss if I ever did actually get to my goal. The smaller your body is, the less it needs to survive. I think the more important goal for me is not the weight loss but a shift in perception and behavior so that, as you say, I know I can eat, but I don't. Even bettter, I don't think about food at all unless I get hungry, then eat only enough to not be hungry right then and go on about my other business, not thinking about food, again. The times I've paid attention to how long it takes to satisfy physical hunger I have found that it takes very little food, often just a few bites. There are a lot of environmental factors that make it difficult to eat that way. The bite-sized food is often processed and high carb or high fat. Salads and meat are not usually bite-sized and don't keep that well when you take a few bites and put it back in the 'fridge.
I hear myself making excuses just now, so I'll recognize that and stop, but I will say I do have trouble nibbling instead of eating a meal.
Thanks for your input! Every little bit helps.

Thank you. I recognize the addiction component of what I do and the way I feel about it. I have considered OA and looked into where the meetings are. I know if I say that the tiimes and locations of the meetings are terribly inconvenient it could be pointed out that I am making excuses to continue with my addiction, but they really are terribly inconvenient. I won't die at the moment, or harm anyone else by continuing in my addiction. I'm not trying to justify it, just acknowlege it. The main problem is the psychic discomfort it causes me and has caused me for many years. Stuffing feelings is something I need to become more aware of and I'm using the "notes about eating" on my food tally page to try to do that. Anxiety and boredome are my biggest triggers to want to eat. There is also the thought that it is a terrible waste to throw food away that keeps me eating more than I know I should or even want to. I have to give that up and train myself to take very small portions to start, knowing that I could have more if I want, and pay attention to when I get physically satisfied along with what emotions might be needing to be stuffed. I think food is more of an avoidance or distraction than a comfort when it comes to it being my drug. And I'm glad to know I'm not alone.