Feeling sorry for myself

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I know that I'm not the only one who has days where you feel really sorry yourself and could quite happily eat yourself senseless but how does everyone cope with that whilst wanting to lose weight. I am not massively overweight, most would say I'm just right but I would like to lose a few pounds and tone up.

I admit that I am an emotional eater but I want to learn how to control this. Any tips or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

I HATE days like today.

Replies

  • m23gm25
    m23gm25 Posts: 157
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    I just had 2 days in a row like that but today I'm better. One thing I have found out is if all goes well and I can get out early and take my walk around the block (2.8mi.almost all of it uphill) then I feel good all day and motivated. But if not, I get depressed and nervous and pretty much spend the day spinning my wheels and accomplishing nothing and feeling like a nothing. Try walking it might clear your head.
  • AzhureSnow
    AzhureSnow Posts: 289 Member
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    A few things have helped me overcome my emotional eating habit.
    I have struggled with anxiety and depression for years. I've been on cocktails of medication and therapy and everything you can think of. Now, I'm down to one pill (Zoloft) a day, and I run. I find my mental state is better when I get up and run first thing in the morning (it takes a week or two to convince your body to actually get to it first thing, but it can happen). If I get my run in, it sets my day off right. I can use that 20 minutes to clear my head, center myself emotionally and spiritually, and just have a balanced start. I also tend to be less prone to impulse eating when I have breakfast. If I skip breakfast, I tend to binge at some point during the day. I also "pre-log" my foods, especially if we're going out for dinner, so that before I even get to the table I know what I can indulge in without spending big calories. If you've worked it into your diet, then you know it's okay to have a snack. If you're approaching your limit, but feel a need to eat something (for me, it's always ice cream), do a quick bit of cardio to "earn it". You will be surprised to find that at the end of the cardio, you may not want that snack anymore, and the extra deficit will aid your weight loss. If you DO still want the snack, then you can indulge guilt-free.
  • sevsmom
    sevsmom Posts: 1,172 Member
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    Physcial activity usually distacts me from my mindless eating. Unless I'm stuck at work then I munch like crazy. Some days, i just give in to the emotional eating. . .but not for more than a day or so. I don't beat myself up and I get back to being more selective about my food.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    I'm going to come into this thread and feel sorry for myself, too, okay? Every day that I have to wake up early is a day of cravings. I seem to have a Pavlovian response to hearing an alarm clock in the morning. Just the sound of it makes me stressed out, depressed, angry, and most of all, hungry!

    So far, I have resisted all the yummy, comforting foods calling my name this past week, but it's much harder than it was when I could just sleep in. And no, going to bed earlier doesn't help, I'm just not a morning person. When I try to sleep at a reasonable hour, all I do is toss and turn.
  • rmartin72
    rmartin72 Posts: 1,094 Member
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    I'm honestly the same way too emotional eater and I know I have bad and good days! Each day is different for me too. I have to take control of my thoughts and my attitude early in the morning and start of positive and work out and I have a choice to make in my life today and I'm the only person that can make a difference in what I do, No one else can run my life for me!! I have to dye of self each day and start new and make decision what I'm going to do and say and how my actions are going to be!! I'm here to support and encourage and be a friend!! I Hope it helps some one else!!
  • Justkf
    Justkf Posts: 208 Member
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    I have these days too. whether they are hormonal or endorphin driven I am not certain; I am not a structured excerciser but I have found if I don't do SOMETHING everyday the self pity can creep in all too quickly and sometimes it still does....but I recover quicker. So for me, walking at my lunch hour, or riding my bike after work (even tho i would rather cook and have a glass of wine) seems to be the recipe for good mood and positive thinking. The pilates I do twice a week is a routine but the walking/riding seems to help my brain-I have suffered from anxiety in the past and even dibilitating panic attacks but not in the last 3 years since I started moving my *kitten* more. Hope this helps. :wink:
  • homeymoney
    homeymoney Posts: 16 Member
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    Hi! I just joined this site yesterday! I have been successful in losing weight but then get back in old habits and now weigh the most I ever have, I fight depression, which most of the time is under control. If you would like to chat, just let me know!
  • shellux
    shellux Posts: 164 Member
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    Thanks guys. I'm glad I'm not alone with days like these (although new I wouldn't be). It just boils down to focusing on how I want to live my life, by controlling it than being controlled by it. We can overcome our dark thoughts and get through them. I will go for a walk this evening and hopefully clear my head for a more positive day tomorrow.

    Add me as a friend if you like, all that have commented, as to know there is someone out there who understands is a GREAT help.
  • virichi08
    virichi08 Posts: 465 Member
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    When i feel that way i really hve to DIG DEEEP and pray. (if ur not a spiritual person then digging deep will work too) I've learned to ask talk to myself, "are u really hungry" "Ok, you're in a bad mood, why eat then get upset later about it and feel worse?" Yes, i literally do talk to myself, lol. but it has been working for me.

    Usually when i feel the need to eat for emotional reasons i sit back and wait 20 mins or (while tlking to myself) and wait it out... and if i still feel like eating then i wait some more and talk some more until i am ready to eat because i'm actually hunary! =) Hope that helped.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    When i feel that way i really hve to DIG DEEEP and pray. (if ur not a spiritual person then digging deep will work too) I've learned to ask talk to myself, "are u really hungry" "Ok, you're in a bad mood, why eat then get upset later about it and feel worse?" Yes, i literally do talk to myself, lol. but it has been working for me.

    Usually when i feel the need to eat for emotional reasons i sit back and wait 20 mins or (while tlking to myself) and wait it out... and if i still feel like eating then i wait some more and talk some more until i am ready to eat because i'm actually hunary! =) Hope that helped.

    This is very similar to the thought processes I put myself through when I'm craving, and it helps a lot. If I'm not hungry for just about anything, if what I want is specific, I know it's a craving and not food I want for my body, but food I want to use to soothe my stressed out brain. It doesn't make me stop wanting it necessarily, but at least it tells me why I want it.
  • Xanne
    Xanne Posts: 27 Member
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    I share the same problem - emotional eating - and it really can sap your motivation. I've also battled depression (and anxiety) most of my life (and I'm 71), and try as I might, cannot completely rid myself of my meds. (Also had ECT years ago; not fun!)
    I have found that the ONLY thing that will get me out of that funk is exercise -which is a real challenge now, since I have severe arthritis and had spinal surgery. I can't run any more - that REALLY helps, if you are able! (how I miss that) - but even walking is a great help. Of course, the biggest problem is that when you're feeling down, that's the last thing you want to do! But, it really is worth it to force yourself out the door.

    You CAN do it! You are strong and beautiful, and worth whatever it takes to make you feel good. Eating might do that for a few minutes, but exercise will do it for the rest of the day! You go, girl!
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
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    For me it was drinking so I joined program, worked the steps and I also had a good deal of therapy. Now I know that I am responsible for all my crap and it is my choice to feel gratitude or decorate my pity palace for my pity party.

    You are not alone, there are groups in real life as well as on line that can help you if you want to be helped.

    Good luck. I it is kinda tough learning all that stuff about ourselves as well as taking responsibility for our lives (not being a victim, blaming others or obsessing on a situation that will turn us into an emotional wreck) but it is so freaking worth it!
  • dsckrc
    dsckrc Posts: 194 Member
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    try keeping "good" snacks in the house that way when you feel a binge or moment of weakness coming on, your choices aren't so bad. good luck on your journey... by the way, everyone has bad days. i had a couple this week myself. i always feel horrible until i get back on track, but that's just it - i always get back on track and you will too :happy:
  • AVinmill
    AVinmill Posts: 88 Member
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    Give yourself no choice. When you give yourself the choice to eat bad then you will at some point. Make it so it just isn't an option, you get no say in it.
  • VogtAndrea
    VogtAndrea Posts: 236
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    Emotional eaters can overcome but there's a reason that they're an emotional eater. Soothing your hurt, anger, upset at what's happening, pain, and celebrating good things or dealing with boredom by eating are habits that you have to take some time and some very hard work to replace with better habits. Habits don't just disappear, you have to replace them with other habits.
    Once you're addicted (if you're an addictive personality) the addiction will still exist. You have to replace that addiction or habit with another one or several others that will diffuse the things you do to soothe that addiction. Those pathways you've created in your brain will always be like doors open and a well beaten path through them.
    I know. I'm addicted to soothing my emotions and my challenges with food. Those yearnings to put something in my mouth can be overwhelming at times and I'm still struggling to overcome. As part of my battle with this I've read everything under the sun, seen doctors, dietitians, am doing my utmost to avoid surgery whle trying to do better by myself by not putting everything that might taste good and soothe whatever it is that's causing me to yearn for food into my mouth.
  • MaraDiaz
    MaraDiaz Posts: 4,604 Member
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    Give yourself no choice. When you give yourself the choice to eat bad then you will at some point. Make it so it just isn't an option, you get no say in it.

    Soooo much easier said than done! But I find putting it off helps even if you can't make yourself say no. I told myself the other morning when I desperately wanted a chocolate chip frappe that if I was still determined to have it that afternoon I was welcome to it, with a double quarter pounder to go with it. By the time afternoon rolled around I'd had a steak and enough time to talk myself out of it.

    By evening, I was craving again. I told myself I could have it tomorrow if I still wanted it that bad. By morning, the craving had subsided enough to get another steak into my system, with olive oil and butter for some filling fat. By evening, I didn't want the burger and frappe anymore.

    And so it goes. When I'm craving, if I can force myself to eat something fat and protein filled and healthy that I don't want, sometimes I'll stop wanting what I shouldn't eat.
  • AlphamaleBAMF
    AlphamaleBAMF Posts: 373 Member
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    I admit that I am an emotional eater but I want to learn how to control this. Any tips or suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

    Ok this is probably stating the obvious here. But just stop feeling sorry for yourself and don't eat that stuff you want to.
  • NurseCarolyn2014
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    A few things that have worked for me are.....
    1. After I would eat something that I really shouldn't have I feel bad, bloated, awful, unhealthy. If I have a craving I try and imagine how I will feel after I eat whatever it is I am craving, I think about how I will feel and ask myself "do you really want to eat this?" .....usually this works to stop the craving.
    2. I try and exercise first thing in the morning because then for the rest of the day I want to eat healthy so that it doens't "negate" the exercise I have accomplished.
    3. I have been eating "gluten free" and it takes away MOST of the cravings. I have also lost weight which why most of us are here. I do not have a gluten intolerance but because gluten is in almost everything it seems that are bodies are being bombarded. When we eat gluten it turns into sugar in our bodies giving us a burst of energy but after about 30 minutes it drains us (the sugar rush) and our bodies are not satisfied and therefore want to "eat" again.......hence the cravings.

    I am not a doctor nor a researcher I am just telling you what works for me. It's important to try different things for your own body.
    Good luck, I sincerely wish you well :flowerforyou:
  • shellux
    shellux Posts: 164 Member
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    Thanks again all. Went for a walk in the end for about 40 minutes, got home 3 hours later as took a diversion to my sisters who always manages to cheer me up.

    I will make a point of reading this post whenever I need to to motivate me as it worked. I guess that's what its for.