If you don't truly know what you're talking about then stfu!

I am 5'10 and 33 years old. I started my journey at 530 pounds, and currently weigh 269.6 pounds (260 pound loss). I aim for 120+grams of protein a day, 1200 calories, less than 100 grams of carbs, and work out at least 2 hours a day for 6 days a week. I also take vitamins each day, and attempt to drink lots of water. My diary is open, please feel free to peruse it! No, I don't eat clean, and no I don't deprive myself, as that leads to failure. This is a lifetime thing, and I am not going to NOT have chocolate or ice cream for the rest of my life.

Yes, I had bariatric surgery, more specifically the Vertical Sleeve Gastrectomy, on September 26 2011. There are several different types, each with their own pros and cons. However, each require the same things from the person - determination, forethought, counseling, movement, and mindfulness of eating. Yes, every person has a different experience. Yes there are sometimes complications. No, it is not the "easy fix", nor is it unhealthy, "cheating", "unnatural", or for "failures". I am not limited in anything food or liquid wise. The loss is completely of my own doing. I put in the time, and the food choices, plus the effort. It is no different from someone who is losing weight without the benefit of surgery. I was diabetic with extremely high blood pressure prior to surgery. Now my bp is that of a teenager, and I have sugars in the low end of normal. The surgery has helped me to be able to accomplish this. So has MFP. Both are tools to be utilized to their full extent of usefulness. I've found many wonderful supportive folks on this site and I am proud to call them my friends and support them to the full extent of my capability!!

I also want to say there is always an underlying reason for obesity. Before you can be successful and maintain that success you MUST determine and work on that/those reasons. You must also change your coping methods. A lot of us turn to food for comfort. This is not going to allow us to A) be happy. B) be healthy. C) maintain. I use meditation, exercise, journaling, and counseling to work on my issues and stress. It is a long hard road. Especially if, like me, you've been morbidly obese for your entire life. With that lifelong struggle with weight, came with early endured traumatic experiences, plus a childhood full of ridicule, negativity, and all resulted in an adult with tremendously low self-esteem (nonexistant to be more accurate), no sense of self worth, major depression, and a horribly low opinion of myself. The yo-yo dieting - the constant failure - increased that sense of worthlessness. I am currently working on that. It's hard. There are many many reels and tapes of negative talk and comments that run through my head every minute. With only having myself, not having anyone else, to add positive talk to counteract the negative thoughts and beliefs its tremendously difficult to fix those ingrained views and beliefs of myself.

To everyone reading this. Please be aware of how your words, looks, and comments can so very deeply affect someone. They can literally sink them to the depths of despair, increase their negative opinions of themselves or can help lift them up and assist in combating those negative beliefs. To those of you with S.O's who are struggling with these negative beliefs of themselves, your love, encouragement, praise, and actions can greatly help them to fight their internal dialogue. It's also been my experience that a partner that does not do these things for you can also enforce the negative thoughts and beliefs. Please be aware, just because you aren't being negative towards your S.O does not mean you aren't enforcing their own negative feelings about themselves. Especially if you are freely complimentary of others. ***Please, understand this all comes strictly from my own experiences and opinions, but is also drawn from my education and training as a counselor***

Just because a person is struggling with personal issues does not make it strictly their own battle to make or break themselves. Everyone they come into contact with influences their beliefs and those issues. Please, do all you can to help someone feel better about themselves. We are all beautiful, worthy of love and acceptance.

I wish you all luck in your journey. It is NOT easy, regardless of the tools you use. But, we are all capable of achieving our goals and helping others to achieve theirs!!

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Replies

  • Wow! You have lost a LOT! You look GREAT!

    I know enough to know I don't need to be preaching to anybody. I try to stay positive always. Some people take the tough love approach but I have also noticed that doesn't necessarily require negativity or meanness.

    People's kind comments and encouragement do indeed help and thankfully I haven't had any negative experiences myself but I do see people judging one another pretty harshly. When I see a particularly negative thread or someone terrorizing a thread I just steer clear.

    There are many many positive helpful people.... well ... just like you for example :) Why waste your valuable time and energy on the A-holes?

    I agree we should be careful not to hurt one another's feelings if we can avoid it but some people are so miserable themselves, or defensive or whatever that they just can't refrain BUT if those people really get to you instead of responding with negativity or continuing to ingest the abuse just ignore them. Refusing to engage with abusive people is not letting them win it's just not wasting your energy on someone who truly doesn't make one bit of difference in your day to day life.

    I just wish it were that easy outside the internet.
  • oohmercyme
    oohmercyme Posts: 279 Member
    You are amazing Kenda! <3
  • RainHoward
    RainHoward Posts: 1,599 Member
    You tell em.
  • avir8
    avir8 Posts: 671 Member
    What a difference. I doubt anyone here knows what they are talking about, it's all opinions and half truths. Do what works for you and take everything everyone else says with a grain a salt. I like how you said "loss is completely of my own doing. I put in the time, and the food choices, plus the effort. It is no different from someone who is losing weight without the benefit of surgery" as this is how it should be. It's mostly a mental effort, you have to be willing to change, and you just showed how hard work and dedication pays off.