Anyone else have an non-supportive spouse?

Tell him YOU don't feel fine, don't like the way your body feels....ect.....then challange him to join you and getting active and being healthy....make it challanging for him?? My husband is a couch potatoe, who is in the midst of quitting smoking and he eats a large bag of chips every night......I feel your pain when you don't feel supported

Yes, he is very unsupportive. Now, granted, I probably lost a little goodwill when I was crying about gaining 2 pounds that was probably water retention, and yes I did overreact, but I was just working so hard and was so frustrated to see that weight gain. Anyways, after that little incident I try and keep my complaints about my body to myself.

But yes, I do get the eyerolls when I order a grilled chicken sandwich and then take off the bun. Or when I say I can't watch a movie once our daughter goes to bed because I need to workout. Or when I mention any weight lifting or nutrition tidbit I read about.

Husband also says super insensitive things like the time I was 6 months pregnant and everything I put on made me look like a whale and I was so upset about how much weight I had gained, and husband told me to eat less candy. So not helpful.

I just ignore his sighs and eyerolls now. Sometimes I will skip the workout to appease him (we are both pretty busy with work and our baby so don't spend a lot of time together anymore) but then I get kind of sad I am not exercising. We used to go to the gym together but haven't since our baby was born.

I wish all the time he was more supportive, but it's just the way it is.

My husband is a junk food junkie! It makes it very difficult to lose weight. I try to keep his junk separate from the rest of the food, but that proves to be difficult since we don't have a big kitchen or much storage space. He has a very narrow perspective on eating healthy. He believes all healthy food will taste gross. I stopped trying to do a full on overhaul of our usual menu and instead I have been making minor alterations so he is not so overwhelmed by it. It takes a lot more will power on my part that's for sure!

i think my husband wants to be supportive but doesn't know how. i've told him that i want to lead healthier lives and since i do 99% of the cooking i've been trying to add less salt and substitute ingredients with healthier choices. he'll eat whatever i cook, but he'll tell me that something needed more salt, or "why go and change up something that was good". he is also a diabetic so you would think that my meal options would be healthier already, but not so much, the nights that i don't feel like putting in an effor to make dinner ill make hamburger helper and he practically jumps for joy!
he's made a comment more than once about how im not losing weight the right way because i'm eating too few calories. and honestly on a normal weekday, i struggle with eating enough calories and making healthy choices to eat all of those calories, the weekends are the exact opposite and i blame him for it :-)

My husband is supportive, but...He is also a calorie burning machine. He can easily eat 3000-4000 calories a day and not gain weight or feel bloated. My "cheat" meal yesterday was his "on program" meal and that is a little bit discouraging. He is able to eat a breakfast that would send me over my calorie goals for the whole day.

It is really hard to share meals with him because of his ability to indulge in things I cannot. Sometimes I just tell him that we are doing yo-yo (you're on your own) dinner because I can't even eat a half portion of whatever he is having without screwing up my macros for the day. Since he is about 200 pounds and about 15% body fat, he really does need all those calories to get through the day, but I can't help but feel jealous that he is able to eat all those rich and delicious foods that I have to eschew if I want to lose weight.

He does tell me "good job" when I see a weight loss, and for that kind of support I am thankful.

Perhaps you can practice yo-yo dinners with your husband? Since you don't cook, maybe you could fix yourself a big green salad or a plate of fresh cut veggies with a light dressing for flavor. Just take a portion of whatever protein he is preparing for himself. You could also include some kind of canned fish or pre-cooked chicken breast from the grocery store (check the frozen food case for some good low calorie choices.).

Mine is very supportive. The difference it's made in our relationship by losing some weight and getting fitter is astronomical.

Maybe, instead of telling him you want to lose weight.. Tell him you want to get fit and stronger.

As far as food goes, we will eat a lot of the same things, but I'll make something extra for him. If we make chicken, I have chicken and vegetables but will make him some mac n cheese or something to go with it that I don't necessarily want. He can mow down food and actually has trouble GAINING weight so basically when I shop I will make sure I buy him a bunch of snacks separate of what I'm going to have.

I would suggest that you learn to cook. I do all to cooking in our house, my hubby likes my cooking too, and it's all low fat stuff.

My husband told me, 20lbs ago that he likes me the way I was, I gave him "awesome hubby points" for his remark. I am glad that he loves and accepts me at any size, but I do not love and accept me at any size. So I do it for me, and to be an example to my daughters.

I have lost 70lbs over the last year & a half and over the course of getting fitter I have got into cycling, which i enjoy most days. when i get the opportunity i will commute to work, this will get me home approx an hour later than if i drove and I try to get out a few hours on the weekends.
i'm 6ft and now weigh 165lbs, she is 5ft and weighs more than me, she used to be much more slender but is letting herself go & has no interest in getting fit & healthy (and i have not broached the subject with her, her life & all that) We never eat together in the week because we eat totally different foods, probably the only meal we eat together is a Sunday dinner. She hates the cycling, only tonight i got home from work & said i'm going out for an hour, she rolled her eyes. Honestly if i wouldn't have gone on the bike i would have had to sit in front of the TV with her & watch **** instead as per normal. AAAAAAAAAARGGGGGGH

I saw this topic and just felt I had to make a comment After reading these posts etc, it seems like I must be in a minority as my wonderful partner is very supportive of me and helps me a lot. Some might say we are like chalk and cheese as he is thin and I am overweight, but what is most important is that he loves me for me, it's about who I am not what I am. He has been helping me look for low calorie recipes etc that we both like, are easy to cook and are filling. If I am struggling in wanting things that I really shouldn't have then he really helps me there too, in fact he was the one who found this site to help me and it has been a godsend! :happy:

I have struggled with my weight for a long time, but have found out that I have a medical condition that is the cause of my weight but I am also limited as to what exercise I can do due to having problems with my legs. However, none of my medical problems stop me from losing weight. If you want to achieve something then you can achieve it if you have the motivation you need. Yes, of course it is great to have support from loved ones etc, but ultimately it has to come from you.


Not only do I want to lose to weight to help me with my medical problems but my partner and I want a family in the not too distant future and I want to be as healthy as possible when, god willing, we do have a family.

If your partner isn't supporting you then does it matter too much when you are doing it for you? Do your own meals then you know that what you are eating is the healthy option you want. However it doesn't hurt to have "naughty" days every now and again too :laugh:

No-one should ever change who they are for anyone, they should only ever do it for themselves but we should never give up, especially if you have an "end goal". I am just very lucky that I have a wonderful partner who is very supportive.

My husband is very similar to this but I will say that he is getting better. The most important part of ALL of this is that your spouse know that this is a journey for you to be HAPPY. HAPPY. HAPPY. Not a super model, not eating only celery, not a compulsive exerciser. It's not about torturing him or starving him or inconveniencing him. He doesn't have to do the work, you do.

It has taken my husband a few years to finally understand what my goal is, and he has watched my weight go from 120 when I met him to 160 after our first baby, down to 140, back up to 205 after the second one, down to 145 again, back up to 189, and now here I am at 177. It's hard - and he finally recognizes that. It took some tears and a lot of arguing, but he really loves me however I am and your husband probably feels the same way. They don't see the fat, they just see us, the women they love. I think it is hard for them to understand.

Just hang in there. Try not to complain. Try not to force him into changing anything he doesn't want to change. It will get better.