+1.... I spit in your general direction, Diet Gods!

Funny bones!! Your therapist is going to tell you that you are allowed to talk to yourself. This "diet" thing is, after all, a battle between your logical side, your emotional side and maybe even your hungry side - heck there's probably multiple personalities involved that are either scheming to bring you down or working together to help you succeed. Whatever is going on in all our heads I just had to let you know that I loved your post!! Thanks for the humor today - I needed the giggle. This losing weight thing is a hard and frustrating journey for most of us and it's good to be able to laugh at it.

Woke up this morning to see that I am up one pound on the scale. Now, if this were one of the 2,483 other times that I've tried to lose weight, this would be my cue (ooh, that word reminds me of bar-be-cue) to say, "oh what the heck, it's not working, so I might as well just binge away" (SCOTT TO ICE CREAM CONE: "Hellooooooo Gorgeous...."). But that just ain't gonna happen. No sir. No ma'am. Not me. Not this time.

Step One: Review yesterday's food list to find out why this happened. Let's see... Calories? Nope, stayed within allotment. Fiber? Well, I did eat a lot of fruit and veggies and have not yet visited the Reading Room this morning. Sodium? hmmm... let's see... BINGO... lookie there. Started the day yesterday with home made french onion dip made from Fage non-fat yogurt and french onion soup mix. The whole really filling and satisfying recipe only amounted to 250 or so calories (including ribs of romaine lettuce substituting for fritos), but the dip mix had 2,440 mg. of sodium. Why that's supposed to be my entire intake of sodium for the whole day. No wonder I am retaining water. That much sodium should make me as effective at that as the Hoover Damn (pun intended).

Step Two: So what are you gonna do about it Big Boy? And more importantly, why are you talking to yourself in the third person? This is creepy. Stop it. No, you stop it. NO, YOU STOP IT. Anyway, Step Two involves recognizing that this is a marathon that I am on, not a sprint. I can stop getting on the scale every day. Yeah, that's not gonna happen. Ok, so instead, I can recognize that occasional ups in my downs are a normal part of this process. I can do that. Also, I can begin to monitor my sodium intake as well as I have my calorie and fat intake. That's a good idea. Finally, I can increase my intake of water today to flush out (hahahah... you're funny... no, YOU'RE funny... ok, we're BOTH funny) the extra salt. That's what I'll do.

Step Three: Stay on program!

Step Four: Spit in the general direction of the Diet Gods. I refuse to slip on this banana peel (or, perhaps more appropriate, Blooming Onion peel) that you've tossed in front of me to make me screw up. I'm 51 years old, dammit. I'm SUPPOSED to learn from my previous mistakes. So this time I will.

Step Five: Obtain a very good therapist to help with this speaking in the third person thingie.

Ok, it's a plan. I'll do all of that.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have some scrambled egg whites with green peppers, red peppers, onions, cayenne pepper and gran masala to consume. Y'all have a great day. I am going to prepare to continue for the rest of my succesful marathon.

Peace out!