did people treat you better after you lost weight?

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stephy_wefy
stephy_wefy Posts: 2
in Chit-Chat
do you ever resent it?

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  • AlphamaleBAMF
    AlphamaleBAMF Posts: 373
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    Women are certainly treating me better and it freaks me the hell out.

    Before, when I was morbidly obese, they just left me alone. Now they keep coming up and saying hello to me and I get stuck talking to them for 20 minutes and don't have the social skills to end the conversation.

    And they keep eye humping me. Some of them are fantastically good looking and I'd really love to....... umm yeah anyway I don't even know how to get on to that subject with them and I'm scared of trying after being fat all my life and getting rejected and the way women treated me.

    Also my recent divorce has scarred me emotionally and left me with significant amounts of emotional baggage which I don't wish to inflict on them.

    I don't resent it. I just don't know how to deal with it. I think I liked it better when being fat made me invisible.
  • stephy_wefy
    stephy_wefy Posts: 2
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    I get pissed off when overweight men say "I'm not into fat chicks" but if an overweight woman said the same thing people would expect her to lose weight and stop complaining.
  • tonyspumas
    tonyspumas Posts: 31
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    I'm no where near my goal yet, but girls are approaching me and even the ones I approach now don't strait up blow me off. When I was heavier girls just ignore you or give you that yuck look.
  • FlyByJuly
    FlyByJuly Posts: 564 Member
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    Strangers have treated me better.
    Family/friends have treated me the same.
    Aquaintances (sp?)...it's a mixed bag. Some have been snotty to me, some have shunned me. Others have expressed being happy for me.
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,455 Member
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    Mixed bag for me too.

    Strangers are friendlier and I've always been a smiley, bubbly person. They just seem to make more time for that now if that makes sense. Men hold doors for me now. An umbrella once which was sweet.
    I also don't know what to do with the come ons. I blush and want to run away. Some dudes are downright aggressive too. Wow. Never experienced that before.

    My family and friends is about the same. I live away from them so when I go there's usually a difference. They always mention it at first and then we move on. Same ol same ol.
  • _Refried_
    _Refried_ Posts: 194
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    I never received attention before, but now when I walk through the plant where there are a lot of women I see them stare and whistle because they are not shy but it really make me feel like nothing more than a piece of meat........And I love it!!
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    My mom says people treated her worse since she lost weight. But she's quite underweight so she looks very gaunt and fragile. Not the best look.
  • newmein2013
    newmein2013 Posts: 674 Member
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    YES! Strangers are more polite. Guys are calling me sweetie and opening doors for me. Friends and family treat me the same but have a newfound respect for me. Friends look up to me and ask for health & fitness advice. It doesn't bother me at all. I really don't even think about it. I've changed on the inside as much as I have on the outside and I absolutely love the person I'm becoming. This has to be the most important thing that I have ever done for ME.
  • Nteeter
    Nteeter Posts: 190 Member
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    Women are certainly treating me better and it freaks me the hell out.

    Before, when I was morbidly obese, they just left me alone. Now they keep coming up and saying hello to me and I get stuck talking to them for 20 minutes and don't have the social skills to end the conversation.

    And they keep eye humping me. Some of them are fantastically good looking and I'd really love to....... umm yeah anyway I don't even know how to get on to that subject with them and I'm scared of trying after being fat all my life and getting rejected and the way women treated me.

    THIS!! I did a bbq event and there were some absolutely beautiful women there. They would start talking to me and after the initial hello's and easy questions I just clam up. I dont know how to talk to good looking women. I will say though that my confidence is building and not just talking to people but Im more assertive and tell people exactly what I want or what not. So its a learning experience. Do I blame them for not wanting to talk to the former fatty, no not really, but they seem shallow now. Weight like age is just a number its not who we really are. Im finding that I like women who like me were fat and now have lost it all. I know what it takes to do that and that is attractive. As for the guys, no more pillsbury dough boy jokes. They dont pat my stomach and call big guy. I remember those guys, Im skinnier than they are now so part of my 'new' me is to obviously return the favor lol. A lot of my guy friends have seen what Ive accomplished and are now on the health kick so its nice to see I may have motivated them, even if they dont say it.
  • maddiec1989
    maddiec1989 Posts: 144 Member
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    Yeah, definitely. However, I think a lot of it also has to do with my own attitude changing. I am happier, and therefore I am easier to approach because I'm smiling. In general, I've become more pleasant and fun to be around and I'm a lot more positive so I think other people feed off that energy. Having said that, the amount of cat calls I get walking down the street has definitely increased tenfold lol.
  • MJH5773
    MJH5773 Posts: 70
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    I've gotten a lot of compliments from my coworkers which is nice. Haven't noticed much of a difference while out in public. But I don't actually get to go out very much.
  • newmein2013
    newmein2013 Posts: 674 Member
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    Women are certainly treating me better and it freaks me the hell out.

    Before, when I was morbidly obese, they just left me alone. Now they keep coming up and saying hello to me and I get stuck talking to them for 20 minutes and don't have the social skills to end the conversation.

    And they keep eye humping me. Some of them are fantastically good looking and I'd really love to....... umm yeah anyway I don't even know how to get on to that subject with them and I'm scared of trying after being fat all my life and getting rejected and the way women treated me.

    THIS!! I did a bbq event and there were some absolutely beautiful women there. They would start talking to me and after the initial hello's and easy questions I just clam up. I dont know how to talk to good looking women. I will say though that my confidence is building and not just talking to people but Im more assertive and tell people exactly what I want or what not. So its a learning experience. Do I blame them for not wanting to talk to the former fatty, no not really, but they seem shallow now. Weight like age is just a number its not who we really are. Im finding that I like women who like me were fat and now have lost it all. I know what it takes to do that and that is attractive. As for the guys, no more pillsbury dough boy jokes. They dont pat my stomach and call big guy. I remember those guys, Im skinnier than they are now so part of my 'new' me is to obviously return the favor lol. A lot of my guy friends have seen what Ive accomplished and are now on the health kick so its nice to see I may have motivated them, even if they dont say it.

    Just talk to them as you would anyone else. If they are shallow, you'll know soon enough and YOU will decide if you take that conversation any further. One of the most important things I've learned along my weight loss journey is that I've wrongly stereotyped people that are fit. I've learned to respect them for their efforts, hard work and dedication. Some work really hard to be the way they are and for some it comes naturally. And it's not just about the body, it's also the healthy aspect of it. But that doesn't mean they're any different than you or I. Everyone has insecurieties. Don't ever doubt that. Believe in yourself. Be proud of what you've accomplished. And know that you are worthy of true happiness. Just be yourself and you'll be happy. You have to be yourself in a relationship so you may as well do it from the start.
  • gimpy117
    gimpy117 Posts: 75 Member
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    yes, they did and i did resent it a bit

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