i hate myself? how do i change this?

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Replies

  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    And I can't afford to move out whilst at school, otherwise i'd be out of here in a tick, believe me.

    I know it's scary, but sometimes going in debt is better than putting up with a bad home situation. Student loans aren't fun, but most of us have them. You'll get a real job someday and be able to pay them off. I don't know about you, but I'd rather be in a tight financial situation and heal than be where you are.

    Although the odds of anyone getting a "real job" in this economy right out of school is really slim. I graduated back in May 2011 and I'm working at a warehouse, where my degree will never be used. At least the pay is okay. >.<
  • shannonj8489
    shannonj8489 Posts: 32
    You aren't alone.. It's a very rare time when I completely love or even like myself, I think a lot of it does stem from childhood. I wish I knew the answers but unfortunately I don't :(
  • cgale8
    cgale8 Posts: 34 Member
    It is a hard journey but you are worth every bit of energy you put into you. Negativity is a very had thing to overcome. We can be told many positive things but we tend to only hear the negatives.

    Find a therapist or support group that you are comfortable with. A good one will not focus on you problems completely and will help you move forward.

    Loving yourself after what you have experienced is a hard thing to do. You have to practice it and it doesn't feel comfortable because you aren't used to it. Don't give up, just like diet and excercise, you will have ups and downs but keep moving forward and you will begin to feel more comfortable.
  • TM2794
    TM2794 Posts: 51 Member
    I agree with the previous posters. Therapy will help. Try it again. If this person is not a match for you, find someone with whom you can connect and bare your soul. Once you find the right person and start making progress, it will be like a weight lifted from your shoulders. Don't give up. It REALLY works.

    I just don't quite understand how talking to someone about problems can just magically fix them... :S


    it's not magic. therapist give you tools to work with. i've struggled with depression since i was 13 years old. for years therapy didn't work for me because i was FIGHTING it. i always had an excuse for everything. one day i was hospitalized and realized only i can help myself. my dr's always told me "therapy is 1/3rd, meds are 1/3rd, and what i do for myself is 1/3rd." (not saying you need medication, btw) You can't just expect things to get better, YOU have to make changes. whether it be get a hobby, try something new, say yes to things! hang out, it's good to be able to relate to people, but you should also surround yourself with POSITIVE, motivated people.
    believe me, i know how hard it is. but it's really up to you. until you take charge of your life, you're going to remain stagnate. so start with baby steps, just get yourself out of the rut before you do something drastic like myself or other's have.

    oh, and i went through quite a few counselors before i found one i was willing to open up to. trust me, nobody meets a stranger and wants to just spill their guts. you're not the only one who struggles, so keep that in mind and just try. i guarantee every little change you make will make a huge impact on your life.
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
    And I can't afford to move out whilst at school, otherwise i'd be out of here in a tick, believe me.

    I know it's scary, but sometimes going in debt is better than putting up with a bad home situation. Student loans aren't fun, but most of us have them. You'll get a real job someday and be able to pay them off. I don't know about you, but I'd rather be in a tight financial situation and heal than be where you are.

    Where I live, you need to be earning a certain amount of money for a loan. I already have a car loan, where most of my money is going.
  • vbrent07
    vbrent07 Posts: 115
    I can relate and it actually has taken me almost my 30 years to love myself for who I am. I was bullied a lot through out all my school years and was pretty affected by it. It has given me a thicker shell though and I can deal with a lot more than I use too! It seems like you are doing what you want to in life, you should be proud of yourself for what you have accomplished. Most people do not end up with the job of their dreams and good for you for taking classes! I think if you can't work through this on your own, go see someone. Maybe they will work you through this.
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
    I can relate and it actually has taken me almost my 30 years to love myself for who I am. I was bullied a lot through out all my school years and was pretty affected by it. It has given me a thicker shell though and I can deal with a lot more than I use too! It seems like you are doing what you want to in life, you should be proud of yourself for what you have accomplished. Most people do not end up with the job of their dreams and good for you for taking classes! I think if you can't work through this on your own, go see someone. Maybe they will work you through this.

    The thicker shell is always a good thing :)
  • jcriscuolo
    jcriscuolo Posts: 319 Member
    OK Beauty - you have had some great heart-felt advice here. What is your plan based on what you have read here? What did you see here that you think might help you and what action do you plan to take? It would be a waste if you get this good advice then do nothing. Make a plan and execute it.

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