My 10yo Daughter is Obese

My Daughter is ten years old 4' 10 and weighs 117. she is considered obese by the BMI calculator for children I found online. I have set up a MFP profile for her but had to fudge the numbers because it only allows for someone born in 1994 or older. It says she should eat 1200 cals per day. My question is simple. Is this right? I have been reading today that with kids it is not about weight loss as much as maintaining a healthy lifestyle and letting the height catch up to her weight. I want her to learn the good habits now while she is young. I also don't want her feel like we are saying "you are fat" or feel like she is being punished. She has been walking with my wife and shows horses competitively at a pretty high level. We are trying to handle this in a positive manner because the last thing she needs is to develop a negative body image at a young age.
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Replies

  • skylark94
    skylark94 Posts: 2,036 Member
    This is a question you should be asking her pediatrician.
  • Sabresgal63
    Sabresgal63 Posts: 641 Member
    Just get her to make some good choices for food (which means you have to keep the junk out of the house) and I bet by the time she is 13, she will have sprouted up and will have thinned right out. My neice and nephew both were very short at age 10 and had "squishy" stomachs. They both have sprouted up and are within the healthy range of weight. Good luck!
  • TheRealParisLove
    TheRealParisLove Posts: 1,907 Member
    MFP isn't going to be correct for children, unfortunately. I saw a trick to get kids to eat healthy snacks the other day where you use a white ice cube tray and fill the cups with colorful healthy snacks like fresh berries, carrots, whole grain crackers ect. The white color of the tray makes the whole thing look very beautiful and kids have fun picking and choosing what they like. It also makes small portions of food seem bigger due to the size of the tray.
  • dhakiyya
    dhakiyya Posts: 481 Member
    MFP is set for *adults* (under 18s not allowed) because children are still growing and it's totally not safe for kids to be following diet plans intended for adults. Children need extra calories to grow that adults do not need, and a diet that's too restrictive can stunt their growth. Do you know how many calories is too restrictive for a 10 yr old who weighs the same as your daughter? I sure don't and I have a degree in human sciences. And that's before you even get on to all the possible psychological damage you can do to children by putting them on diets.

    If you're concerned, take her to see a paediatric dietician, who can tell you how many calories she should have to lose fat the safe way for her. As far I know, children should not lose weight, but should "grow into" their current weight, i.e. as they get taller they slim out while their weight stays the same or only goes up a little. A paediatric dietician will be able to advise you how much and what foods she should be eating and what her goals should be in terms of weight etc, and also how to do all of this sensitively to avoid causing your daughter to have psychological issues surrounding food.
  • samcorvus
    samcorvus Posts: 112 Member
    MFP will not let you have a daily calorie count of less than 1,200. You'd be better advised using a TDEE or BMR calculator to find out her needs.
  • NataBost
    NataBost Posts: 418 Member
    What has her pediatrician said? That is my first question because she's not fully physically developed as yet. Also, as an aside, I work with BMI charts every once and a while through my employer. A t4'10" and at 10 years of age, the chart I have access to for children 6-15 YOA states that a range of 68-143lbs is "preferred". But as several people have said, Pediatrician first!!!!
  • NataBost
    NataBost Posts: 418 Member
    This is a question you should be asking her pediatrician.

    Thank you. Everyone else replied while I was writing. :smile:
  • CarleyLovesPets
    CarleyLovesPets Posts: 410 Member
    I wouldn't mess around with your kids health.
    I'd take her to a pediatric doctor and see what they say.
  • ritasice21
    ritasice21 Posts: 200 Member
    MFP is not a good choice for presets. My 11 year old is a healthy weight, 58th weight percentile, and is recommended between 1600 and 1900 depending on season and activity level. I think that is pretty basic for this age girls, but a quick call to her pediatriction to check would be best.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    I don't want to be rude, but I think this inappropriate. MFP has age rules for a reason. The calculations for a growing child will be different. Also, as someone who has had an eating disorder at a young age, I think 10 years old is way too young to be encouraging calorie counting. Your daughter just isn't emotional, physically or intellectually capable of understanding all of this in a healthy way at that age.

    Why don't you take her to her pediatrician or a nutritionist and find a diet plan that is designed for a 10 year old girl. Then implement it for her, while educating her about health. You are the parents, so you can control the food in the home.
  • daisiemae123
    daisiemae123 Posts: 277 Member
    You really should bring up your concerns with her pediatrician. My nephew is in the same boat and my sister got his doctor to refer them to a nutritionist who referred them to a gastroenterologist. Turns out there is a very real medical problem contributing to the weight and not just poor food choices and large portions like my sister thought.
  • Cindym82
    Cindym82 Posts: 1,245 Member
    What has her pediatrician said? That is my first question because she's not fully physically developed as yet. Also, as an aside, I work with BMI charts every once and a while through my employer. A t4'10" and at 10 years of age, the chart I have access to for children 6-15 YOA states that a range of 68-143lbs is "preferred". But as several people have said, Pediatrician first!!!!

    117 is not obese for someone who is 4'10.......I think you need to speak to her doctor before you damage your daughter. And 1200 is insane for a child....
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    You should talk to her pediatrician. And be the role model she needs about healthy eating and eating in moderation. Get her (and the rest of the family) up and moving - instead of a family movie night, head to the park to play basketball. Rather than go out for pizza, pack a picnic and go hiking. Small changes to your lifestyle will add up to big benefits for your family.

    MFP isn't a good fit for kids. 10 is still pretty young, but maybe sparkteens.com is a better fit (not sure what their guidelines for age are).

    Most articles I have read about childhood obesity say not to worry so much about losing weight, but more about maintaining the current weight until their height catches up with their weight. So the focus is on being healthy rather than dieting.

    Good luck to you & your family!
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
    1) As others have said, ask your pediatrician.
    2) I would recommend thinking long and hard about how to approach this.


    Perhaps you can encourage her to be active and take a look at how you are influencing her eating habits and do this without making any mention of her obesity.
  • hoppinglark
    hoppinglark Posts: 213 Member
    I would recommend talking to her pediatrician. They may want to put her on vitamin / mineral supplement because she is so young. I'm a student pharmacist and what you're describing is common.
  • AmyP619
    AmyP619 Posts: 1,137 Member
    MFP isn't going to be correct for children, unfortunately. I saw a trick to get kids to eat healthy snacks the other day where you use a white ice cube tray and fill the cups with colorful healthy snacks like fresh berries, carrots, whole grain crackers ect. The white color of the tray makes the whole thing look very beautiful and kids have fun picking and choosing what they like. It also makes small portions of food seem bigger due to the size of the tray.

    What a CUTE idea!! Love this!
  • wlkumpf
    wlkumpf Posts: 241 Member
    that seems to be a healthy weight, i do daycare and see lots of girls i this age. Pretty normal.

    Instead of worrying so much about calorie intake, I would focus on helping her pick the right foods, also preparing them in a healthy way with less sodium and exposing her to new foods so she realizes healthy can taste as good or better than chicken nuggets, fatty hamburger (love hamburger, but grilled and lean), whole grains, low sugar sauces etc.....

    Show her how to substitute light sour cream or light cheeses and use them as a condiment, not a huge amount. Show her how to cut sugar by 1/4 to lighten up recipes. How to pass on the treats, and not have them after every meal. How to eat to fuel the body and have it be a splurge or a fun thing to go out, rarely!

    HAve her do activities with you, family vacations based on fun active hiking or swimming. Plan your weekends around a kids triatholon (my sisters nieces were just in one) find a fit club that has a kids day. Invest in bikes for the two of you and have that be a goal, to have a weekend long bike adventure. Get out and do things together, even bowling! Don't have it be a movie and unhealthy snacks, or renting a movie or low activity things, get out kayaking or canoeing! It can be a great experience together :)
  • BeckySue1977
    BeckySue1977 Posts: 91 Member
    One of the biggest fights my ex husband and I had was the day he told our 7 year old daughter that she was getting fat.
    I grew up with my parents constantly reminding me about my weight, from as young as I can remember. I grew up being overweight and very self conscious despite being active in dance classes 4-5 days every week.

    I'm struggling now with my own weight and in trying to teach my kids about healthy choices. My 8 year old daughter is a little heavy for her height and I've noticed a pattern with her eating because she wants the food, not because she is hungry. I remember feeling as a kid that if I didn't have the food then I was missing out on something good. I don't know how this will turn out in the long run, but my focus with my kids is on making decisions that will help their body work best. We talk about what kinds of things our bodies need in order for everything to function well. When they come home after a weekend at their dad's house and tell me they don't feel good it gives an oportunity to discuss their bodys' reactions to eating junk food all weekend (their bodys' don't like the junk and the "not feeling good" is how the body tells us that).
    Another thing I do with my daughter is to portion her food appropriately for her age and size, then when she asks for seconds I tell her we need to wait a bit to see if her body is really still hungry. Most times she gets distracted with other things and forgets about wanting seconds. At bed time I remind her that she asked for seconds, but when she got distracted with other activities and forgot about eating it was a way to see that she really wasn't hungry and needs to listen to her body.

    I really hate seeing young girls with body image issues, it is so unfair that we do that to them so young. Try hard to focus on being healthy and not on how she looks or what clothes she can or cannot wear. When clothes shopping I never tell my daughter that something makes her look fat, I tell her it isn't a good look for her and find something else she likes just as much that works on her body. We all have different body types and the same style doesn't work for all of us.

    Most important thing for your daughter is to see her parents setting a healthy example.

    Good luck! This is a tough situation but with love you will all get through it!
  • LoraF83
    LoraF83 Posts: 15,694 Member
    What has her pediatrician said? That is my first question because she's not fully physically developed as yet. Also, as an aside, I work with BMI charts every once and a while through my employer. A t4'10" and at 10 years of age, the chart I have access to for children 6-15 YOA states that a range of 68-143lbs is "preferred". But as several people have said, Pediatrician first!!!!

    117 is not obese for someone who is 4'10.......I think you need to speak to her doctor before you damage your daughter. And 1200 is insane for a child....

    Actually, according to the CDC, 117 is considered obsese for a 4'10" child:

    http://apps.nccd.cdc.gov/dnpabmi/Result.aspx?&dob=4/8/2002&dom=8/21/2012&age=124&ht=58&wt=117&gender=2&method=0&inchtext=0&wttext=0

    Why do you feel 1200 is insane for a child? Are you saying it's too high or too low?
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    She might be about to have a hella growth spurt

    Buy and cook better food to feed her, be more active together. Ride bikes, play soccer, etc.

    Other than that, talk to her doc and see what he says. Please don't give her a complex, it's hard enough being a woman.
  • trackercasey76
    trackercasey76 Posts: 781 Member
    Thanks for all the replies, I will make a DR apt soon here is a pic of her on her Pony just a few weeks ago. As you can see it is not like she is huge or anything but I just want to do what is right fir her now while I still can so she does not end up like me (I was over 400) or her aunt that is 400 plus

    4h-trail-horse3.jpg
  • PANZERIA
    PANZERIA Posts: 471 Member
    .
  • Krizzle4Rizzle
    Krizzle4Rizzle Posts: 2,704 Member
    She might be about to have a hella growth spurt

    Buy and cook better food to feed her, be more active together. Ride bikes, play soccer, etc.

    Other than that, talk to her doc and see what he says. Please don't give her a complex, it's hard enough being a woman.

    :flowerforyou:

    LISTEN TO THIS WOMAN!!
  • wlkumpf
    wlkumpf Posts: 241 Member
    for my daycare too, snacks are a fat free yogurt or cottage cheese. Whole grain crackers (limited number of them). Fresh fruits and vegies (with lite ranch). Skim milk. low calorie cereals. I only cook home made foods, no prepackaged for my daycare kids as well as my own.
    Their favorites right now are asparagus and salmon. They all love it when I make any fish or grilled chicken. I also buy turkey sausages with cheese (110 calories) and serve on 80 calorie buns. They didn't complain. Those who don't like the "brats" could have a hotdog, I bought the 40 calorie oscar meyer and not one complaint. I make these for 6-10 kids and 2 adults. Not everyday do I spend that much, but if I am going to eat healthy I want the kids I care about to as well :)
  • marathon64
    marathon64 Posts: 378 Member
    I think it's super sad that kids (maybe not yours) spend so so much time on social networks and there is not a wonderful tool like MFP to help them with fitness and health. Instead they are doing a lot of social networking that focuses on very superficial stuff. I say limit your daughters access to TV and electronics, get the junk out of the house and prepare yummy healthy meals together. And yes I agree get info from your pediatrician about appropriate caloric intake. In the end it's very hard to force food choices on your kid when they are out of the house but when in your home make the best choices possible and good luck I feel for you a ton :heart:
  • sassylilmama
    sassylilmama Posts: 1,493 Member
    She looks perfectly fine to me.
  • weird_me2
    weird_me2 Posts: 716 Member
    I agree with the others to talk to her pediatrician and also to just focus on making healthy choices instead of cutting calories or eliminating stuff. Also, focus on the family getting more activity and helping her be strong and fit, not skinny.

    If you are set on setting up a plan for your daughter, check out myplate.gov. It's got some fun things set up geared towards kids and making healthy choices and can also give you the recommended guidelines/serving sizes for children.
  • Kelley528
    Kelley528 Posts: 319 Member
    At 10 yrs old I doubt she is responsible for her meals. As her parents you need to take control. Make it a family activity. Change the way the whole family eats. You dont necessarily need to put her on a diet but change the types of food/ quality of food she eats.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    Forget the MFP account. She does not need to be counting calories at all. Her body needs those calories for that growth spurt that she has coming. You might monitor her eating habits a little better. Keep junk out of the pantry. Make certain that she doesn't over-snack (my daughter does this). Don't allow her to have sodas, and find some extra activities for her to do. You could introduce her to weights. I've done that with my oldest who is a healthy weight, but still feels as if she is fat. I've explained that her weight is fine, but she has to change her body fat percentage. I also bought one of those big exercise balls and my kids will play on that all night. It's not a structured routine, but using the ball does work the ab muscles a lot.
  • JenRLo
    JenRLo Posts: 95 Member
    You and I are in the same boat. The government has developed a website that is similar to MFP, but geared toward kids:

    https://www.choosemyplate.gov/SuperTracker/default.aspx

    It shows the importance of healthy habits and activities geared towards children. One of my favorite activities they can log is "playing with friends." The site stresses nutrition and activity over obtaining a calorie goal. There is a lot of good information on it.

    Unfortunately, I cannot get my daughter interested in it. smh

    Good luck to you.
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