My 10yo Daughter is Obese

I would let her pediatrician tell you how to proceed but please get this taken care of at this young age. The longer she has bad eating habits the harder it will be to correct and she can live a better life as a healthy child.

Please do not introduce calorie counting to your daughter, it will cause a lifetime of anxiety over eating that no one deserves.

Sign her up to dance classes or netball classes, something active which she will have fun at? and make healthy eating fun. x

I have a 4'10" 11 year old boy. He weighed in at 71 pounds yesterday at his 11 year old check up. He was 17th percentile for weight. He is a preemie has has always been underweight. Our pediatrican told us to leave him alone and let him eat what he wants. Believe it or not, the pediatrican is worried about eating disorders if we "force" him to eat more. That being said, the pediatrican told us that as parents, we should model good behavior in both eating and exercising.

Keep healthy food in your house, ditch the bad stuff: chips, cookies, soda, model good behavior, go out walking and biking with your daughter, maybe do some healthy cooking with your daughter. Why don't you sign up for a charity 5k walk/run? Do it as a family!!!

Of course, talk to your pediatrician. I wouldn't try to force her to do anything...that starts eating disorders. Good luck.

I highly recommend checking out "Disease Proof Your Child" by Dr. Fuhrman and get the whole family on board with a new way of living. Below is a website with some info.

http://www.drfuhrman.com/children/default.aspx

Once upon a time I was an obese child. Many people recommend talking to your doctor. Having been put on a restrictive low calorie diet and placed on diet pills by a doctor and having that prescribed treatment cause my heart to race all day long and create an anxiety disorder I would strongly recommend you consult your own common sense instead. Don't listen to any medical professional that tells you to put your daughter on a diet or on medication. I started out slightly overweight and easily would have grown into that weight if I had been left alone. At the age of 12 I grew 6 inches and at 13 an additional 6 inches. However, I was constantly being put on diets starting at the age of nine and with every round of failed dieting I gained more and more weight. At 14 I was 100 pounds overweight! So I have very strong feelings on this subject and a strong belief that if my interest in swimming, bicycling, dancing and horseback riding had been developed and encouraged instead of creating an obsession with what I ate my whole life story would be different. I would recommend that your family as a whole practice healthy whole food eating and that your daughter take part in that as a member of your family. NOT because she is overweight but because your family just eats that way. Don't single her out! But more important than that even is support and encourage her love of movement and exercise - any form that she is interested in and can learn to love. That love will transcend the weight problem.

Just focus on health (fruit instead of cookies, 1 sandwich instead of 2...the small burger that is meant for children rather than the grown-up meal, etc) and revisit it when she's a little older if the need is still there I have always wondered if obese people have obese children because of nature or nurture? I think if you and your wife are being more healthy (walking, etc) then include her in that life and all will work out. Kudos to you for being proactive!!!!!!

In my opinion, I think calorie counting might not be the best idea for kids. BUT, I did work in a nutrition program with kids and some of the best messages were the easiest to remember:

Real food comes from the earth, not from factories.

Also, instead of calorie counting, we rated food by a stop light. Green was for healthy foods to eat at every meal, ie. veggies. Yellow was for sometimes foods. ie. peanut butter sandwich. Red, most importantly WAS NOT off limits, but it was for red for moderation/special occasions. ie. a piece birthday cake is okay to have at a friend's birthday, but not every day. Using green/yellow/red foods in addition to the myplate website someone else suggested is a really nice way for kids to have an input on choosing healthy meals while minding the fact what you do/tell them/show them about food while shape the way they relate to food for the rest of their lives.

Please address this carefully with your child. You are walking on thin ice here honestly. I was that exact same height and around that weight at that age. Instead of my parents making healthier decisions together my mom would just call me a "chunky monkey" (which was meant to be sweet) and other things like that which hurt my self esteem. Between that and seeing her unhealthy addiction to food and the scale I at first dieted from age 12-13 and didn't lose much weight (10 pounds) but had grown into my weight to 5 foot 5 inches. But now that wasn't good enough. I developed an eating disorder limiting myself to 1200 calories a day at age 15 and went down to 100 pounds at 5 foot 6 inches.( I became obsessed with counting calories, a child should never count calories honestly) I got amenorrhea (periods stopped) for over a year and it took a lot to recover from that. Mind you know this was a 1200 calorie diet.

TBH your daughter is not THAT overweight, not to say she isn't, but she will likely grow into her weight. You want to be mindful of her health both physically AND mentally/emotionally so please, please tread on thin ice here.

I would suggest developing a healthy eating plan for the whole family if it isn't in place. Cut sodas out, add more fresh fruits and vegetables, make sure that child gets enough water.

I wish you the best of luck and her too.

I don't know how many of you have girls in the 10 to 11 age range - but kids talk about calories, carbs, and the fat content of food. I can tell you that because *I* don't talk about it at home yet my 11 year old is acutely aware of these issues. I can only imagine other girls hear about it from their moms and talk about it at school. All my daughter knows is that fat and carbs are bad. However, she doesn't know what foods have fat and which don't; which foods have carbs and which don't. One day, she was complaining about too much fat and chose mac'n'cheese for lunch! She had no clue. So since kids are so attuned to these issues at such an early stage, I don't think it hurts to share a tool like this with them so they can actually see what they are eating and whether it does have high fat or high carbs.

Your child hardly looks obese. The best thing you can do for your child outside of talking to her doctor is to walk the walk. You're here getting your habits together? That is the biggest thing. Showing your kids how to eat healthy foods that are delicious while being active.

This whole thread feels inappropriate. But, perhaps I'm projecting my childhood experiences onto you. Either way...

Why is a father worried about his daughter's health and weight inappropriate? I've seen countless mothers post similar threads and everyone on here just rushes to help them and offer advice. Yet this father does the same and people want to criticize or get on his case? :grumble:

I don't think he once said his daughter was fat. He said that her BMI put her in an unhealthy category and he wanted her to learn better choices. What is the problem with that?????

I agree with this too. I think it's great for a Dad to show concern for his daughter's health.

This is a very sensitive subject for me, so I will try not to be snarky. I hope you have been telling your daughter that she is beautiful exactly as she is. I hope that as a family you will engage in more physical activity and eat healthier foods. I hope you have never, never, NEVER told her she is obese.

The worst thing you could do is put her on a diet. Actions speak so much louder than words. My mother put me on a diet when I was seven, and by the time I was 19 I was a raging bulimic with full blown body image disorder. I am 40 and still dealing with it (obviously).

That having been written, I am glad that you are asking for help. Show her love, compassion, kindness and grace. Teach her to love and respect her body by showing her through your example how to eat well and stay active. Tell her she is beautiful every day. And, most importantly, do NOT PUT HER ON A DIET.

Hope this helps. Best of luck. :flowerforyou:

The picture of the child in question is more centered on another girl. Off center is a girl on a pony; that is the child he is referring to.

I think u r being a loving, pro-active parent by showing concern. I hav never been in that situation with my boys but i do agree with checkin with her peds dr. Shes a beautiful lil sweetie.. Keep luving her and telling her shes beautiful..

I don't want to scare you but if she is 11 and already "obsessed" with food you might want to look deeper into what is going on. I started counting calories and watching what I ate at 10 years old by 16 years old I had been in and out of treatment for anorexia. I would honestly start really looking closely at her eating habits because it sounds like an ED in the making.

I just set up an account for my daughter (11 year old). She is not overweight but obsessed with food. I want to help her see that she is not eating a lot of calories. It also set her up at 1200 calories. A couple weeks back, I looked on line and you can find sites that help determine the calories needs for children (and it is higher than 1200 calories). I plan to do that for her then trick the program into setting her daily her daily goals at that number.

Note for Myfitnesspal - consider enabling children to establish accounts with their parents' permission and oversight and calculate child-appropriate numbers.

YOU MUST CONSULT YOUR DAUGHTER'S PEDIATRICIAN. DO NOT JOIN THIS WEBSITE FOR HER. Join this website for yourself if you want. My daughter only lost weight when I made different choices for myself and my WHOLE FAMILY. Here are some helpful, healthy, normal changes that I made for everyone in my family.......do not have any junk food in the house. period. I got rid of ice cream, chips, and cookies and replaced them with pudding, yogurt, special K bars, nutrigrain bars, granola bars. and especially fruit. I also make smoothies for her with nonfat Greek yogurt, milk, stevia, and frozen strawberries. I also make "banana ice cream" with blended frozen bananas. Only one "junky" snack a day, veggies with every lunch and dinner, and smaller portions at meals.NO JUICE EVER. Only water and milk and occassioanlly Stevia sweetened, no calorie bevereages. Still hungry after a meal? Have fruit. Hungry an hour before bed? Drink a large glass of water. I also make sure she plays sports, takes bike rides with me, and we go for walks together. If you make these changes, I promise you she will be at a good BMI in no time. My daughter lost two pounds and grew 4 inches since I instituted these changes. DO NOT TALK ABOUT DIETS, HER WEIGHT, WEGHT LOSS, ETC. I talk about being healthy and making good choices FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY and we all do this together..Good luck.