S/O eats junk & doesn't work out...

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runs_in_heels
runs_in_heels Posts: 97 Member
in Motivation and Support
Question-
How do you all deal with a significant other who doesn't work out and eats not so healthy?
I try to suggest going for a walk instead of sitting on the couch eating cookies, but it's hard. He doesn't "need" to work-out but I do.

How do I motivate him, which in turn, motivates me?

Any tips?
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Replies

  • lilylover2012
    lilylover2012 Posts: 39 Member
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    I've always been a little jealous of my husband because he NEVER works out and can sit there and eat things like an entire can of Pringles, go through a 12 pack of sodas in three days, eat a carton of ice cream in two, and never gains a pound! He's about 120 pounds and has been for his entire life.

    I'm really not sure how to motivate your s/o. I'm sorry, I know that's no help but the thing is that you need to focus on motivating YOU. At first I would be irritated or angry that he would sit there snacking in front of me but then I started buying my own snacks to have while he was having his junk and now it's not a big deal for me. If I want to work out, I do. It used to bother me that he would never do it with me but now I actually do it while he's at work or out with friends or even in the shower and that's MY thing, part of my alone time.

    You really have to find what works best for you and not worry so much about him. Maybe when he sees you doing what you need to do, he will get up and join you. If not, you can't let that stop you.
  • runs_in_heels
    runs_in_heels Posts: 97 Member
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    thanks!
  • Onaughmae
    Onaughmae Posts: 873 Member
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    I just try to be a good example. If it motivates him, great....if not, well...thats his issue to deal with . Would I like for him to work out with me and eat some of the same things I do? Sure...of course I would. But, I also try to go places with him to eat that he wants to go and still make the best choices for me. I can't force him to eat better or exercise, just the same as I would not want him to force me to do it. Do what you need to do for you and let him find his own way. Hopefully he will be inspired by you on his own and join you :)
  • jennmodugno
    jennmodugno Posts: 363 Member
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    My husband is a stick. He's always been a stick, and he'll always be a stick. I've gotten used to that. What kills me is when he fills the house with junk food. :P But I got lucky! We were discussing my depression the other day, and he asked what I thought were my triggers. I told him stress, hormones, and my body weight. I went on to (finally) tell him I'm trying to watch what I eat and exercise and I'm using this site. He amazed me by asking what he could do to help me. No "you don't need to lose weight." No "whatever makes you happy." He asked what he could do to help me reach a point where I feel pretty again! So we had a long talk, and in the end I asked him to stop bringing sweet foods in the house that tempt me so much, but he could bring in chips and coke (which I can easily avoid.)

    This is why I love my husband so much - he's always willing to do whatever he can to help me be who I want and need to be. :) He offered to start running with me... but he's an Army guy, and I'm nowhere near able to keep up with him, lol. I told him I'd stick to my stationary bike and karate. ;)

    So my advice? Talk to him. Tell him how you feel, and ask him to limit his junk food to things you know you can resist. If you need a workout buddy, ask him to come with you, or maybe find a female friend.
  • hiker359
    hiker359 Posts: 577 Member
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    If it's just a S/O and this is a big enough deal to you that you're asking about it on a public message board, perhaps you should consider a replacement: one that shares your interest in eating well and staying physically active.
  • gshoemaker06
    gshoemaker06 Posts: 264 Member
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    Lol, I like how this is the 2nd thread in a short time about this.

    The first person got flamed up to no end... lots of hate.

    This one is filled with advice and meaning. Oh the internet, how you weave your cruel web of fate.
  • holly3585
    holly3585 Posts: 282 Member
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    You offer for him to walk, he turns you down, so GO YOURSELF!! LOL if kids are involved, sometimes it is better if he isn't interested in moving- that YOU time :happy:
  • PinkEnvyx
    PinkEnvyx Posts: 172
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    8 years together and has not wored out one single day, eats a snack pack every night before bed, and is the skinniest person I know. It is frustrating, he never understands why i cook seperatly for us sometimes and refuses to eat everything I will. I just brush it off now and move on doing it without him. You get use to it lol
  • DanaDark
    DanaDark Posts: 2,187 Member
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    Stop putting out.
  • LatinaGordita
    LatinaGordita Posts: 377 Member
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    I just try to be a good example. If it motivates him, great....if not, well...thats his issue to deal with . Would I like for him to work out with me and eat some of the same things I do? Sure...of course I would. But, I also try to go places with him to eat that he wants to go and still make the best choices for me. I can't force him to eat better or exercise, just the same as I would not want him to force me to do it. Do what you need to do for you and let him find his own way. Hopefully he will be inspired by you on his own and join you :)

    This is great advice!
  • IamBlackMamba
    IamBlackMamba Posts: 229
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    Mine doesn't either so if I am cooking he eats what I put in front of him (healthy meals). When we go out to eat I make sure it's not somewhere he can just have a cheeseburger. I get him active on the weekends doing fun things that he doesn't realize are good for him and the biggest change is no soda. Water water water at my place, which is where he is most of the time. He's lost 8lbs in the last month.

    Sometimes you just have to start small.
  • DoomCakes
    DoomCakes Posts: 806 Member
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    I feel ya. My significant other does the same. But he is gaining weight. I think he sees that now though and that's what's making him want to work out with me. But before that he said he didn't "need" to. Just be a good example, keep suggesting active things to do together. Maybe suggest go out canoeing, or rafting, or that you want to go to the beach, play tennis, something. Maybe it's the idea of "working out" he doesn't like. So come up with fun, motivating, active things you can do together!
  • hmanley66
    hmanley66 Posts: 57
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    This was hard at first. My boyfriend eats and lives like a bachelor. Up until last week, he really didn't work out. We would take walks, and we recently picked up disc golf, but no gym, no running, etc.

    I found that this actually really helped to build my will power. I got used to being around junk food and not eating it. I also felt like he did start to lose weight when I started to lose weight, maybe a jealousy thing ;) who knows?! Anyway, look on the bright side of these things!
  • ambrosdm
    ambrosdm Posts: 21 Member
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    My S/O is the same -- he doesn't like to work out (or most exercise in general). As others have said, you've got to work out for yourself with or without him :wink: But you can do some things to help him as well as yourself. For example, I do most of the grocery shopping so buy *mostly* healthy snacks. If he wants to eat that brick of cheese or half pound of fatty salami, then he has to go get it himself. Also, I do try to find activities that he might like and do those together. We've gotten into hiking together lately, and even though we don't go as often as I'd like, he will actually suggest going now. Maybe you can find an activity that you both enjoy or can try together to get him off the couch (and away from the chips)!
  • jnj1013
    jnj1013 Posts: 27
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    Answer: You don't.

    Your choices are yours and his are his, people in relationships don't always have to do everything together. And if he sees that it's important to you he might choose to support you with remarks about how great you look or what great progress you are making but he isn't required to do what you are doing just because he's in a relationship with you.

    My boyfriend is also one of the genetically gifted. He's tall, lean and eats like a rhino and never puts on a pound. If I look at a doughnut I gain a half a pound. There's always junk in our house because he can eat it, I can't so I just don't. He has never once worked out with me but he tells me I look great, that I'm beautiful and comes by when I'm doing exercises and tells me how impressed he is that I'm still going strong. It's enough to just be supportive...be glad you don't have one of those SO's who gives you crap all the time because he thinks you'll get skinny and then cheat/leave.
  • ellehcimyelhsa
    ellehcimyelhsa Posts: 110
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    I've been trying to get my husband to eat healthier meals and exercise a little bit too. He's a stick even though he eats junk food and doesn't work out. I've tried to explain to him the benefits that aren't weight related. It will help his back after sitting in a car most of the day (he's a police officer and mostly does traffic in his little village), it will help him decompress after work, etc. It has been slowly (VERY VERY slowly) helping to motivate him. I stopped making separate meals for him. I do try to incorporate things he likes and keep extra stuff on hand for me. If he wants pizza, I make myself salmon since he doesn't eat that.
  • redraidergirl2009
    redraidergirl2009 Posts: 2,560 Member
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    Maybe suggest it as a way you two can spend time together? My boyfriend and I eat out a lot but I suggested we do something other than eat so sometimes we work out together or go for a walk.
  • Abells
    Abells Posts: 756 Member
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    Question-
    How do you all deal with a significant other who doesn't work out and eats not so healthy?
    I try to suggest going for a walk instead of sitting on the couch eating cookies, but it's hard. He doesn't "need" to work-out but I do.

    How do I motivate him, which in turn, motivates me?

    Any tips?

    YOu don't wanna do it for yourself. Look at it as your own "me time" -- and that's his time or find a close friend to catch up with on a walk.

    If you really want him to go with you then approach it a different way and not as "working out" but as time to talk to each other and see how your days and work or what not have been going
  • NikkiSmo
    NikkiSmo Posts: 180 Member
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    My husband is a stick. He's always been a stick, and he'll always be a stick. I've gotten used to that. What kills me is when he fills the house with junk food. :P But I got lucky! We were discussing my depression the other day, and he asked what I thought were my triggers. I told him stress, hormones, and my body weight. I went on to (finally) tell him I'm trying to watch what I eat and exercise and I'm using this site. He amazed me by asking what he could do to help me. No "you don't need to lose weight." No "whatever makes you happy." He asked what he could do to help me reach a point where I feel pretty again! So we had a long talk, and in the end I asked him to stop bringing sweet foods in the house that tempt me so much, but he could bring in chips and coke (which I can easily avoid.)

    This is why I love my husband so much - he's always willing to do whatever he can to help me be who I want and need to be. :) He offered to start running with me... but he's an Army guy, and I'm nowhere near able to keep up with him, lol. I told him I'd stick to my stationary bike and karate. ;)

    So my advice? Talk to him. Tell him how you feel, and ask him to limit his junk food to things you know you can resist. If you need a workout buddy, ask him to come with you, or maybe find a female friend.
    My husband didn't "need" to run either and my pace is MUCH slower than what he is capiable of but he runs with me every time and it actually is harder for him because he has to slow his pace. Plus when I start thinking about quiting having him there only to support me - that would be just rude of me : ) let him run with you its great fun together!
  • terrappyn
    terrappyn Posts: 324 Member
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    My S/O is not skinny, at all, doesnt think he needs to work out and eats whatever anyway. He thinks that because his jeans from highschool still fit he's fine. Little does he know, its just that they fit under his belly now. UGH. Its frustrating and lately Ive found myself on the couch next to him....Gotta break this habit with myself and tell him to cook his own meals. If you want to rant and rave - we can do it together. Friend me.

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