Lost confused and have no hope.

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  • photorific
    photorific Posts: 577 Member
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    Sounds like you've gotten rid of the extraneous "issue/s" and finally had to come to terms with the ACTUAL issue/s. I'd also vote for counseling... another resource may be OA (Overeaters Anonymous). :flowerforyou:
  • pennell12
    pennell12 Posts: 190 Member
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    Hi,

    I just wanted to say that I feel for you. You have done a wonderful thing for yourself and you should feel good about that. I guess when we are overweight-and I am--we somehow tell ourselves that our lives will be perfect ONLY if we lose weight. Though losing the weight has made you most likely more healthy, It can't solve all of your-or mine-or anyone's issues. And believe ,me, we ALL have issues!

    I agree with the other here that you need some personal support and someone to help you understand why you are feeling the way that you do. All therapist are not the same. Please find one who can work with you to help you understand what is making you so unhappy and driving you to feel that you must be perfect in all that you eat and do.

    Perfection is not possible for any of us here. We can only work toward a balance of eating, exercising and living. YOUR BODY HAS GONE THROUGH MAJOR CHANGES. Perhaps your mind needs time to catch up!!!

    get in touch if I can help more. I am not a therapist. Just another person struggling with food, weight etc.. Be kind to yourself!

    Take good care of yourself,

    Mari D.
  • TravisWS
    TravisWS Posts: 9
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    Hi guys. I don't have the money to keep trying new therapists. They all seem to be in for the money. Can't blame them. I just...i wish I could just be an average guy. Who goes out to the burger joint with other guys and not worry about gaining weight.
  • FitXnX50
    FitXnX50 Posts: 122 Member
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    Average guy? How dull. Be yourself and find that middle balance. Take it from a gay guy: YOU define who you are - no one else - though plenty of people will try. You already know you aren't satisfied being too thin or too heavy, and that YOU are capable of both! Find your balance, knowing nothing in life is perfect or forever. I and others can tell you about free services, such as the peer support groups mentioned above, but you'll be the one to decide what you do. One thing that probably most people on this site have in common with you is that we've made excuses (too expensive, too hard, too inconvenient). I like hanging out with this positive clique of people who are at a point in life where they're, we're, saying Enough! Time for me to grow up and start taking care of myself.

    Like on airplanes, attend to your own air mask, so that then you're able to turn around and help others. We're with you but not able to do it for you!
  • nursenessa1
    nursenessa1 Posts: 182 Member
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    Mate, most people are miserable and drown it out with either.booze, drugs, food, sex, or money. This is just life. You can either keep worrying about it forever or just let go and do what you want.

    I'm constantly disassociated and can't relate to people, I'm unsocialized and paranoid, can't open up to counselors because I don't trust they actually care. Told myself 'I never want to numb myself with booze or things, I want to try and evolve beyond that and see if you can be happy without having to 'cope' every day.

    You know what, though? Just let go, relax. No one matters but yourself. Do what you want and ignore what society and everyone tells you you should be.

    I'm losing weight to discover myself, it's like some crazy adventure where I unwrap the chocolate bar to find a golden ticket and visit Willy Wonka. New things and surprises around every corner.

    I'll tell you what DOESN'T work though, mate.... doing the same thing day in and day out and expecting different results. Shake it up, try new things. Pills aren't a cure all because if I could take a pill that'd keep my mind calm and make every moment of life seem fantastic, I wouldn't even be here right now. I'd be hang gliding in Peru or something.

    No one else knows what's going on with this 'life' thing either. It's long, it's difficult, and we've got nothing better to do than contemplate why we're even here in the first place.

    NIce.
  • sophieclarev
    sophieclarev Posts: 55
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    Mate, I really feel for you. Many of my friends and family (including my husband, mother in law and brother) suffer from depression. They all dealt with it in different ways. The way I've seen the best results is from medication. I'm not saying you should take meds but to consider a discussion with your Doctor about what they might suggest. There are more ways around depression than therapy. Which is sooooo lucky considering I wouldn't be able to get my hubby in to talk to someone if my life depended on it!

    Don't give up Sweetie.
  • janenightingale
    janenightingale Posts: 55 Member
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    Your OP and subsequent replies made me very sad. Listen to all the good advice you are being given - there ARE good therapists and it is possible that medication might help. When I was depressed it took a long time for me to recognise it. Eventually I went to my GP and he gave me some anti-depressants. After three weeks or so (they take time to kick in) it felt like my head was starting to clear. I then went to a counsellor and was in the right mental place to get the help I needed. You are surrounded by support here but as FitXnX50 said - we're with you but not able to do it for you.
  • MsDandimite
    MsDandimite Posts: 52 Member
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    I wish there were magical words that we strangers could offer you that would instantly heal you and mend your soul. As you see, so many of us have struggled or are still struggling with anxiety, depression or other soul and self crushing things. Desperation is a good thing, even though it hurts and is confusing. It usually means your you is fighting back.
    If you need anyone to talk to, feel free to add me if you wish. I'm not a professional, but I've been my way to the deeps and back. Please know that you can get out of this, it is possible. It will hurt on the way and it might not be easy, but you've proven to yourself that you can do what you set out to do, right?
    Hugs.
  • gramacanada
    gramacanada Posts: 557 Member
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    There MUST be Somewhere in the States to get free Mental Health Care. Isn't there? The tone of you post is worrisome.
    Please continue to look for help. We all care. Private message sent.

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