FUN FRIDAY MFP DEBATE: PRENUPS!

It's between the two people getting married. It's nobody else's place to suggest they get one, particularly the groom's parents, and especially when I make more than he does...

wait, now it's getting personal. Carry on....

I think it depends on the situation. For my husband and I, no, we don't need one. But someone else may feel they do, and if they feel that way, they should get one!

In a way I see it as a set up for failure. That being said.....**** happens, and if you have a ton of money going in that you worked your *kitten* off for....protect it.

I agree... they do suck the romance out of it, but it adds security. Love and bliss is all good and dandy but you never know what could happen.

If I had anything to protect I'd get one, but by the time the man and I get married everything I have will really have been built by both of us anyway so it'd be silly.

I'm torn on this one. The divorce rate is so high, but at the same time, I would hate going into a marriage planning for failure.

I would also hate to lose all my stuff.

I'm not sentimental and I don't think that having one means you're setting yourselves up to eventually divorce, I think it's just practical. So many marriages end in divorce, why not be prepared by doing a relatively small amount of paperwork now to avoid potentially a TON of paperwork and court time later?

I'm getting married next June and my fiance and I are seriously considering it. We both make about the same amount now, and we don't have a house yet, but laying out some parameters is just prudent. For example, any assets I have now in my own accounts will be kept as such, and will go with me in the event of divorce. Any shared accounts that we set up will be split equally. Any shared assets such as a house will be determined at the time of purchase and the prenup will be amended to reflect our plans for said assets. In the event that one of us stops contributing to the joint assets, like if one of us stops working in order to raise our future children, we will also amend the prenup at that time.

It's kind of a pain to meet with lawyers, but with some advanced planning and discussion it can be a pretty simple process. And then you've both demonstrated that you can have an adult, mature conversation about money. Money is, after all, the #1 cause of fights between couples. So you should be able to talk about it with each other openly if you're going to spend the rest of your lives together.

normal, everyday people...don't see the point. If I was loaded, then yes...if he is loaded, then no :drinker:

Yes.

Hmmm.... Well, a few years ago, I would have said NO WAY, that is ridiculous, you should share everything. BUT, after being with my current boyfriend, I have definitely had a change of heart and would be more than willing to sign one for him. And yes, I already know he will have me sign one (if we were to get married). He's not stupid.

i see it this way - the act of "getting married" is the act of entering a contract. if one or both parties think that additions need to be made to the contract, then that's fine. work it out so that both parties are in agreement and sign. i think that if you think it's too "unromantic" then maybe you're rushing and not thinking about the long-term implications of what you're doing.

i don't see that it has to impact the MARRIAGE at all. the marriage is the life you're going to have. focus on that and let the lawyers worry about the contract.

but then, i have weird views on marriage and what it should be. and i don't care if i never do it.

Christian didn't make Ana sign one. :laugh: *ducking*

If there is a prenup involved on his side or mine I wouldn't see the point of getting married. Its all or nothing as far as I'm concerned.

I'd sign one.

I come to the table with nothing... including being debt free. I'm good with me as is and need nothing from dude.

Then again, I'm not so keen on marriage sometimes.

It's between the two people getting married. It's nobody else's place to suggest they get one, particularly the groom's parents, and especially when I make more than he does...

wait, now it's getting personal. Carry on....

HAHA.

if there are major assets one is bring into the marriage such as a business. It ALSO protects the person who is coming in with nothing. If he owns a house or business and defaults, you can squirm your way out so you're not penalized with a bankruptcy if he files after the divorce

I think it really depends on the relationship.

I've had this conversation with my boyfriend (we've been together for almost 7 years) and we came to the conclusion that what's ours is ours...I'd only take what I paid for and him the same. Not to say that we're expecting to break up, but we're even looking into buying a second house and renting it out in case it comes down to that, so we'd each have our own place with our own crap.

Even if things somehow became bitter between the two of us, we're not heartless enough to involve a lawyer to help either one of us claim what isn't ours.

...I'm assuming that pinky promise is legal enough.

Better to have one and not need it, then to need it and not have it.

We don't have one.