To loved ones, being heavy doesn't matter..

WalkingGirl1985
WalkingGirl1985 Posts: 2,046 Member
in Motivation and Support
I love my mom & my fiancee very much..and even some friends will tell me.."I love you just the way you are..why does it matter if you want to lose weight? Why does being thin matter so much? Why can't you be you?" Stuff like that. I feel my self esteem went down when having bad relationships and never able to love and accept myself as a person and have a hard time building myself up and seeing past the mirror. Yeah, I have gained and lost weight my entire life..always was a yo yo dieter. I hated being a heavy nearly 250lb person...yeah, my overall goal is just to be healthy and active...but in some ways, having a bikini body does matter in some way...sometimes I really think hard on my one true goal..is it just for health? Or is it just to be skinny and fit? Ever end up in that situation?

Replies

  • trophywife24
    trophywife24 Posts: 1,472 Member
    It's both, health and vanity.

    It's what you need to do to make yourself happy and comfortable in your own skin. Until you love yourself, you're not really living, the end.
    It's fine and dandy for people to love you when you're at your worst, as people who love you should do, but in the end you have to live in your body, you have to take control of your health.
  • cheshirechic
    cheshirechic Posts: 489 Member
    My husband told me to stop losing so much before the wedding, and now that the whole wedding craziness is over, I see his point. I don't want to gain any, but I want to maintain healthy eating and exercise at a more manageable level.

    When people would say things to me, like your friends said to you, I'd reply, "I just want to be the best, healthiest version of myself. Eating well and exercising makes me FEEL better and happier. And I'm being safe and healthy about doing it." They also might feel that your weight makes you who you are, and you can gently tell them that you aren't your pants size or the number on the scale, and that you'll still be your wonderful self when you lose weight, just healthier.

    Sometimes people are jealous, and sometimes they're concerned (or a mixture of both). Reassuring them that you're doing it the healthy way and mentioning fitness goals (like doing a 5k, for example), should help. At least it did for me.

    Good luck <3
  • sa11yjane
    sa11yjane Posts: 491 Member
    But of course it does matter. No matter how self-centred it may seem to others, if we are unhappy about our weight then we are unhappy about it and it takes over our whole life. Every bad weigh-in impacts our day, every good weigh-in impacts our day; catching sight of oneself unexpectedly can ruin our day; buying clothes because they fit rather than because we like them makes us feel sad....I could go on for hours. I want to lose weight to give myself the best chance of good health but I also want to not want to cry when I look in a mirror.

    Ultimately being fat is horrid, horrid, horrid and I HATE it.

    No matter what friends and family say, I cannot change how I feel about myself and I will continue to do my very best to lose weight until the day I die. I will never ever give in and accept my fat self.

    (And I appreciate that this all sounds really shallow in the big whole world picture and that makes me feel guilty too; all those people dying of starvation, all those wars, all that illness etc etc. Yes, I do have a million and one things to be grateful for and I am.....but I still can't accept the way that I look, and because I've done it to myself that makes me feel even more guilty) xxx

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