Need to vent...

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  • foxyforce
    foxyforce Posts: 3,078 Member
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    9.2 miles is awesome

    she sounds very selfish!
  • sydnisd183
    sydnisd183 Posts: 247 Member
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    I allowed many of the same things but I was in a relationship. I ALLOWED this person to walk all over me, to be demanding and selfish. I would "suck it up", do their bidding, and be boiling mad and seething inside. I hoped that if I was "there" for them in every way, they would like me and I would be needed. I finally ended this relationship this past December. I had to. I had had enough, and I couldn't take it anymore. I felt like I was playing myself and not having any kind of self-respect. For me, it wasn't about standing up to the other person. It was about learning how to stand up for myself, set boundaries and being ok with exercising them.
  • AprilRN10
    AprilRN10 Posts: 548 Member
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    I agree with risingaboveit!
  • megsmom2
    megsmom2 Posts: 2,362 Member
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    People can only treat you as badly as you let them. Sometimes we just have to stop being nice and say NO. These folks were not your friends, they were users. You're well rid of them.
  • sarahwilloughby07
    sarahwilloughby07 Posts: 39
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    You are so much nicer than I am. I would've put them in their place the moment they said they were going to be arriving earlier than they planned. It's completely disrespectful to you and your boyfriend. I would've locked them out of the house when they didn't show up before going to bed and called the cops if they started beating on the door while I was trying to sleep. (See, told you you were nicer than I am).
  • Nightelyn
    Nightelyn Posts: 31
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    It was really over the last few years that I noticed the changes in her. Needless to say, the friendship is certainly over after this last stunt. The only reason I didn't throw her out was that she's visiting her boyfriend out here in CA, but she still lives on the east coast. It's a new relationship, and they don't know when they'll get to spend time together now that he moved. Even if she was awful to me, I still wanted their trip to go well. So I made nice and made the effort, and now I can be done with the friendship in a non-messy way (as opposed to throwing her out and then having the backlash from her and other people about it). Next time she comes into town, I will avoid her calls and apologize after she leaves again saying I was busy.

    I'm the kind of person that would rather be nice and get rid of the person afterwards than deal with the drama and BS of just telling her to GTFO.

    He can find out on his own she's not a good person.

    Edit: Here's a picture of the two of us in the city yesterday (she's on the left). See how happy I look?

    643765388.jpg?key=20481536&Expires=1345867889&Key-Pair-Id=APKAIYVGSUJFNRFZBBTA&Signature=lsOKniqi~ONybiJUFkxDoKeL7ZoYu5xhEiiqDmGWemWWL9zc7TedI0rm9DByLnzZ3RrqR4yejZ5I3PlIFN3rY~qG9zv-mBGQrsH5d4gYo~weIJfx2~GXTvoesiZhLfn9WHaOIJPuZi68Sw6zxPU4Odc2hQ1Ifhw-6ySSNJmMB5M_
  • Lmdaniels
    Lmdaniels Posts: 91 Member
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    That was a pretty ridiculous "visit". They would have been mad at me the first night when they didn't have any dinner. The second night, they wouldn't have made it back into the house. Really, they would have had to make other arrangements in the beginning anyway. I don't do well with last minute freeloading.
  • JoolieW68
    JoolieW68 Posts: 1,879 Member
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    You, my dear, are a saint. I am actually quite impressed with your maturity and how you handled things. Karma will come around - good karma for you and deserving karma for her.
  • EricNCSU
    EricNCSU Posts: 699 Member
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    With the sudden change of plans and last minute arrival time, I would not have let them come over in the first place... so you're basically a saint for putting up with that.

    Plain stupid and inconsiderate.
  • subcult
    subcult Posts: 262 Member
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    I was on your side till you posted her pic lol.
  • saragato
    saragato Posts: 1,154
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    Yeah, it made me realize that I'm WAY too patient when it comes to her, and that I really have no desire to allow her back into any part of my life.

    Unfortunately those who are good friends tend to become doormats for trash. I had a friend quite similar and I'm glad I live an hour away from her now, she enjoys slandering my name and making other friends from the past contact me just to call me a b*tch. I always bought her brand new things, she'd get me secondhand off eBay (and she had a job), she disrespected my mother and her beliefs, and whenever she stayed with me she trashed my house, dragged her feet, and left things. She even ditched me at a concert I ended up sick at from smoke inhalation then tried hitting on the strangers that checked on me afterwards. Point was I took a lot of her crap, I even talked to her in hopes she'd get better but she just didn't care, life was about her and her misery that she never got off her duff to fix.

    People like that you don't need. Let her stay where she is far from you, let her be a memory and not a lingering presence.

    That aside personally I'd be embarrassed to ever ask a friend if my boyfriend could crash with me too, especially if they never met. To me that's bad manners.
  • small_ninja
    small_ninja Posts: 365 Member
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    Geez, that sucks. I have an old best friend who I've also grown apart from. As we were drifting apart I realised how much I let her get away with; she's always been a bit self-involved and it wasn't really until I started expecting more from her that things started going downhill. I do still love her and miss her a lot, but I always get the feeling that everything has to be about her and I don't feel like she cares much about what I have to say about things going on in my life. But I'm glad that, even though she's not a major part in my life anymore, she seems pretty happy atm, and I have other good friends. It's just a bit depressing when you realise things aren't ever going to go back to how they were before.
  • Tennessee2019
    Tennessee2019 Posts: 676 Member
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    With friends like that - who needs enemies?
    You were a lot more patient than I EVER would have been. This was supposed to be a time for you two to be together, no you being a third wheel. Your friend used you to her advantage so her boyfriend & her could have a fun time - at your expense.

    The next time they want to spend some time in California, I have the feeling you can expect a call from her asking to stay with you again. Please do not let her back in your life because you are SO much better off without her.
  • Avandel
    Avandel Posts: 283 Member
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    My best friend growing up and I had a falling out a few months ago. We tentatively patched things up before I moved across the country from NJ to the Bay Area in CA. A few weeks ago, she told me she was coming out to the west coast for a little while and wanted to see me the 27th and 28th of this month. I agreed.

    Fast forward to this week. Tuesday night, I get a text saying she was going to be in the bay area Wed and leaving Friday morning. In her message, she insinuated that she was planning on staying at my home for her visit. I was REALLY annoyed that she expected to drop in last minute when she had originally said she'd be there a week later, AND that she was planning on staying at my place, without asking, and was bringing her new boyfriend that I'd never met before.

    :noway:
    I would have nipped it in the bud right from the get go with this! "You said you would be here next week, unfortunately we'll be away for the rest of this week." "That's too bad we'll miss each other, hope you have a great time on your vaca"!
  • leahartmann
    leahartmann Posts: 415
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    Wow! Having a great friend and neglecting it. Abusing you and your GREAT bf. Bringing a stranger. Completely disrespecting you. And so on. Kick her out of your life! If you don´t respect yourself, no one will. And she apparently wouln´t at all. I have the greatest friend. I trust her unconditional and would literally die for her, if I had to. And so would she, I know that (she will be visiting me for almost a week in a couple of days.). True friendship is out there waiting for you, but she is certailnly not one!! Get rid of the deadweight.
  • SurfinBird1981
    SurfinBird1981 Posts: 517 Member
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    Sorry but she sounds positively ghastly! I'm mad and I don't even know her :laugh:
  • livelivefree
    livelivefree Posts: 18 Member
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    I know how you feel. one of my best friends from the time i was 4 till i moved away a year ago, has the same thing where he thinks he can treat people however he likes and then it will just go away with a sorry.

    i just had to cut all contact with him because otherwise i would just give in again. it`s really sad but not as frustrating.
  • Iceman1800
    Iceman1800 Posts: 476
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    Yeah, it made me realize that I'm WAY too patient when it comes to her, and that I really have no desire to allow her back into any part of my life.
    sounds like a very one way friendship. Time to cut ties.
  • sparklelioness
    sparklelioness Posts: 600 Member
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    She used you, took advantage of you, and has no respect for you at all. I suggest you never talk to her again. And if the photoshoot was done using your camera, you might want to doublecheck it-ive heard that brand of camera can spontaneously delete all photos taken. Which would be SUCH a shame :)

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