Ups, downs, and men.

dragonbug300
dragonbug300 Posts: 760 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hey all, I could use some support right about now. I will admit this is going to sound tremendously like the whining of a hopeless teenage girl, for which I apologize. :embarassed:

Has anyone else experienced highs and lows (with mood/eating) due to the presence of relationships in their lives? Recently I began a tentative long-distance relationship with a guy. We were talking nearly every day for weeks, and recently I haven't heard from him at all.

I've had a history of eating disorders--binge eating being the more recent debacle. But over the summer I was able to start turning the tables, raise my self-esteem, and eat more reasonable portions without worrying. When I started seeing this gentleman, I began eating healthier and doing more effective workouts (frequency was never a problem... every day is a good day to workout!). My waist size dropped, I started to see more definition, and I was overall very proud of the progress I'd made just by making those dietary changes in a few short weeks.

We haven't been in contact the last few days, though, I don't know what's up with him, but I do know that my habits have changed for the worse. So many calories, in so little time! I feel like this is withdrawal from our nightly conversations, and panic that I've done something wrong.

I guess I'm looking for a bit of support and encouragement. Have any of you noticed a trend with eating and being in relationships? How do you cope with it? What about experience with long distance relationships? I'd love to hear from you all!

Replies

  • shaelataylor
    shaelataylor Posts: 224 Member
    well when im stressed i seem to bounce between eating too much and eating too little. it just depends on teh specific situation. i am currently having an issue with a long distance guy and its making my eating far less healthy so i definitely understand and sympathize. youre more than welcome to friend me and see if we can help each other through it. i normally just try to make myself do what i had been doing and eventually it sticks again.
  • Sierra_419
    Sierra_419 Posts: 201 Member
    Emotional eating and eating because you are bored. I suffer from this also. Whenever me and my boyfriend fight or get into it and we dont talk... I end up eating like crazy... I guess food is some times a comfort.. But you cant let it. Find something to occupy your time. Stay busy. Dont stress over it. I kno easier said than done..
  • sandiegosummer
    sandiegosummer Posts: 55
    I feel you! I really do.

    A couple of weeks ago, two months after we ended a horribly unhealthy (emotionally, physically, spiritually) relationship, my ex contacted me to try to reconcile. He was a big reason for my weight gain, as we did nothing but eat out and drink when we were together and when we were apart the emotional crap he put me through drained me of all will to be active happy or healthy.

    Long story short, the last week I've fallen into old habits and given up trying to improve my life in anyway no gym, no tracking, slacking on the job, slacking with friends and hobbies, because, hey! he was back and that's all that mattered and he promised he had changed and finally we could be together in a healthy and happy relationship and bla bla bla... Clearly this didn't work out ...b/c these things rarely do.

    I am proud to have told him to stay out of my life for good this time, but i am so mad at myself for giving up my diet and my other self improvement goals.

    So I am just going to take a breath, recognize my mistakes, and recommit to this and to improving myself in all aspects of my life. It's hard to do esp in the midst of emotional stress...but it's better than quitting or beating yourself up so bad you can't get back up....
  • Spartan_Maker
    Spartan_Maker Posts: 683 Member
    Hi, dragon. It's not unusual, of course, for people to use food for emotional coping; but, more specific to your situation, there are 6.7 billion people on earth and about 1.3 billion of them are unmarried men. Notwithstanding your current situation, then, the numbers favor your ultimate happiness if our companionship is important to you.
  • dragonbug300
    dragonbug300 Posts: 760 Member
    Shaelataylor and Sierra, thank you! Glad to know I'm not the only one. Also, I have no trouble staying busy. Ye gods, I'll be busy with classes and work until my hair goes silver and I've acquired thirty cats!

    Sandiegosumme, I appreciate you sharing that with me. Man does that ever sounds stressful. I'm sure you'll be happier and healthier without that guy, regardless of whether he's changed or not, his presence clearly did you no good. I'm happy you were able to make a tough decision for your health! Cheers to strength!

    Spartan_Maker, please don't misunderstand: I'm not searching for relationships. My number one goal is to get through college and find a career other than working in a restaurant, and I have rejected many guys in the last two years to achieve that end. That being said, it is rare that I connect with a person in such a way that I enjoy their company regardless of distance. That, I suppose, is why I'm experiencing some vulnerability at the moment.
  • DawnEH612
    DawnEH612 Posts: 574 Member
    Dragon.. I have lived this turmoil most of my life. I realized, finally, that, my weight and food issues were really a symptom of what was going on in my head... when I came to MFP it was to hold my food choices accountable, but ultimately it s to get my head right.

    I have been in relationships that definite triggered issues and either I stareved myself becaus I was so depressed I just couldn't eat but most of the time I ate... A lot.. Mindlessly. Eating put me in a set of eating trance, or eating coma, as I call it. I realized tuning out and shoveling food in my mouth literally numbed me... Until I came to and saw the food massacre around me... Then I would beat myself up relentlessly.

    Anyway, I have several blogs on here describing my journey and struggles. I encourage you to take a look at them, if you want. As far as the guy situation, I struggle with those same issues and currently dealing with a similar situation. I am "practicing" dating with a new guy. However, sometimes it's hard as it triggers my childhood abandonment issues and I find myself in panic mode when I don't hear from him when I expect to.... I have learned, however, taking out my fear by harming my body with excess food is not a good way to handle things and I will only create more self doubt within myself.

    Stand tall and don't let ANYONE stop you from shining!
  • Spartan_Maker
    Spartan_Maker Posts: 683 Member
    Shaelataylor and Sierra, thank you! Glad to know I'm not the only one. Also, I have no trouble staying busy. Ye gods, I'll be busy with classes and work until my hair goes silver and I've acquired thirty cats!

    Sandiegosumme, I appreciate you sharing that with me. Man does that ever sounds stressful. I'm sure you'll be happier and healthier without that guy, regardless of whether he's changed or not, his presence clearly did you no good. I'm happy you were able to make a tough decision for your health! Cheers to strength!

    Spartan_Maker, please don't misunderstand: I'm not searching for relationships. My number one goal is to get through college and find a career other than working in a restaurant, and I have rejected many guys in the last two years to achieve that end. That being said, it is rare that I connect with a person in such a way that I enjoy their company regardless of distance. That, I suppose, is why I'm experiencing some vulnerability at the moment.

    It's true that only 2.5% of those 1.3 billion are far enough out on the bell curve to qualify as "rare," whatever the definition. Still and all, that leaves about 525 million from which to choose, most of whom probably won't leave you wondering "what's up," as you put it.

    To put a finer point on it, by any measure, you're too smart and pretty to let one guy affect anything in your life.

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