Fat girl in a swim suit

Options
2456

Replies

  • Doozer1978
    Doozer1978 Posts: 61 Member
    Options
    Right try the following:
    - spray tan
    - nail extensions to lengthen fingers and detract (will also make you feel good)
    - floaty maxi dresses
    - sarong wraps
    - costumes with skirts attached
    - kaftans


    Good luck - your other half loves you......we think you are cracking and if his family judge you.......well......don't invite them to the wedding (if you have one!!!!!!).

    Hold your head up high and be proud of who you are - by the sounds of it a survivor.

    Xx
  • supplemama
    supplemama Posts: 1,956 Member
    Options
    Ok this is what I do. I got a nice, flattering women's halter for my swimsuit top, then a pair of men's swimsuit trunks for my bottom. The trunks went to my knees and kept everything covered up. The bulk of my fat is in my bum and thighs, and they are very very jiggly...there is NO WAY I'd wear a regular women's swimsuit out in public, especially in front of my in-laws. This allowed me to feel comfortable swimming.

    I've lost 50 pounds so far since January (started MFP in June) and have had to get a new suit. Same deal, women's top and men's bottom, just a lot smaller. When I reach my goal weight (130 pounds) I'm going to get a bikini top and boy shorts bottom :smile:
  • Erisad
    Erisad Posts: 1,580
    Options
    This is why I wear swimdresses where the skirt comes down to the knees. I went to a pool party with all my skinny gorgeous college friends and I always felt like the odd one out because I can't wear a two piece. So yeah, just find a suit that flatters you and you should be fine. Although I have called people out on comments like that when I was over 200 pounds. Usually what they say is, "Oh but you wear it well!" Like a shirt or something. *sigh* I don't get people.
  • bulbadoof
    bulbadoof Posts: 1,058 Member
    Options
    Swim-dresses or tankinis with skirt bottoms are the answer. The men's bottoms are a great idea too.

    That said, you're not going to have fun if you're worried about what they're thinking, no matter what you wear. Forget about it and enjoy your vacation - their judgments have absolutely no effect on you if you don't let them.

    If all else fails, give them something positive to judge you by - how much fun you are to be around! What a great sense of humor you have! How nice of a sandcastle you can make! How much you love to swim! How happy the two of you look together! There's a million things that define you and make you special, and your weight doesn't have to be one of them. :flowerforyou:
  • Keightisgr8
    Keightisgr8 Posts: 121 Member
    Options
    Treat yourself to a spray tan before you go - it'll help hide your scars and make you look slimmer and more toned. And if you hear any comments - don't c0ck a deaf ear - challenge them, politely. Otherwise they'll eat away at you. xxx

    ^ Agree on the challenging them politely. Do not let these people bring you down, especially not to your face! No need to be rude or anything, just don't let them be either.
  • kelseyhere
    kelseyhere Posts: 1,123 Member
    Options
    sounds like you are more comfortable in your own skin than your bf's mom! she probably talks that way about the bigger lady in the zumba class because she is insecure herself. you are on mfp so i'm guessing you're taking the right steps to get healthy, that is what matters. as long as you make healthful food choices and care about your health in the long run, a little extra curvature is nothing! get yourself a lovely, sheer wrap or cover-up so you can still flaunt your curves, but disguise the scars a bit. personally i've always liked scras - they usually have a good story to go with them! i never understood why people are so obsessed with getting them removed. that's what makes us human. if we all looked like barbie that would just be boring. i would like to hange the title of you post to "fab girl in swim suit"
  • Koldnomore
    Koldnomore Posts: 1,613 Member
    Options
    Treat yourself to a spray tan before you go - it'll help hide your scars and make you look slimmer and more toned. And if you hear any comments - don't c0ck a deaf ear - challenge them, politely. Otherwise they'll eat away at you. xxx

    ^ Agree on the challenging them politely. Do not let these people bring you down, especially not to your face! No need to be rude or anything, just don't let them be either.

    <-- NO ONE can make you feel inferior without your consent ;) My boyfriends family is also difficult - to the point where they won't even bother to take down pictures of him and his X wife so all I see when I go visit are pictures of them together. He is a very slender guy also but honestly I have given up caring what they (or anyone else) think about me. You are on the journey for your self, not for them.
  • marieautumn
    marieautumn Posts: 932 Member
    Options
    wear whatever you feel hottest in. you know your body better than we do and you know what cuts look best on you. his family shouldn't even be a factor, as long as you feel comfortable just enjoy yourself.
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
    Options
    They know what you look like.
    Try a whole bunch of suits on and find a few you really like and are confident wearing.

    Enjoy
  • Kenzietea2
    Kenzietea2 Posts: 1,132 Member
    Options
    50's pin up style one pieces are very in style right now, and extremely flattering. 6 months after giving birth (in a few days) I have to go to a wedding at the cayman islands. I doubt I will be ready for my 2 piece again so I am totally planning on rocking one of those. As far as the scars, I doubt anyone will notice and I certainly hope they wouldn't ask about them. Get a spray tan, a bikini wax, shave your legs and HAVE FUN. Who cares if your boyfriend's family thinks your fat? Are you nice, a good person, fun to be around? If 'being fat' is the only negative thing they think about you, than sounds like it could be a lot worse. Your man loves you. He thinks you're sexy. So go and have fun and look adorable in your bathing suit.
  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
    Options
    Wow, sorry his family sounds so judgmental :/ I agree with the spray tan before you go. Also, would you maybe feel more comfortable in a tankini or even a one-piece? I've actually seen some reallllly cute one-pieces lately! Then you could feel a little more covered and still look adorable!

    But most importantly, remember that it doesn't matter what they think. It's your body and you deserve to love it, not compare it to others. You are gorgeous and if they don't see it, that's their loss.
  • HollyAus
    HollyAus Posts: 251 Member
    Options
    My mom is a "bigger" gal and she is always going on tropical vacations. She can rock a swi suit lol... But she says what really helps her is getting one with underwire. She said it helped her feel better about how she looked too. And she said they were NOT uncomfortable. ou might have to "invest" in one, but she says theyare worth every penny! Good luck and HAVE FUN!!
  • jacksonpt
    jacksonpt Posts: 10,413 Member
    Options
    Hold yur head up,like the runway model you are!!! if yur confident they wont see anything but the fab that he sees in you!

    Seriously??? I'm not even sure what to say...


    OP... Is his family/mother judgmental, or just unaware? If unaware, she doesn't mean anything by the comments, probably has no idea what 200lbs looks like (so the lady she's talking about is probably MUCH heavier than that), and all you can do is blow it off the best you can. If judgmental, then you have ot start preparing yourself now. Chances are she's going to find something to judge you about regardless, which sucks, but again... not much you can do about it. Do the best you can between now and then with your diet/workouts, and maybe you can turn the conversation from what you aren't to what you've been able to accomplish so far.
  • HurricaneElaine
    HurricaneElaine Posts: 984 Member
    Options
    Indulge yourself in a new bathing suit! I always have covered my thighs, with a skirted suit, or what they call a swim-dress. You can find them online or in catalogs. As a matter of fact, I JUST saw a Arizona Mail Order catalog that had them on clearance!! Good luck! :flowerforyou:
  • PuggleLover
    PuggleLover Posts: 261 Member
    Options
    I am never the skinny girl at my family or my husband's family get-togethers. In fact, it's just the opposite. So I used to never wear a suit and always sit on the side with shorts and a T shirt. But finally - after 15 years - I said screw it. I bought some swim shorts and a tankini top and went in the water. Here's the thing... the skinny ones like to lay on the beach, sit in a chair, soak in the sun... etc... but not me... I want to swim in the water, ride the water skis, so the water slides, play with the kids and have fun. So... who really lost out... them...cuz they just lay there.

    Tell your BF how you feel and let him know you need and want some encouragement when you are around his family.

    Like everyone else said... spray tans work wonders. I have scars all over my legs from surgery and it helps hide those.
  • _Kitten_Kate
    _Kitten_Kate Posts: 520 Member
    Options
    I agree with all of what everyone else said... and yeah.. try a spray tan... a couple of times before you go.
    As far as swim suits... I love Athleta. I have a couple of the tankini tops with built in underwire... makes the boobs looks fabulous.

    Don't let what you think people are saying matter to you. When you do.. well they accomplish more than they deserve. ya know?
    You are worth more to yourself and your bf I hope than to be treated like that.

    What does he say? Does he back you up?
  • skm4jc
    skm4jc Posts: 62 Member
    Options
    You're a gorgeous gal, and your boyfriend obviously thinks so too. Try to find a suit that flatters your size - tankinis with skirted bottoms are awesome. Fashion Bug is closing, so if they have any swimsuits left, take advantage of the website's closeout sale. I just bought a size 18 from their store earlier this summer and love it - I've actually gotten several compliments. When you've got a huge gut like mine, that does wonders. I also weigh at least 30 more lbs than you, so hang in there. I'm here for you if you need to vent!

    (Note: Tankinis are also great because, as my cousin pointed out, you get the coverage of a 1-piece, but it's far easier to wrestle only HALF a wet swimsuit off if you have to use the restroom! :laugh: )
  • JoyousMN
    JoyousMN Posts: 9
    Options
    I'd just like to add my two cents, because my husband and I dealt with his family early on in our relationship. They are all very good at talking about people to OTHER family members, but never to the person they are talking about.

    So after we'd been dating a while, I had something that was bothering me and it involved his family. HE talked to them about it and set the ground rules. He'd say, "Joy gets upset when you..." and stand up for me. (Now I tell them myself, but this was back when we were first dating).

    Perhaps you could have him talk to his mother, (or whoever the real "head of the family" is--usually the mom LOL) and tell her that you are worried about these things, and have him tell her that he expects her and the others in the family to treat you with respect and kindness and if they have any issues with you they should talk about them to him. At least for now until you develop your own relationship with them.

    I don't know..maybe it's not the right solution for you...but it really worked for us. I know the family still discussed us, and our many issues, *grin* but they knew they couldn't cross a certain line and I think it made all of my and my husbands relationships with them more out front.

    We going on 28 year of marriage, and his mother and I have a fantastic relationship, and that's not always the way it is in that family.
  • marz42
    marz42 Posts: 223 Member
    Options
    So to my great delight, after 4 years of dating, my boyfriends family has extended an invitation to me to join them on a family vacation. I really want to be thrilled and over joyed that they are finally coming around on me being in their son's life BUT I will spend a week on a boat in a swim suit with them......I'm a US size 18.....the next biggest girl is his mom, who wears a 6, and then his sister wears a 4. The men, my BF included are all well over 6 feet tall (my man is 6'1" and 160 pounds - and the shortest - though not the most muscled of the pack). If they were all just skinny I wouldnt care - but man oh man can they judge!!!!!! His mother does zumba and is always yalking about this woman who "MUST WEIGHT AT LEAST 200 POUNDS!" and I'm in the corner thinking "so 20 pounds LESS than me?"I can dress my body well to flatter and hide....but there's no where to hide in a swim suit....help!


    *EDIT* Im also really self conscious for another reason too....I've been healthier for about two years now but I used to be pretty heavily involved in self mutilation....something my boyfriend knows all about, but his family doesn't. My thighs are covered in scars. That really worries me.

    Heh..I worry about that some with some of the exercise classes, logically I know what "they" think doesn't matter, but sometimes I feel self conscious especially when I'm one of just a few big girls in the class and I tend to sweat a lot even if I'm not actually that tired or winded. But ..I figure I need to just keep doing what I'm doing. I've got this fantasy scenario where I've gotten fit enough to really run and I go into the gym and someones like ah fat girl bet she can't do anything and I just get on there and RUN. Neener beyatches.
  • madameduffay
    madameduffay Posts: 166 Member
    Options
    Look for something called the "Miracle Suit" if you want a slimming bathing suit. I know Eddie Bauer carries them in their catalogue. I'm not sure where else. It takes about 10lbs off (but can be a bit of a struggle to get in and out of LOL). I've had a couple and love them.

    Also, I find that if you get a strap that ties around your neck, it accenuates the chest area.

    I think the spray tan idea is good to hide the scars a bit.

    Good luck. I'm sure you'll look great.

    M

Categories