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Best things I've seen/read in dating profiles
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Dating Nightmare #37
I once had a guy ask me out on a site ... he picked to meet at a local bar . We meet everythings ok... we walk up to the bar I order a blue moon, he orders a coke. I must have gave him a "look" he said, oh I don't drink. So, I asked why didn't you want to meet at bar then?? he said because I want you to get drunk!!! WTF! Creeper. I left.0 -
9. I only date bald men. (I wasn't sure if she meant upstairs or downstairs, so I emailed her for clarification).
Epic! lol
Well, it was confusing, so I had to ask.0 -
Haha...an I like chesse burgers an chesse burgers an sonic an fast food places an fancy places! Bahahaha! I am DYING!!!!
This one was too funny, but I think I laughed the most at the "i'm not a molester" one. It reminded me of that one episode of "It's Always Sunny"
Obviously he isn't...0 -
Been married 22 years so there was no Internet or sites. Some of the young guys I work with have shown me some ads though and they are Hilarious! I saw a pattern that was scary.But this one burned in my brain!
22yr old BBW (I had to have this one explained to me, it means Big Beautiful Woman, there was a pic and she was 5' tall by 5' wide ummmm ok)
3kids, Aint looking for a man to pay my bills (of course not you have 3 child support checks)
must be HONEST GOT A JOB AND DON'T CHEAT(a lil angry maybe)
MUST be Tall & in shape, no slobs! ( ok but can I be a BBM? I mean if it works for you)0 -
Dating Nightmare #37
I once had a guy ask me out on a site ... he picked to meet at a local bar . We meet everythings ok... we walk up to the bar I order a blue moon, he orders a coke. I must have gave him a "look" he said, oh I don't drink. So, I asked why didn't you want to meet at bar then?? he said because I want you to get drunk!!! WTF! Creeper. I left.
OMG. What a tool.0 -
I met my now-husband on OkCupid for the first time a little over three years ago. He had a story in his profile that made me laugh so hard I peed myself a little. I read that story MULTIPLE times while we were dating because it just got funnier, and I finally got him to tell it to me in person.
Anyway, since it's a long story and his whole profile was pretty classic, I'll just link you rather than recreate it here.
Enjoy: http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&frm=1&source=web&cd=1&cad=rja&ved=0CCIQFjAA&url=http://www.okcupid.com/profile/LF1M42VLIFE&ei=G7Q7ULWeMcGa2AX24ICYDQ&usg=AFQjCNHiAy87QJSzwNvzWR1LKWq_8WJdCQ&sig2=jmrrX5QAHJ_KgdUGvJ9BUw
Or you could just look for him: lf1m42vlife0 -
Haha...an I like chesse burgers an chesse burgers an sonic an fast food places an fancy places! Bahahaha! I am DYING!!!!
This one was too funny, but I think I laughed the most at the "i'm not a molester" one. It reminded me of that one episode of "It's Always Sunny"
Obviously he isn't...
That one was too freaking creepy! I'll stick to dumba$$ funny 0 -
Loved the guy who's screen name was Wet Kitty....seriously WTF?0
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Ooo, even one better that I just saw last night: he doesn't have a pic posted because he is a very high profile executive (yeah, right)How about the ones that don't have a picture on their profile...but they're not married or anything! Lol0 -
Although I respect the honesty I would have told them on the phone before a date instead of putting it on my profile if I was him.
This was probably over 10 years ago but he stated:
First you must know I have herpes.
Needless to say me and my girl at the time eyes grew and moved on without reading the rest of it. Which I am sure is what he wanted but dang it was on the WWW. LOL0 -
uote]
Ooo, even one better that I just saw last night: he doesn't have a pic posted because he is a very high profile executive (yeah, right)How about the ones that don't have a picture on their profile...but they're not married or anything! Lol
[/quote]
He's Jason Bourne0 -
All the men's profiles are boring...outdoorsy, hunt, fish, camp, me Tarzan you Jane!
I think that's because that's all they are hard wired for, unfortunately for us :ohwell:
Hey now - don't lump me in with the rest. I abhor all of those things except fishing, and even that I maybe do once a year.
Dating Profiles have a meta-language all their own. I have noticed a few trends myself:
First, assuming a standard range of 1-10, women who fall within 3-8 tend to either drastically over- or underestimate their attractiveness. I have seen WAY too many 3's who think they are 11s, and way too many 8s who think they are -1s.
I have learned that seeing a woman upside-down inexplicably adds 2 points to her perceived rating. This means I now know to flip the pic over before I decide. Why do you look better upside down?!?
No one can agree on what a body type means. One girl's "curvy" is another girl's "Average" is another girl's "overweight".
Every girl apparently is "random."0 -
All the men's profiles are boring...outdoorsy, hunt, fish, camp, me Tarzan you Jane!
hahaha!! love this
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Bump for later, hilarious read so far. Thanks ladies and gents, keep those stories coming.:glasses:0
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Aw, I don't think my profile is boring. There's nothing about fishing, hunting, throwing women in caves, how my ex is this or that, mommy issues, video games or sports. Maybe I need to send it out to my FL and get some feedback for fun. 0
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Aw, I don't think my profile is boring. There's nothing about fishing, hunting, throwing women in caves, how my ex is this or that, mommy issues, video games or sports. Maybe I need to send it out to my FL and get some feedback for fun.
Oh please do!!
I also hate the guys that say "I just want to snuggle"... sure you do...0 -
Aw, I don't think my profile is boring. There's nothing about fishing, hunting, throwing women in caves, how my ex is this or that, mommy issues, video games or sports. Maybe I need to send it out to my FL and get some feedback for fun.
Oh please do!!
I also hate the guys that say "I just want to snuggle"... sure you do...
LOL. Well, some of us do. I think tomorrow I'll post it to my FL for fun. Hope it provides a few laughs.0 -
Aw, I don't think my profile is boring. There's nothing about fishing, hunting, throwing women in caves, how my ex is this or that, mommy issues, video games or sports. Maybe I need to send it out to my FL and get some feedback for fun.
Yes, I think you should...that, or let us all write it for you...ha ha ha0 -
Aw, I don't think my profile is boring. There's nothing about fishing, hunting, throwing women in caves, how my ex is this or that, mommy issues, video games or sports. Maybe I need to send it out to my FL and get some feedback for fun.
Oh please do!!
I also hate the guys that say "I just want to snuggle"... sure you do...
I found out rather quickly when a guy said he wanted to "watch a movie" he really didn't mean that at all. I need some sort of dating decoder list.0 -
I'm stealing these "rules" from a friend's post on another message board:
* Post a current photo.
* Don't post photos of your dogs or cats unless you are in the photo as well. People don't visit your profile because they want to go out on a date with your dogs or your cats.
* Never post photos of your children on your profile unless you are in the photo as well. I never understood why single mothers posted stand-alone photos of their children on a dating site.
* Never say, "I'm looking for a guy who doesn't play games." Guys have no idea WTF you're talking about when you post something like that. Seriously, what specifically does that mean?
* When you're taking a photo of yourself for a dating site, pretend that there's a force-field above your head that will cut off your arm if you hold your camera up high to take a photo of yourself from above. Camera angle shots from above are always strange-looking and deceptive.
* No duck-face photos.
* Smile in your photo. It used to amaze me how many women posted profile photos without smiling.0 -
i am "outdoorsy" in the way that i enjoy running outside around a trail or riding bikes around the lake or mountain trail or playing in the pool in the summer time, but i have never hunted and don't plan on it, have not fished since i was about 8 years old and have no interest in doing so again, and camping is ok a few times a year with friends/family but i by no means try to live only for camping. just thought i would throw that out there for all you "male species profilers" oh yeah, and i'm single with recent pictures that look exactly like i currently do hahaha 0
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Haha...an I like chesse burgers an chesse burgers an sonic an fast food places an fancy places! Bahahaha! I am DYING!!!!
Hahaha! Wow!0 -
You're freaking hialrious! :flowerforyou:0
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Can't wait to view some more fun profiles tonight. What will I find?
BTW, ff we're not friends people, add a brother. Oh wait, I'm Italian/Irish. Hmmm. Well, I can roll like that. 0 -
Those are awesome. People trip me out. Especially on a dating website. I am so trying not to use those again lol.0
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i always loved the guys who appear so into finding out all about you...and then send/share a photo of their "junk" or whip it out after meeting for 30 minutes.
*sigh* those were the good ole days...NOT.
Been there!!!0 -
I was on pof for about 2 weeks. That was an experience.
"im juss lukin fo' funn." Really? Shouldn't you be looking for an English tutor?0 -
uote]
Ooo, even one better that I just saw last night: he doesn't have a pic posted because he is a very high profile executive (yeah, right)How about the ones that don't have a picture on their profile...but they're not married or anything! Lol
He's Jason Bourne
[/quote]
No he is Bruce Wayne0 -
Dating Nightmare #37
I once had a guy ask me out on a site ... he picked to meet at a local bar . We meet everythings ok... we walk up to the bar I order a blue moon, he orders a coke. I must have gave him a "look" he said, oh I don't drink. So, I asked why didn't you want to meet at bar then?? he said because I want you to get drunk!!! WTF! Creeper. I left.
points for honesty?0 -
I was on pof for about 2 weeks. That was an experience.
"im juss lukin fo' funn." Really? Shouldn't you be looking for an English tutor?
hahaha I love this.0
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