Fat girl in a swim suit
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Instincts are a powerful thing. If your gut is telling you not to be that vulnerable around them, there's a good chance they haven't earned that vulnerability! If you feel their judgment could wreck havoc on your emotional well-being, I say don't do the swimsuit thing. There's no need to subject yourself to scrutiny and lies! Maybe just strut around in a bathing suit when it's just you and your boyfriend and friends
People who aren't going to make you feel wretched over petty things. 0 -
So here goes nothing - I figure if I can survive the internet seeing it I can survive his family seeing the same thing
WEAR THIS!
You do look very good! If you are worried about scars carry a cover up
Your bathing suit looks great on you anyways! And as he said, get a cover up, or a sarong or something. Or if they ask, just say it's past, or a cat. They don't need to know if you don't want to relive your past.0 -
This is so, so cute!0
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Okay look. If they are giving you attitude and being judgmental about someone who weighs 200 pounds!!! Then this might be fun:
Wear the skimpiest f*cking yellow polka dot bikini you can find.
DO NOT cover up or wear a skirted tank or ANY tank, they will just smirk and be condescending (even if they are polite up front).
Am I right? Put on your biggest sunglasses, maybe do a few shots of JD, and prance your butt off. Jiggle and giggle. Lounge... defiantly.
They might not like it, but I believe on some level they will have a grudging respect for you for daring to be confident.
And if they don't, if they never truly like you until you lose weight... they aren't worth it. And the best boyfriend in the world won't make up for that.
EDIT: good grief, you look adorable in that black suit. DO IT!
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To the OP, I feel a bit weird saying this as I would normally never comment on anyone's appearance/body (as I hate when people do it to me - and there's no way it can be anything but judgmental, whether it's a compliment or not...) - but after reading your first post I was actually quite surprised when seeing the pictures above. I don't personally find any particular size more or less attractive, so that's not the point of saying this, but, anyway, I just want to tell you that you must clearly be much larger in your mind than you look to other people (which is pretty common I'd think). So, three things: 1. If I saw you on the beach your size would not register with me - i.e. I don't think you look 'big', just normal and curvy (not that looking 'big' would be a negative thing, I'm just saying I don't think you do!) 2. That is a great bathing suit on you. 3. You're very pretty, and you have absolutely nothing to hide or be ashamed of. You really look great in that swimsuit.
As for the scars - just hold your head high and try not to think about it. His family might notice them, they might not. They might wonder, they might not. But few people would be tactless enough to say something, so just try not to worry about what other people may or may not think. And remember that most of us have or have had some form of coping mechanisms we'd rather not tell the world about. Not all coping mechanisms leave visible scars, but most people know what it's like to go through a difficult time, and may not, deep down, be as judgmental as one might fear.
^^^ This is SPOT on.0 -
^This. It's a cute/sporty look!I got a nice, flattering women's halter for my swimsuit top, then a pair of men's swimsuit trunks for my bottom. The trunks went to my knees and kept everything covered up.0 -
You have nothing to worry about. You look greatSo here goes nothing - I figure if I can survive the internet seeing it I can survive his family seeing the same thing0 -
Ok this is what I do. I got a nice, flattering women's halter for my swimsuit top, then a pair of men's swimsuit trunks for my bottom. The trunks went to my knees and kept everything covered up. The bulk of my fat is in my bum and thighs, and they are very very jiggly...there is NO WAY I'd wear a regular women's swimsuit out in public, especially in front of my in-laws. This allowed me to feel comfortable swimming.
I've lost 50 pounds so far since January (started MFP in June) and have had to get a new suit. Same deal, women's top and men's bottom, just a lot smaller. When I reach my goal weight (130 pounds) I'm going to get a bikini top and boy shorts bottom
I like this idea, I might try this myself.0 -
That's a very cute suit and looks lovely on you. Where did you get it?
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Hey gorgeous! It is difficult when you know you are going to be in a situation where others will judge, and my heart goes out to you. Please do not let the fear/dread of what they might say color the whole experience for you.
As for the scars - they are part of your story. Like stretch marks they are the outward manifestation of something that you experienced in your life. The best way to deal with them is something only you can decide - but you either flaunt them or cover them up depending on your comfort in sharing that part of yourself with these people. If it has taken 4 years to be invited on vac with them, then I say protect yourself and get a couple of wraps. even better - make your own (add fringe & feel super flirty!) Then if they comment on you wearing them you can brag about the fact that you made them yourself and they will not think it unusual that you are always wearing one.
As for the weight - it is what it is. I think everyone - large & small has body issues. Being in a swim suit can make us feel exposed. And lets be brutally honest - they know what size you are already - they may not have seen your thighs, tummy,etc fully exposed without some clothing, but they already know you aren't the same size as them under your clothes.
Sounds like the mom has her own issues, and in all honesty, she has probably commented on your size in conversation already if she speaks that way about others. But that is her issue, not yours. What is important here is that you are not happy about your size, and are addressing the issue. I get caught up with what others think - so I get it. But truly, make this vacation about showing your personality since you sound totally rad to me! If they are gonna talk there is nothing you can do to stop them. I do agree with the poster about trying to find a common bond with the mom & if zumba is your thing, than I would talk about it. But if not, thats cool too. You are going to be on vacation. So, when they are talking about not being able to eat this or that, maybe share your experiences in learning to count your calories, etc on here. Maybe opening their eyes to this being a new development in your life will help them to cheer you on without the judgement. Here's hoping it all goes well --- please post when you get back and let us know.
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I think you have a very beautiful face. Apart from that, i love to look at heavy women. Lots to more love................ It is a shame there is an industry that promotes self humiliation just to cash in on Millions or is it Billions of dollars.................. Skinny is not beautiful, it is disgusting and unnatural. ....................Thick is perfect and beautiful....................... I know that 90% of men would prefer large thick curves over skinny and ribs. ...................Skinny is not a turn on and it is a falsely indoctrinated thing here in the US just to exploit woman and unethiclaly earn bucks at the expense of women's health and happiness....... I wish women would wake up to this fact. ...............Then i know men would follow more and more. Last report i read that eventually as women mature all over the world.....they become thick. IT IS NATURAL. Please EMBRACE IT!0
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You're beautiful and r doing a great job:). But if they make u feel uncomfortable why would you want to be around them for so long and in a boat? If it were me, I would not go. Seems to me they don't deserve the beautiful person that you are.
Ps you look awesome!!! Beautiful !!0 -
You have nothing to worry about - you look great in that swimsuit!0
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You look AMAZING in that black suit and have nothing to feel self-conscious about!!
That being said, I do want to repeat something that has already been said on this thread a couple of times and that's about Lands' End swimsuits. I really wanted to start doing Aquafit last year, but didn't have a suit that fit. My new suit fits me well, flatters my shape, offers some modesty and makes me feel great. Size 22 and all! I've since bought another suit which is a tankini and shorts, and I love that one too. Highly recommended!0 -
There have been some great suggestions here! I like the men's bottoms idea too. Here's an idea... a big, floaty glam maxi dress.. with chunky/funky artsy jewelry... OWN it... pretend you're Maude. LOL. FLOAT into the room! Say words like DAHLING.
Have fun. Survive it as best you can!0 -
OH I just saw the swimsuit pic! You look FABULOUS in it! NO WORRIES!0
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Ok. First, you are beautiful in who you are. Don't ever let anyone take that away from you.
As for the "judgemental" mother.... I know you would like her approval etc... but, what is most important is the relationship you have with your boyfriend and that he loves you, supports you and takes care of you. He could also talk to the JUDGE and tell her to cool it about the talk about heavier people. The workd is made up of many kinds of people. That's one of the things that makes it so interesting. Don't let others make you feel bad about yourself. Just focus on yourself and your relationship... and hopefully in time, the family will see you for the beautiful person you are inside and outside. :happy:
Continue your path to healthier, more fit you and have fun on that trip.0 -
you look amazing in that suit !!!!!!!!! .. i do not think you look overweight at all!!! I can only hope i look that good when i get to my goal weight. If you want to cover your scars a little skirt wrap will do but otherwise dont cover up - you look great!0
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If I was you I would go and if his family said anything rude just say what I say when people are rude or start judging me "THANK YOU FOR TELL ME WHAT AREA OF MY LIFE I NEED TO CHANGE GOD BLESS YOU AND HAVE A BLESSED DAY" Believe their mouths will drop wide open....course in your case just tell them "THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME WHAT AREA IN MY LIFE I NEED TO CHANGE BUT LET ME TELL YOU GOD HAS DONE THAT ALL READY AND HE LOVES E JUST THE WAY HE CREATED ME" try it and see if that does not shut them up....I got this advice from a dear friend and I thought oh it will never work but it did.....Cause honey we are all God's Children and we are all created in his own image.....just say on your way to this trip God is in Control and believe me he is.....God Bless you on this trip if you decide to take it I will sure be praying that everything goes your way sweet...You have a friend here0
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Oh sweety you have nothing to be ashame of your beautiful and you look great in the swim suit if I looked that good in a swim sutie I would be the happyest woman on this earth but I'm not I will hide from my boyfriend so he will not see me what I look like in shorts I wear them at home while his not around and he has told me he loves me just the way I am and his family is very nice to have love me just the way I am as well.....But I still get embarassed with my body that is why I don't have pictures on here.....maybe someday I will get guttsy and post one....So girl be yourself and show them your sexy body....... :flowerforyou:0
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