ANNOYING COWORKER
Sorry but I just have to rant about something!!!!!! I work with a girl that was chubbier than me. She has always battled with her weight her whole life. She has dieted before and lost a lot of weight! Then a little over 1 year ago she had gastric bypass because she said that she couldn't lose the weight on her own fast enough and she was getting married and didn't want to be a fat bride.
Since then she has had the gastric bypass, lost over 150lbs and gotten married. She found out that my co-worker/very good friend and I were using MFP and exercising on our lunches and weighing in on fridays together. Now she says how she is using MFP too because she is too fat and needs to lose more weight (she weighs 150lbs and is 5ft 7inches) and wants the support . She wants to weigh in with us now on fridays and if she could (but our boss wants someone in office at all times) she would exercise with us...
I understand that some people have to have gastric bypass and I am not slamming the fact that people have it done. But what frustrates me is that she didn't do this to be healthier !she did it to be thin for her wedding! A life changing surgery for a wedding! Then has the audacity to tell me that she knows how hard this will be for me because she remembers what it is like to be fat and unhealthy and that she is here for me if I need someone! And says that "thank god that she doesnt have cravings anymore!
She talks crap about overweight people now and I just want to blurt out to her "IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE PART OF YOUR GUTS CUT OUT THEN YOU WOULD STILL BE OVERWEIGHT YOURSELF!" She tends to forget that she would still be fighting the fat if she hadn't had surgery. She makes comments about how she is still so fat and its so hard to lose the rest of that weight!!!! I don't need or want to hear what she says! She acts better than everyone! She even said that she never wants another baby because she is afraid of getting fat!!! This right in front of my friend that just had a baby!!!!!!
Thanks for letting me vent!!!!!!!!!
Since then she has had the gastric bypass, lost over 150lbs and gotten married. She found out that my co-worker/very good friend and I were using MFP and exercising on our lunches and weighing in on fridays together. Now she says how she is using MFP too because she is too fat and needs to lose more weight (she weighs 150lbs and is 5ft 7inches) and wants the support . She wants to weigh in with us now on fridays and if she could (but our boss wants someone in office at all times) she would exercise with us...
I understand that some people have to have gastric bypass and I am not slamming the fact that people have it done. But what frustrates me is that she didn't do this to be healthier !she did it to be thin for her wedding! A life changing surgery for a wedding! Then has the audacity to tell me that she knows how hard this will be for me because she remembers what it is like to be fat and unhealthy and that she is here for me if I need someone! And says that "thank god that she doesnt have cravings anymore!
She talks crap about overweight people now and I just want to blurt out to her "IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE PART OF YOUR GUTS CUT OUT THEN YOU WOULD STILL BE OVERWEIGHT YOURSELF!" She tends to forget that she would still be fighting the fat if she hadn't had surgery. She makes comments about how she is still so fat and its so hard to lose the rest of that weight!!!! I don't need or want to hear what she says! She acts better than everyone! She even said that she never wants another baby because she is afraid of getting fat!!! This right in front of my friend that just had a baby!!!!!!
Thanks for letting me vent!!!!!!!!!
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Replies
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Some people are so ignorant... Kill 'em with kindness girl!!0
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Wow!
Ya know, I think that is her defense mechanism. Maybe she is jealous that you two are working together and have a support system for losing weight in a healthy way without drugs or surgery.
I totally see your frustration. That sucks
i DO NOT tell my co-workers I am working out or eating better because every time I do they buy me milkshakes and order pizza and try to sabotage what I am doing. I'd probably pretend like you are not trying anymore (fell off the wagon after the New Year's Resolution wore off lol) and just let her notice you losing weight. When she notices and says something...say, oh really? LOL
That is what I would do. I've lost 5lbs so far and nobody even knows I am dieting/working out.0 -
You should not be annoyed by her, but pity her. She lost her weight, but has still found out that only real lifestyle changes keep weight off! You are working very hard to make the real lifestyle changes. She is trying to make herself feel better at others' expenses, which really never works! You take pride in your hardwork, which can never be taken away or replaced by something else! You are making changes from the inside out that will make you a better and stronger person, physically and mentally. Kudos to you! Keep it up and don't let her bog you down!0
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Some people are so ignorant... Kill 'em with kindness girl!!
I second that!!! You CAN and WILL do it!!!0 -
Well She does understand how it is to be overweight. Sounds like she just wants to be your friend. She did have a major surgery and most likely even though she said she didn't want to be a fat bride, she also struggled with it her whole life and just didn't want to be fat anymore. Tell her how you feel, nicely, but be empathetic to her as well.
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Fat or not she's just not a happy person. Most woman would gain the weight all over again for their kids. She's just self absorbed.
Take a deep breath, stress is not good for the body!0 -
I once had to deal with an annoying coworker. She was a big girl to start with, then had lost a ton of weight (we were all very proud, don't get me wrong) then she got a boob job and other plastic surgery to "top off her new look." At the end of her amazing journey, she could have used that as inspiration to others, but instead would judge others for being overweight. She'd walk into the lunchroom and say things like "eating like that is what makes you fat." To whomever was eating whatever. We had a new employee who was naturally stick thin and she walked right up to her and said, "I hate you new girl. You're thin." and walked away. Occasionally our boss or customers would bring in donuts or bagels, and a few times she would walk in and throw it away. She said that it wasn't fair because that was her weakness, it just can't be here. The rest of us were often offended by her behavior. Her physical transformation was amazing and inspiring, but her personality transformation was ugly. It was like a little kid who gets bullied, then grows up to be the bully.0
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No worries that she'll see this post, as she using MFP now, too? Maybe if she reads it & sees how you really feel she'll back off.0
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Wow!
Ya know, I think that is her defense mechanism. Maybe she is jealous that you two are working together and have a support system for losing weight in a healthy way without drugs or surgery.
I totally see your frustration. That sucks
i DO NOT tell my co-workers I am working out or eating better because every time I do they buy me milkshakes and order pizza and try to sabotage what I am doing. I'd probably pretend like you are not trying anymore (fell off the wagon after the New Year's Resolution wore off lol) and just let her notice you losing weight. When she notices and says something...say, oh really? LOL
That is what I would do. I've lost 5lbs so far and nobody even knows I am dieting/working out.
God, I am with you there. My office is a treat haven. And God love my coworkers, they always say "well, you've lost so much already, what's the difference?" AHHHH!0 -
:grumble: No worries! She only uses it on her IPhone and has no interest in using the website at all. She hardly uses the App for her phone as it is! Just when she sees us looking then she makes a comment about how she needs to fill in her food diary!0
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Thanks for all the comments. Really gives me something to think about! Almost makes me feel sorry for her!:huh:0
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No worries that she'll see this post, as she using MFP now, too? Maybe if she reads it & sees how you really feel she'll back off.
That was exactly what I was thinking! lol0 -
I think the people that appreciate it the most are the ones that work for it. Like anything in life, like how people who work hard for money are more appreciative and do better with it then the ones who have it given to them.
So in a sense, I think that she didnt have to really WORK for it, so she probably doesnt appreciate it, and when you get there, you will have worked hard, and you will be 100x more appreciative and love yourself more then she ever will.
I know what you mean about the surgery, I think its great in a sense that people do lose weight and they have less health problems blah blah blah, so im definately not knocking that, and im sure a lot of them DO appreciate it..
I have a relative who got it, and i know what you mean about the annoyingpart. all she talks about everytime she visits is how little she can eat and food food food like its still an obsession and literally thats ALL i hear about oh i can only eat this little oh blah blah blah blah and acts almost superior because shes lost 100+lbs and acts like she has all the answers on dieting, weight loss, all that, when other relatives are strugling to do it on their own!0 -
I think the people that appreciate it the most are the ones that work for it. Like anything in life, like how people who work hard for money are more appreciative and do better with it then the ones who have it given to them.
AMEN!0 -
I really think that the whole weight-loss vs life-style change is where the true transformation takes place. If you are in it just for the weight loss you don't change what made you fat to begin with. You don't deal with the emotions, problems.. etc.. When you make a lifestyle change you change what was wrong to make you fat in the first place. You are able to be an inspiration, a role-model and you can have heart for others fat or thin! I think those that get angry, pass judgment are only that way because they see in others what they wish they had or their own faults. But they won't deal with it..
Hope I made since.. just my opinion! 0 -
I once had to deal with an annoying coworker. She was a big girl to start with, then had lost a ton of weight (we were all very proud, don't get me wrong) then she got a boob job and other plastic surgery to "top off her new look." At the end of her amazing journey, she could have used that as inspiration to others, but instead would judge others for being overweight. She'd walk into the lunchroom and say things like "eating like that is what makes you fat." To whomever was eating whatever. We had a new employee who was naturally stick thin and she walked right up to her and said, "I hate you new girl. You're thin." and walked away. Occasionally our boss or customers would bring in donuts or bagels, and a few times she would walk in and throw it away. She said that it wasn't fair because that was her weakness, it just can't be here. The rest of us were often offended by her behavior. Her physical transformation was amazing and inspiring, but her personality transformation was ugly. It was like a little kid who gets bullied, then grows up to be the bully.
LOL this made me laugh so hard I almost forgot what the original post was about!!!! :laugh:
SD just keep working hard & doing it the right way b/c once you at your ideal weight you can educate her on how it's done the correct way!!! Keep your focus & let her keep on chatting!!! You'll be fine & are doing GREAT!!!! :flowerforyou:0 -
I understand what you are saying and I know I would be very annoyed as well.
That said, try to be compassionate to her. She probably feels bad about herself deep down and it's hard to see other people be successful at something you feel you failed at. Even though she lost the weight, she probably does feel like she "cheated" in a way. I think I might feel that way. Usually people who act like they are "better" act like that because they are trying to make themselves FEEL better. Lots of people pretend to be happy. They pretend.
It's SO hard struggling with the weigh issue and there are times I have felt "desperate". I would never have surgery if I didn't feel like it was truly medically necessary, just because you are risking your life, however small the risk it might be. YOU are doing great...going at things the healthy way!
If she is driving you crazy, and some people do, avoid her if you can. If she is approachable, talk to her in a kind way about how the comments she makes, make you feel, and can be a turn off to others. Above all though, don't be condesending back, (even though you may be very tempted to!). Know you are doing the right things and feel good about it. Encourage her to be healthy. Be kind to her. She may be really hurting inside. If she drives you guys crazy...she probably does the same to others. She may not have many friends.
We are SO much more than our bodies. We need to focus on being HEALTHY spiritually AND physically. So many people in this world feel they have little or no value if they don't look "perfect". That is so sad. Our bodies will all get old and wear out, but while our outer bodies are decaying, we should be renewing our interbodies. Something we all need to remember.
YOU are beautiful. Show her kindness.
-Susan0 -
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I was eating lunch in the office today and someone walked up, looked at my dish and said " Hey, are you STILL doing that eat healthy thing??"
Like eating healthy is a nasty habit! I swear she said it like I was smoking a cigarette in the lunch room.
I just looked at her............I mean I was having brocolli, my homemade meatsauce (1/2 cup) and 1 manicotti...........not exactly on the health food registry.
Whew...........didnt even know that bothered me! Thanks for letting ME vent :laugh:0 -
I had a friend who had gastric bypass. She lost incredible amounts of weight. I'll say it, she looks good. At a recent party, I said something about wanting to get back to logging my foods (this was after a 6 month or so hiatus and about a 20 lb gain).
She looked at me, and said...... "all you have to do is watch what you stick in your mouth"
Excuse me? I've lost weight doing it the slow hard way... You went and had surgery.... And you have the nerve to tell me that all I have to do is watch what I stick in my mouth????? If it was that damn easy, what did you have the surgery for?????
Sheesh!0 -
Wow!
Ya know, I think that is her defense mechanism. Maybe she is jealous that you two are working together and have a support system for losing weight in a healthy way without drugs or surgery.
I totally see your frustration. That sucks
i DO NOT tell my co-workers I am working out or eating better because every time I do they buy me milkshakes and order pizza and try to sabotage what I am doing. I'd probably pretend like you are not trying anymore (fell off the wagon after the New Year's Resolution wore off lol) and just let her notice you losing weight. When she notices and says something...say, oh really? LOL
That is what I would do. I've lost 5lbs so far and nobody even knows I am dieting/working out.
SMART GIRL!!! I did the same thing at my last job. I already had a "bad reputation" for being a healthy eater cuz I avoided all the fattening donuts & candy & crap that people were stuffing their faces with every day. I got teased about eating broccoli etc. !!
I kept quiet about my diet & exercise routine. Nobody said anything until I was 30 pounds down and then a few noticed and asked what I was doing.
So you GO Girls..... Hang in there with the Negative Nellies! It's a tough crowd........ :grumble: :explode: :bigsmile: :flowerforyou:0 -
Hey,
I also stayed quiet about my lifestyle change and no one ever knew anything until I had lost 95 pounds and changed my clothes from really big ones to those that fit better. I did not want to deal with the comments and the looks and also if I messed up someone ragging me. They still run their mouths now but I have learned to ignore them and continue the journey that I started long ago. True lifestyle change is learning to address the issues that caused the weight gain and then learning to deal with those that want to undermind you and your success. I do know it can be frustrating and she sounds like she is looking for acceptence from you and she is going about it the wrong way so maybe you can talk with her and share some neutral ground so she feels like she is not alone. Then maybe you can talk to her about how she makes you and others feel by the way she acts and the things she says that causes stress. She truly does sound lonely and not real secure with her life as it is now. I can tell you from personal experience that when she looks in the mirror the imagine she sees is still a large over weight person and that is truly the image that she does see. I still do and have never been able to get that image to go away; not real sure if I will ever see what others see but working on it. Though I did all mine the hard old fashion way diet and exercise some people do need help and if they choose surgery then that is their choice because we all have the power of choice. Try to focus on your journey and what you feel you need and let the rest go so you do not get bogged down in other's issues. God Bless, Brenda0 -
Brenda: No one noticed or said anything until you lost 95 lbs.??
Woweeeee...... some people really have their heads in the sand!
Good advice for her situation..... the voice of experience!!
:flowerforyou:
After my 30 lb. loss, only a couple people had anything nice to say.
Most only made really stooopid comments cuz they didn't want to deal with their own weight issues.
BRAVO to everybody WORKING IT!!! :drinker:
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I give advice on dieting and I had the surgery. I don't see anything wrong with that. With the surgery I learned how to eat successful and live a healthy lifestyle. I would never act like I am hot **** because I am not. I got into this mess myself and am just getting out. I read dozens of books, hundreds of articles, been to so many doctors....I know a great deal about eating right.
Just because someone has the surgery doesn't mean they cant give good advice to people. I had the surgery because I had no self control......like most overweight people. The surgery forced me to have self control in the beginning and it taught me so much. It was a blessing.0 -
I give advice on dieting and I had the surgery. I don't see anything wrong with that. With the surgery I learned how to eat successful and live a healthy lifestyle. I would never act like I am hot **** because I am not. I got into this mess myself and am just getting out. I read dozens of books, hundreds of articles, been to so many doctors....I know a great deal about eating right.
Just because someone has the surgery doesn't mean they cant give good advice to people. I had the surgery because I had no self control......like most overweight people. The surgery forced me to have self control in the beginning and it taught me so much. It was a blessing.
The person who was giving me advice didn't change her eating habits though. She still eats doritos dipped in salsa AND sour cream. She eats hot dogs going out of style. Telling me to watch what I put in my mouth was not about her giving me good advice. I know more about healthy eating than she does!0 -
Then has the audacity to tell me that she knows how hard this will be for me because she remembers what it is like to be fat and unhealthy and that she is here for me if I need someone! And says that "thank god that she doesnt have cravings anymore!
She talks crap about overweight people now and I just want to blurt out to her "IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE PART OF YOUR GUTS CUT OUT THEN YOU WOULD STILL BE OVERWEIGHT YOURSELF!" She tends to forget that she would still be fighting the fat if she hadn't had surgery. She makes comments about how she is still so fat and its so hard to lose the rest of that weight!!!! I don't need or want to hear what she says! She acts better than everyone! She even said that she never wants another baby because she is afraid of getting fat!!! This right in front of my friend that just had a baby!!!!!!
Thanks for letting me vent!!!!!!!!!0 -
Then has the audacity to tell me that she knows how hard this will be for me because she remembers what it is like to be fat and unhealthy and that she is here for me if I need someone! And says that "thank god that she doesnt have cravings anymore!
She talks crap about overweight people now and I just want to blurt out to her "IF YOU DIDN'T HAVE PART OF YOUR GUTS CUT OUT THEN YOU WOULD STILL BE OVERWEIGHT YOURSELF!" She tends to forget that she would still be fighting the fat if she hadn't had surgery. She makes comments about how she is still so fat and its so hard to lose the rest of that weight!!!! I don't need or want to hear what she says! She acts better than everyone! She even said that she never wants another baby because she is afraid of getting fat!!! This right in front of my friend that just had a baby!!!!!!
Thanks for letting me vent!!!!!!!!!
oops! sorry about the last post, still new to posting. Anyhoo...
Take heart! What comes around goes around! I, too had gastric bypass. Mine was 3 years ago. Trust me, the first year is the easy one. No, you don't have cravings, or at least I didn't becasue every time I ate more than 10 grams of sugar I got deathly ill...Kills that craving very effectively when you know you are going to get sweaty and shakey and feel like a friggin Mac Truck hit you. But it goes away! About 1 to 1.5 years later the cravings come back, you start feeling hungry again and most people start to gain the weight back. And then...if we are smart...we end up on something like MFP and wake up and smell the lifestyle change! The advantage is that half of our gut is still gone, so if we mind our P's and Q's we will lose faster. I am currently in a "biggest loser" type contest with a gril at work and I have to lose 1.5% faster to win, just to keep it fair. Look at this girl a year from now, I bet she isn't quite so smug then...in the meantime, take heart...she may be thinner than you right now, but she is definately more miserable.0 -
I give advice on dieting and I had the surgery. I don't see anything wrong with that. With the surgery I learned how to eat successful and live a healthy lifestyle. I would never act like I am hot **** because I am not. I got into this mess myself and am just getting out. I read dozens of books, hundreds of articles, been to so many doctors....I know a great deal about eating right.
Just because someone has the surgery doesn't mean they cant give good advice to people. I had the surgery because I had no self control......like most overweight people. The surgery forced me to have self control in the beginning and it taught me so much. It was a blessing.
The person who was giving me advice didn't change her eating habits though. She still eats doritos dipped in salsa AND sour cream. She eats hot dogs going out of style. Telling me to watch what I put in my mouth was not about her giving me good advice. I know more about healthy eating than she does!
yeah, if you don't really change your lifestyle after they surgery......then you will gain the weight back. I'm no angel on the weekends, but 5 days a week I do pretty good with my diet.0
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