Gaining it back

derposaurus
derposaurus Posts: 53 Member
in Motivation and Support
I'm really needing some support/people to relate to on the matter of gaining back the weight you've lost.

From July 2011 to November 2011 I lost 75 pounds. It was awesome.

Between December 2011 and February 2012 I plateau'd . Then came March 2012 where I have basically given up and now today in August I've gained back 40 pounds of what I lost. That's more than half. It feels terrible.

I'm scared I'll get back up to my highest weight again and at this rate it will happen.

When I say I gave up in March, I didn't REALLY give up on dieting. I still try to start fresh on dieting all the time. It's just now I mess up like 5/7 days out of the week and binge, and maybe have 2 days with a calorie deficit. Overall though, it's caused major weight gain.

I am unmotivated and stuck in a rut and it's really quite embarrassing becoming heavy again.

Replies

  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12

    Try it.

    Sounds like the reason you slip is because of over-restriction, and the above method is much more sustainable.
  • derposaurus
    derposaurus Posts: 53 Member
    I appreciate you sharing the method. I know I need to be more moderate. I've struggled with eating disorders since I was a child. Starvation, purging, binging, compulsive eating. I only know how to either not eat, or eat like the world is ending. I know I need to put the effort into something healthy and sustainable like what you've shared.

    I just feel so... blah. unmotivated. I just figured I need to TALK About this too and find people who can hopefully relate so I thought I'd try here.
  • wheelinqueen
    wheelinqueen Posts: 60 Member
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12

    Try it.

    Sounds like the reason you slip is because of over-restriction, and the above method is much more sustainable.
    ^^What He said. I just fixed my caloric intake using this thread and I feel much better about it! I don't feel like I'm starving on the 1200 and now I'm at 1700 a day. Much easier to abide by.
  • lisanorman6
    lisanorman6 Posts: 47 Member
    First of all, well done you that you are able to recognize the pattern and are in a mental place to do something about it. That, my dear, is to be congratulated.

    People can sit here all day long and tell you what to do, what or what not to eat, how to exercise, etc. I'm here just to share with you what has and is working for me. To begin with, I had to throw the "diet" notion right out the window. For me, this is truly a lifestyle change. This doesn't just impact what I eat, but why. I've had to completely change my relationship with food. Seriously, let me say that one more time - I had to change my RELATIONSHIP with food. This journey has impacted more than just what I put in my mouth and how I achieve fitness goals. Changing my relationship with food has brought up some scary emotions as I've dug deeper into what compells me to behave in particular ways.

    The above poster recommended reading In Place Of A Road Map and I would ditto that. It helped me to establish a healthy level of calories that kept me feeling full and not like I was punishing myself. For me, cutting something completely out of my diet isn't always realistic. Take sweets for example. I love them. I love them too much. In my daily planning (which I suggest you try to at least plot out what you're going to eat for the day), I allow for dessert. I've found that if I cut out sugar, it leaves me feeling deprived and then I binge on it later. It's all about the portion control and staying within your calories. You can have the stuff you love, just do in moderation. I will say about the IPOARM, my calorie intake was initally too high and I stalled in weight loss. I have since adjusted and cut 140 calories...guess what, I started losing!

    Give yourself grace. Remember that each day is new. If you totally blow it one day, start again the next. This is about progress, not perfection. Your worth and value are not tied to the number you see on a scale. You have purpose and meaning - don't lose sight of that as you feel discouraged. Yeah, you gained weight back. Were there things that you could have done to prevent that? Sure, but coulda-woulda-shoulda. Pick yourself up, start with one or two healthy choices and build from there.

    Finally (yes, I'm close to getting off my soapbox), surround yourself with people who will not only encourage you, but keep you accountable. You're not alone in this, even if your best support is from the cyber-world. MFP is a fantastic tool to keep track of your patterns, evaluate any hiccups and move on. I encourage you to do just that: move on. You can totally do this! Don't think of the weight gain as a failure, it's just a chapter of your story. Rewrite the ending sister. :)
  • ChristyRunStarr
    ChristyRunStarr Posts: 1,600 Member
    I'm sorry you're having such a tough time...but remember, you can get through it. Instead of looking at it as having gained back over half of what you lost, look at it as you still lost 30 pounds and you're not starting from where you did before. You can get back into it, it just might take time.

    Don't beat yourself up too much, you're human, it happens. Take it one day at a time. What motivated you the first time? We all can relate on one level at one time or another during this. try small goals, not huge ones. More fruit each day, more water, walk an extra X amount of minutes, something like that. Do something that's exercise but doesn't seem it like dancing or if you have a Wii, a game from that. Before you know it, I think you'll find your motivation again.
  • cblevitron
    cblevitron Posts: 243
    I appreciate you sharing the method. I know I need to be more moderate. I've struggled with eating disorders since I was a child. Starvation, purging, binging, compulsive eating. I only know how to either not eat, or eat like the world is ending. I know I need to put the effort into something healthy and sustainable like what you've shared.

    I just feel so... blah. unmotivated. I just figured I need to TALK About this too and find people who can hopefully relate so I thought I'd try here.

    I'm exactly the same way. I don't really have advice, but am willing to offer support. :)
  • fitbiadi
    fitbiadi Posts: 2 Member
    I agree it sounds like you have put to much into trying to stay under your recommended daily caloric intake, are you doing any sort of exercise to help your metabolism regulate itself? if not, then I recommend that you start to do that since you can't maintain a healthy body weight just from food modification alone, start slow 2-3 days/week for a minimum of 30 minutes:smile:
  • ironanimal
    ironanimal Posts: 5,922 Member
    I appreciate you sharing the method. I know I need to be more moderate. I've struggled with eating disorders since I was a child. Starvation, purging, binging, compulsive eating. I only know how to either not eat, or eat like the world is ending. I know I need to put the effort into something healthy and sustainable like what you've shared.

    I just feel so... blah. unmotivated. I just figured I need to TALK About this too and find people who can hopefully relate so I thought I'd try here.
    Work out what's in that thread, ask any questions if you get stuck. Having a plan is probably helpful, right? I'll happily answer any questions you may have, and the author, Helloitsdan, I'm sure will too as he's probably one of the most helpful people here. A lot of people with EDs here aren't in recovery of any kind, so be careful of who you're talking to if you find others triggering.
  • moxette
    moxette Posts: 104 Member
    Best book EVER Mariann Williamsons "A course on weight loss" I read it years after coming to terms with emotional eating and still cried my eyes out with sadness and happiness at having found it. It helped me realize that I wasn't a bad person when I "was bad" I just didn't know how much I was screwing with myself when trying to adhere to a lifestyle that wouldn't stick. Good luck, you deserve it!
  • derposaurus
    derposaurus Posts: 53 Member
    First of all, well done you that you are able to recognize the pattern and are in a mental place to do something about it. That, my dear, is to be congratulated.

    People can sit here all day long and tell you what to do, what or what not to eat, how to exercise, etc. I'm here just to share with you what has and is working for me. To begin with, I had to throw the "diet" notion right out the window. For me, this is truly a lifestyle change. This doesn't just impact what I eat, but why. I've had to completely change my relationship with food. Seriously, let me say that one more time - I had to change my RELATIONSHIP with food. This journey has impacted more than just what I put in my mouth and how I achieve fitness goals. Changing my relationship with food has brought up some scary emotions as I've dug deeper into what compells me to behave in particular ways.

    The above poster recommended reading In Place Of A Road Map and I would ditto that. It helped me to establish a healthy level of calories that kept me feeling full and not like I was punishing myself. For me, cutting something completely out of my diet isn't always realistic. Take sweets for example. I love them. I love them too much. In my daily planning (which I suggest you try to at least plot out what you're going to eat for the day), I allow for dessert. I've found that if I cut out sugar, it leaves me feeling deprived and then I binge on it later. It's all about the portion control and staying within your calories. You can have the stuff you love, just do in moderation. I will say about the IPOARM, my calorie intake was initally too high and I stalled in weight loss. I have since adjusted and cut 140 calories...guess what, I started losing!

    Give yourself grace. Remember that each day is new. If you totally blow it one day, start again the next. This is about progress, not perfection. Your worth and value are not tied to the number you see on a scale. You have purpose and meaning - don't lose sight of that as you feel discouraged. Yeah, you gained weight back. Were there things that you could have done to prevent that? Sure, but coulda-woulda-shoulda. Pick yourself up, start with one or two healthy choices and build from there.

    Finally (yes, I'm close to getting off my soapbox), surround yourself with people who will not only encourage you, but keep you accountable. You're not alone in this, even if your best support is from the cyber-world. MFP is a fantastic tool to keep track of your patterns, evaluate any hiccups and move on. I encourage you to do just that: move on. You can totally do this! Don't think of the weight gain as a failure, it's just a chapter of your story. Rewrite the ending sister. :)

    Thank you. Thank you. This really made me smile. I am definitely at that turning point of it really hitting me that I need to change yes, my RELATIONSHIP with food. Because it is FAR from healthy. I see the way other people in life eat and regard food and for me... I am WAY off. Thank you for relating and understanding that it's more than just the method I'm looking for support with but just kind of the mental anguish too. I have starved myself and gained back weight since I was a child. This is just the first time I gained SO much and then LOST so much... only to start gaining again. It's been almost 10 years of me doing this, and now I think that maybe my way isn't working. No more extremes. It's so frustrating to fight that off but. Ah. I need to try something more reasonable. Thank you for encouraging me to keep going. That's one thing I am trying to remember. Because when I said "**** it I'm not trying anymore" well, that's how I ended up 75 pounds overweight. I keep trying to weight myself and re-starting the days new. It's good that I keep trying but I need to change my method.

    Thank you for your kind message
  • derposaurus
    derposaurus Posts: 53 Member
    I appreciate you sharing the method. I know I need to be more moderate. I've struggled with eating disorders since I was a child. Starvation, purging, binging, compulsive eating. I only know how to either not eat, or eat like the world is ending. I know I need to put the effort into something healthy and sustainable like what you've shared.

    I just feel so... blah. unmotivated. I just figured I need to TALK About this too and find people who can hopefully relate so I thought I'd try here.
    Work out what's in that thread, ask any questions if you get stuck. Having a plan is probably helpful, right? I'll happily answer any questions you may have, and the author, Helloitsdan, I'm sure will too as he's probably one of the most helpful people here. A lot of people with EDs here aren't in recovery of any kind, so be careful of who you're talking to if you find others triggering.

    Thank you thank you. I'm going to get my hands on some measuring tape tomorrow and calculate all that stuff. Thank you for offering to help because I probably will need it. I appreciate the warning about the other people around here too... I may have one or two on my friends list still but I've friended a lot of people in recovery too because it helps. It's a weird place to be in trying to figure out how to eat "normal" and "healthy" but I've got to do it sooner or later. I'm only 21 years old I have a lot of years ahead of me if I want them and I won't have them if I keep living life the way I have been.
  • derposaurus
    derposaurus Posts: 53 Member
    I'm sorry you're having such a tough time...but remember, you can get through it. Instead of looking at it as having gained back over half of what you lost, look at it as you still lost 30 pounds and you're not starting from where you did before. You can get back into it, it just might take time.

    Don't beat yourself up too much, you're human, it happens. Take it one day at a time. What motivated you the first time? We all can relate on one level at one time or another during this. try small goals, not huge ones. More fruit each day, more water, walk an extra X amount of minutes, something like that. Do something that's exercise but doesn't seem it like dancing or if you have a Wii, a game from that. Before you know it, I think you'll find your motivation again.

    Ha! Thank you. You see, I used to tell myself as I was gaining "It's okay! you've gained some back but overall you've still lost ___ pounds so it's fine. you're good! you'll get back on track". Then after I got to over the halfway point, I figured that point was still moot. Thank you for reminding me it's not. Yes I still do have a leg up considering where I started. Honestly what motivated me the last time was just... being fat. I had told myself if I ever reached ___ lbs (i had a certain number, but I dont like to share my weight. yes even on the internet on a weight loss forum lol) then I would start starving myself again. I only weighed myself every few months but when I saw that number, I started dieting a few days later. So really the motivation was... being fat. I wanted to not be fat. Really not much more to it. I still don't want to be fat but I really can't see myself getting back up to the weight I was before. It's almost as bad right now though so it doesn't feel great.

    I think the big thing for me this time around is to take your advice of taking it one day at a time. It's so hard to do. So hard to do especially when I tell myself "you need to lose ___ lbs by next month" so I'm never looking at it one day at a time but as I said in a previous reply... clearly my way of doing things isn't working. and clearly all these things I've heard people around me saying for years is probably something worth actually TRYING for a change
  • DaysFlyBy
    DaysFlyBy Posts: 243 Member
    I felt like that all this summer and was doing just as badly with the bingeing and skyrocketing over goal and zero motivation. I had already done a metabolic refeed/reset so my calorie goal was appropriate, but even at 1700 cal/day I was so hungry all the time which made me miserable and chronically *****y, and then I'd binge and feel worse. I started reading about intermittent fasting and while it goes against everything everyone drills into your head in the diet world, it has been a GODSEND for me. I do a 16/8 split and I'm soooooo so so much happier eating this way. The bingeing stopped, my energy and my mood is up, I am once again interested in exercise and I'm poised to buy a set of workout DVDs I'm super excited to get working on. I think you have to trial-and-error things a bit until you find what is do-able and enjoyable for you because if what you're doing is making you unhappy or bored you won't stick with it. :)

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