Frustrated - any ideas???

fionaad
fionaad Posts: 16 Member
edited 12:52AM in Health and Weight Loss
Hi all, This is the very first time I have posted on a forum and I'm doing so out of frustration - with the hope that someone might have an answer that can help me.

I am struggling to lose any weight at all - have about 5kgs to lose. I get plenty of exercise (weights twice a week, cycle 2-3 times a week and walk/jog 2-3 times a week). I generally stick to a very good diet for about 5-7 days but then somehow I always seem to blow it. Usually not in what seems to be a huge way, but enough that I don't lose any weight.
I've been losing and gaining the same 2 kgs for 6 months or more!

I'm about 5'6" and weigh 65kgs (143 pounds). For the last 10 days, my total calorie intake has been an average of around 1350 cals (varies between 1150 and 1650) and my net calorie intake has been an average of around 850. But then of course tonight I blew it. Tired, grumpy, unmotivated and chocolate was available. :grumble:

I feel like I'm putting in heaps of effort (fitting in exercise almost every day, cooking separate meals, while also dealing with a business, kids, housework etc) but yet, I'm getting nowhere.

Do I need to toughen up and get more disciplined, or is there an easier way?!
I feel like I've done some tough things in life but this is doing my head in!!!!
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Replies

  • GauchoMark
    GauchoMark Posts: 1,804 Member
    first, you might want to open your diary so people can help.

    I think it sounds like you are trying to do a nutrition/exercise plan that isn't sustainable for you. If you are more moderate, it is easier to stick to and the weight will stay off better. It just takes more time to lose. It sounds like you are not eating NEARLY enough. This is probably why you can only stay on your diet for 5 days at a time before you blow it. It is your body trying to survive!

    Your bmr is 1413 calories per day. You are not all that overweight, so I would suggest not ever NETTING less than that (recalculate it as you continue to lose though). If you use a sedentary activity factor, your TDEE is 1695 cal/day. Of course, you exercise, so it is my preference to use the sedentary factor and then just log your activities. Choose a moderate deficit (250-500 calories/day) and stick to the plan.

    In other words, if I were you, I would make sure you net 1413/day and if you exercise that day, you can eat a little more, but maintain your calorie deficit.
  • grubb1019
    grubb1019 Posts: 371 Member
    I am wondering if you are getting enough calories? You exercise a lot and a net of 850 is not enough. You should net at least 1200. I'm also wondering if you actually need to loose weight, or is it that you just need toning? I am 5 ft 5 and my goal is 145. You need to measure yourself and go by that more than what the scale is showing. Good luck!
  • MissMormie
    MissMormie Posts: 359 Member
    I'm not surprised you're losing the same 2 kgs over and over again.

    You're teaching your body to survive on 850-900 calories a day. And as soon as it's learned that you're giving it hundreds of extra calories. And what does your body think? "Ow great extra calories, lets save that!". You're much better off eating 1600 net calories every day, instead of doing it this way.
  • Sayoh
    Sayoh Posts: 26 Member
    Ironically, you are my height and goal weight! This should mean u have a veeeeery healthy BMI
    I suggest you work on toning as well and pls eat more dear-starvation mode might be responsible for your plateau
  • sorrelduncan
    sorrelduncan Posts: 69 Member
    You're def not eating enough. Set your activity level to active or very active, which you are!!! Loss to 1/2 lb per week. If you give your body the cals it needs you won't blow it every few days.
  • nellyett
    nellyett Posts: 436 Member
    We are around the same height and weight and I had experienced a crazy plateau not too long ago as well....I couldn't figure out why I wasn't losing any more when I was only netting about 800 cals per day!

    I started calculating my TDEE, figured I should be NETTING way more than I was, but was terrified to up my calories. In order to be sure that I was logging the correct amount of exercise calories I have purchased a HRM. MFP and my run app were over estimating. :( Not by much, but if I'm eating back my cals, I want to make sure I'm not overdoing it.

    I've spent a few hours researching what I should be eating to lose weight and according to several different ways to calculate, I should be NETTING around 1430 per day.

    I've always been one of those people who wants instant results, but have been telling myself to relax and trust the science and the process. I've been happy to say that the scale has started to move again! Slowly but surely! I keep telling myself that if I'd only started this from the beginning, i'd be at my goal weight already. :)

    Good luck!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    eat more
  • erickirb
    erickirb Posts: 12,294 Member
    With the amount you have to lose, set your goal to lose 0.5lbs/week and eat back the cals burned from exercise. This should have you in the 1500 Net cals/day range. The less you have to lose the smaller your deficit should be.
  • J_Fabulous
    J_Fabulous Posts: 63 Member
    I agree with the folks here. 1) your body is storing calories because it is in starvation mode. I'd recommend total calorie intake of 1200. 2) exercise is great but the weights add muscle which weighs more than fat 3) focus on eating less carbs and more protein/veggies.
  • areufnkiddingme
    areufnkiddingme Posts: 99 Member
    Also, please keep in mind that not all bodies are created equally... at 5'6" and 145 lbs you may not need to lose the extra weight, and so your body is fighting you about it- especially with yo-yo eating and a calorie deficit that is too large. You may, instead, be looking for more definition- try adding some weight sets and core exercises, and I'll bet you're in the size 6 in no time.
  • GauchoMark
    GauchoMark Posts: 1,804 Member
    I agree with the folks here. 1) your body is storing calories because it is in starvation mode. I'd recommend total calorie intake of 1200. 2) exercise is great but the weights add muscle which weighs more than fat 3) focus on eating less carbs and more protein/veggies.
    total calorie intake of 1200.
    I hope that was a misprint. NET should be kept over 1413 for her. With the amount of exercise she is doing, I would expect a TOTAL of around 1900-2100/day.
    muscle which weighs more than fat
    oh no... =]
  • fionaad
    fionaad Posts: 16 Member
    Thanks everyone for your advice. I kind of suspected that I might not be getting enough cals but I am extremely nervous about deliberately increasing them. Is there a good way to do this so that my body doesn't hang onto them? (Ie should I jump up to about 1400 Net immediately or is it better to creep up slowly?) I really have a hard time believing that this will help my loose weight but I guess I'm willing to give it a go as what I'm currently doing isn't working!

    Also, if I'm aiming to Net 1400 calories, from a weight-loss point of view, is it better to eat say 1800 cals and then exercise 400? Or cut down/out the exercise and just eat 1400 cals? (I'm know exercise is important for general health, but I'm fairly fit and wondering if there is a view on it from a weight-loss perspective.)
  • fionaad
    fionaad Posts: 16 Member
    first, you might want to open your diary so people can help.

    I think it sounds like you are trying to do a nutrition/exercise plan that isn't sustainable for you. If you are more moderate, it is easier to stick to and the weight will stay off better. It just takes more time to lose. It sounds like you are not eating NEARLY enough. This is probably why you can only stay on your diet for 5 days at a time before you blow it. It is your body trying to survive!

    Your bmr is 1413 calories per day. You are not all that overweight, so I would suggest not ever NETTING less than that (recalculate it as you continue to lose though). If you use a sedentary activity factor, your TDEE is 1695 cal/day. Of course, you exercise, so it is my preference to use the sedentary factor and then just log your activities. Choose a moderate deficit (250-500 calories/day) and stick to the plan.

    In other words, if I were you, I would make sure you net 1413/day and if you exercise that day, you can eat a little more, but maintain your calorie deficit.

    Thanks heaps. I've now opened up my diary so that anyone can take a look.
    With calculating the calories required, I've got quite a low heart rate (mainly genetically) and so I'm concerned that both my basal calories are lower and also that my exercise cals are lower. (My resting bpm is about 45 and if I'm walking its around 85.) Do you think this would affect the number of cals I should aim for?
  • fionaad
    fionaad Posts: 16 Member
    I am wondering if you are getting enough calories? You exercise a lot and a net of 850 is not enough. You should net at least 1200. I'm also wondering if you actually need to loose weight, or is it that you just need toning? I am 5 ft 5 and my goal is 145. You need to measure yourself and go by that more than what the scale is showing. Good luck!
    It's true I don't have heaps to lose but definitely a few kilos (I can grab handfuls of fat on my hips and tummy!) Weights are helping me tone and I'm getting some definition on my arms and back, but quite a lot of fat down below!!
  • cklb
    cklb Posts: 6 Member
    That is what I was thinking, don't sound like she needs to lose any because with all her exercising, there will be bulk. Muscle weighs more than fat...Maybe learn to like herself?
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    With that little to lose I'd recommend setting your goal for a 1/2 lb loss per week and being SUPER diligent about calculating your food... weigh and measure everything and record every bite. But the extra calories you'll be "allowed" will help you to feel less deprived.

    I know everyone is different, but at 5'7" and 163 lbs I can lose a pound a week eating net 1700-1800 every day. You are smaller, so you'll need less, but not THAT much less. I don't know who could survive on that and not feel like binging.
  • michellekicks
    michellekicks Posts: 3,624 Member
    With calculating the calories required, I've got quite a low heart rate (mainly genetically) and so I'm concerned that both my basal calories are lower and also that my exercise cals are lower. (My resting bpm is about 45 and if I'm walking its around 85.) Do you think this would affect the number of cals I should aim for?

    I don't think that has a huge effect. My RHR is 47 and when I was out walking with my husband the other night I had a hard time getting my HR over 100. It could be that you need to do more higher intensity exercise... I know as soon as I start running my HR gets up in the 150s pretty quick.
  • RobynMWilson
    RobynMWilson Posts: 1,540 Member
    first, you might want to open your diary so people can help.

    I think it sounds like you are trying to do a nutrition/exercise plan that isn't sustainable for you. If you are more moderate, it is easier to stick to and the weight will stay off better. It just takes more time to lose. It sounds like you are not eating NEARLY enough. This is probably why you can only stay on your diet for 5 days at a time before you blow it. It is your body trying to survive!

    Your bmr is 1413 calories per day. You are not all that overweight, so I would suggest not ever NETTING less than that (recalculate it as you continue to lose though). If you use a sedentary activity factor, your TDEE is 1695 cal/day. Of course, you exercise, so it is my preference to use the sedentary factor and then just log your activities. Choose a moderate deficit (250-500 calories/day) and stick to the plan.

    In other words, if I were you, I would make sure you net 1413/day and if you exercise that day, you can eat a little more, but maintain your calorie deficit.

    I was thinking the same thing...that you're not eating enough. I'm 40, 5'7" and eat 2000-2100 cals per day on workout days to maintain my 136lbs and I lift weights. Also, if you're not already lifting heavy, lift heavy and light reps (so that you fail by the 12th rep) to build some muscle and therefore rev your metabolism. But if you do go heavier, you have to EAT your way lean, not starve your way lean. Hope that helps!
  • suaku
    suaku Posts: 45
    I plateaued eating too few calories, and when I kicked my daily allowance up another 200-300 calories per day (your numbers may vary), I haven't plateaued since.

    Also, I've been successful eating everything (even bad things in small amounts), so I don't get cravings that will lead to bingeing when they build up.
  • BrianSharpe
    BrianSharpe Posts: 9,248 Member
    I agree with the folks here. 1) your body is storing calories because it is in starvation mode. I'd recommend total calorie intake of 1200. 2) exercise is great but the weights add muscle which weighs more than fat 3) focus on eating less carbs and more protein/veggies.

    Starvation mode is a myth..........
  • MichelleLaree13
    MichelleLaree13 Posts: 865 Member
    I bet you are adding muscle weight and getting rid of fat weight at the same time. Everything you describe sounds like you are doing everything right.
  • californiagirl2012
    californiagirl2012 Posts: 2,625 Member
    Not knowing your total weigh loss history, but it seems you are fairly close to your goal.

    You lose a lot faster when you have a lot to lose, then as you get leaner you will lose slower. It requires more patience (yes even more than before!)

    There is no scientific evidence for starvation mode happening in men over 5% BF and women in over 12%, so the only way to know if you are in starvation mode is to see a doctor and get a DXA scan.

    But as you get leaner and closer to your goal you need to taper up your eating because you don't have as much fat reserve, and losing just a few lbs of fat takes much much longer.

    If you feel strong at the gym, are getting enough sleep, not too stressed with life, and your neck circumference is not going down then you are not likely to be in starvation mode.

    Only YOU can determine the correct amount of calories (all these tools are merely ball park estimates). Listen to your body. Measure the trend. Be super patient. Be wary of anyone telling you to eat more, or eat less, this is for YOU to decide.
  • fionaad
    fionaad Posts: 16 Member
    Not knowing your total weigh loss history, but it seems you are fairly close to your goal.

    You lose a lot faster when you have a lot to lose, then as you get leaner you will lose slower. It requires more patience (yes even more than before!)

    There is no scientific evidence for starvation mode happening in men over 5% BF and women in over 12%, so the only way to know if you are in starvation mode is to see a doctor and get a DXA scan.

    But as you get leaner and closer to your goal you need to taper up your eating because you don't have as much fat reserve, and losing just a few lbs of fat takes much much longer.

    I've had a DXA scan a while ago and that and the gym fat measurement scales say my body fat is about 22%. I'd like it to be 15%. So if starvation mode is a myth, is upping my net calories crazy?
  • rburkhead
    rburkhead Posts: 1
    I am so excited to read this post. I have the same body stats (5'6 145) and have been having the same issues for at least 6 months. I lost 23lbs by simply working out and counting calories. Since then, I have actually put on 6 lbs. I feel like I yo-yo, too, except I never completely lose what I gained the week prior. I have been mostly running and just recently added some TurboFire. The last 2 weeks, I have joined a TurboFire workout group while also training for a 10k. I made my own hybrid schedule and some days I run and do a TF video. According to my HRM, I burn between 700-1000 calories on days where I run 3+ miles and do a long video. I know I need to eat more to fuel my workouts. I have been having some kind of protein with a complex carb as a snack 2x a day along with my pretty nutritious meals. I have mostly cut out refined carbs and don't really eat processed foods. In the last 3 weeks, I have gained weight. I am so frustrated but it seems that maybe I should be eating even more than I do. I try to aim to eat 1800cals on days I workout really hard. Maybe it should be even more. I will keep reading responses because I feel that the answers will help me as well. Thanks for posting!
  • habi23
    habi23 Posts: 6
    your body has adapted to the nutrition and exercise, which is known as plateau. your going to need to switch it up
  • bnw7485
    bnw7485 Posts: 2
    I have been much like yourself... do really great with a "diet" then blow it... what I have found that works well for me is to have 1 day of the week where I have something I have cut out the rest of the week - for example the choclate, or ice cream, or maybe my favorite lunch/dinner... then when I do have the cravings later I dont go overboard and it is easy for me to get back in the routine. I also try to give myself 1 day a week of a break from working out and I ensure that is not the same day that I have my "bad" day. The rest of the time I dont do a specific "diet" I just am sure to drink 100+ ounces of water, and count calories- of course I go for more of the healthier options- fruits, veggies, small portions, etc- so far I have lost 11lbs and all I really do in the gym is cardio- 4 days a week and ride a bike 7.5-10.5 miles a day 5-6 days a week
  • fionaad
    fionaad Posts: 16 Member
    Good to hear from you :)
    Glad to know I'm not the only one finding this difficult. Seems like it should be easy (just eat less, exercise more), but it doesn't seem that way...
  • tbetts23
    tbetts23 Posts: 303 Member
    first, you might want to open your diary so people can help.

    I think it sounds like you are trying to do a nutrition/exercise plan that isn't sustainable for you. If you are more moderate, it is easier to stick to and the weight will stay off better. It just takes more time to lose. It sounds like you are not eating NEARLY enough. This is probably why you can only stay on your diet for 5 days at a time before you blow it. It is your body trying to survive!

    Your bmr is 1413 calories per day. You are not all that overweight, so I would suggest not ever NETTING less than that (recalculate it as you continue to lose though). If you use a sedentary activity factor, your TDEE is 1695 cal/day. Of course, you exercise, so it is my preference to use the sedentary factor and then just log your activities. Choose a moderate deficit (250-500 calories/day) and stick to the plan.

    In other words, if I were you, I would make sure you net 1413/day and if you exercise that day, you can eat a little more, but maintain your calorie deficit.

    What he said!
  • fionaad
    fionaad Posts: 16 Member
    Does anyone have a view on whether its better (easier) to exercise less and keep calories eaten lower, or eat more calories and exercise more? Eg, if I'm aiming for say 1400 NET calories a day, am I better off eating 2000 and burning 600, or should I just eat 1400 and chill out a bit more? Perhaps go for a walk or something.

    I currently exercise way more than most people I know, yet still struggle with my weight. Its counter-intuitive but I'm wondering if more rest would help my body in some way and make me less likely to get tired and binge.

    Anyone have any experience or ideas about this?
  • fionaad
    fionaad Posts: 16 Member
    I have been much like yourself... do really great with a "diet" then blow it... what I have found that works well for me is to have 1 day of the week where I have something I have cut out the rest of the week - for example the choclate, or ice cream, or maybe my favorite lunch/dinner... then when I do have the cravings later I dont go overboard and it is easy for me to get back in the routine. I also try to give myself 1 day a week of a break from working out and I ensure that is not the same day that I have my "bad" day. The rest of the time I dont do a specific "diet" I just am sure to drink 100+ ounces of water, and count calories- of course I go for more of the healthier options- fruits, veggies, small portions, etc- so far I have lost 11lbs and all I really do in the gym is cardio- 4 days a week and ride a bike 7.5-10.5 miles a day 5-6 days a week

    Sounds like a good plan - I'll try it (and try to get over my all-or-nothing personality)!
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