How do you figure out how much to eat

Everyone says to eat more to lose but it really makes me nervous. I am a longtime yoyo dieter and I am sick of it. I want something I can live with. I have been running for a year now. I want to lift. Right now I have 5,8,& 10 lb dumbells to use. I would like to start lifting heavy but I need to join the gym for that. I'm 5'3, weigh 170 and my scale says my BF is 36.4%. How do I figure out how much I can eat and lose? TIA!

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