Help! Spouse has no desire to change habits

stringsNlinks
stringsNlinks Posts: 293 Member
edited September 20 in Introduce Yourself
Hi all, I am a newbie of sorts. I was using this site a while ago and then stopped but now I am back. My big problem is my hubbie is a big meat/potatoe/vegie/bread kind of dinner guy. I do great every day during the day, even on weekends but dinner is soooooo hard! I'm planning two meals or not eating with the rest of the family. That stinks because we take eating dinner together on a regular basis very serious (with a teenager at home, it's often the only time we see her) He is awesome in the kitchen and often cooks dinner too but if I want to stay within my calorie range I have to fend for myself. Any suggestions.

Replies

  • Kittany
    Kittany Posts: 31 Member
    My husband won't make any changes in his eating habits at all. So instead of me constantly pressing him and getting upset about it, I gave up. BUT, when I say gave up, I meant on changing him. Now I make my own dinners either earlier in the day and store them. Or if I am cooking dinner, I will make something for everyone else (I have 3 kids) and then something for me. I also have my own "snack cabinet" where I know I can eat anything from that cabinet. It's safe. My trainer gave me that idea and she is wonderful!
  • poustotah
    poustotah Posts: 1,121 Member
    Get in the kitchen yourself! My hubby is the same way and he's 350 lbs. So I quit letting him cook. I do it all and we ALL eat healthy. If he doesn't like it then he can go get something else (I know already though that he's too lazy to leave so he doesn't do this) or he can eat more healthy food.
  • kwithcmt
    kwithcmt Posts: 7
    I would say to eat smaller portions during the day, or exercise after dinner. That would be the easiest. Besides, it sounds like your Husband is making a good balance for your daughter's recommended food intake. But, yes, a nice walk around the block after dinner with the husband would be the best way of fixing the problem. Or you can even run up and down the stairs a few times to expend some calories, making more room for the wonderful evening amount ;D.
  • Arienna
    Arienna Posts: 913
    My hubby is the SAME way. What I've been doing is making substitutions to meals to make them healthier for our family. He never notices. But sometimes it's still not low enough fat/calories for me to want to eat it so I either make myself something else or have what I made but with even more changes. Like If I'm going to make burrito casserole, I just leave out some of the meat and make myself a burrito with a low carb tortilla, some of the meat, leave out the sauce and a little cheese. Even when I make myself completely separate meals, I don't mind b/c I know I'm going to be healthier for it. I feed my kids healthy, only keep healthy snacks in my house. If my husband wants to eat unhealthy, that's his choice but no one else in my house is going to.

    Also, I make up big batches of things like chili, stew, boiled chicken, etc and freeze it for quick reheating when I'm not eating the same dinner.
  • ktrichards87
    ktrichards87 Posts: 67
    Slowly make changes so you are cooking more....Then he will slowly realize that he is eating healthier without it being a huge change at once. Like rather than a regular potato, do sweet potatoes, or instead of hamburgers do turkey burgers.
  • Mommabee
    Mommabee Posts: 103
    My husband too loves to cook and he is AMAZING at it, sigh... I know lots of women who would kill to have husbands who could at least boil water, let alone cook a whole meal! I guess we all want what we haven't got!
    Luckily, mine is helping me with my new life. He still eats what he wants, but he also tries to cook things that I can eat too. I just try not to eat as much as I used to and he is trying to learn to cook healthy things that taste good for me. I think he sees it as kind of a challenge in a way, can he take something healthy and turn it into something healthy AND tasty without adding alot of calories, carbs, fat, etc. Along the way, he is eating healthier too, I just don't point that out to him, if you know what I mean!:wink:
    Talk to him, I bet if you really include him in your plan (I show mine my food log every night) he will do what he can to help. Good luck!
    Hugs:flowerforyou:
  • catherine1979
    catherine1979 Posts: 704 Member
    I cook all the meals in our home, so he is forced to eat what I eat. I usually try to make meals that are easily made low fat... if I make pasta, I do the sauce vegetarian and no cheese on mine. If we grill, I have a lean cut of beef or salmon to his steak and we both eat the same sides. I make a lot of stir fry and curries, so he has no idea what's in them anyway.
  • stringsNlinks
    stringsNlinks Posts: 293 Member
    Also, I make up big batches of things like chili, stew, boiled chicken, etc and freeze it for quick reheating when I'm not eating the same dinner.
    [/quote]

    Great ideas...thanks. I especially like the one above. and had to LOL when it was said that most of us would kill for a cook in the kitchen. I will try to start incorporating the healthier choices slowly and see what happens. But in the meantime, preparing the separate meals will have to do
  • katznketo
    katznketo Posts: 323 Member
    Hi, I have the same problem and maybe worse. I have a 35 year old dad of my grandkids, a 6 and 11 year old. The 6 year old is as skinny as a rail, the 11 year old could stand to lose 10 pds. The dad is 80 pds overweight. I am 80 pds overweight.

    Not one single person likes what the other likes. I can't eat fat or carbs, the little one loves totillas and beans only. Dad loves fat and tortillas. Big brother doesn't like chicken or fish.

    Don't tell me not to cook any different. I wouldn't want to eat food I hate so I try to make it in a way that we all will enjoy our food.
    Sooooo, I hate dinner time.

    I find that I do best to eat a lean cuisine, homemade veggie soup or something before I even deal with them. But that is not always possible. That's my answer and I know it's pitiful. kc
  • twilightmom30
    twilightmom30 Posts: 8
    My husband was the same way so I started making healthy meals for both of us I would just make a bigger portion for him and he never complained he cleaned his plate every night. I am not saying this will work for your hubby but it is worth a try..
  • mhesterruns
    mhesterruns Posts: 49
    I used to cook seperate meals for my husband and 11 year old daughter. I have finally after having a baby a year ago decided to stop being a short order cook. I cookinteresting things and if they do not like it, they either do not eat or make themselves a pband j. Recently I tried a stuffed bell pepper, it was okay. My husband ate it. I realized I was wearing myself out cooking different things and then clenaing the mess. The first weeks were an adjustment for my oldest daughter my almost two year old will eat just about anything.
  • FireRox21
    FireRox21 Posts: 424 Member
    I'm in the same boat! My fiancee is an awesome cook; unfortunately he loves baking pies, grilling huge slabs of meat, or frying chicken! I have been successful at this weight loss thing and for every pound I've lost so far, he has gained. He refuses to eat grilled fish or anything low fat/low sugar. He actually claims he can tell the difference in taste from light pancake syrup vs regular syrup! It is so frustrating when he gets up before me and makes scrambled eggs w/cheese, homemade sausage gravy with homemade biscuits!!!! If I don't eat it, he gets very upset. So, I measure out portions and eat it, all the while thinking about the calories I'm wasting away. It is also tough that I live with my parents who are very obese. There is not a day that goes by that fast food is for dinner, Doritos and cookies are everywhere, and little dishes of chocolate candies are around with tons of bottles of full sugar soda there to wash it all down. My parents have no desire to change and that hurts. My dad had a heart attack Christmas of 2008 and he still weighs about 450lbs. My mom had gastric bypass surgery 13 years ago and refused to change eating habits or exercise and she is around 280lbs.

    I too, am wearing myself out trying to come up with dinner ideas that are healthy and filling. It is tough when no one will even try a salad that is not drenched in dressing or enjoy veggie dishes with no salt!!! Trying to cook separate meals for everyone is so time consuming and stressful. My best idea so far is I am washing out old bottles of sauces/syrups that have the full sugar/fat labels on them and refilling them with the low salt/low calorie versions!!!

    Mind over matter, I guess.
  • Jennplus2
    Jennplus2 Posts: 984 Member
    Me 2 :flowerforyou:
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